


Into the Inquisition

by Crilbyte



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: DA:I - Freeform, Dragon Age - Freeform, Dragon Age Inquisition, Dreams, F/M, Fade, Fade Sex, Fanfiction, Inquisition, POV Original Character, POV Solas, Reader-Insert, Self-Insert, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Solavellan, The Fade, solavellan hell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 15:13:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 41
Words: 98,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8332408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crilbyte/pseuds/Crilbyte
Summary: Player insert is sucked into their own version of Dragon Age Inquisition. Sounds like a dream come true until she realizes shes her usual self and has not replaced the Inquisitor, but coexists with her.She finds happiness acting as an Oracle due to her knowledge of the games proceedings and becomes helpful. But it's hard to keep a positive attitude when she must watch her Inquisitor romance Solas in her stead.





	1. Dream come True?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back from my vacation! Enjoy the angst.

“Wait, over here!”

Everything was spinning. Kara’s eyes fluttered for a moment, the colours blinding her. 

“What is it? Is that a girl?” an almost familiar voice rang out around her.

A wave of nausea rolled over her and she let out a groan.

“She’s alive,” another voice called out. 

“Well, help her up!”

A hand was on her back them in an attempt to help. Sitting up slowly she attempted to recognize anything around her to find herself in the center of a frozen lake and surrounded by a bunch of people in strange clothes.

“Does she speak?” a low, rough voice asked from behind her; it’s tone joking.

“Oh hush,” another sounded, this one higher with a heavy accent.

Kara rubbed her head, turning to see the owner of the voice and promptly stiffening, her eyes growing wide in recognition. She absolutely knew the person who had helped her up and now had one hand on her back and the other holding her own. She would recognize his earthy clothes and hairless head anywhere.

“Are you alright? How do you feel?”

Kara’s eyes rolled back in her head, unconsciousness falling over her once again.

. . .

A low murmur of voices clamored around Kara as she opened her eyes for the second time that day to be greeted with familiar-unfamiliar surroundings.

“She’s awake,” the rough voice said again.

“Varric, go get the Herald. Tell her our guest has awakened.”

Kara turned to see a man with a thick beard wearing dress robes sitting on a stool next to her. He rang out a piece of cloth and leaned towards her, laying the cool rag on her forehead.

“Now, don’t go moving,” he huffed, turning to a bag full of gars and digging around. “You were out cold when they brought you back; almost froze to death. My name’s Adan, I’m the head apothecary in Haven.”

Kara listened patiently, partially because this man intimidated her but mostly because she was still a little in shock and couldn’t find her voice. 

The sound of the door opening startled Kara, the clanging of it ringing out and silencing everyone in the room. All the eyes turned to see the Herald herself step through the entryway. She was beautiful. A Dalish elf with pale skin and long black hair. Her eyes were striking, a piercing blue with a ring of brown around it. They scanned the crowd, stopping only when they locked with Kara’s.

“I need the room,” her chime-like voice called out. “Leave us.”

The Herald watched as everyone filled out obediently, only stopping Adan to nod her head and thank him for his service. When they were the only two left in the room she turned her gaze back to Kara.

“Who are you?” she asked, stepping closer while keeping a safe distance.

“Um,” she began, sitting up and fidgeting with her fingers. “My name is Kara, Kara Donnelly.”

The elf stood rigid, her eyebrows coming together and giving her a very extreme look. 

Was she scared of her? Kara wondered, confused. What did she possess that would frighten the Herald of Andraste? 

“Then we share a name,” she said, suspicious. “My name is also Kara. I am Kara Lavellan from the clan of Lavellan.”

“Yes,” Kara replied quickly after. “I know who you are. I had a bit of a feeling.”

“A feeling?” she asked. 

The two stared at each other in silence for an uncomfortably long time before Lavellan slowly strode towards her, eyes as intense as ever. 

“There is something about you that concerns me,” the elf said,closing the gap between them. “I feel a strange pull towards you, as if you are not a stranger but an old friend or perhaps something even dearer.”

“Well,” Kara said, drawing out the length of the word, stalling. She wasn't sure if revealing everything was a good idea or not. 

“Where are you from?” she questioned. “Is it near here?”

“No,” Kara shifted her weight, avoiding eye contact. “I’m from somewhere far away.”

“Well, we can accompany you home if you’d like. Once your health has returned we can begin preparations.” Lavellan turned, pacing.

“No,” Kara insisted, instantly pulling the Herald’s attention back to her. “I don’t think I can.”

Lavellan suddenly looked concerned. “Were you banished? Or did you leave on bad terms? Something like that?”

She shook her head, “No, nothing like that. I just honestly don’t think it’s possible. I don’t think where I’m from and this place exist in the same reality.”

“What are you?” 

The concerned tone in her voice made Kara look up in time to see the slight woman come to her and sit on the edge of the bed.

“What is this, this feeling? The more I think on it the more I feel that there is something there that I do not see.”

Kara shrugged, deciding that it might be better to keep her secrets as such for the time being.

“Well,” Lavellan stood then, a comforting smile on her lips. “You’re welcome to stay here if you truly have nowhere to go.”

She was genuinely touched at the act of kindness. “Thank you.”

“When you’re feeling better, feel free to explore the base. Haven is beautiful and earned its name. I’m sure our companions would love to meet you. But for now, rest.”

Kara nodded and snuggled herself into the blanket as Lavellan left the room, her mind racing. Was this real? Had she truly been transported into a video game? Would she ever return home? She had no idea what was to become of her, but the thought didn't plague her for to long as sleep soon engulfed her.


	2. Settling In

Solas was standing in waiting outside of the cabin as Lavellan spoke with the mysterious girl. He hoped that she would manage to acquire some, if any information on who or what she was. He could tell from first seeing her that she was no spirit, demon, or other inhabitant of the fade but nevertheless there was something about her that troubled him. He stood as the the door creaked open and Herald walked out of the cabin, a puzzled look etched onto her face. 

“Did you learn anything from her?” he asked.

“Not much,” she sighed. “She claims that there is decidedly no way to return her to from wherever she came. No attempt to say her on it; and even so, she wouldn’t tell me where it was that she came from.” With a huff, Lavellan sat down on one of the crates surrounding them. 

“Something vexes you about her?” Solas inquired. 

“There is something about her that I cannot understand. It feels as though I know her.”

“Is it plausible that you recognize her?”

“No,” she began and he listened intently. “It’s less as if we’ve met before and more as if…” she paused, second guessing her words. “As if I were looking in a mirror, as if she were me, or perhaps a sister.”

Solas was entirely engulfed in her explanation, his mind racing as she attempted to explain. “That is something to be distressed over, but perhaps it is more mundane that all that.”

“Her name is Kara, Solas.” She looked up at him now, her harsh face silencing him. “I don’t know, maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s nothing.” She stood, brushing off her knees. “She’s resting now. I’m not sure if she’ll need any care.”

“I’ll stay close, in case she may need anything,” Solas assured her. “Besides, it might behoove us if I were to inspect her while she slumbers.”

Lavellan nodded and strode off. Solas was more confused now than he had been prior. Who was this girl and what secrets did she possess? Questions rolled through his mind as he entered the room quietly; each so fleeting that it was forgotten at the nexts formation. The girl was fast asleep, her body still. Even her eyelids were inert. It troubled solas in a way he hadn’t expected. Why was she in such a deathlike, meditative state. 

Walking towards her, he stretched out his hand, holding it over her body in an attempt to ascertain anything he could. He could feel her mind; it was anything but tranquil. She was not sleeping soundly, let alone meditating. He could feel something just out of his reach, something immense, something crucial; but as he reached for it, it evade him. And then it was gone. Solas glared down at the small girl laying in front of him; just a child. How could she hold such an enigma. He vowed to unearth her secrets, both for his own curiosity and in order to help her however they could.

. . .

It had been days before Kara woke up again. And when she did she was immediately under a scrutinous watch, as appointed by Solas. She made quick work of finding ways to escape to freedom and roam. 

She knew the layout of the base, Haven was small and difficult to forget, though the little things were all new to her. She found great pleasure in analyzing everything, running to and fro before someone sent her back to her room. 

At first, when she woke up, she spent most of her time trying to figure out what had happened. Lavellan and Cassandra made quick work of interrogating her, Solas always standing somewhere in the background, silently listening. She told them as much as she could, leaving out quite a bit in the process though. 

She figured that no one was going to believe that she was just some girl who found herself in a game one day. Instead she leaned more towards memory loss, explaining that the reason she knew so much of them and so little of herself was that she was clairvoyant, she just knew. She figured being useful would be the best option for her in order to not find herself on the streets. Once they had determined they weren’t going to be able to get anything else out of her they let it go.

After that she found herself alone most days, filling the empty time with reading or her own thoughts. Once she had truly come to accept that this was all real and not some dream her mind wandered to other things.

 _When_ she was quickly became another question she deliberated on; since the _where_ was relatively obvious. She had seen Iron Bull down by the stables and even Sera once when she visited the makeshift pub for a snack; but others were missing. Dorian was nowhere to be seen, insinuating that they hadn’t gone to get the mages just yet. Cole was obviously absent due to them still being at Haven.

It was then that she realized that they hadn’t yet dealt with Corypheus. That was something she had to look forward to.

Nothing too big seemed to be happening. Lavellan was out with her usual party more often than not, it seemed. It was quiet without Sera around. She really liked her and was hoping they could get to know each other better, but it could wait. Sera seemed to be the type who made fast friends. Solas being away was what bothered her most though. Whenever he was around she found herself watching him from afar, even without realizing it. Though some times were very much on purpose, such as the times she listened in on he and Lavellan talking.

One day while she was peeking from behind one of the cabins Iron Bull came up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

It took everything in her not to scream and give away her hiding spot as she turned to see the towering Qunari behind her. 

“Jesus, Bull. You scared the shit out of me!” she chastised, catching her breath.

“I’m not typically a quiet person, I assumed you would hear me approaching,” he chuckled. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s fine,” she assured, placing her hand on her chest in an attempt to slow her racing heartbeat.

“So what are you up to over here, huh? Spying on someone?” 

His curiosity was piqued when, instead of answering, Kara turned bright red. He peered around the corner to see the two elves engulfed in discussion and raised a brow. 

“You don’t have a thing for rabbit ears over there, do you?” he said, grinning widely.

“Hey,” she yelled, hitting him on the chest. “That’s offensive.”

“I’m sure I didn’t hurt his feelings,” Bull insisted. “Have you talked to him about it?”

Kara looked down at her hands, fiddling with her fingers.

“Have you spoken to him at all?” he asked,exasperated.

“Yes!” she flung back. “We spoke yesterday.”

“About something other than your health or origin?”

She didn’t answer then, she knew she was beat. Suddenly he grabbed her up by the arm and began pulling her along behind him.

“Wait! Bull, where are you taking me!?”

“What’s the best way to forget your problems?” he asked.

“I don’t know?”

“We drink!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not one for long introductions. I was a little impatient and skimmed over the whole denial, anger, and bargaining stages of grief; wanted to get right to the good stuff. (I hope you don't mind). I'm not looking for a Pulitzer.


	3. What Dreams May Come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm supposed to be on vacation (visiting family in California and going to Halloween Horror Nights Hollywood) So the next few chapters might have a little more time inbetween hem, but as soon as I'm back from it all it should pick back up. 
> 
> I'm pretty excited, this will mean I've been to three different Universals. California's, Florida's (where I'm from), and Japan's. (where i lived for the past two years)

Solas opened his eyes as he heard a now familiar sound chime around him. He had been meditating there in the fade, as he did some nights, when he once again found someone calling his name. He was sure he knew the owner of the voice, though he didn't know why. It was a woman’s voice, one he was sure he’d heard before but for the life of him, he could not place. He stood and began walking in its direction.

This was not the first time he had gone in search of the mystery woman who called out to him in such somber and sultry manner. Each night for the past fortnight, when he delved into the fade he could hear her, but each night bore no fruits. She had eluded him in each attempt and with each new night he became more curious and determined. He began preparative measures in order to enter the fade each new night at the place he had left it the previous in an attempt to find them. This night it seemed to finally be working.

As Solas walked further and further into the fade he began to notice the voice growing in volume. A pang of relief and joy hit him, stopping him in his tracks. He hadn’t realised how driven he was to finding her until that moment; it made him even more curious, but he ignored the sensation and pressed on. 

The voice grew and grew until he found himself in a hidden eden. There was a pond which led to a small river, the two being filled and pushed along by a tranquil waterfall that flowed from the cliff that surrounded the little garden on three sides. He had never been to this place before which interested him, but he did not question it at that time. 

As he proceeded into the grotto he came to find the source of his nightly enterprises. Next to the falls was a grouping of rocks covered in moss and sitting on those rocks was a couple. He stopped, not having yet been noticed, attempting to leave; but something stopped him. It sank in quite slowly, unusual for him, what it was about the scene that distressed him. 

He did in fact know the two individuals. The female was the girl who had come to stay with their group not too long before, the one who held the same name as their Inquisitor. While he wondered how she had managed to find herself in the fade, the thought was fleeting, as it was quickly replaced by one much more concerning. The second of the two, the male, who was so abundantly intertwined with her, was someone Solas knew very well. Someone he knew more intimately than any other. The man, who was so immensely consumed in the throws of passion with this girl he knew nothing of, was himself.

He stood, petrified at the sight, watching as the two continued, completely oblivious to his presence. His name flowed so effortlessly from her lips, so sensuous and vexing, and caressed his ears, sending a shiver down his spine. It had been quite some time since anyone had said his name in such a manner, and he understood very little as to why he was hearing it now. As their voices piqued, Solas found himself at an equally high level of discomfort. The image in front of him twisted and blurred for a moment before disappearing completely. 

Solas awoke with a start, sitting straight up in his bed and staring ahead of him. What had he just played witness to? He did not know the girl in any sense of familiarity. He had only spoken to her a few times in the last two or so weeks since her arrival. Had she developed some kind of endearment towards him? 

. . .

Everything was spinning. 

A sense of deja vu washed over Kara along with a wave of nausea that sent her thrashing wildly, her limbs tangling in the blanket covering her and, with one wrong move, sent her rolling onto the floor.

She groaned, just lying there in her own shame for a moment before a familiar voice rang through the silence.

“Need some help?” the voice boomed.

Caught completely off guard, Kara shouted, jerking away in an attempt to escape but only managing to tangle herself further; the voice going into a fit of laughter. She looked up then to see Iron Bull sitting on the edge of the bed she assumed she had just fallen from.

“Bull?” she asked, looking around to find that she was not in her room. “Why…?” she began, trailing off.

Still laughing, Bull leaned down and grabbed a fistfull of blanket, pulling straight up and letting Kara tumble into freedom and spurring another round of chuckles. She rubbed her head, feeling even more sick after spinning like a top, and stood. Her confusion setting into reality and making her nervous.

“Why am I in your room?” she asked, turning to him with wide eyes. “Did we…?”

“Do you honestly think you’d be up and walking if that were true?” he said, patting her back a little harder than she expected. “You were too drunk to stand so I just carried you back here.”

“Oh,” she sighed, sitting down next to him. “God, my head.”

“Yea, that shit’ll give you a wicked hangover. I’ll have to get you some good ‘morning after food’.”

“What happened, I remember very little; which is actually very strange for me. I think this is a first, actually.”

“I found you spying on the boss and her boyfriend, all pathetic and shit, so I dragged you to the tavern to take your mind of things.” Bull placed a comforting hand on her shoulder as she slumped over, face in her hands. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure only Krem and I heard your whole confessional spiel.” 

She turned to him quickly, face rigid with terror. “What.” The whole room felt cold. “What. Did. I. Say.”

“Calm down, you mostly just ranted about your weird obsession with the Elf.” Bull grinned as she visibly calmed. “Though you were talking crazy at one point; something about being from another dimension.”

“Nooo,” she groaned, her face falling back into its place in her hands and making a loud smacking sound.

“It’s fine, I’m pretty sure everyone else just took it in as drunk rambling. I’m a little smarter than that.” Bull gave her a hearty pat on the back before standing up. “You’ll have to explain a little more to me over breakfast. Common, get dressed and we’ll get some grub.”

. . .

“So you have no idea what brought you here?” Bull asked, taking another spoonful of whatever he had served them both. It was thick and savory, but pleasingly heavy in Kara’s stomach.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I don’t think I have much of a chance at getting home. But that’s okay I guess.”  
Bull raised a brow. “So willing to say goodbye to your old life, are you?”

“Well, I mean, it wasn't that great of a life.” Kara stirred her food slowly. “I mean, I didn't have a job, I wasn't taking any classes, I had a boyfriend but I don’t think we were really going anywhere. I had more affection towards fictional characters than I did towards him. I didn't even have any really good friends.”

Bull frowned, Kara was obviously taking this a lot harder than she had been letting on to the rest of the crew and it bothered him. “Maybe it’s a good thing,” he insisted.

“A good thing?” Kara looked up, a spark of hope in her eye that spurred him on.

“Yeah, a new start. This is good for you. Clean slate and all.”

A small smile slowly grew on Kara’s lips and she looked back down at her bowl. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

. . .

He was unsure of the answers to any of his questions and as the day progressed it seemed as though none of them would be answered. When Solas had rejoined with the others he noticed that she was among his comrades. He gazed at her curiously and after a few moments her eyes shifted to meet his, greeting him with a smile. She seemed to hold nothing special towards him now, in the waking hours, and it left him in a state of confusion. 

What little he did know of this girl was thrown off by this new chain of events. She had proven to be a kind and thoughtful girl, though shy and softspoken. He had presumed that she would, upon meeting his gaze, blush or show some other sign of embarrassment after the previous night’s dream; but it seemed as though she held none. 

Was she not embarrassed by the thought? Or perhaps she did not remember the dream at all, as many humans admittedly did at times. He was unsure; both of the answers to his ponderings and of how he might ever get those answers. Not to mention he was sure he saw her leaving for the kitchens with the Iron Bull, both having emerged from the same cabin, which also threw him into another loop of confusion.

Shaking it off, Solas returned his attention to Cassandra, who had been in the middle of a debriefing on their current situation. He would have to continue this at a later date. More important things needed attending to; though he found it harder and harder to do as the days passed.


	4. Not a Child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a little uneventful but don't worry, the next one wont be.

It had been a long few days. Lavellan and her team had been out regularly doing little helpful missions wherever they could, leaving Kara alone at camp for most of the time. She had gotten very close with Iron Bull in the short time she had been there. He was easy to talk to and always willing to listen; plus, it seemed as though nothing could diminish his mood, keeping her in high spirits whenever he was around.

She and Sera had a pretty good thing going as well. Kara was small and fit into most of Sera’s clothes, so they shared. Bull had commented on it at one point, confused. She happily explained how even back where she was from, she was known for wearing strange clothes and so when she got bored with what stores had to offer she learned to make her own. Sera was the perfect model to base the sizing on, not to mention they shared a sense of style.

With both of them out with the Herald, Kara found herself falling back into her moapy ways, slogging around camp or just staying in her room for hours on end. She couldn’t even spy on Solas, like a creeper, since he was always out with them as well. 

Today, Kara found herself sitting outside, leaned up against a bag of rice while watching the Knight Commander himself as he trained the soldiers. The loud clanging of swords and shields made it difficult to concentrate on any one thought, giving her an escape. 

Cullen had noticed her watching them, and at first thought nothing of it, but after a few hours of her just sitting there, dejected look on her face, he became concerned. He excused himself from the two men he was critiquing and walked over to her.

“It’s Kara, right?” he asked, stopping a few feet from her.

Kara looked up at him but remained silent.

“You were looking quite dispirited over here,” he commented and held out a hand. “I don’t think I can bear to watch it any longer. Come with me.”

She didn't quite understand, Cullen and she hadn’t spoken more than a few times, and mostly only in a polite and topical manner. She was confused as to why he suddenly seemed to be interested in her, but she didn't question it. She took his hand and he helped her stand with ease, taking it and placing it in the crook of his arm before leading her away. 

Kara blushed a funny shade of pink, she’d never had someone do anything like that before. Cullen was definitely a chivalrous and polite man. She felt as if he were taking her to prom not just somewhere to be entertained. The whole situation was a little shocking to her, keeping a decent warmth on her cheeks as they paraded through the camp. Embarrassed or not, she at no point attempted to remove her hold on him. She kind of liked it there. It felt nice.

Cullen led her past his soldiers and out onto the frozen lake. She stumbled every now and then but he had a quick hand to catch her before she could hurt herself. Each new slip let out another round of giggles and banter. She hadn’t even been away for more than a minute and he had already cheered her up immensely. 

They approached a small pier, made useless due to the winter, and stopped. Cullen turned then, an endearing smile on his face as he held out both arms. Kara lifted her hand, assuming he was going to assist her in climbing it, but was taken by surprise when he instead grabbed her by her waist and effortlessly lifted her into the air, setting her down on the edge of the dock before joining her. Kara fiddled with her fingers as he adjusted his armour into a more comfortable arrangement. 

“I’ve always liked it out here,” he said with a smile. “It’s just far enough away that you can’t hear the hustle and bustle of the camp. It’s peaceful.”

“It is,” Kara agreed, swinging her feet.

“So, how have you been getting along here,” Cullen asked, turning to her. “I know it had to be hard, settling in.”

“It’s better now. I do still miss my home, though less for any real reasons and more just the familiarity of it. Everything here is so different. But in a good way.”

“It seems as though you’ve settled in, made a few friends.” Cullen leaned back, bracing himself on his arms.

“That’s true. Sera’s always entertaining and it’s hard to be sad around Iron Bull. I’ve really come to like the two of them.”

“It’s hard to be _anything_ with Iron Bull around. He’s relatively intimidating, and not just because he’s a Qunari. He’s just as enthusiastic about drinking as he is about fighting.” Cullen laughed as if remembering some specific event. “It’s interesting that you would find comfort in him as you do, he seems so much different.”

“He and I are actually quite similar,” Kara explained. “You’f be surprised.”

“Oh really?” Cullen asked. 

“Yes, we have a similar sense of humour, and we’re both ruthless flirts.” Kara turned to Cullen and began laughing when she saw his face. He had a look that was a mixture of shock and disbelief.

“What’s so funny?” he questioned.

“You!” she insisted through her laughter. “Your face!”

“And what of my face?” Cullen puffed his chest out in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. 

“What?” she asked, her voice dipping into a low, sultry tone. She leaned closer to him, resting a hand on his thigh. “You don’t believe me? Do I need to prove myself?” she let her thumb move back and forth, caressing the soft fabric of his inner thigh and pulling the tiniest shiver from him. She let her offer hang in the air just long enough to send Cullen reeling, his face reddening as he broke eye contact. She grinned then, leaning back and falling into another fit of giggles.

“I suppose you two do hold the same sense of humour after all.” Cullen huffed, pouting slightly before seeming to notice something across the lake.

Catching her breath, Kara wiped a tear from her eye before looking to see where his gaze had shifted to. Across the water was Iron Bull waving his arms in the air. When he saw that she’d noticed him he made a “come here” motion.

“It seems as though they’ve returned. I wonder what it is he has to show you?” Cullen asked before pushing off the dock and landing hard on his feet. He turned and held out his hands again. “I assume you’re curious to see.”

Kara nodded, letting him pick her up again and gently set her on her feet beside him. He assisted her on the walk back across the lake to greet an immensely excited Iron Bull waiting for them.

“Bull!” Kara shouted as they drew closer. “You’re back!”

“Indeed, and we’ve returned with something I think you’ll find you’ll find you like quite a bit.” 

Iron Bull reached out and she transferred her hand from the commander’s arm to that of Bulls, waving goodbye and thanking him as Bull let her to the stables.

“So, we assisted in the delivery of a unique animal. A steed in fact. They were calling it a unicorn before we arrived, and while I know that might not be so much up your alley but just wait until you see it.”

Bull held a hand on top of hers, excitedly explaining the journey as they approached the stables. Solas, Sera, and Lavellan were all standing around it as well, strange looks on each of their faces. While Solas looked as though he were analyzing the creature Lavellan and Sera looked more shocked. And Sera’s look of shock erred more on the side of disgust as well.

“What a strange creature,” Solas commented, a hand raising to hold his chin.

“Creature?” Sera shouted loudly. “Thing’s a demon!”

“Now Sera,” Solas chastised. “It’s is no demon; simply a horse resurrected.”

“Well, whatever it is it gives me the heebiejeebies.”

“It’s certainly… something,” Lavellan finally chimed in.

Kara pushed her way past the three and the beast was revealed to her at last. It looked like a horse, or something that at one point had in fact been a horse. It’s skin was a dark brown, fur matted and clinging to its bones as if it had never eaten a day in its life. Its main was a fiery orange and through its skull-like head was a rusted old sword, giving it the appearance of a unicorn’s horn. Kara’s face lit up as she took it all in. 

“It’s magnificent,” she cooed.

“Magnificent!? It’s a horror!” Sera retorted. “Every one of you’s head’s is full of shite! That’s what it is!” She yelled before stomping off.

Bull laughed and Solas turned to look at Kara, who was standing on her toes now, attempting to reach the thing over the fence.

“Your childish wonder is something of a breath of fresh air,” he said with a smirk.

Kara stopped and turned to him then, a confused look plastered to her face. “Childish?” she asked. “Solas, how old do you think I am?”

His brow furrowed then but she continued before he could answer.

“I’m older than Sera, you realize that right?”

“Older than…?” he trailed off, not finishing his sentence.

“I just recently turned twenty-four, Solas. I’m no child.” Kara crossed her arms and sank into her hip.

Solas sputtered a moment, not used to being caught off guard like this. Iron Bull laughed at the two, the situation in general tickling him. 

“Well, I thought you’d want to see the beast,” he said, patting Kara’s back and almost knocking oher over. “I’m starving after such a long journey. Let’s go eat.”

And with that the two were off to the mess hall.


	5. In Dreams We Ache

Kara’s eyes opened slowly, looking forward but not seeing anything in her room. It had been another night of self immolation in her little oasis and, once again, she awoke with a hollow feeling somewhere deep inside her. It had just been a dream after all, and she knew that, but she couldn’t help but fall right back into it every time she closed her eyes and found herself there, inevitably leading to her waking up feeling sick.

It took almost half an hour before she managed to drag herself out of bed to face the day. She reluctantly got dressed, put on a little makeup, and pulled her hair up into a messy bun. With a deep breath she stepped out into the sunlight and made her way to the tavern to have breakfast. Iron Bull and Sera were already there and motioned for her to sit with them; she obliged gladly. 

The two chatted as Kara poked at a piece of meat on her plate, slowly chewing and staring through it, her mind not here with the rest of them. Bull had been watching her intently, the curiosity in him growing until he couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Are you going to swallow that or just chew it into a paste?” he asked with a chuckle. 

Kara looked up at him suddenly, sputtering when she swallowed her food wrong and bracing herself on the table while she fought the urge to cough arduously. Bull exploded in a wave of boisterous laughter.

“What’s got you so thoughtful? It’s curious.” Bull laced his fingers in front of him, his elbows resting on the table. “It’s obvious that something’s on your mind.”

Kara hesitated, taking a breath before beginning. “Bull, have you ever heard of lucid dreaming?”

Bull pushed out his bottom lip, looking up at the ceiling. “Hm, I can’t say I have. Why?”

“Well, basically it’s when you realize you’re dreaming and take control of the dream, changing things and bending it to your will.”

Bull nodded, not interrupting her. 

“Lately I’ve been having those kind of dreams almost every night. I mean, there are still some nights where it feels like I just went to sleep but it feels like I wake up only minutes later, but it’s been hours.” She sighed and rubbed her temples. “But every night that I _do_ dream, I'm in full control; and I remember everything when I wake up like it’s more like a memory than a dream.”

“Sounds like the Fade,” Bull commented passively, taking another bite of his breakfast.

“The Fade?” 

“Yea, I’ve heard you can go into the fade when you sleep.”

“How would that work?” she questioned just as Sera sprayed a mouthful of her drink, instantly gaining their full attention.

“What the hell?” she yelled, her voice quite a few pitches higher than normal. “Don’t say that kinda shite; how am I supposed to sleep now knowing that I might get sucked into ghost-land!?”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” Bull said, grinning.

“Well which is it?” her voice troubled.

“I don’t know? You’ll have to ask Solas; he’s the expert.” 

“Ugh!” Sera exclaimed loudly, “ standing and walking away in a huff.

The two watched as she left, Kara slightly concerned and Bull incredibly amused. Kara turned to Bull who was covering his mouth and laughing under his breath. It made her smile. Bull seemed to be infallibly able to cheer her up. 

Once he’d pulled himself back together Bull turned his attention back to Kara. “Well, like I said, I don’t know much about the fade or its characteristics. Solas’ll be your best bet.”

Kara groaned, slouching onto the table. 

“Well that was a strong reaction. What’s the problem? Don’t wanna talk to him about it?” When she didn’t answer, but instead shrugged, he pushed a little. “What’s the big deal. It’s not like you’re dreaming about him or anything, right?”

Kara groaned, not looking back up at him.

“Oh, is that so? Man, you’re really in it deep huh?” Iron Bull patted her back in an attempt to be comforting.

. . .

Flames rippled across her skin, raising goosebumps as the feeling of his lips trailed up her shoulder to her neck and then her chin. Her breath hitches, his teeth grazing her lip as he pulls her closer, one hand on the back of her head and the other in the curve of her back. With very little effort Kara found herself drifting along, her mind only lightly focused on any one thing. Everything seemed so unimportant and fleeting when she could feel his skin against hers. 

Gasping, they break their passionate kiss as he pressed his head in the crook of her neck. Kara held him tightly, never close enough to him, and with glazed eyes looped off into the distance only to find something she hadn’t expected.

Or perhaps a better description is _someone_.

At the other end of the oasis stood a lithe man, eyes wide. Though he was only there for a moment, she recognized him instantly. It was Solas. Solas was here, he’d seen her. Before she could even begin to fully process this she began to feel dizzy, her eyelids fluttering before jolting awake.

Barely avoiding thrashing herself out of the bed, Kara attempted to catch her breath but only found herself falling into a panic. How long had he been there? What had he seen? Was that really Solas? Was Iron Bull right? Was she traveling into the Fade as she slept?

Kara took deep breaths, her head spinning from hyperventilating. She needed to calm herself down if she had any hope of dealing with this. Suddenly she found herself rehashing her conversation from the previous day with Iron Bull.

Talk to solas about it? She could barely keep herself together though the few conversations they’d had so far, how was she supposed to ask him about the fact that she was having _those kinds of dreams_ about him. But at the same time, what else could she do? The only other people who knew about the Fade in any sense of the word were people of the chantry and Kara had no desire to go and talk to them. Back before she entered this world she hadn’t been religious and, with the similarities that it held to many structured religions, she certainly didn't want to be dragged around by it now. 

Just when she was about to give in, It seeming as though Solas might be her only answer, there was a rap at her door.

“Oi,” came Sera’s voice through the door. “Boss pointy-ears called us to meet up. She’s got another mission for us!”

“I’ll be right there!” she shouted back, making herself presentable and leaving to join the others, her mind still racing on what she could do to fix her new muddled situation. She was positive that there was no way that she could just walk up to him and tell him about it, there had to be another way. She could always just fake not remembering it until she came up with a better plan. This seemed to her to be the most enticing answer currently. 

Before she’d knew it she was standing in the main hall in front of the war room while Cassandra gave them her usual dispatch speech before a serious mission; but that wasn’t what brought her quickly back to reality. Standing across the hall from her was a very puzzled Solas. 

It took every ounce of concentration that she had in her body to not blush or look away and instead just smile back. With a twitch of his brow he looked back to Cassandra and she took a desperately needed breath, trying to hide the fact that she was on the verge of falling apart.

“Do we all understand the task at hand?” Cassandra asked and was returned with a chorus of yes’s and nods. “Alright. Sera, Solas, you to will accompany the Herald and I to Redcliffe to attempt to make a deal with the mages. Prepare yourselves, we’ll leave first thing tomorrow.”

A flash of ice shot down Kara’s back as she watched the group dissolve, reaching out for Sera ant catching her wrist. “Did she say Redcliffe?” she asked, her eyes not moving to see her.

“Yea,” Sera scoffed. “Shite innit? A whole city of jinxflingers. Just my luck.” She broke away then, darting off.

Before she could stop herself, Kara was running after Solas. When she had caught up she reached out to him, calling his name.

“Yes?” he asked, turning. A genuinely surprised look crossed his face.

“Oh, um,” she stuttered, not having thought the act through. “Just wanted to wish you good luck. Stay safe.”

He nodded and walked away, her eyes locked onto his back until he was no longer in sight. Kara went through the rest of her day like a zombie. She didn't talk to anyone, she didn't taste the food she ate, and she didn't even pay attention to anything, to the degree that when she realized that it had gotten dark out she didn't remember what had taken up all the hours between that morning and then.

As Kara walked to her cabin she caught a glimpse of Solas heading to do the same. Lavellan had walked him to his room, the two were talking and from what she could make out they were speaking about history and how Solas regularly was able to see things that once were through the fade. 

Just then, Kara knew what she needed to do.

Lavellan said her goodnights when they reached his door and left. Solas turned to enter when he just happened to look up to see Kara. When his eyes caught hers, she sent him a little smile, holding his stare for slightly longer than normal before ducking behind her door. Hopefully he was as curious as she knew him to be and would attempt to find her in the Fade that night as well.

. . .

Solas locked the door behind him, slowly making his way to his bed, his mind racing. What had just happened? The look she had given him was benevolent enough, yet he found himself unable to disregard the event. She had smiled at him. A smile was innocent enough; but there was a lingering intent to it, he was sure of it. 

Sitting on his bed, Solas blew out the candle he’d carried there, setting it on the bedside table. As he tucked himself beneath his sheets he realized, and accepted, that he was indeed going to delve into the Fade again that night in order to find even the slightest bit of closure.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Solas closed his eyes and soon found himself through the veil. The familiar atmosphere wrapped itself around them and he immediately found himself at peace. With a deep breath, Solas set off to find the eden again. It took little time, having both already been there once now and also knowing where it all originated from. He made an effort to be as muted as he could be as he approached. 

The closer he got the more aware he was of the heavy silence. He began to doubt she was even here this night, stepping into the rock arch opening to the green sanctuary to find that she had, in fact, come.

There, across the shallow stream of water, sat Kara. She was wearing a gossamer gown, the white gauzy fabric mostly transparent; the only thing truly covering her being a white leotard. Her eyes raised the moment he’d crossed the threshold, a demure but excited smile finding a home on her lips. 

“Solas,” she said in a hushed voice. “You came.”

“I have indeed,” he replied. 

Kara motioned for Solas to come closer and he obliged, slowly crossing the gap separating them and stood in front of her.

“This might seem a disparaging question, but I must ask,” he pressed. “You are Kara, correct? The same Kara that has come to stay under the inquisition’s reach?”

“Yes,” she answered. “I am.”

He nodded, not as appeased as he’d hoped. When he didn't continue his interrogation, Kara took over the role.

“What is it that brought you here?”

“I could hear you, through the fade, as I slept. I began searching for the owner of the voice and came across you.”

“I see,” she answered, biting her lip.

“Do you travel to the Fade often?”

She shook her head. “Only when I sleep. I don’t have any true control over it. Iy just happens.”

“Fascinating.” Solas raised his hand to his chin, slowly making a half circle route around Kara, analyzing her. “And it seems as though you have no memory of such events once you’ve returned to the waking world.”

She seemed to start at his, her eyes widening, if only slightly. “O-oh,” she stuttered. “Yes. That seems to be the case.”

“Perhaps latent magical abilities,” he mumbled to himself. “Or something connected to the breach, perhaps.”

“I need to tell you something,” Kara said, interrupting his thought. He looked back to her face, curious. “You’re going to Redcliffe tomorrow, right?” she asked

“Yes, in an attempt to recruit the mages.”

“Right.” Kara began twisting the fabric of her dress with nervous fingers. “I wanted to tell you to be careful.”

Solas raised a brow at that. “We try to always do just that,” he insisted.

“No, I mean…” Kara let out an exasperated sigh. “I know what you’re all walking into, and it’s dangerous. It’s, it’s a trap. And I know that you’ll all be alright in the end, but I needed to tell you to be careful. To stay safe.”

Solas furrowed his brow, entirely confused. “This doesn’t have to do with the fact that Cassandra and the Herald have been entitled you as an oracle for the inquisition?”

Kara didn't answer his question, instead she gracefully slid from the stone she had been sitting on and closed the distance between them and reaching up to hold his face. “Whether you believe me or not, keep my warning in mind. I’ve seen the result of your failure and I couldn’t bear to see it again.”

“Seen the result…” Solas repeated slowly, but before he could question her further she had raised herself onto her toes and pressed her lips to his ever so lightly. 

That’s when Solas’s eyes opened and he found himself back in his room, birds chirping outside at the dawn.


	6. Truth in the Night

As their lips met it felt as if a star was forming somewhere just below Kara’s ribs. Intense and ruthless and burning brightly. Solas didn’t pull away, but within seconds he was gone; nothing left in her hands but air and the lingering warmth of his face on her skin. She opened her eyes then, letting her hands slowly fall to her sides as she stared at the empty space in front of her. She sat down onto the mossy rock below and that’s where she stayed until she was awoken by a loud banging at her door. 

“Hey, you awake in there?” Varric’s soothingly graveled voice rang through the wood. “They’re leaving soon, didn’t know if you were gonna come send them off with the others.”

“No, I don’t feel well today. But thank’s for thinking of me,” she called back. 

“Suit yourself,” he chimed before she could hear his heavy steps slowly fade out. 

Kara pulled her knees to her chest, throwing the blanket over her head and let herself drift back to sleep. There was no way she could face him after such a bold action, not to mention the fact that she truly was worried about their safety. She hoped that her warning would be enough, though a small part of her assumed it must be since they were fine without her in their own original timeline. She refused to leave the bed for the rest of the day, drifting in and out of sleep.

She did not dream then, or the next night; her sleep empty and unsatisfying. When she awoke she felt as if she had only slept minutes instead of hours. Many, in fact; and when she didn’t leave her room again the following day, Iron Bull decided that it had been long enough.

Without knocking, Iron Bull entered Kara’s room, startling her into a sitting position. She held her blankets to her chest, despite being reasonably covered with her nightclothes, and shouted.

“Bull!? What the hell!? You can’t just waltz in here like you own the place!”

“I don’t believe that rule was ever established,” he teased, walking towards her dresser and pulling out the first dress his hand touched. He didn't even look at it before throwing it onto the bed in front of Kara. “Get dressed, we’re going on a trip.”

Kara reached forward, holding up the dark blue dress and looking between it and the Qunari. “What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been in here too long. Hurry up, get dressed.”

“Wha…?” she stuttered. “I’m not going to change while you’re in here,” she insisted.

“Is that what’s bothering you?” he asked with his usual chuckle. “Fine, fine, I’ll go. I’ll be just outside though, so don’t try to go back to sleep or I'll come in here and change you myself.” He gave her a serious look before slowly leaving, the door shutting quietly behind him.

Kara considered for a brief moment ignoring him, but his warning made her reconsider. She wouldn’t put it past Iron Bull to do exactly that. With a sigh she threw the covers from her and slid out of bed, changing and getting herself ready for a journey; boots and leggings to go with a shorter skirted dress instead of a normal long one. It was split up the center to make riding easier, along with most other things. Kara had never realized how restricting dresses were until they were almost all she wore. She swore never to take pants for granted ever again.

Once she looked what she considered prepared for a journey, light makeup and hair pinned, she stepped outside of her room to find Bull right where he said he’d be; sitting on a stack of lumber next to her cabin.

“Good,” Bull stood, brushing off his pants and starting down the path. “You were taking a while. I was afraid I was gonna have to drag you out of bed by the ankles.”

“Girls take a little while to get ready,” Kara snapped back, following obediently. “Don’t you know that?” There was more venom in her voice than she had intended but Bull didn't seem offended by it.

“The only women I’ve spent any extended time with were Qunari and they’re not quite as concerned about appearances. At least not usually.”

Kara sighed, her mood worse than she’d realized, and wondered where Bull was taking them both. She followed him through the front gates and over to the stables before finally being unable to hold back.

“Alright, where are we going?” She asked as Bull led two horses through the gate.

“You’ll see. Now, hop on.” Bull motioned toward one of the horses.

A grimace grew on Kara’s face. “Uh, Bull, I dont know how to ride a horse,” she admitted, skeptical. 

“Come on. It’s not that hard.”

“Hard or not, I have no idea even where to- Hey!” 

Bull interrupted her excuses, picking her up effortlessly by her waist and sitting her on the horse’s back.

“Bull!” she yelled, blushing a little. “Seriously! I can’t do this!”

He turned to the stable master, tossing one set of reins towards him, who caught it ungracefully. “Seems we’ll only be needing one then.” 

Kara gave him a skeptical look but didn't protest as he smoothly mounted the horse, sitting behind her.

“Now, don’t move too much, or you’ll fall off,” Bull instructed. 

He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back, pressing her against his chest. It brought a blush to her cheeks and suddenly she couldn’t seem to find her voice. Her reaction took her by surprise. What was with that response? She realized that he was just bracing her, but it was hard to stay calm even then. 

With a flick of the reins and a squeak from her over the sudden jostling, they were off. No one protested as they crossed the stone bridge. Nameless soldiers opened the gate and waved them off and as soon as they’d crossed the threshold Bull snapped the reins a second time, inciting the horse to a full gallop. This, more violent shift in speed caught Kara off guard, letting out a full on yelp this time. Bull didn't say anything, he just laughed as they raced across the snowy planes. 

“Where are we going?” Kara finally asked after what seemed like hours of riding. Her hips were beginning to ache and the air had become heavy and thick with a familiar aroma.

“Someplace I think you’ll like.” He pointed ahead of them then. “We’re here. Look.”

Kara turned to looked where he was pointing and her face lit up, the scent suddenly making sense. 

“I remember you telling Sera about how you grew up by the ocean. I figured it might cheer you up.” Kara was wriggling to get off the horse far before they’d reached the shore. “Careful now,” he tried to warn, but she had already freed herself, falling to her feed with a dull thud and running towards the shore.

Bull tied the horses reins to a nearby tree and made his way towards Kara, who was now sitting on a large rock and staring out into the distance, joining her.

“The ocean always made me feel better,” Kara said without looking away, her voice wistful. “When I was young, my mother would take me to the beach whenever she and my father would fight. I knew what was going on, I wasn’t so innocent to not recognize that she did it more to get away from him than to keep me safe or something like that; but it was a little of the latter still. I would go out as far as I could, until the water was at my neck, and just yell.”

Bull sat silently beside her while she opened up to him. Despite the melancholy tone of the memory her peaceful smile never fell from her lips.

“It listened to me when I felt as if I had no one to turn to. It lifted me up and washed everything away. The ocean is this huge, powerful, dangerous thing. It could have killed me at any moment, but it never did. I’ve always felt very close to it.”

Bull let the sea do some talking for a little while, the waves crashing like a lullaby from the earth, only speaking when he felt it was respectful to break the silence.

“This is where I was hired to join the inquisition,” he commented. “It wasn't so long ago, but it feels like everything has changed since then. A feeling I assume you understand pretty well.”

“Yea,” Kara laughed, though it sounded more like a huff. “Everything’s changed and I'm starting to finally come to grips with the fact that it’s never going back.”

Bull turned to look at Kara now, asking, “I’ve heard bits and pieces from the others, but never the whole story. Figure it’s best to go straight to the source.” Kara raised an eyebrow and he continued. “Where are you from, anyway. You make it sound like it’s so far away,b but it can’t be so far that you’ll never reach it, can it? The world isn’t that big.”

“Oh,” she said, taking a breath. “Well, that probably because i’ve only talked to a few people about it, but never everything. Though, Lavellan’s the only one who really understands I think. Even if she doesn’t know it yet.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” he pointed out.

“Heh, true. I guess it’s cause, I don’t know,” Kara paused. “It’s not very believable.”

Bull gave her an incredulous look. “There’s a giant hole in the sky. I think I'm ready to be open minded.”

She grinned at that. “I guess you’re right.” She took a deep breath and attempted to explain. “I’m from, I guess you could say, another universe; and much further in the future. A different reality, sort of parallel to this one.”

“How does that tie into you being appointed the Oracle of the Inquisition, then? Do you just know stuff or is it prophetic, like a dream?”

“No,” she said shaking her head. “Where I am from this world, everything here, is a game. Fiction. You’re all characters in a story, a story i’ve seen to the end more than once. I know everything that’s going to happen.”

“You know…” Bull trailed off, looking down at the dirt for a moment before looking back up at her. “You’re a being from another world who knows the future. Alright. I can take that.”

Kara smiled. Bull always kept things light, even when the subject was truly heavy.

“So, then what’s going on between you and the boss?” he asked.

“That’s the fun part,” she let out an exasperated sigh. “Lavellan is me; or I guess it’s better to say that I am Lavellan.”

Kara turned to Bull to find a thoroughly confused look on his face. She attempted to explain better.

“Remember how I said it was a game?” she asked and he nodded in response. “Well, she’s the main character of this story, and when people play the game they play as her. Well, not her exactly. Her character is customizable. She can be almost anything; male, female, elf, dwarf, human, qunari, mage rogue. You get the point. I designed her, the way she looks, even her name, I picked it all. That’s why we have the same name.”

Bull didn’t speak, he just stared at her, attempting to take it all in as she pushed on.

“It’s hard to be here. When I woke up here, at first I was excited. My old life wasn’t so great, and this world,” she held her arms out, gesturing around them. “This world is beautiful and rich and free. I had a second chance. I could truey be the main character of my own story!” she stopped then, her smile falling alongside her hands. “But I didn't take the Herald’s place, I just coexist with her.”

“What’s so wrong with that?”

“Nothing big, I guess. Something particularly pathetic.” Kara pulled her knees up and rested her chin on them, staring back towards the crashing waves.

“It has to do with the elf, doesn’t it. Solas?” he let out a huff when she flinched at the name. “Thought so. You love him, don’t you?”

She shrugged. “I’m not supposed to. He was a fictional character and I became infatuated, and I realized at the time how silly it was but that didn't stop it from aching. When I got here a little spark of hope ignited that I might have gotten my wish, but then…”

“Boss showed up?” he asked, finishing her sentence. 

She shrugged again. “Yea.”

“Rough,” Bull sighed, placing a comforting hand on her back. “It’ll be okay. It always works out somehow. And your friends will always be there for you. Okay?”

She nodded, smiling. She wasn't sure how, but Bull’s little pep talk made her feel better than she had in days. “Thanks, I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime.”

. . .

“What if something’s happened to them?” despite Kara’s voice being laced with anxiety, Krem and Bull didn't seem to be worried in the least. Instead, they were both much more concerned with the fact that she hadn’t finished her ale.

“No talking about them right now. Now is for drinking; you can always worry later. So drink!” Bull hit her glass with his own, knocking it a few inches closer to her and making her jump as some of its contents sloshed out and onto the table.

“But I can’t seem to think of anything else,” she groaned. “And besides, this stuff smells like tar.”

“It basically is tar,” Krem joked, clinking glasses with Bull and taking a swig. He let out a round of coughs before continuing. “Besides, it’s a decent distance to Redcliffe. They’ve not been gone so long as to start worrying. If anything happened Lelliana would have heard about I by now.”

“Ah, Krem. Why’d you have to go and say that,” Bull complained as Kara stood swiftly to leave, but Bull was both faster and stronger, grabbing her shoulder and pulling her back onto the bench. “You can go talk to Lelliana after you’ve finished your cup.” he said, not expecting that to ever happen, even he could barely drink the stuff.

Kara glared at her glass for a long while before taking a few quick breaths and putting it up to her lips, gulping down as much liquid as she could. 

“Whoa, slow down there,” Krem said through his laughter and reached across the table as if to pull the glass away; but she just leaned back.

“Hot damn,” Bull chimed in as she tipped the cup back as far as she could before letting out a long held choke of air, along with a coughing fit. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

Kara turned to the Iron Bull then, who was laughing at , what she assumed was, her expense. “And why’s that. You said I could go after I drank it. So I drank it.”

“It was less that you’d be allowed to go if you did, and more a question of if it were possible.”

Bull and Krem both were giggling like school girls and Kara didn’t quite understand why at first. Though about four seconds later she suddenly understood perfectly while also not understanding anything at all. Within the span of two breaths she went from completely sober to absolutely smashed. The whole room spun and she had to grip the table as to not fall backwards.

“Oh-ho, be careful there, girlie,” Bull playfully chastised, his hand catching her back.

“I wanna talk to Lelliana,” she insisted, though her ability to enunciate the words seemed impared. 

“We can talk to you tomorrow. Right now, I think I should help you get back to your room.” 

“Noooo,” Kara whined, though she didn’t resist as he picked her up to where she was sitting on his forearm and leaning against his chest.

He picked up his cup, following suit and chugging it; finishing it in much less time, though, and turning to Krem. “I’ll see you all tomorrow.” He grinned, the commander's most trusted waving at him as he left.

“Howcome you can walk after a whole glass but I can’t?” she asked as they stepped out into the cold, night air. Her voice petulant, as if she were being treated unfairly.

“Probably because I'm almost four times your size,” he said, laughing. “But don’t let my gait fool you, I'm still feeling it. You’re just a lightweight.”

“Am not,” she said into his shoulder.

Bull didn't argue but smiled instead, opening the door to her cabin and stepping inside. He laid her down gently in her bed and moved to close the shuttered windows as to keep the cold air out. As he made to leave he felt the cloth of his pants snag on something and turned to see Kara sitting up, her hand lightly grasping it.

“Stay?” she asked. 

While slightly confused, it wasn't like he had anything better to do, so he nodded, sitting on the bed at her side.

“Have you ever been in a serious relationship?” She asked.

The bluntness of the question was so unexpected it made Bull chuckle. “Yes,” he replied. “Why do you ask?”

“I dunno,” she said, leaning forward and resting her chin in her hands, propped up by her elbows. “You just don’t seem to be the ‘settle down’ type.”

“What do you mean by that?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“Like, you seem more like the ‘hit it and quit it’ type.” Kara realized suddenly how she must have sounded and attempted to correct herself, backpedaling. “I mean, not in a bad way or anything, just like, you seem more likely to be a friend with benefits type than a romantic. Does that make sense?”

“You have the strangest vocabulary,” he commented. “Most of the time it doesn’t seem true, but then other times when you talk it’s so easy to see that you’re from somewhere far away,” He said sounding more pensive than usual. “Is that a bad thing then, what you said?”

“Oh, no,” she insisted. “Just different. It means, like, to be in a physical relationship while being friends, not planning to get married or something. Just for fun. I’ve had them before.”

“Oh, have you?” he asked, genuinely amused. “ _You_ don’t seem like the type to be _that_ either.”

“Well, I definitely like real, long-term relationships. But since coming here i’ve been avoiding the idea; at least until I get this whole Solas thing under wraps. Till then I just have to find a way to survive the drought.” 

“The drought?” he asked, still utterly entertained.

“It’s just been a really long time since,” she trailed off, pausing a moment. “Since the last time I, you know.”

“Oh, I understand.” Bull crossed his arms and gave her a sly look. “What brought this up, by the way?”

“Um, well...” Kara blushed, looking down and fiddling with her fingers. “Like I said before, about knowing things, and having seen this story many times,” she attempted to explain. “So, in some of those times, I didn't have the main character go after Solas. Sometimes, for fun, I would pursue other characters. One’s who held some one my same interests in… this particular category.”

Bull was grinning ear to ear at this point while Kara was the colour of a ripe tomato. He chuckled and leaned forward, reaching for her chin and lifting it to look into her eyes.

“You know I consider you a friend, right?”

She nodded quickly.

“And you know that i’d do anything I could to help a friend, right?”

She paused this time, only nodding once, unsure of how to proceed or what to expect next.

“Kara,” he whispered her name, sending a shiver down her spine. “You only ever had to ask.” And with that he pulled her slowly closer until she could feel the rough skin of his chin and the surprisingly soft feel of his lips against hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know!
> 
> I'll put something a little juicier in the next chapter. And don't worry, it's not always gonna be so PG-13. Especially later. (and also, not just with Bull, but also you-know-who)
> 
> I'm a veteran when it comes to smut. Been writing it since I was a fucking tween. Like, back when they were categorized with the citrus scale. ie: Lemons and Limes. lol


	7. Mage in the Night

The world was spinning. She had been starting her mornings this way far too often lately.

Kara felt like she might throw up at any moment, but at the same time she felt like she might not; it was awful. She made a move to get up but when she was only inches off the bed she fell back down. 

Her body felt like it was made of jello. It was as though her muscles were refusing to follow orders. It took quite a bit of thought and determination just to sit up. She massaged her arms, her whole body was sore and it didn’t really help, but it did make her realize that she wasn't wearing her pajamas. They had sleeves. She looked down to find herself stark naked and her mind began to reel. That’s when the door opened.

Bull walked in without reserve, a tray of food in his hand, and closed the door behind him. He placed the tray on the table and turned to see Kara sitting up, desperately trying to cover herself; it made him chuckle.

“Sore?” he asked when she flinched from the swift movement. “I can understand. Figured you might not want to be out and about right away so I brought your breakfast.”

“Wait...” Kara stared at the food, her gaze slowly shifting up to the qunari and the reality of the situation set in. 

Little bits of the previous night flitted back to her. Kissing and biting, hands and lips everywhere, she could still feel his grip on her waist. In almost foolish disbelief, she lifted the blanket to see leftover marks on her hips, red handprints that were far too large to be her own.

“Oh, my god,” she gasped. “We-? Last night?” 

“Yeah, you were pretty insistent in fact,” he commented jokingly. “You’re not upset are you?”

The genuinely concerned tone of his voice touched her. “No,” she rushed out. “No, I'm not upset about it. It’s just that, well, I honestly didn't expect it I guess.”

"That’s understandable.” Bull took a bowl of cut fruit and walked over to hand it to Kara, who took it without protest, though her face remained frigid. “What’s the matter then?”

“Well, I barely remember any of it,” she explained.

“Probably the alcohol,” he said with a chuckle.

Kara carefully ate some of the fruit and when it didn’t upset her stomach she took a few more pieces. “Remind me not to drink with you anymore. I am so hungover.”

“Here,” he said, walking to the table and picking up a small bottle. He gave it to Kara, who looked at it puzzled. “Drink it.”

She gave him a look and he huffed. 

“It’s just a potion. It’ll make you feel better.”

Kara did as she was told, although hesitantly so, pulling the cork from the bottle and downing it all in one gulp. It took a few moments but when the concoction finally set in, she felt it. Her nausea was gone and even her headache was nothing but a dull throb then.

“Wow, this stuff is amazing.” Kara turned the bottle over and she immediately felt silly, it didn't have anything written on it like she expected. Did she expect it to say “potion” on it or something. She picked up her fruit bowl from her lap in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. 

“It’s thanks to that little concoction that we can stay on the battlefield as long as we do,” Bull explained. “So you really don’t remember anything?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Uh-uh,” Kara answered, popping a few grapes in her mouth. 

“Would you like me to refresh your memory?” he asked, his voice deeper than usual.

Kara turned to him then, a little taken aback by his comment. He had a look in his eye that made a shiver run down her spine; a good shiver. 

_Too_ good.

"Um, maybe,” she whimpered. 

“Oh, no. No maybe’s. I want to hear you say ‘yes’.” Bull moved closer to her, putting his hand on the other side of the bed, holding himself, leaning, over her and smiled.

She shut her eyes tightly, cursing herself. What was wrong with her? Why did this always happen? She’d had sex before, and even then, it wasn't like she needed to be _in love_ to do it. She’d had casual relationships with people before; and yet this always happened at first. It was like, with each new person she would lose all her confidence and revert back to virgin mentality. 

“But what about Solas?” the words fell from her mouth without her permission. She was just saying whatever she could so avoid the immediate situation.

“What about him?”

“I mean, you know how I feel about him,” she looked up at him for a second but couldn’t keep his gaze, instead she shyly looked down at her hands. “Isn’t that bad? Like, a turn off?”

He laughed a little louder than she would have expected, startling her.

“I don’t care who you want or love. I didn't ask you if you wanted to be in a relationship with me. I asked if you wanted _me _.” He waited, his eyes never leaving her face. She could feel them boring into her.__

__“Here, let’s make this easier,” he tried. “Are you attracted to me?”_ _

__She still couldn’t bring herself to speak, but she did nod, and did so a little harder than she’d intended._ _

__“Alright, see? Progress.” Bull repositioned himself,putting all his weight on the arm on the opposite side of her than where he was sitting, instead raising that hand to hold her chin and make her look at him. “Do you wish you remembered what happened last night?” he asked._ _

__She could barely move, but she nodded again. When she tried to look away she found his grip to be substantially stronger than her._ _

__“Good. Now, last question.” He paused, building tension. “You know who I am, what I'm like, right?”_ _

__She nodded._ _

__“Do you want that, what I like, what I'm into?”_ _

__She began to nod again but he held her head firmly._ _

__“No, no nodding this time. I want you to tell me. Tell me you want me the way I want to.”_ _

__With cheeks as warm as they were red, Kara forced herself to find her voice, closing her eyes and pushing out a quiet, “Yes, I want what you like.”_ _

__“Good girl,” he said, letting go of her chin. “Can’t remember anything,” he tisked at her. “We’ll just have to reconcile that, won’t we?” he said, his voice low._ _

__He pressed lightly against her chest and she let him guide her onto her back, his eyes locked onto hers the entire time. She was captured by them until he smiled again and she lost any semblance of confidence she had just regained, her hands moving up and covering her face; but they didn't remain there for long._ _

__Quite suddenly, Bull had taken both of her wrists in one hand and swiftly pulled them up, slamming them onto the pillow above her head. She gasped, shocked and, honestly, aroused by the aggressive movement._ _

__“No hiding. I want to see your face,” he commanded, his hand holding hers tightly and unrelenting as he used the other one to hastily open the front of her blouse and revealing her breasts. Without a moment to spare, he was upon them, nipping at her skin and pulling little yips and moans from her; all the while too distracted to notice his hand making its way down between them._ _

__It wasn't until he had already moved aside her underwear and was pushing a finger into her that she even realized what he was doing. Startled, she twitched at the intrusion, her back arching. Bull grinned, pleased with her violent reaction and slowly pulled himself back out, pulling another groan from her._ _

__“You know, last night, this was as far as we went. You were tired and just needed a bit of a release.” His tone was playful while he watched her squirming beneath him. “Do you want to go further today?”_ _

__“Y-yes,” she gasped out, “Please.”_ _

__While he very much enjoyed teasing her like this, he really wanted to see more. He picked up the pace then, moving from one finger to two. If there was any way they were going to actually have sex, she would need a little warm up first._ _

__It wasn’t long after that when he could feel her shifting, tightening around his fingers. He grinned, gleefully pulling her erratic moans out as they grew louder. Her back arched up off the bed, her orgasm washing over her in waves and making her head spin._ _

__It was to be the first of many._ _

__. . ._ _

__“Kara.” A voice rang out in the darkness._ _

__Kara turned, desperately searching for the owner of the voice but no matter where she looked all she was met with was black._ _

__“Kara,” the voice called out again, this time much closer, as if spoken directly into her ear._ _

__She spun around to find Solas standing behind her, a soft smile on his face. He reached for her, arms open and Kara moved towards him, gladly welcoming the embrace, but as soon as she was within reach the scene changed._ _

__Solas grabbed her arms painfully, holding her in front of him._ _

__“Why?” he asked, his voice insistent._ _

__When she looked back to his face she became shocked into silence. His eyes were bloodshot; his face was cracked, red light emanating from them, and surrounding his head was a cloud of red. Crystals grew from his skin, the same red as the rest, iridescent and growing steadily. Red lyrium. Kara could feel the panic rising in her throat as he spoke to her once more._ _

__“Why did you let us go there?” he asked, grabbing her attention._ _

__She looked up to see the lyrium now growing from his face as well, slowly encompassing it. The crystals making their way swiftly down his arms and towards her. She screamed then, pulling away and breaking his vice like grip on her and falling to the ground just in time for the cancerous stone to reach his wrists. Kara stayed there, trembling, as the last of his face was covered, the only thing left of him being his hand. Still reaching towards her._ _

__“Why did you let us die?” his voice echoed again as his hand was slowly absorbed and disappeared. “Why…”_ _

__Desperate to escape the horrid vision, Kara clawed at the ground in an attempt to find something, anything to separate her from the glowing red mass in front of her; to escape its denunciations. Her hands found purchase and she gripped it with all her might, pulling on the soft object and pushing herself as far from the abomination as she could, but as she took one last glance back at it she found herself falling and before she could react in any way to save herself she felt the hard ground as she landed harshly on it._ _

__Eyes shut tight and thrashing, Kara fought for her life, for her sanity. She could feel its grasp on her and she kicked and squirmed, but it was stronger._ _

__“Kara!” a voice called out._ _

__It was not the same voice from before and it confused her._ _

__“Kara, stop!” it bellowed, the hands finally catching her and holding her still. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Everything’s fine.”_ _

__Kara opened her eyes then. It took a few moments for her to come to terms with the fact that she was awake and for reality to set back in. She was on the floor next to her bed, blankets tangled around her legs. Iron Bull was on the ground beside her, her wrists locked in his fists. She looked up at his face with wide and confused eyes. He looked so concerned, it really touched her._ _

__“It’s okay,” he said again. “It was just a nightmare. You’re here, you’re safe.”_ _

___Safe._ _ _

__He was right; she was safe, and she _felt_ safe. For the first time in her life she found somewhere that she could be vulnerable._ _


	8. The Soon to Come

The morning light streamed through the window next to the bed, waking Kara in a pleasant manner. She smiled, tossing the covers away and getting out of bed with a hearty stretch. She dressed quietly, not wanting to disturb the still sleeping Bull, and walked towards her shoes as she caught a glance out the window and stopped in her tracks.

Iron Bull woke suddenly to the sound of Kara screaming loudly and running outside, the door slamming behind her. He was up and at the door in seconds, adrenaline pumping.

“What’s wrong!?” he asked as he pushed his way out to find Kara spinning and hopping around in the snow.

“It’s snowing!” Kara yelled when she saw him, holding her hands out towards him as if to show him the snow in her hands that was now more of a puddle.

Taking a deep breath, Bull leaned against the door frame and closed his eyes, pinching his nose. “You scared me half to death,” he chastised. “I woke up to you screaming. I thought we were being attacked or something.”

“Oh,” she stilled, realizing how his complaint made sense. “Yea, I guess I got a little excited.”

He turned to her then, a playfully questioning smirk. “What got you all excited?”

“The snow! It’s snowing!”She explained again, taking a big handful of it and tossing it his way. 

Bull expertly dodged her first throw and blocking a second with his hand. “I can see that.”

Kara let the snowball in her hand roll to the ground as she looked up at the sky and smiled calmly. “I’ve only ever seen snow one time, when I was much younger.”

Bull raised an incredulous eyebrow. “There’s been snow for weeks,” he commented.

“Yea, but it hadn’t snowed like this. I’ve never seen snow fall.” She closed her eyes and basked in the moment. “It’s kinda amazing.”

Her thoughts were cut off suddenly as a cold, wet projectile smacked into the side of her head and she screamed. After smacking at the spot, Kara looked at Iron Bull, smiling in disbelief. 

“Did you throw that at me?” she asked.

He didn't answer, instead he just threw another one at her, which barely missed as she ducked to arm herself again, quickly forming and throwing her own back. The laughter and squeals surely could be heard all the way across the camp, but Kara couldn’t care less. She was having fun.

“Okay, truce, truce!” Bull called out, hands on his knees laughing. 

“So are we calling it my favour then?” she asked.

“What? You only hit me two or three times,” Bull said, straightening and walking towards her. “Look at you, you’re soaked.”

As if her body hadn’t realized it until that moment, a violent shiver rolled over her, the cold biting at her. “Yea, I should change huh?” she agreed, walking past him and into her room.

A look of disbelief came over Bull as he watched her pass. “Are you barefoot?” he asked roughly.

“Oh,” she said with a laugh. “Yea, I guess so.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Bull chided her through the door. 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing!” She yelled back. Bull just shook his head. 

It didn’t take long for her to change and come back outside, with shoes on this time. She was wearing one of her few pairs of pants. They were warmer than most of her skirts and she didn't want to have to worry about getting the hem wet or dirty in the now piling up snow. 

“Leaving your hair down?” Bull asked as she joined him.

“Oh,” she reached up and touched her hair. This was the first time she hadn’t put her hair up, be it in a fancy bun or even just a ponytail. She hadn’t realized until he’d pointed it out. “Yea, its still wet, so I figured I’d let it air-dry.”

“Well, it looks nice,” he said, turning to leave. 

While his back was turned, Kara scooped up another handful of snow, packing it into a little ball and raising her hand to throw. She reared back just as a bell rang through the camp. Bull turned towards the sound and grinned.

“Sounds like they’re back,” he said, turning to look at Kara who was staring, agape, towards the bridge and saw the snowball in her hand. “Were you going to throw that at me while my back was turned?” he asked in fake shock.

Kara didn't answer, instead letting the ball fall from her hands and running towards the bridge. Bull smiled as he watched her excitedly make her way to meet them. She reached the bridge and looked around, not seeing anything, and turned to one of the soldiers there. 

“Hey, what was that bell for?” she asked, hopeful. “Are they back?”

The guard smiled. “Yes, they just arrived.”

“Where!?” she shouted a little louder than intended.

“They went to the hall I believe,” he replied through his laughter.

“Thank you!” She shouted, not waiting for him to even finish his sentence before darting off. 

Kara reached the hall, taking a moment to catch her breath before opening the door and running inside. She scanned the room and the group turned to see who had entered, Sera and Kara locking eyes immediately. 

“You’re back!” Kara yelled, running towards her.

“Hey, tadwinks!” she cheered, holding her arms open for Kara, who proceeded to fall into them.

“Oh, man. You’re safe, you’re all okay!” she cheered.

“Yea, don’t think my nerves’ll ever grow back. She’s the only person i’d let lead me straight into a city full of nothing but mages. Ugh,” she shivered. “It’s just ‘cause she pretty, innit?”

“Sounds about right,” she said with a giggle. It was then that Kara remembered they had a bit of an audience. She pulled back shyly and looked around at the group, her eyes lingering on Solas a little longer than the rest before glancing to the ground.

“Is this the girl you were talking about?” came a voice from behind the group.

“Oh, yes,” Cassandra began, stepping out of the man’s way and letting him through the wall that was people. “This is Kara, she is the oracle we mentioned.”

The man placed his hand on his stomach and bowed. “Pleasure,” he said, his voice like velvet. 

Kara dipped her head in return. “It’s nice to finally meet you Dorian,” she looked up from her bow to catch a surprised look in his eye and decided to milk it a little further. “I was wondering when you’d join us.”

Cassandra wore a smirk as Dorian turned to her in disbelief before looking back at Kara again. “Fascinating.”

“Yea,” Sera wrapped an arm around Kara’s shoulders and roughly pulled her to her side, laughing. “She’s something, alright.”

“I’m surprised at you Sera,” Dorian said, crossing his arms. 

“Surprised at what?” Sera squinted at him, her voice snarky. 

“I figured that, from the way you and Solas talk and all the comments you were making, that you weren’t that fond of elves.”

“Elves?” her mouth twisted in disgust.

“I’m not an elf,” Kara commented, tucking her hair behind her ears to reveal their shape.

“Oh?” His eyes widened in surprise. “I see that now.”

“Well,” Solas interrupted, “As fun as this all is, there is research I must attend to.”

“Alright,” Cassandra waved him off. “In the meantime, Sera, Kara, would you mind showing Dorian where he can reside?”

“Sure,” Kara said with a smile. Sera just sneered and started off ahead of the two, muttering something about ‘mages’.

“So,” he asked as he let her guide him. “You’re an oracle, are you?”

“Something like that.”

“How does it work, if you don’t mind me asking?” he asked but not giving her the chance to answer. “Have you always had the ability, or is it magic? Are you a mage? You don’t look like a mage.”

“I wasn’t what you thought I looked like before? Should you continue to assume?” She teased and giggled at his enthusiasm. “But no, I'm not a mage; and it’s less of an ability and more just knowledge.”

“Interesting,” he said under his breath, rubbing his chin with his thumb. “Knowledge, is it? So you just know things?”

“Yea, its not like I have visions or anything. It’s hard to explain.”

“I understand. Perhaps I will learn more of it the longer we are together. I imagine that we will see a lot of each other now that I have joined the inquisition.” The two stopped as they reached the cabin that was to be his. 

“I would hope so,” she said, looking up at him through her lashes. “I’d like that.”

“I don’t know much of you yet, but I think I may as well.” He gave her a sultry smirk that broke Kara’s poker face and she giggled, Dorian soon following suit. 

“Can I ask you something?” she asked as he was opening the door to his room. 

He paused, turning to her. “Of course. What can I do for you?”

“You seriously thought I was an elf earlier?” 

“Yes,” he chuckled. “I mistook your smaller frame for that of an elf’s. You’re very petite for a human, and the usual giveaway of the ears was impeded by your curtain of hair. I hope I didn’t offend you.”

“Not at all,” she insisted, throwing her hands up. “It was the opposite, actually. I’m flattered. I always wanted to be an elf.”

“An interesting perspective,” he said with a grin. “Though I must admit, despite your elfish physique, your particular,” he paused, “endowment, should have given you away.”

“Oh!” looking down at herself. It took a second, but she understood his comment. “Haha, yea. I’m pretty happy with them.”

“Most elves are not so top heavy.” 

Kara laughed, waving at Dorian, who winked in return as he shut his door behind him. 

Now that Dorian was with them there was only one more member of the group missing; one she wasn't very keen on meeting. It wasn't that she didn’t like Cole, but she wasn’t too excited for the comings along with his arrival. 

The snowfall had slowed, instead making the world look like there was glitter in the wind, sparkling. Kara looked up at the sky with a frown. She had been so excited for the snow earlier, but now it was an omen of times to come. She knew she should warn the others, but was unsure on how to do such a thing while not messing around with the timeline too much. 

When the snow stops and the mountain is buried, the Herald would go to close the breach and, in doing so, trigger one of the most devastating events that the inquisition would see, and it scared her. She had come to know the people who lived there, the ones who were unimportant in her old life. Just nameless faces and placeholders who were now people with personalities and hopes of their own. 

While she knew what was in store for the others, she couldn’t say the same for herself. Instead of dwelling on it she attempted to turn her mind to other things. Maybe Bull was right and she should talk to Solas about her trips into the fade, or at the very least see if he could teach her enough about it that she could come to answer her own questions. 

Whatever she was going to do, she needed to decide soon.


	9. On The Edge Of Tragedy

The sound of her own heartbeat in her ears made it hard for her to hear the conversation she was eavesdropping in on. Lavellan was talking to Solas about the events back in Redcliffe. She stayed as quiet as she could as she sat in the snow against the cabin, listening to the familiar words

“So we have gained the mages. Excellent. They should be able to seal the breach. You are certain you experienced time travel? Could it have been an illusion, a trick of the Fade?”

“Dorian was sure, as impossible as it seems.”

“What an amazing gift. It is vital the Inquisition succeed, to avoid the future you witnessed.”

“Most people have trouble wrapping their head around the idea.” Her tone was playful.

“I'm not most people.” he replied with the same blithe as she. It hit Kara harder than she’d thought it would, like a wave crashing over her, pulling her underwater. It was hard to breathe. 

“I appreciate you talking with me about it. And... not being most people.”

“If you wish me to speak of orlesian fashion, I may be at a loss. Magical surprises I can handle. Speaking of which, you should ready yourself.”

“For?” she sounded honestly curious.

“This Elder One,” Solas explained. “You have now interfered with his plans twice. Once at the Temple of Sacred Ashes and now again at Redcliffe. A being who aspires to godhood is unlikely to ignore such an affront.”

“I’m sure that we’ll be able to handle it. Between Cullen’s men and now the mages, I think we’ll be prepared when the time comes.”

Solas made a sound of understanding and Kara could hear the crunch of her steps as Lavellan walked away. It took a minute but with a few deep breaths she managed to build up the courage to stand up and walk around the corner, revealing herself.

“Ah, child of the fade,” Solas looked pleased to see her. “What can I do for you?”

“I already told you,” She chuckled. “I’m not a kid.”

“Of course,” he amended. “I apologize. I meant it only as an idiom.”

“It’s okay,” Kara smiled.

“Now, as I asked before, what is it that I can do for you?”

The patient smile on his face gave her a bittersweet feeling.

“I was wondering if you could teach me about some things?”

Solas was caught off guard, smiling and shifting his weight. “I don’t see why not. The sharing of knowledge is invaluable. What would you like to know?”

“Well, I’m actually very curious about elvish history and culture,” she admitted shyly. 

“Are you now?” he asked, a little bewildered. 

“Is it that surprising?” 

“It is not common for others, especially humans, to be interested the elvish culture. I will admit I am pleasantly surprised.”

Kara couldn’t help but smile. She knew that Solas valued and appreciated when people sought knowledge and to see him pleased with her made her just brimming with joy. Her skin tingled and she felt absolutely jubilant.

“So, what is it that you would like to know? Do you have any prior knowledge on the subject?”

She nodded, admittedly, a little more enthusiastic than she had intended. “I know bits and pieces. I know about some of the gods and goddesses, I know a little about dalish culture, I know about the differences between them and city elves, and I know a little elvish.”

Solas’s eyes widened. “I will admit, I am speechless. You exceed expectations.” Solas crossed his arms and gave her an impish grin. “Where did you learn elvish? I was under the assumption that you weren’t from this world.”

“I taught myself,” she answered without skipping a beat. “I don’t really know much on sentence structure or grammar in general, but I think my vocabulary is pretty good.”

Solas stood, the shocked look on his face not fading. “You do not cease to amaze me,” he admitted. “You seem to be full of absolutely replete with surprises.” He paused, the two just smiling at each other for a moment before he straightened and began again. “Well, I believe it would be easiest to go a little further into the language before attempting to go into lore. It will ease the process if the need to translate isn’t an issue.” 

Without hesitation he began lecturing and Kara greedily took in anything and everything he said, asking questions when needed. While she didn't notice it at the time, speaking with Solas became significantly easier the more they talked. 

The lessons went on almost every day after. Anytime that Solas was free from his duties to the inquisition he was more than willing to invite Kara to be his pupil. It quickly became apparent that the deeper into things they got, the less it could be such an informal thing. Kara began keeping notes, filling pages with his words just as fast as he could say them. 

Sometimes they would meet in the main hall, others they would sit outside in the yard, and on rare occasions she was even invited into his cabin. She would sit at the table in the corner of the room, taking notes, as Solas paced back and forth, answering any questions she might have.

Usually, Kara had no problem keeping focus during their lessons. Not only did she find great delight in watching him be so passionate, she was just as fascinated with the subject matter. But one evening, Kara found it more difficult than ever to keep her mind on track, instead staring out the window and through the snowfall at the mountain in the distance. Solas noticed her lack of enthusiasm before too long, switching effortlessly from lecture mode into a more caring and curious side of himself. 

“Is there something plaguing you tonight?” he crossed the room, sitting at the table across from her.

“What?” she looked back at him, swiftly taken from her musings. “Oh, I mean, kind of, sorry. I’ll pay attention.”

Perturbed, Solas pushed the issue. “No, something is obviously tormenting you. My lessons can wait.” He reached across the table then and rested his hands over one of hers.

It felt as though a jolt of electricity shot down her spine, making it even more difficult to calm the storm in her mind enough to form reasonable sentences.

“It’s nothing, really,” she insisted and pulled her hand from his, gathering her things and holding them tightly to her chest. “I’m probably just tired. I’m gonna go back to my room, get some sleep.” 

Solas didn't protest as she hurriedly left, the last thing she heard as the door shut was him softly saying, “erathe son,” or sleep well. She made her way back to her room and let her books fall from her arms, clattering across her table, the sudden silence when they settled unnerving. Luckily it didn't last long; only a minute or so passed before the door opened again to reveal Iron Bull.

“You’re out and about pretty late,” he commented, seeing her things spread out in front of her. “Out studying? A little late, isn’t it? You didn’t finally get in his tights?” Halfway through his questioning his expression changed from confusion to excited curiosity.

“No, nothing happened,” she explained as a smile slowly grew on her lips; she was already feeling better with him there. 

“Too bad, he’s missing out,” Bull teased for a moment before getting a little more serious. “You’re okay though, right? You looked a little upset before.”

Kara smiled, her chest growing warm. His concern, was touching and unexpected. “Its nothing,” she insisted. “Just frazzled from all the studying.”

“You’re really into all this elf stuff, huh?” he asked, picking up one of her notebooks and flipping through the pages. 

“I always have been. I don’t really know how to explain it, but I just really liked elves.”

Iron bull laughed, “I think you might just really like _one_ elf,” he teased.

“Oh, hush!” she chided, snatching the book from his hands and playfully hitting him with it.

Bull’s laughter only grew at her fake anger, letting her go about it for a bit before grabbing her up by her wrists and rendering her helpless. She gasped loudly in excited surprise, her grip loosening and the book falling to the floor as she stared up at him. The blush steadily growing on her cheeks coinciding with her little noises made Bull happy. 

“I think I might know how to take your mind off of whatever is troubling you,” he said to her in a low, soothing voice that did anything but soothe her. “Would you like that?”

She opened her mouth but found herself unable to do more than reveal a shuttering breath. Instead, she nodded, the smile resting on her lips growing in tandem with Bull’s mischievous expression as he picked her up and threw her onto her bed.

. . .

As quickly as she had shut them, Kara’s eyes opened and she found herself, once again, in the fade. She was alone. And while the hidden eden that she had created for herself was indeed, beautiful it was also lonely. She walked over to the waterfall, stretching out her arms and letting the water wash over her hands and up her arms. It didn't take long before Solas found his way back to meet her again, walking slowly up to her.

“Da'lin or fade.” The words fell from his mouth like smoke. 

“Andaran atish’an, ma' mana elgar ghi'lan,” she said after turning to face him, replying in the tongue as well.

Solas smirked at the title bestowed upon him, closing the distance before speaking.

“You’re learning quickly,” he commented.

“I study outside of our lessons as well, you know,” she teased, though her smile was fleeting.

“Will you tell me this secret?” he asked.

She became perplexed, furrowing her brow. “What secret?”

“Tonight, I know you said nothing was wrong but I cannot believe that after seeing that look in your eye. Even now you hold a sense of dread upon you,” he explained, his voice sounding almost desperate. “Will you concede to me what agonizes you, so?”

She sighed, seemingly bracing herself before looking at him confidently and speaking. 

“Solas, do you consider me a friend as I do of you?”

“Yes,” he answered, though confused at why she might ask such a thing.

“I consider you my friend as well, which is why you must trust me when I say this.” She took another moment to collect herself, closing her eyes. “I haven’t decided whether or not I should tell you what’s happening; what is wrong. But I can tell you this. I am not who you think I am; and while you think I can do what I do because of magic, I assure you, it’s another matter entirely. 

“It’s been snowing quite a bit lately,” she sighed, looking to the sky.

“Yes,” he replied, her last statement seemingly not connected to any of her previous statements. “And what would become of that?”

“When it stops snowing,” she said deftly. “I will decide by then whether or not I will tell you everything.”

“What could be so unique as the weather as to decide if you will reveal your secrets or not?” Solas stepped towards her, hands up. He was both frustrated and worried, he didn't like the feeling.

“It doesn’t matter now. Just know that Ill decide by then.”

Solas silently stared at Kara as she stepped closer to the waterfall, letting the water run over it again. It spilled down her arm to her elbow, dripping and wetting her gossamer dress. Her voice sounded so grave as she spoke of things to come that seemingly couldn’t be revealed. 

“So I am to leave this place with no more knowledge than that something is to happen, something assumingly bad, and be happy with that?” his voice came out a little angrier than he’d intended, but when she didn't react negatively he didn’t correct himself. 

“I understand your frustration,” she tried. Finally she conceded. “I will tell you this then.”

She turned to face him, looking him straight in the eye. Solas didn’t flinch as her gaze bore into him. He had asked for this, so he would not turn from it now.

“When one reaches the peak, there is inevitably a drop yet to come.”

Her cryptic words puzzled him, but before he could answer she said one last thing.

“Just as things seem to be at their best,” she paused, outstretching her arms to either side of her. “That is when everything shall fall.” 

And with the end of her statement, she shut her eyes, leaning back until she was no longer standing, but falling towards the falls and the rocky shore below. She could hears Solas cry out, but she ignored it as best she could. While he knew the fade, Kara was just a guest in its realm. He might know how to pop in and out whenever he pleased, but she had found that the only way to escape for her was to wake up. So, either she would leave whenever she was awoken from her night's sleep or she would have to shock herself awake, falling seemingly being the easiest.

The world was fuzzy for a moment as she opened her eyes. Once everything had returned to focus she turned to look out the window. It was still dark out, but that wasn't what she was concerned with. Even in the dark, the moonlight glistened off the snowflakes falling in the dark. As much as the sight made her relieved, it also worried her. 

The mountain in the distance was almost covered, she'd noticed so earlier. Time was running short. Before long, it would happen. Before long, _he_ would return.


	10. Pouvoir et Liberté

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I took forever to update this, so here's an extra long chapter of cute just before shit will start to hit the fan for the first (and surely not the last) time.
> 
> Enjoy!

She never fell back asleep.

When the light streamed through her window she just held up a hand to block her eyes. It wasn't long then until Bull woke up as well, turning to her with a smile.

“Sore?” he asked.

“Not really,” she lied.

He laughed under his breath, giving he a smirk before getting up and stretching. “How is it that you managed to get such a big bed?” he asked, pulling his arm and twisting his torso. “Mine barely fits me, but yours fits both of us.”

“I’m not sure, you’d have to ask Lavellan about that,” she replied, perching herself on an elbow. 

“Well, it’s bullshit,” he scoffed, but she could tell he wasn’t actually mad. “Preferential treatment.”

He turned to Kara, pausing to see if she had a retort and when she didn't he laughed.

“Who could tell that face ‘no’ though, right?” His grin was so sincere, it made her smile. He always managed to make her smile, it was really nice.

He finished getting dressed, all the while Kara just sat in bed watching, a little smile perched on her lips. When he’d finished and gathered all his things he turned to her, pacing two fingers on his forehead in a salute. 

“I’ll catch you later, okay?” 

She nodded and he left, letting the door swing slowly back into place behind him. She pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them as she thought over the events of the previous night. This was all starting to become too much for her. She wasn't sure if she could keep going like this, Iron Bull or no Iron Bull.

The moment of tranquility ended with a bang as someone threw her door open so hard that it swung until it hit the wall, startling Kara. She jumped, looking up to see Sera standing in the doorway, her face almost frantic.

“What!? Why!?” Sera huffed, pointing back behind her. “Was he here!? HE just left! I saw it!”

“Sera, what are you on about?”

“Did I just see Bull leave your room at the arse crack of dawn!?” 

“Okay, you’re starting to make sense,” Kara said with a smirk. “But yea, that’s right. Why? You seem quite bothered by it.”

“Well _yea_ ,” she said snidely. “That’s petty fucking weird, right?”

“Okay, you’re not making sense again,” Kara said, furrowing her bow. “And shut the door, its freezing!”

Sera stepped inside then, making sure the door shut properly behind her, getting a running start before jumping onto the bed, sending the blankets and pillows flying. “Ah!” she screamed“And you’re in your knickers!”

“What of it?” she asked, starting to feel the embarrassment. 

“You two aren’t,” she began, stopping to gasp and throw her hand over her mouth. “No!”

“Oh, shut up!” Kara yelled, hitting her with a pillow. 

Sera didn't dodge the fist swing but managed to for the second, grabbing her own pillow before there was a third and taking a swing, herself. “I can’t believe you! Ah! That’s flippin’ crazy!” she screamed, the two stopping after a few more hits.

Kara fell back onto the bed, pillow over her face. “It’s not that weird is it?” she asked, muffled.

“What’chya sayin? I can’t hear you under there ya twat,” Sera said, picking up the pillow and holding it, hovering above Kara’s face.

“I said it’s not that weird is it?” she repeated. “I mean, it’s not like it’s either of our first times. Right?”

“That’s not the point!” Sera yelled, dropping the pillow back onto her.

Kara pushed it away and onto the floor, ginning ear to ear at this point. “Then what is the point?” she asked. “It’s not because he’s Qunari is it? I thought you liked the Qunari?”

“Of course not!” she chided and crossed her arms. “And I like Qunari women, not men. Honestly, I think I like Qunari men even less, for obvious reasons.” 

Sera’s eyes snapped open again. “The obvious reasons!” she shouted.

“Well, I meant the women,” Kara tried, but Sera ignored her.

“Not that!” she gripped Kara’s thigh and began to shake her. “The other thing! The obvious reason!”

“Wha-ah!” she tried to right herself, but continued. “What ‘obvious reason’!? It’s not obvious to me… Obviously?” She stuttered, not being able to come up with another word.

“You’re even tinier than I am!” she said, smacking her hip. 

“Hey, you saying I don’t have a butt?” she asked.

“What? No!” She said, smacking her hip again. “Where does it all go!? I mean-!” she stopped, waving her hands in front of her. “Nevermind! I don’t want to know that after all!”

Kara laughed, throwing her am over her face. Sera settled next to her, bumping her hip against Kara’s. “Still, though. Weird. Bit early for that kinda thing, innit?”

“Don’t be silly, Sera.” she swatted at her. “He was only leaving. That all happened last night.”

“No,” she replied, sounding honestly confused. “He stayed the whole night?”

“Yea?” She said, her tone questioning. “The last few, actually. Why?”

“Kara,” Sera moved closer to her, holding herself with her arms and giving Kara a serious look. “Bull doesn’t ‘stay the night’. Not ever I think?”

“Oh,” she said, finally understanding. Her cheeks turned red and she just stared up at the ceiling. 

“Look at you! Red as a beet, you are!” Sera fell into a fit of giggles, holding her stomach and falling over, her head landing on the pillow next to her and taking deep breaths. “Nice knickers though,” she said as she snapped her bra strap. 

“Hey!” Kara’s hand instinctively flew up to her shoulder.

“Weird though. Never seen anything like it.” She sat quiet for a moment before leaping straight out of the bed with a yelp.

“What now!?” Kara asked.

“Oh, gross!” she squirmed, brushing off some invisible substance. “You two, in this bed, ah! I was just sitting on it!

Kara burst out into laughter then. Her stomach began to hurt but she didn't stop, not even when Sera commanded her to stop, that it wasn't funny. She couldn’t help herself.

. . .

“Cullen’s a cute one, isn’t he?” Kara asked, 

“Yeah, but he’s as straight laced as they come.”

Kara scoffed at Bull’s comment, looking up from the lanyard she had been weaving. “Oh yea? I thought you didn’t talk to him very much.

“I don’t. Typically one of us is busy whenever the other is not. Just the nature of our work. Besides, I don’t have to know him to know he’s a doctrinal goody-two-shoes. He’s ex-Templar. Just look at him, hasn’t seen battle in months and he’s still wearing his armour. I haven’t seen battle in less than a day and I’m basically wearing pajamas.”

“Now that you mention it, I don’t think I've ever seen him our of armour.”

“Doubt anyone has in a long time, if at all,” Bull said, laughing heartily at his own joke.

“I’m sure he has,” she chided. “I mean, look at him. Golden hair like that? He’s bound to have a few fangirls. I’m sure he’s indulged himself at least once or twice.”

“You think?” Bull asked.

“I dunno,” came a voice from behind them and they both turned to Krem who was rubbing his chin. “He doesn’t seem like the hit-it-and-quit-it type. I bet there’s gotta be some emotion there to get his feathers ruffled.”

“I could see that,” Bull agreed. “Lelliana on the other hand, I bet she’s had her fair share of late nights; even if just to manipulate someone or a situation. She’s ready to do whatever it takes. Bet she’s good at it too.”

“What about Cassandra,” Kara asked, fully invested in this conversation now.

“The seeker?” he asked. “I doubt it. Maybe once, a long time ago, but she’s holding up too strong a front to not be squishy underneath.”

“Okay then, what about Josephine?”

“Oh, _definitely_ a virgin. There’s no way that pretty noble girl has done anything even remotely dangerous,” he laughed as he spoke.

“You sure?” Kara asked. “She used to be a bard, you know?”

“Josephine?” Bull looked astonished. “You’re fucking with me. That’s crazy. Alright, maybe I misjudged her,” he admitted, crossing her arms. 

“There’s no way that Dorian and Vivienne are virgins,” Kara stated.

“Yea, they’re both a little too confident for it, and Vivienne is straight up scary.”

“And Varric definitely isn’t either. Have you seen all his shirts? I don’t think a single one closes all the way up,” Kara said, motioning to her chest.

Bull gave her a funny look and she drew back a little, holding her hands in the air.

“Hey, I’m not complaining, I'm just saying.”

That tickled him, sending him into another fit of laughter before continuing. 

“Blackwall can’t be but I can’t picture him with anyone either?” Bull rubbed his chin, arms crossed over his chest.

“I know what you mean,” Kara agreed. “It’s like thinking about your parents. Like, you exist so you know they did it; but at the same time, there’s no way that they did it.”

“Qunari,” Bull said, pointing to himself with his thumb. “No parents.”

“Oh, right,” she amended.

“Solas seems as though he feels too good for physical contact with others,” Krem added in. “Not to say anything bad about they guy, he just seems a little full of himself at times.”

“I get ya, but what about Sera?” he asked, changing the subject quickly. He always seemed to go out of his way to make sure Kara felt comfortable and she noticed it. It made her happy and she hoped he knew how much she appreciated it.

“Sera’s such a pervert,” she said with a giggle. “There’s no way she’s not having fun wherever she can take it.”

“Sounds about right,” Bull added.

“Ugh!” Kara groaned. “When are they getting back!? I miss Sera.”

“You two are thick with each other, aren’t you?” Bull asked.

“Yea, I guess. She’s really cool. I like her. She’s really funny and exciting to be around. There’s never a boring moment with Sara.” Kara blushed a little. “And she’s pretty.”

“You are such a little ball of fluff,” he joked, guffawing.

“That’s not true and you know it,” she said with a smirk.

“Maybe,” he grinned back, the conversation having gone in an interesting direction. “I’ve seen another side of you, but I think the setting may be the source.”

“What?” she asked, giving him a look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that the only time you take a dominant or confident attitude is in the bedroom.” 

A snorted laugh came from behind Bull but Kara ignored it. He was teasing her, pushing her buttons, and she knew it but it didn't help her provocation. 

“That’s not true,” she puffed up her chest. “I can be confident.”

“Oh yeah? Prove it,” he challenged.

“Okay, fine. How?” Kara crossed her arms, her eyes slits and her lips curled up.

“Cullen’s right over there,” he said, holding his arm out. “You said he was cute right? Be my guest, show me up.”

Kara didn't say another word. With a smirk she hopped off of the fence she was sitting on, dropping the lanyard into the snow and strode over to the commander, closing the distance quickly until she was just behind him.

“What kind of fur is this?” 

“What?” Cullen turned, jumping slightly when he found Kara standing just a foot away.

“Your armour, I was curious,” Kara asked, lightly touching the brown mantle. “Wow, it’s so soft.” Her eyes lit up and she reached closer, taking a handful and running it between her fingers.

“Oh,” a blush crossed his cheeks and he twitched, taken aback at the sudden physical contact.

It surprised Kara and she quickly pulled her hand to her chest, a smile growing on her lips. She was suddenly very amused.

“Ser Rutherford,” she said, her voice playful. “That’s high quality fur you have on that surcoat. Did you make it yourself?”

“No,” he said, his ‘voice audibly shaken, but his shy smile gave her a small fit of butterflies in the center of her chest. My, um, my sister made it for me as a gift, when I left to join the Templar.”

“That’s so sweet. Your sister sounds wonderful, I’d love to meet her someday.”

“Well,” he let out a nervous, breathy laugh. “I can’t say I’d know when that could be. She is busy with her own affairs. Though I think you two might get along.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment and thank you,” she smiled a devious smile. “Didn’t you join the Templar very young? It couldn’t have fit back then; or were you always of such strong stature?”

“I grew into it,” he said quickly.

“It looks so comfortable,” she commented, taking a step closer and taking the red fabric between her fingers. “It’s so soft!”

“Yes, it’s of good quality.”

“I’d love to try it on sometime,” she mentioned.

“It might be a little big,” he said with a laugh, his confidence slowly returning as the conversation continued on; she was going to have to do something about that.

“Though I don’t have any armour to try it on over, but I'm sure that it would still look good all by itself.” Kara said in a low voice, looking up at him through her lashes.  
“Oh, well,” he stuttered, cheeks turning red. “I mean, I guess it wouldn’t be a problem. Not that it could have been! I just, I wouldn’t understand why you- you would want to wear,” he stuttered, eyes looking everywhere but her own. “I’m sorry, can we talk of something else?”

“It’s okay, I understand,” she smiled an innocent and sweet smile that quickly calmed him.

“Thank you,” he said, running his fingers through his hair nervously. “I’ve been focusing on the men all day, it’s strange to be suddenly talking about other things.” It was an excuse, but she let it slide.

“Well, I'll leave you to your men then, ser Rutherford,” she said with a bow. 

“Please, call me Cullen,” he insisted.

“Of course, and thank you _Cullen_ ” she sighed his name with a grin. “If you find yourself with time to spare and would like my company, don’t hesitate to ask. I would love to model your surcoat for you.” She turned to leave, not waiting to see the blush that certainly crossed his face. 

As Kara walked away from the commander the sight of an incredibly enthused Iron Bull standing by the stables, all grins. She crossed the distance, trying to keep her stride confident as she approached. He held a familiar look in his eye.

“See, I told you I could-,” she started, but Iron Bull picked her up, swiftly, throwing her over his shoulder and walked the short distance to his room in no time, dropping her onto the bed roughly. She looked up at him, confused, as he slowly crawled over her.

“Do you have any idea how arousing it was to watch you wrap him around your little finger?” he asked, his voice so deep that it sent the butterflies in her stomach aflame.

“You mean, you liked it?” she asked. She’d never encountered anything like this before.

“Watching you manipulate him,” he growled, taking her wrists in one hand and pulling her further up the bed before pinning them above her head. “Twist him up and take control of him like that? Yes. I very much liked it.”

Kara blushed but tried to keep her hold. “Well then, I'll have to make an effort to flirt with others more often then.”

Bull smirked at her playful tone and pulled her up off the bed and closer to him, his hand on the small of her back. When their lips were only centimeters apart he whispered to her, “The more you tease me, the harder I'll play the minute we’re alone.

“That would be the point, big guy,” she whispered back, flicking her tongue out just fast enough to catch his lip for a second.

His grin widened and he growled, dropping her back onto the bed and ripping her clothes off.


	11. The Eve of Peril

Kara spoke enthusiastically, her hands arching in large movements as she went. Solas was sitting with his elbow propped on his knee and his chin resting on his fist, eyes wide. It was impossible to not be captured by her excited energy and be dragged along with her. 

“It’s much further in the future, I guess. I can’t really think of how else to put it. Like, we had a time period where this kind of world existed, to a point. But our past is much less progressive.”

“How do you mean?” he asked.

“Well, like, women here can wear pants, that’s a huge difference.”

A look of both disbelief and amusement crossed Solas’s face. “Truly?”

“Mm-hmm! And that’s not all, the races were almost always at war with each other. You know how humans treat Elves sometimes still here?”

Solas nodded.

“That’s how they treated people of other races, or skin tones in my world.”

“Humans against other humans?” he asked, absolutely captivated. “Is that not similar to how some feel about Tevinter and those from it?”

“Well, there’s that kind of rivalry too, but I meant more along the lines of total domination and slavery. There were still people the day I left who felt that people of different skin colours than their own weren’t even whole people. Less than human.” 

“The world you are from is truly quite different from our own,” Solas stated.

“Yea, and in more ways than you think,” Kara retorted. “There’s no magic or spirits or demons. There’s a bunch of religions, one that’s similar to the Maker, but there’s no equivalent of Andraste. No one true religion.”

“And what of the Elven gods?” he asked. “Is there anything similar to them?”

“In the past there was. There were quite a few old religions with multiple gods and goddesses, but almost none of them still have any followers; they’re just considered myths now. Stories of legend. The only two I can really think of is Hinduism and Paganism, and Paganism has only had a very recent resurfacing.”

“But none of them are like ours? None have proven themselves or proved active and alive?”

“No. There are stories from long ago talking about gods coming to earth, but usually even the believers don’t truly take everything as fact.”

“How strange,” he sighed, rubbing his chin in thought.

“Language seems to be similar too, which is odd.”

“Language?” he asked, looking back at her, his attention redrawn.

“Yes, most of the languages and accents are the same as ones from where I'm from but I think they must have different names. Like, the people in Val Royeaux all have french accents and speak french, and Ferelden’s have a British accent and speak English. Even most Dwarves speak an Americanized English.”

“And what of Elvish?” he asked. She turned to him quickly, the look on her face worrying him slightly.

“There is no Elvish language where I'm from; at least not a real one,” she said softly.

“What do you mean, ‘not real’?” 

“Well,” she nervously fiddled with her fingers. “It’s a fictional language created by someone only a few decades before I was born. He made it up for a book he wrote.”

“Then what language do the Elves speak?”

“None. There are no Elves,” she said after a long pause. Solas was too shocked to comment and in the silence she continued. “There’s no Qunari either. No Dwarves, at least not like what exists here, and there are no Elves. Only humans.”

Solas stood and turned away his hand resting over his eyes, rubbing them.

“There’s much less wonder in the world I'm from. So much more hate and so much less hope. We created all of those things to take us away from the real world.” Kara walked towards him, reaching out and grasping the Elf by the upper arms. He didn't resist or even flinch as she leaned onto him, burying her face in his back. “I honestly hated it there. I don’t want to go home. I want to stay here.”

“Why?” he asked, turning then and holding Kara by her arms this time. “This is not your home. Why do you want to stay here? Good or bad, your home is still your home.”

“Because it never felt like home to me,” she answered. “I was an alien among my own peers. I lived in worlds like this any chance I could get. Books, movies, video games, anything that wasn't there and I was exiled for it. It only made it worse. It made people like me less and at the same time, the more I resided in that world of fiction the harder it was to come back and face reality. It was miserable.” She sniffed, her eyes threatening to flow over.

Solas only understood bits and pieces but he could see the meaning behind the words. Feelings that he himself had held at one time; that he still held. He let go of her then, walking past her and sitting down, letting his head fall into his hands.

“Are you truly happy here,” he asked.

“I’m happier than I ever was there.”

“That was not my question.”

Kara turned to face him, his expression harsh. She took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm her nerves and finally pushed out a quiet, “I don’t know.”

Solas sighed. “Thank you for trusting me enough to be honest with me,” he said, standing and returning to her side. “It’s so much different in the waking world.”

“How so?” she asked.

“In the waking hours you seem as if you’re plagued by nothing. You are a carefree and innocent soul.”

“I’m far from innocent,” she joked in an attempt to quelch the anxiety growing in her as he moved closer and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to his chest.. 

“That may be, but you cannot deny how much you old back in order to please others. All these emotions that you entrust to me here in the Fade, but cannot during the day.” He pressed a hand to the back of her head, comfortingly. “I am lucky to hold so much of your trust, even if you do not remember it when you wake.”

Kara wrapped her arms around him then, holding him tightly just as she could feel herself being pulled from her sleep. Her attempts to use him as an anchor failed and a few short seconds later she was awake in her room, sunlight streaming through her window and, for the first time in a long time, was happy Iron Bull had not stayed the night with her. She took the lonely moment to let herself go, hugging her knees to her chest and crying until she was completely out of tears.

Once she had pulled herself together and gotten herself dressed, she took a stroll around the camp.There were no missions to do, no meetings to call, and everyone who was awake was understandingly antsy. 

Almost falling down the steps, Kara tried to manage the snow covered stairs that led down to the tavern. She could see inside but did not see Sera or Iron Bull. It was a little earlier than usual for her to be up, she blamed the dream. Perhaps they hadn’t woken yet.

As she rounded the wooden structure she caught the unmistakable red of Varric’s coat and rose a brow. What was he doing up this early? He didn’t seem the early riser type. She made her way over to find him organizing a pile of papers, a frustrated look on his face.

“What’chya doing?” she asked.

Varric jumped, tossing a handful of papers and jumping before placing his now empty hand on his chest. “You scared the shit out of me, kid. Good lord.”

She chuckled, apologizing. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you could hear me walking up, what with all this loud crunchy snow.” She took a few exaggerated steps for emphasis.

“Well, I was a little focused, if you can’t tell,” he grumbled, gesturing to his mess despite the smile growing on his lips. 

“I can, actually,” she retorted, squatting down and picking up a few pieces and looking them over. “What is all this?”

“My manuscript,” he explained, all while attempting to catch the scattering papers before the wind could take them forever. “I had it bound but for some reason the twine around it has disappeared and now I'm left to try and reorganize all of these pages.”

“I can help,” Kara offered. “They all seem to be numbered so I don’t think it’ll be too hard.”

“Really?” he asked, grabbing the last few and attempting to straighten them. “That would be a great help.”

“Yea, I have nothing better to do.” Kara smiled as an idea popped into her head. “Oh, we should probably do this in the Chantry. Then we won’t be fighting the wind the whole time.”

“Good idea, kid,” Varric agreed, congratulatory, and followed as she started off.

“I almost forgot you were an author, Varric.”

“You say that like it’s some kind of big accomplishment,” he scoffed. “Anyone can write.”

“ _I_ think it is. You’re published, that’s amazing, I’m so jealous,” she gushed.

“Oh yea? What, you a writer?”

“Yes, actually. I’ve written quite a few short stories and had been working on a novel for some time.”

“You finish it? Did you get it published?”

“Oh, no.” Kara waved off his question. “There’s no way I could get published.”

“Why not?” he asked, incredulous. “What, don’t think it’s good enough?”

“No, that’s not it. I’m proud of the work. It’s just so hard to get things published where I'm from. So I never considered it. As much as I'd love to be an author as a career, there’s only two possible roads when it comes to it. The one that leads you to fame and fortune and the other in which no one ever really reads it and you’re scraping to get by.”

“Well, _that’s_ a morbid point of view,” he said with a scoff as they entered through the big wooden doors, finding a place on the floor.

“It’s just the reality of where I'm from. I always had a really hard time figuring out what I wanted to do with my life.”

“Oh yea? Doesn’t sound like you. What kinda stuff were you looking into?”

“Well,” she tried to find a place to start, keeping her eye on the papers and searching for numbers. “I guess the problem was that all my talents were in things that didn't lead to profitable careers.”

“Like what?”

“Well, I'm just an artist.”

“What kinda art?” he pressed further. “Besides writing.”

“Well, I play a few instruments, I was teaching myself how to draw recently, I was pretty good on a pottery wheel, and I used to do photography,” she started, pausing after the last one. “Oh, you probably don’t know what that is though, do you?”

“You play music?” he asked, ignoring her question. “What do you play?”

“Oh, it’s not all that exciting. I can just play piano, violin, and cello; and the latter two are pretty similar, so.”

“Sounds exciting to me,” he said, jabbing her arm with his elbow. “Can you sing as well?”

“Yea, I'm pretty good. I was in a choir for a while. Even did a few opera classes.” Kara was blushing a little, not used to bragging about her talents, let alone being praised for them.

“Well there you go!” he shouted. “You should be a bard!”

“A bard?” she asked, completely taken off guard by the suggestion. “I mean, I guess?”

He laughed at her strange expression. “What? It never cross your mind?”

“It’s not that,” she started. “It’s just, there are no bards back home. Just celebrities, and it’s hard to get noticed or famous. And if you’re not famous you don’t make money. Just the sad truth.”

“Well, you’re not back home are you?” he pushed. 

“No, I'm not.”

“Well there you go!” he grinned. “Maybe we can look into getting you an instrument. Can’t be that hard.”

Kara was smiling wide now, excited at the prospect. “I really do miss playing cello.”

The doors to the Chantry swung open then revealing Solas as he strode in confidently. Put of the corner of his eye he spotted the two on the floor and turned, an inquisitive look in his eye.

“And what, may I ask, are you two doing on the floor?” he asked with a smirk.

“Kara was helping me reorganize my scattered manuscript pages,” Varric answered at the same time that Kara yelled out, “Varric’s going to get me a cello!”

Solas blinked over dramatically, holding his hands up as if in defense. “Well, I think I understand. You play?” he asked.

Kara nodded excitedly. “Yes, I used to all the time. I really miss it. Varric says I should be a bard.”

“She’d be a good one; she’s charismatic as hell,” Varric stated.

“She does have an enigmatic lovability to her,” Solas admitted. “It seems as though you’ve finished with the pages; would you mind if I stole her away from you?” The words sent the butterflies in Kara’s stomach into a tizzy, but she managed to keep her blush at bay. “I was hoping to continue our lessons.”

“Not at all,” he responded before turning to Kara. “Thank you again for helping. I’ll talk to Josephine about getting you that cello.”

“Thank you,” she said as she stood to follow Solas, her face glowing.

“I was thinking that we could go over some grammar today?” Solas began as he led her outside. “What do you think?”

“Sounds like a plan,” she answered. “Also, do you think we… could…” Kara stopped, her words slowing along with footsteps. 

“Is everything alright?” Solas asked, stopping a few paces ahead of her, concerned. 

The smile that she had held only moments before was now gone, along with all of the energy he’d just witnessed. Now she looked drained, her face pallid and full of despair. She didn't answer him. In fact, she didn’t even hear him. All sounds around her were drowned out by the sound of her own heartbeat in her ears as she stared up blankly into the sky.

The snow had finally stopped.


	12. May He Find Me

The morning passed quietly. 

It was impossible for Kara to keep her mind on what Solas was saying to her, she just stared at his lips as they moved, thinking. A sea of _what if’s_ and _Maybe’s_ crashing around in her head and only a boat of happier times to keep her from drowning in them. She couldn’t do it any more; just sit there silently like that. She wanted to just tell him everything. He already knew so much would this last bit be the straw that broke the camel’s back or could it become her lifeboat? 

With a rush of adrenaline, she stood up, silencing the man in front of her. He stared, surprised by her sudden movement, blinking. His lips began to form a question but Kara was faster. She crossed the room to him, her steps deliberate and true.

He managed to let out a simple “What-” before her lips crashed against his. She reached up, holding his face in her hands and breaking the kiss to stare into his eyes.

“I love you Solas,” she sighed. “I always have. I’ve watched you, watched your tragic tale play out more than once. I know you better than anyone and you’re what I want more than anything else.”

“Why are you telling me this?” he asked, his hands resting on her waist are firm but he didn’t push her away.

“Because everything is about to come to a head and I needed to tell you before then. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, but maybe if we just leave now…” Kara sighed, closing her eyes for a moment before looking back up to Solas’s concerned face. “Maybe we can both have a happy ending.”

He didn't say anything but she could feel his grip on her tightening. Her words shocked him but they were true and heavy.

“So,” she asked. “Will you leave with me?”

“Kara,” he sighed her name with a small playful smile. “Kara,” he said again, a little firmer this time.

“Yes?” she asked.

“Kara?” he asked one last time, the word echoing around her as if she were in a cave. 

The face in front of her shifted and she took in a sharp breath before looking around to find herself still sitting at Solas’s table. The elf stood on the opposite side, leaning down to be level with her, a smile on his lips. 

“Are you there?” he asked, waving a hand in front of her face.

“What?” she shot up quickly, rubbing her eyes. “Sorry, I-, Sorry.”

He chuckled under his breath. “It’s fine. You seemed to be trapped in a daydream. You are not tired are you? I’m aware you woke early, but it’s still the afternoon.”

“No,” she waved off his worry. “I’m not tired, just… distracted.”

“I hope everything is alright. You seem a little troubled by something. You can talk to me about it you know,” he insisted, sitting down across from her then and took her hands in his. “I will always listen.”

Kara looked up at him as a warmth grew in her chest. His kindness and understanding warming her as if he were the sun itself. She opened her mouth to speak just as the door to the cabin opened, and she jumped, throwing herself against the back of the char hard and swiftly pulling her hands from his before whoever entered could see.

Solas gave her a concerned look before turning to see who had so rudely interrupted them to find Cassandra at his door.

“Oh, I apologize if I am interrupting something, but I wanted to inform you as soon as the decision was made.” She took a few steps in, letting the door shut behind her as she pulled out a roll of parchment and handed it to Solas.

He took the paper, scanning it in silence as Cassandra continued her explanation.

“The Herald has come to the conclusion that she is ready for a final attempt on the breach.” Her tone was unfeeling and professional, her Seeker background showing through. “We will be leaving first thing tomorrow morning, so get your rest and prepare tonight.”

“Of course,” he said, handing back the paper.

“Thank you, Solas. I assumed you would want to be there for it, not only for your own benefit but to counsel the mages as well.”

“Yes,” he responded politely. “I will be ready.”

Without another word Cassandra left, the sudden silence choking Kara. Solas turned back to her, “If you would like to continue,” he began.

“No,” she said quickly, standing and gathering her things. “You should prepare for tomorrow. Besides, it’s like you said, I’m having a difficult time focusing. It would be better to attempt at this lesson at a later date,” she insisted.

Before he could protest, Kara was already up and out the door, leaving Solas to his own thoughts. She was a curious girl, always something running through her mind that seemed to leave him perplexed; but he couldn’t think on it for long. While he was disappointed to leave their lesson unfinished, she was right. He needed to prepare his things for the journey tomorrow and sleep would be a very wise thing to get before such an attempt. 

Not to mention, while Kara seemed to be a vessel for lost secrets during the waking hours, at night was an entirely different story. Perhaps she would be present and willing to explain more once they were able to speak freely within the fade. He decided he would make an attempt that night.

. . .

The familiar feeling of the Fade wrapped around Solas as he slipped easily into it, his second home. His eyes fluttered a moment before everything became clear around him and he found himself in the hidden eden that Kara had created specially for them to meet. She was sitting on the rocks as she usually was, only glancing up at him when he was a few paces from her. He strode confidently into the light, catching her attention immediately. When she looked up her face seemed to hold all the world’s despair. It worried him to see her so somber. It was not common for her to be quite so despondent. 

“You have not been your usual self as of late,” Solas stated, slowly closing the gap between them.

Kara sighed, shifting her weight nervously before only saying “Yes.”

Solas furrowed his brow and sat on one of the stones at her feet, placing a hand on her knee as he gazed up at her.

“What has you so perturbed?” he asked, pressing the issue.

Kara closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again and finally looking into Solas’s eyes and seemingly into his soul. “I need to tell you something.”

“Understandably so, our meetings here are usually in order for you to tell me things,” Solas pointed out. “You are the oracle,” he said with a smile, emphasizing the title.

“Something is going to happen tomorrow. Something… bad…” she clumsily attempted to explain.

“Tomorrow is the day we finally close the breach. You aren’t suggesting that it will go poorly are you?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s different.”

“Different in what way?”

“Something big is coming,” she began. “A great danger. The entire encampment is going to fall prey to it.”

Her words completely captured Solas’s attention. While he wasn't so sure about her being a true soothsayer she had yet to lead him astray. “Then we should prepare,” he started, standing suddenly.

“No, wait,” Kara dolefully called out and lurched forward, grabbing his sleeve. “Please.”

Solas turned to her, slightly bemused. 

“You’ll be fine. All of you.” Kara let her hand fall from him as he turned and crouched in front of her, listening to her amendment. “Some will die, but only a few of the foot soldiers. You, the inquisitor, Cassandra, all of you will survive. There’s no need to work yourself up.”

Still as confused as he was a moment prior, Solas questioned her foresight. 

“If we are all as safe as you are insuring, why are your spirits so low?”

She didn't answer at first, instead downcasting her eyes. “I know that you will all be safe, but I, on the other hand, may not be.”

“What?” he questioned.

“I have seen what happens, I know that you all will be perfectly fine, but I’ve never been here before.”

“Kara,” Solas Sighed her name, placing a comforting hand on her her shoulder.

“I’m not like you all. I’m not a soldier, I'm not a rogue, I'm not a warrior; and despite what you keep thinking, I'm not a mage. I’m just a frail human girl who will be a burden in the coming days.” She took his hand in hers then, looking at him once again. “And I want to tell you something, just in case.”

“Tell me…?” his voice trailed off. “In case of what?” his voice came out slightly more aggressive than he had intended.

“I never would have thought you would believe all the things I said about myself. My world must sound like a fantasy, some made up story. But you never doubted me. But there’s more to it than all that. I’ve left out one of the biggest pieces to the story, one that I was afraid to tell you. It’s the one thing I was sure you wouldn’t believe.”

Solas could hear the pain in her words, the strength she’d held to hold all this back. He opened his mouth to speak, but she pushed on, not giving him the chance.

“Despite that, even if you never believe me, even if you never learn, I couldn’t live with myself if didn't tell you how I felt.” Kara lifted her hands to hold his face gently, looking deeply into his eyes. “Solas… I love you.”

Stunned into silence for a moment, Solas just stared at her, bewildered. When he finally found his voice he spoke up. “How? How could you love me when you’ve only known me for a short time such as this?”

“Because I’ve seen all that there is to see. I know you better than most. I may not from this world, but I’ve been here before.”

“How can you say you know me? There are secrets I keep that no man alive is party to.” Solas made no attempt to remove her hands as she drew closer, their faces so close now that he could feel her breath on his lips. Instead he rested his hand on her shoulder. 

“I know your secrets,” she insisted, moving closer.

“Will you reveal how it is that you so conveniently know?” he asked, his agitation growing.

“Perhaps someday, if I survive all this. I won’t reveal anything now; but just in case, I will say this. She will understand. She will be angry, but she will forgive you because she loves you.”

“And if you should die then?” he asked, raising his voice and ignoring the rest of her statement. “Then what?”

Kara leaned closer, bringing her lips to his ear and whispered to him.

“Nuva Fen'harel ver em.”

A bolt of lightning made its way down Solas’s spine and back as the shock of realization hit him. His eyes opened wide and he sat up, pulled violently from sleep and therefore the fade. 

She knew. 

She knew who he was and she’d kept it a secret this whole time. Treated him no differently. This changed many things. What was he to do now? And what had she meant when she said ‘she will forgive you’? Forgive him for what? And more curiously was her twisting of the elvhen curse, nuva Fen'harel ver ma. In all his years he had never heard someone say it as such.

It seemed as though he left with more questions than answers that night, and only more curiosity he needed to satiate.


	13. Thorn In The Eye of the Inquisition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra long and juicy chapter for all my readers who've been patiently waiting. I hope you enjoy it! I know I enjoyed writing it! ^ω^
> 
>  
> 
> P.S.   
> I wrote like 2/3 of this with my phone since my laptop was commandeered for the bulk of the day and I REALLY wanted to get this written for you all. So... Please excuse any weird spelling or out of place words.   
> If you're up for it, leave me a comment with any you find and I'll do my best to fix them. Thanks!

Light streamed through Kara’s window and onto her face. Her eyes were already open; she hadn’t slept that well the night before. The scene ran through her head over and over again. Her, getting closer to him than she’d ever dared before and holding his face, her lips close enough to his ear that if she’d wanted she could have kissed it. She remembered herself whispering in his ear the Dalish curse she’d picked up in her studies, only modified. A wish for death, but instead of an enemy, her own. He’d asked, what if she died, and she answered honestly, nuva Fen'harel ver em.

_May the dread wolf take me._

The memory of the words brought a blush to her face and a rush of excitement that was quickly preceded with that gut wrenching feeling as the unused adrenaline settled in her system. Outside of the cabin she could hear the hushed voices of people preparing for their trek up the mountain. With a groan she pulled her blanket over her head, waiting it out. He wanted to see them off, wish them luck, and , worst of all, get one last look at Solas. She felt so pathetic. There was no way she could face him again after last night.

If she was right, she might not have to. 

When she was sure that all of them had left she begrudgingly dragged herself out of bed and readied herself for the day. As she exited her room she saw that everyone was standing outside and just staring at the sky. Following their gaze, she looked up, seeing nothing. There was no difference to it than any other day, the clouds still spinning around the giant green hole in the world. 

The breach. 

Instead of gawking as everyone else was, she made her way down the stone steps to the tavern for breakfast to find it empty. She sighed an exasperated sigh and exited, continuing down the path to find, quite literally, everyone standing in the outer courtyard. 

Of course they were. 

As she turned to go back, deciding to just make her own breakfast, she caught a glimpse of cornsilk hair blowing in the wind and turned to see Sera standing on Iron Bull’s Horns, one hand out for balance and the other blocking the sun from her eyes. 

“Oh god, not you too,” she sighed. 

Sera turned to her then, her face lighting up at the sight of her. “You’re up!” she cheered, doing a perfect backflip off the Iron Bull and sticking the landing.

“That was impressive,” Kara commented, her voice still a little flat.

“Impressed, are ya?” she asked, rubbing her nails on her chest with a smirk. “It’s just that I’m that that good, innit? That trick’s shite. I do that all the time with my bow.”

Kara let out a huff of a laugh as Bull walked over to join the two. “So you two spectating the big event too?” she crossed her arms. “I wouldn’t have guessed you the type, Sera. No to mention the fact that you’re here at all. Didn’t they want you guy’s with them up there?”

“Nah,” Sera waved her off. “They just wanted the mages and some soldiers to keep their magic in check. Besides, I’d rather be as far away from that thing as I possibly can when they take a whack at that thing, right? There’s not enough money in the world to turn my head on that.”

“Huh. Alright.” It made sense, Sera really didn’t like anything to do with magic or demons and the breach pretty easily fell into both of those categories. “So then, why are you both just standing out here with everyone else?”

“To see history in the making!” Bull shouted. “Who would miss this? The Herald closing the hole in the sky!”

Kara raised her hand, “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m seriously considering going right back to bed.”

“What!?” Sera gave her a shocked look and took her by the arm, dragging her back to Bull’s side. “Ya can’t do that! You should be here!”

“You don’t really want to miss it, do you?” Bull asked.

“Nothing good will come of this,” she said, staring up into the clouds with a blank expression. Bull caught notice of it and his brows pinched together but he didn’t say anything, instead just placing his hand on her back and giving her a comforting smile.

“Ugh!” Sera groaned, completely glossing over her friends statement. “How much longer is it going to take!?”

“When did they leave?” Kara asked.

“What? I dunno, like an hour or two ago?” she answered. “Why?”

“How long do you think it takes to climb to get up there?”

Sera turned her gaze from Kara to the mountain in the distance. With a ‘harumph’ she crossed her arms. The sight managed to bring a real smile to Kara’s lips. 

“She’s right,” Bull agreed. “It’ll probably be a little bit longer.”

“What do you say, instead of pouting, we go get some food and come back?” Kara suggested.

“Alright, fine,” Sera reluctantly agreed. “But I call dibs on the cinnamon bread!” she was already running by the time she finished her statement.

Bull smiled after her, looking down at Kara to see her smile slowly shift from happy to a kind of sad and despairing one, but he didn't comment. He was sure that if she wanted to talk about it, she would. 

The three made their way to the tavern, fixing up a little makeshift breakfast and returned back to their place out in the yard, this time climbing up onto one of the high stone walls. All with a little help from Bull of course. The next few hours passed by quickly, the company of her friends effectively cheering Kara up far more than she ever could have thought they were.

“I swear,” Sera attempted to say through her fit of laughter. “Th’boy was so stupid! Just running away from the friggin’ thing, screaming as it dragged along behind him!”

“I’m still astonished you managed to hide a giant fake spider and tie it to him without him ever noticing,” Bull said, laughing as well.

“I wish I’d have been there,” Kara insisted. “I would have killed to see that.”

“Oh, you would have loved it, especially if-” Sera started but was cut off.

A loud crack sounded, as if lightning had struck all around them. It was so piercing that most of the crowd threw their hands over their ears the minute it sounded, followed with silence as they all looked up at the sky. 

Sera, Bull, and Kara all turned as well to see the clouds around the breach beginning to stir. They began to circle faster and faster as another crack rang out. It sounded like the sky was breaking apart and threatened to come crashing down on top of all of them, but with one last crack there was an answer. The hole flashed a bright green light, causing the crowd to squint to continue watching; the last crack echoing out louder than the worst thunder as the tear in the world slowly closed, mending itself until there was nothing left in the sky but sky.

The crowd around them erupted into a deafening roar of cheering, people hugging each other and others crying. Even Sera and Bull were caught up in the excitement, Sera cupping around her mouth and letting out a howl while Bull raised a fist in the air with a harsh cry; but Kara couldn’t find the joy that the rest of them held. She remained immune to the contagious energy of the crowd.

. . .

The gates to Haven swung open to reveal the entire encampment screaming out praises for them as they strode across the bridge and towards the Chantry. The people reached for them, hands grazing his legs as he passed and he worried they might unseat him from his horse. Solas could feel their joy like an earthquake, rumbling through him; vibrating with energy. It was far too easy to let it drag him down with it, his smile growing the further in they went.

Cracks and the pop of corks rang out as people opened wine casks and bottles, music flowed like water through the air and enveloped everything. The entire camp had erupted into a spontaneous party, people dancing around the fire and crashing glasses in toasts. They had accomplished something truly amazing, something impossible. 

They had closed the breach.

Just as Solas began allowing himself to indulge in the night's proceedings, something caught his eye. From his horse, Solas could see something. Someone; off in the distance and standing high above all the rest. 

It was Kara. Unlike all those around her, she did not dance, she did not cheer. No, instead she stood, motionless atop the stone wall that surrounded the Chantry proper, staring at him. Her face empty of any exultation. Her gaze bore into his soul and swiftly whisked away any chance he had of enjoying the night as the rest of them did. It felt as though the two held each other hostage for hours, but in reality only seconds had passed. Almost as fast as she’d appeared, she disappeared; stepping back and off the wall, her hair lifting into the air around her as she fell.

Dismounting, Solas tossed the reins to the closest person and made off in the direction of the main gates, pushing through them and scanning the crowd, but she wasn’t there. He did not falter, pushing through the ocean of people in an effort to find where she had stepped down to but when he reached it she had already gone.

“Have you seen Kara?” he asked an elven woman dancing beside him.

“The little human girl?” she asked. “She was here only a moment ago, she has to be close. Wine?” She held up a cup but he pushed it away.

“Thank you, but I must be going.”

“Oh, come on, you deserve it!” she insisted. “Just take it.”

He complied, if only to make her let him go, grabbing the cup and turning to continue searching. He made his way up and past the tavern, wondering if she had perhaps gone back to her room, but he wouldn’t look into this inquiry. Just as he moved to climb the steps an arm reached out, stopping him.

He followed the arm to its owner to find it was Cassandra. She held a confused and slightly disgruntled look.

“Are you drinking, Solas?” she asked.

“What?” He asked before looking down at the cup in his hand. “No,” he said flatly, tipping it and letting the contents spill onto the snow before dropping the cup beside it and turning back to her.

“We need you for a moment, for confirmations.” Her voice was strong, commanding. He nodded, following as she set off, turning only to stare thoughtfully at Kara’s cabin. 

. . .

Kara strode past happy go lucky partiers on her way to her room, holding hands and dancing merrily, but none of it rubbed off onto her. She felt empty, as if she might never feel anything ever again. It scared her. 

She stopped halfway up the steps, her eyes locked on her door. Did she really think she could just hide in her room until this all blew over? Corypheus was coming whether she like it or not; whether she hid in her room or faced it head on. She hated to admit it, but she _wanted_ to just hide, to let whatever comes come. A heavy wave of guilt washed over her. She was weak. 

She was weak and she knew it, hated it.

The memory of Solas riding in flashed through her head. He had looked so happy, coming through those gates, and she ruined it. Those people were cheering for him and he deserved it. He had a moment that was all his own but the minute he saw her she watched it drain from his face. Kara looked around at the people surrounding her. How many would die tonight? What faces was she never going to see again? 

If she couldn't face the truth, the future, for herself then she'd do it for him. For everyone else here. With a deep breath she accepted her fate, turning and climbing back up the stone wall to sit, her legs dangling off the opposite side. 

She knew what was coming, she knew what to look for, so she sat in and waited. Her fingers and toes started to go numb as time passed and she wiggled them in an attempt at comfort, but it didn't help. After sitting for what felt like hours, something glinted over the horizon. 

Adrenaline rushed through Kara as she watched more flickering lights make their way over the shadowy crest of the mountain. Standing quickly, Kara turned and clumsily leaped off the wall, landing oddly on her ankle but the pain was minute and so she ignored it, running to find Cullen. 

She spotted his armour, glinting in the firelight next to the open Chantry doors and made her way to him as fast as she could, skidding to a stop by his side. The commander jumped, startled by her sudden appearance as she leaned on her knees in an attempt to catch her breath. 

“Kara? What on earth is the matter?” he asked, turning to her and placing a hand on her back. 

Without straightening, Kara pointed in the direction of the mountain, still huffing. She was more out of shape than she'd realized. 

Cullen looked to where she was pointing momentarily but didn't understand her message. He turned back to her, squatting down to be at her level. “Did someone hurt themselves?”

“Coming… over the mountain…” she panted. “Red… red…”

“Red what?” he tried, the worry setting in.

“Ser,” one of the nightingales pointed into the distance, “are those torches? 

Cullen looked again into the darkness, now finally seeing. A horde of them swayed in movement like a river of fire making it's way across the land and heading straight for Haven.

“What is that? Who is that?” he asked no one in particular, amending his question.

Before Kara could attempt to answer there was a loud banging at the gate as something bashed at it in an attempt to force it's way in.

The three rushed down to the doors, Cullen alerting their men along the way. Josephine, Cassandra, and the Herald were already there, trying to figure out what was happening as well. 

“It's a huge force coming down the mountain,” Cullen explained. 

Josephine turned to him. “Under what banner?”

“None.”

“None!?” she exclaimed, utterly confused. 

They were all silenced as the banging started up again; with each strike a bright light flashed from under the door. Then, clear as day, a voice rang out from the other side. 

“I can't come in unless you open!”

Without pause, Kara ran forward and pulled at the door. Cullen made a move to stop her but by the time he had a hold of her arm she had already done it. 

Opening the door revealed five dead men and one still standing. Cullen reached for his blade without thought, but stopped when the huge man crumpled into a grasp on the ground; behind him stood a frail looking boy wearing tattered clothes and a widely brimmed hat. 

“I'm Cole. I came to warn you. To help. People are coming to hurt you.” HR looked around at the discord surrounding them. “You probably already know.”

“What is this? What's going on?” Lavellan asked him, hurriedly. 

“The templars come to kill you.” He had said the words as if they did not hold the weight that they did. Effortlessly. 

“Templars?” Cullen shouted, flustered and angry. “Is this the Order's response to our talks with the mages? Attacking blindly?”

“The red templars went to the Elder One,” Cole answered. “You know him? He knows you. You took his mages. There.”

They All watched as the strange boy turned, pointing dramatically towards two men standing at the edge of one of the mountains many peaks. One of the man was normal, while the other stood a full three heads taller than the first. Both glowed a hellish red. 

“What on earth?” Cassandra mumbled under her breath. 

Josephine turned to Kara, her eyes more serious than she'd ever seen them. “We need to get to the Chantry with the others.” Kara nodded in agreement. 

She watched as the woman ran to safety, but didn't follow. She felt a presence behind her, holding her back. Slowly, Kara turned around to see Cole staring at her intently. 

“You are wrong,” he started, bluntly. 

“What?” she furrowed her brow. “But I haven't said anything?”

“No.” Cole squinted his eyes at her from under his hat. “You are _wrong_.”

While his eyes held no malice, the words sent a shiver down her spine. They stood there a moment longer, each trapped in the others gaze while civilians rushed past, all desperately looking for safety. The sound of metal clanging rang out from all directions. Cole turned then and, without another word, ran towards the fighting, freeing her to find safety herself. As she turned a voice rang out around her. Just a few steps away was Cullen, sword in the air and determination on his face. 

“Inquisition!” he shouted to the soldiers. “With the Herald! For your lives! For all of us!” 

Everywhere around her erupted into cheers and she jumped in surprise. She turned to look at Cullen, who was smiling proudly as his men all rushed to do as their commander had ordered. Kara had always held the ex-templar in high regard; he was kind and considerate and level headed, but something changed then. When she'd witnessed that same speech before in her own world, it had made her giggle. Such boasting felt silly when seeing it on a screen; how could one say those things and not feel embarrassed? But now that she was there, standing among the chaos, to see the man who commanded the troops that were to protect you show such energy and dedication to his cause, it was hard not to get sucked into it yourself. A strange feeling tickled at her, somewhere on the fringes of her mind, and just as she wondered curiously about what it could mean, the commander turned to look at her; his beaming smile all but turning her to stone. 

It wasn't seconds before their little moment was ripped from their hands. Worry filled Kara as she watched Cullen’s face shift from its radiant grin to something much more grim. She felt her heart fall into her stomach, a wave of fear washing over her as his eyes moved from hers to something behind her. 

Turning quickly, she found herself in the path of a Red Templar’s downward swing. With a cry, Kara threw herself to the left, the great blade digging into dirt beside her, only narrowly missing it's target. She screamed, scrambling to get back to her feet when she heard Cullen call out her name, his voice laced with panic. She looked at him, trying to understand what it was he was trying to communicate, just as something hit her side. 

Hot, searing pain ripped through her as she smashed into a cabin’s wall; a club wielding Red Templar having connected his attack where his bladed cohort had not. 

Everything was spinning. Kara tried to stand but nausea overcame her and she fell to her hands and knees, vomiting her breakfast from earlier. She heard her name being called again but this time she couldn't find the strength to see where the cry had come from. Instead, staring at the ground as an ear shattering crash sounded above her as the red Templar's club careened into the window, glass shards raining down onto her, leaving behind little lovebites as they passed. 

Trembling and gasping, Kara made a desperate attempt to crawl away from her attacker, but she was too wounded, too slow. The hulking monster reached down, grabbing her up by her clothing and rearing his arm back to throw her. She didn't fight it. The shock was beginning to set in and she could hardly make out her surroundings, let alone attempt to defend herself. So she waited for the darkness, for the end, but that end didn't come. Instead she was forced alert as the monster let out a bellowing scream, dropping her to the ground. 

Kara rolled onto her back, her head flopping to the side just in time to observe as Cullen’s blade tore through the air, cutting deep into the glowing thing’s body. It stirred only for a moment before going still. Once he was sure the thing was dead, Cullen ran to her side. 

“Kara!” he worriedly called for her, his hand gently cradling her head. “Kara, stay with me. Medic! I need a mage here!”

Everything grew fuzzy at the edges and Kara felt as though she were falling down an infinite hole, deeper and deeper into herself. The last thing she could process before the darkness overcame her was the horrified look on Cullen's face as he begged her to stay with him.


	14. A Very Warm Welcome (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short but I'm amending some things so please bear with me.  
> Thank you. ≥﹏≤

Darkness.

Darkness was all she could see; just the endless, empty black. It was not what she had expected death to feel like. She had always thought that death would just be an end, nothing. No touch, no sight, no pain or emotion, and no consciousness, just non-existence. Not this. Not this feeling of floating in a cold void. She tried to call out, to scream for help, but her voice caught, the attempt setting her throat aflame.

Was there no air here? Or was it that the air was made of fire? It hurt to breathe, each intake scraping at her esophagus as if she was inhaling sand. Despite how cold it was, her skin burned and itched like she’d bathed in fiberglass but when she made an attempt to appease it she found she could not, her arms and legs bound tight. She wanted to cry, the chill seeming to be seeping into her bones, threatening to turn her to ice. Anything would be better than this, she thought as the frost slowly encased her. 

After what felt like an eternity she could feel the cold starting to dissipate and relief filled her body as it went, but it left in its place a numbness that quickly began to make her feel uneasy. Only moments ago she had wished for this, and now that she had it, it terrified her. Did she really want to die? She had accepted this option before, when she was in so much pain, but now that it had gone she felt the panic starting to well back up.

Kara shivered, the act violent enough to shake her back to consciousness. She awoke with a start, her eyes dancing around in an attempt to understand her surroundings. She made an attempt to sit up but hands grabbed at her, pulling her back down as a voice rang out.

“She’s awake!” The voice shouted. 

“Go and alert Cullen,” another, calmer voice commanded. “I’m sure he’ll wish to know.”

Kara shifted again, and the gentle hands returned. “Stay still, lethallan.” She knew that voice.

“Solas?” she asked looking up at him, shocked at how weak her voice sounded.

“Yes,” he replied with a small but pleasant smile. “It is I.”

“What happened?” she asked, raising her hand to her head but stopping before it could get there when a bolt of pain shot through it. “Ah!” she winced, letting her arm fall back down again.

“Don’t move,” he warned, placing a comforting hand on her own, he raised the other, holding it a few inches from her skin and slowly passing over her arm. “You had us all very worried, you know.”

“What’s going on? What are you doing?” she questioned, but he ignored it.

“Does it still hurt?” he asked

She looked over at it and was amazed to realize it didn’t. “No?” she answered, bewildered.

“Good.” His hand retracted, taking its place on his lap. He turned, fumbling through a bag that was sitting on the floor next to him and Kara took the moment of silence to examine her surroundings.

They were in a room made completely of stone, three of the four walls holding wooden doors which were all shut. There was light streaming in through long but thin window like openings in the fourth wall, illuminating the room the perfect amount. It looked familiar but she was still a little confused from everything that had happened.

“Where are we?” she asked.

“Skyhold,” Solas answered as he turned back to her and helped her into a sitting position. 

“This is Skyhold?” she questioned, shocked. “That’s at least a three day walk from Haven?”

“Indeed.” 

“I was out for three days?”

“Longer. We waited on the snowy mountaintop for a day as well.” Solas poured a strange and luminous red liquid into a small cup before holding it before her. “Drink.”

She nodded, trusting Solas implicitly, and took the cup, pressing it to her lips. It was thick but tasted of apples and summertime. She finished the stuff quickly, licking her lips as she handed it back to Solas.

“Wow, that tasted amazing? What was that?” 

“It was a potion of health. I couldn’t manage to get you to drink it while you were unconscious.” Placing the cup on the stone floor beside him, Solas lifted his hands and held them over her bandaged legs, his eyes closing in concentration.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s perfectly alright,” he reassured her. “It has just been difficult to heal you; more so than I could have expected.”

“Really?” she asked. “Why do you think that is?”

“I’m not quite sure.” his sounded skeptical. “It could be anything from your strange origins to some unique biological difference that I cannot explain. In the end it just means that I will need to defer to you every now and again as to how well I am progressing your healing.”

Kara nodded just as the door across the room from them swung open and Cullen rushed his way in, a look of true worry on his face.

Cullen’s eyes locked onto hers and instantly softened. “You’re awake,” he exclaimed. “Thank the maker.”

Kara smiled at the man as he crossed the room. Sadly though, his relief didn't last long. His eyes settled on the bandages covering most of her body as well as her neck and face, the weight of her injuries weighing him down until he sank to his knees at her feet.

“Look at you,” he all but whimpered. “You’re broken.”

“She is anything but,” Solas retorted as his hands still slowly passed over her and his eyes unopening. 

“But, the bandages?”

“Flesh wounds, if you could call them that. The cuts were diminutive. She might have some residual scarring, but not much. The worst of her injuries were her ankle and a little bit of bruising on her back and sides.”

“Truly? That is the extent of them?” Cullen asked, the colour returning to his face. “I assumed they would be much worse.”

“I know I passed out, but I didn't think he really hurt me that badly,” Kara commented, lifting her arm to give Solas access to her side.

Cullen turned to her then. “He tossed you aside like a rag doll.” His words were heavy. Kara could tell how much the image had weighed on him since that night. “The sound when you hit the wall was… I worried that your spine was broken before you picked yourself up.”

“How do you feel now?” Solas asked, opening his eyes. “Anything still hurting?”

She tested her body out, moving her arms and legs while twisting her wrists and ankles. “I’m a little sore,” she told him. “And my skin feels prickly.”

“I will need to put a salve on your cuts before I dismiss you from my care, but the soreness should ease in the next few days.” The elf made for his bag again, taking out a jar full of a thick whiteish green substance. The colour and texture reminded Kara of glow in the dark putty she had played with as a child. “And your ankle?” he continued. “How does that feel?”

“It’s still a little sharp, but nothing I haven't had to deal with before. I’ll just have to limp for a day or two.”

Solas made a sound of understanding. “Yes, it was the worst of all your injuries. You must have hit it on something when you were thrown.”

Kara thought back to the attack on Haven and raised a hand to rub at her neck. “No,” she corrected. “The templar didn't do it, I think I did.”

The two men gave her questioning looks and she continued to explain.

“When I first saw them coming I had been sitting on top of the gate. When I leaped off to go find you, Cullen, I did so a little rushed. I landed on it weird but it didn’t hurt at the time. I assumed I just twisted it.”

“You _would_ give yourself the most grievous of the wounds received after being attacked so brutally,” Solas said, his words dripping with sarcasm. 

Kara giggled and the sound brought a small grin to Solas’s lips.

“Well,” the elf began, straightening before opening the mysterious jar. “I’ll need for you to leave now, Cullen.”

“What?” he asked, taken aback. “And why is that?”

“Because I need to apply this salve to her cuts which will require her to be in a state of undress and I assumed that, not only would she prefer to have the least amount of eyes on her as possible, but also that you were a man of such caliber as to find it unbefitting for you to stay as I do so.” His obvious jab rolled effortlessly from his tongue, sending the commander sprawling.

“Oh,” he said with a blush. “Yes, I, um. I’ll see myself out.”

The two watched as he left, Solas letting out a chuckle under his breath as the door shut behind him. 

“You’re cruel,” Kara said with a grin.

“He shouldn’t leave himself so open to jests,” Solas retorted back. “Now, take off your tunic and roll over.”

Kara blushed then. “Wait, you weren’t kidding?”

“Absolutely not,” he chided, already beginning to unwrap some of the bandages around her leg. “Do you want your cuts to be healed by supper or sometime next week?” he asked.

With a scoff Kara begrudgingly turned over and pulled at her clothes, all the while her mind raced. It took everything she had to hold back her shy embarrassment.

. . .


	15. A Very Warm Welcome (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your patience with these last few chapters. I'll be starting on the next one the minute this one is published and, as a thank you for both your critiques and loyalty, I promise, it'll be dramatic. 
> 
> Thank you so much! I seriously appreciated everything you guys had to say about it all. Please don't hesitate to do so again in the future, I won't be offended. How will I become a better writer without good critiques!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this short Part 2 before the next chapter!

“Calm yourself, Lethallan,” Solas’s voice echoed in her ears. “You’re tense. You must relax your muscles. 

_That’s easy for you to say,_ Kara thought to herself, her face buried in her pillow so hard that it was beginning to be hard to breathe.

After a few seconds of silence Kara could feel his hands press to lower back and she was very thankful for her pillow as it muffled the squeak she suddenly let escape. It hurt at first, the cream started cold but as he caressed her skin, working it over all her cuts, it slowly grew warmer, the sting fading as he went. She let out a low breathy moan and Solas chuckled, sending her back reeling.

“This poultice is imbued with magic. It heals smaller wounds almost perfectly.” His hands disappeared for a moment as he scooped a new handful, pressing it to her upper back this time. “The cuts on your legs and face will be very faint. One would not see them unless one was looking for them. These on your back, on the other hand…” He paused, his hands stopped but didn’t remove themselves.

Kara lifted her head ant turned to look at him as best she could. His face looked regretful as he stared at her skin, it made her stomach ache. He seemed to shake it off then, not having noticed her gaze, and continued his work.

“Some of them are slightly deeper than the rest. They will not heal so cleanly,” he finished.

“They’ll scar?” she asked.

“Yes,” he answered, his voice solemn. “On your back and arms, it will scar.”

“That’s fine!” She cheered a little too enthusiastically. She was hoping to alleviate some of the guilt he seemed to be holding. “Scars are cool! They’re stories, you know?”

He smiled at that and she lit up.

“They give you more character. They say, ‘I’ve been through worse, so don’t think you can mess with me.’ Makes me look tough!”

She was almost rambling at this point; it entertained Solas. “But you’re not trained in fighting, you are not ‘tough’.” 

“Sometimes looking tough is all you need,” she said with a smile. 

“Let’s hope you’ll never need anything more, now flip over.” 

Kara complied, turning onto her back, her embarrassment returning. It was easier to forget that she was in only her bra and underwear when she was hidden in the safety of her pillow. 

“The whole thing feels so surreal.” 

“Does it, now?”

“Yea, like, it’s hard to believe it all happened.”

“Well, it did.” He stood, crossing from her left side to her right and beginning application on her other arm. “And you have the marks to prove it.”

“Now we both have marks,” she whispered under her breath, almost too low for even her to hear, but Solas’s elf ears caught it.

“You’re speaking of the Inquisitor, aren’t you?” he asked.

Kara didn't answer, instead taking a deep breath and picking her left arm up to stare at it arm longingly. Solas didn't prod. When he was finished applying the poultice he stood, crossing the room to the door. 

“Sleep for a while, let your body heal. Once the magic has done its job I will send someone to help take you to the baths,” he instructed, his voice monotone. “Wash it off carefully. No scrubbing to harshly, the skin will be sensitive.”

And with that he left, leaving Kara suddenly quite alone, her mind running at a million miles a minute. Solas had called Lavellan “the Inquisitor”. That meant that she’d missed that as well. She sighed, attempting to turn to her side only to find it was much too painful. Relenting, she just laid on her back and closed her eyes. She could feel the magic seeping into her; it left a warm and comforting feeling, sleep not far then.


	16. Dana ma Vhenan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this decently long chapter! It's Thanksgiving, of course, and my family will be visiting for the next few days so I might not be able to begin work on the next chapter until Monday, but until then enjoy this hell of a cliff hanger!  
> Oh, and:
> 
> Happy Thanksgiving!!!

“I can’t believe this tub!” Sera screamed, kicking water into the air.

“It is pretty big,” Kara agreed. “It’s like the size of a small pool. I’d only ever seen things like this in stories.”

“Good think Inky didn’t horde it all herself.”

“How do they keep the water so warm?” Kara closed her eyes, sinking into the huge bath. “Mmmnn.”

“Ya still got some on ya,” Sera said, wading over to her with a wet cloth. Kara held her hair out of the way as she wiped gently at her neck. “This stuff’s really everywhere, innit?”

“Yea,” Kara sighed, “It was so embarrassing.”

“Why? You put it on yourself, right?”

Kara didn’t answer; instead, sinking into the sudsy water in an attempt to escape.

“Who then? Hey! Where you going off to?” she asked, getting closer and dragging her up and gasping. “Not droopy ears!?”

“Oh, shut up!” she yelled, thrashing out of Sera’s arms and making her way to the steps and exited, wrapping herself in one of the large cloths left out for them beside neatly folded piles of clean clothes; all the while, Sera held her stomach, descending in a fit of laughter.

Kara stuck out her tongue, tossing the cloth aside and dressing. “You coming?” she turned to Sera who was still floating around. 

“Nah, you go on without me. I’m gonna soak a little longer.”

“Suit yourself,” she called out, leaving the room. 

Kara walked through the halls without truly being there. Her mind was deep in thought, specifically over the past few hours. 

Solas had told Kara to get some rest and that someone would come for her later when it would be time to wash the poultice off; she didn’t know at the time that by “later” he actually meant “the next day”. While this fact did confuse her slightly, it wasn't this that had been gnawing at her. 

No, what was really bothering her was that, when she fell asleep that night and entered the fade as usual, Solas was nowhere to be seen. She had assumed that he would be there the first moment that he could be after the bomb she’d dropped on him the last time they had shared the oasis. She waited all night but he never showed. It worried her, she desperately hoped that it was something innocuous. She didn't think she could take it if he was angry with her; even the thought brought her stress. 

“Excuse me,” someone said, pulling her from her thoughts and back into the reality around her. 

In the main hall, people were running around wild, busy with preparing for dinners and just generally doing their work. One of the passing women gave Kara a quick but deep bow and she awkwardly returned the favour with a shy grin. It made her antsy; all the people running amok, dodging each other as they went. All of it gave her a prickly feeling all over her body. She needed to find a sanctuary.

Without thinking, Kara found herself standing in the no-man’s-land that separated Solas’s study from the main hall. She stopped short just before she truly entered the room, skidding to a halt. She leaned forward, peeking into the room to find it empty. A breath she hadn’t realised she was holding came then; she could feel her heart beating in her chest. For a moment she wondered where Solas might be, but decided she probably didn't really want to know. Before he could show his face, Kara jogged over to the stairs, taking them to the second floor. 

The smell of old books filled her nose and she felt all the anxiety she had previously held melt away. She’d been in this tower so many times before but never like this, never in person. IT was even better than she could have imagined. 

Rounding the path, Kara came upon the little cubby of bookshelves that lined the walls of a little inlet, light streaming in from the window and onto the chair in front of it. She scanned the bookshelves, attempting to find something that she would enjoy. Finding just the thing, she turned, the red plush of the chair so inviting. With a smile she sad down in it, pulling her knees up and onto the seat with her. 

The minutes flew by, turning to hours, but Kara didn't notice. It wasn't until a familiar voice chimed, grasping her attention.

“Ahem?” someone sounded in front of her.

She peaked over the top of her book to see the Tevinter mage standing before her, arms crossed and sassy smirk on hand. 

“And why is it that you have decided to take up residence in my comfy chair?” he asked.

With a playful grin, Kara laid the book down on her lap. “I needed somewhere quiet,” she explained. “And this seat is so comfy.”

“Yes, I know.” He shifted his weight from one leg to the other. “That’s why I bought it.”

“Sorry.” Kara closed her book and stood.

“Oh, don’t sulk or I’ll feel bad,” Dorian said, his hand pressing to her shoulder just hard enough to knock her back into the chair. “So long as you know who’s the big dog around here I don’t mind sharing every now and again.”

Kara made an “oomph” sound as she plopped, sloppily, back into her seat, her book falling to the ground. “Thanks.”

“And what have we here?” Dorian quickly snatched the book up, looking it over. “Elven history of the fade, huh? Sounds like heavy reading. It for fun or homework?”

“No, it’s not homework,” she chided, reaching for it only to have him pull it just out of her reach. “Hey?”

“Then what’s the sudden interest?” he questioned. “You seem to be endlessly enthralled by anything and everything elvish. It wouldn’t be because we’re captivated by a certain elven friend and teacher now, are we?”

One guess and he strikes a bullseye. Kara didn’t even need to speak, she had already told him everything he needed to know from looking at her face; so she went with “Shut up,” instead.

Dorian laughed, placing the book on top of one of the piles next to them. “You’re a sweet little thing, aren’t you? Innocent enough. Does he know?”

“I don’t think so,” she answered, honestly unsure. The two talked in their walks in the fade, but he was still under the assumption that she held no memory of them when she awoke. “Do you know anything about the fade?” she asked, changing the subject just enough to escape his real curiosity but not so much as to tell her off.

“The fade?” Dorian rubbed his chin. “Not as much as i’d like, to be quite honest. I’m a mortalitasi, a necromancer. Solas is the rift mage; not to mention, I hear he walks the fade regularly. He should be the one you ask.”

Kara let out a deep sigh, her head going back into the chair with a thud. “What am I gonna do?” she asked no one.

“I believe I’m beginning to see your issue.” His eyes opened then, an idea lighting them up. “What exactly about the fade are you attempting to learn?” he asked.

“Mostly dreams and the fade, their connections.”

He nodded sharply. “Wait here a moment.” Dorian walked off then, disappearing around the corner. She could hear him conversing with one of the women just further around the rotunda but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. There was silence, then a few more words, pleasantries by the sound of it, before Dorian had come back into view, a thick purple book in hand.

“Here.” He handed Kara the book, her face lighting up. “This should answer at least some of the questions you have. If you have any questions, i’d advise you not to bring them to me,” he said with a laugh.

“Thank you so much Dorian,” Kara said, her face glowing.

“Anytime,” he responded with a dramatic bow, holding out his hand. She gave him hers and he kissed it, his lips touching her so lightly she almost didn’t feel it. “Well, not _anytime_.” he amended.

Kara giggled, a slight blush coming over her face. Dorian gave a true smile then and she remembered how he had made her spiral into fits of giggles; and at that time, he wasn’t actually standing in front of her. 

His grin slipped then, a doleful look taking its place. “Shame,” he said under his breath.

Kara let out an inquisitive sound and Dorian reached forward then, his hand holding her chin. He lightly caressed her cheek as he tilted his head, grimacing. “The marks on your porcelain skin.”

“Oh,” she keened. “Yea.”

“We will avenge all that has been done to you, to all of us,” he insisted. “You know that, right?”

His passion sparked something inside Kara, a little flame of hope, and she couldn’t help but grin. She nodded quickly and he gave her cheek one last swipe of his thumb before standing up straight again. He scoffed, sinking into his hip. 

“In the meantime, try not to run into anymore windows, shall we?”

“I didn't run into a window,” she shot back. “It broke above me.”

“Then do try to avoid windows running into _you_.” He smiled. “I will say, though, he did a damn good job on you. That must have taken quite a bit of magic.” he admitted.

“It would?”

“Oh yes. Healing is much more difficult than attacking, when it comes to magic. It’s not too different from any other perspective. It’s much easier to throw a knife than sew up the wound it leaves,” he explained. “He’d need rest after something as taxing as mending all of you as he did.”

“Oh,” Kara gasped in realization. That would explain Solas’s absence in the fade the night before. It takes energy for him to appear there with her; he must not have had enough to spare.

“Do share with the class, hm?”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” she said, attempting to wave it off. “Just, it explains why he wasn't downstairs is all.”

Dorian raised a brow at her but didn't push the issue. “Have you been to see him since?”

“Not yet,” she answered. “I haven’t seen him at all today.”

He uncrossed his arms and turned to the bookshelf across from her, his back facing her. “Well, if my hearing is correct, which it is, I believe that Solas has returned to his study. I have reading to do if we’re going to find out anything about this Corypheus character so why don’t you go say hello so I may reclaim my throne.”

“Oh!” Kara took her book and hopped up and off the seat, holding her hand towards it as if to say “It’s all yours.”

Dorian gave her one last grin before digging his nose into one of the large tomes in the pile next to him. Kara hugged the book close to her chest and made her way down the steps, a new excitement rushing through her veins. As she grew closer she overheard voices and stopped on the last step.

“It would happily discuss philosophy with you, but it had no wish to come here physically.”

It was Solas’s voice. He was talking to the inquisitor. She remembered this conversation. 

“Do you have any idea what the mages want with your friend?” she asked.

“It is possible that they seek information it does not wish to give and intend to torture it.” His tone was restricted, but she could hear the worry in his words.

“Alright, let’s go get your friend.” 

“Thank you. I got a sense of my friend's location before I awoke.”

“Well, that certainly will help.”

“Would we leave soon?”

“As soon as it takes you to prepare.”

“I am ready now,” he said, walking across the room to grab his staff.

Kara walked into the room then, hoping to get a few words in before they left. She raised her hand, opening her mouth to speak, but before she could form words he and the inquisitor hurriedly left through one of the doors. She just stood there in the now silent room. She locked up whenever they shared a room; Lavellan and herself.

There was something there when they got close. An energy. It felt as though her skin was buzzing. It was incredibly strange, but she pushed the thought aside and crossed the room, exiting out the door leading to the battlements. With relative apathy, Kara decided to just go to her room. Sera had showed her an abandoned tower on the north end that had four levels to it, not including the latter to the roof, which he had claimed along with the top two floors. 

After attempting for some time to read some from the textbook that Dorian had given her, she gave, dropping it to the floor and laying on her face. Her mood had considerably dropped in just an hour or so. She wasn’t sure if it was the lack of contact with her favorite elf or the strange electricity between her and the inquisitor, but she was drained. Kara didn't leave her room the entire night and most of the next day, even seriously sleeping in. 

By the time she woke up the sun was already more west than it was east. She could tell because it was shining right in her eyes through the western windows. She rose, dressing slowly and somberly. It had been another fruitless and lonely night. She was beginning to worry. Either he was really drained from their healing session, in which case he shouldn’t have gone out mage hunting, or he was choosing not to come to find her these past few nights. The latter was much more realistic but the implications made her chest hurt. 

Three more nights of nothing and Kara only leaving to get food and come back before someone finally came to find her. There was a soft rapping at the door; three consecutive knocks and then silence.

“Just a minute!” She yelled, but no one answered. 

She quickly pulled a coat over her sleep clothes, buttoning the front before walking to the door and opening it. 

“Sorry, I wasn't really presentable,” she began,but when her eyes fell upon her visitor she was a little surprised. “Cole? What’re you doing here?”

“Is it bad that I have come?” he asked, his voice soft and melodic.

“Oh, no. Not at all, I just didn’t expect it to be you.” She stepped out of the door frame, giving him space to enter, but instead he stood just outside, staring in at her. “You can come in,” she added, only then did he take the few short steps inside and she shut the door behind them.

Cole looked around the room a moment as if there were something to look at. The room was pretty barren, minus the bed and dresser she’d asked Bull to help her move into it. She hadn’t tried to decorate it or make it her own, she’d only claimed it a day or so before she’d fallen into her gloom.

“Empty. Empty like home, nothing important inside, no. The important things are all outside.” 

Kara watched in silence as he read her. She knew that his strange ability startled most people, and terrified Sera, but it had never bothered her. If anything it intrigued her. Her curiosity at what he might find in her brain was the most she’d felt in days.

“Far, far away. Outside is too loud. Cars? Cars and people and talking. But inside is cold. Inside is bad, ghosts hang in the air. No rest. No peace. All happiness is left at the doorstep. But the girl is happy in her surrogate home, broken stones and chilly drafts more home than home was, but they’re different. They’re not made of the same things. They’re different.” He turned to look right at her then. “You are _wrong_.”

“Yes,” Kara said, stepping forward and taking his hand in hers. “You said that before, in Haven. What does that mean? She asked.

“We are magic and whimsy but you are science and practicality. You are not here. You are wrong.”

“I don’t understand,” she asked, giving him a pleading look. 

“He’s afraid to see you,” Cole said then, seemingly speaking of a new topic.

“Solas?” she asked. “He’s afraid? But why?”

“You are big and scary. Something known and unknown. He disappoints. He always disappoints.”

“So they’re back then?”

“Back for days, but didn’t see you. Too afraid. You make him ask questions he’s not sure he wants the answer to.”

“Thank you, Cole,” she said with a smile.

Kara hugged the boy, who smiled a tiny little smile, before quickly pulling on tall socks and her boots before running out the door. 

The cold air chafed her face but she didn't slow down. Kara blasted through the doors of the battlements, leaving them open behind her. She called out a hello to Cullen as she shot through his room, not waiting for his response. She only slowed as she approached the door to the rotunda, her hand resting on the handle. Kara took a few deep breaths before opening the door and slowly stepping inside. 

As she stepped into the space between the doors she could hear Solas’s familiar words ring out.

“No real god need prove himself. Anyone who tries is mad or lying. His deception will undo him, as it has done countless fools before.”

While they seemed to mean nothing to someone on the outside, Kara knew how heavy those words were. She knew that he spoke from a place of knowledge, of experience, and it weighed on her. She stepped forward and into the room with a confidence that broke the minute she crossed the threshold. 

Without even having to look, she knew. Her skin was prickling; energy sparking the air like before a thunderstorm on a dry night. When the two came into view the inquisitor was already looking her way. _She must feel it too_ , Kara thought to herself, but the thought was fleeting. One of the occupants of the room didn’t seem to notice her; and suddenly she was reeling.

“Was there anything else you needed of me, ma vhenan?” He asked the inquisitor before turning to see what she was looking at.

It was as if she’d been stabbed with the essence of winter. Her breath caught in her throat as ice grew in her stomach. She felt as if she were turning into it, a solid ice sculpture of herself, while she stood there. It had only been milliseconds but to Kara it felt endless. Her body reacted quicker than her mind could and she turned on her heel, escaping into the cool mountain air as she heard his pained voice call out to her.

The quick footsteps behind her tipped her off that they were giving chase and she knew that was one race she couldn’t win. Instead of continuing down the stone path, she pivoted quickly, stepping off the side and letting herself fall. 

There were gasps behind her, but they weren’t necessary. The wooden scaffolding stood only ten or so feet below. She landed agily, making her way to the side to do the same with the next ones as well.

When she was finally on solid ground she looked up, wondering if they had followed her down; but they were nowhere to be seen. Good. That gave her time to get to the stables before they could catch her.

Before she knew it she was on a horse and heading through the open gates. The cold air burned her face and the sharp feeling of it seemed to pull all of her emotion out of her then. She had kept it bottled in order to escape, but now that Skyhold was a shrinking mass in the distance, it all came flowing out. Her sobs racked her whole body. She didn't even see the world around her.  
. . .

Snow fell slowly, little balls of fluff drifting through the air and chilling the skin wherever they touched down, like little kisses from the gods. Kara looked around, confused. She was unsure of where she was, or why she was here in the first place. 

The green sky stopped her fruitless spinning, sending her into a state of awe. The gash in the sky echoed, spoke to her like an old friend, a bad friend; the kind that always want to get in trouble with you but never help you out of it. 

The sound of a familiar voice pulled Kara away from it, then. She turned in an attempt to find it but it seemed to be all around her. 

“I had tried,” it rang out, “and failed. no ordinary magic would affect them. I watched the rifts expand and grow, resigned myself to failure, and then…”

The voice was suddenly behind her. She turned to find Solas standing there, his face thoughtful. 

“It seems you are the key to our salvation.” 

He reached forward, taking her face in his hand. She pressed her cheek into him, closing her eyes. 

“I felt the whole world change. You change… _everything_.”

His lips were upon hers then, the two tongue fighting for dominance as she could feel his arms wrap around her, pulling her closer to him, but never close enough. Kara couldn't breathe, but she didn't care. She was happy to stay like this forever, on the brink of desperation. But all things end.

Kara opened her eyes to find herself standing alone. In a panic she spun around and across the snow patterned ground she saw them. She watched, rooted in place as Lavellan and Solas kissed. She was as stone, both in body and mind. 

His hand slid down her back, the other on her cheek. They broke the kiss only for Solas to shake his head, a sassy smile playing across his lips before pulling her back to him for a second one, and then a third. Each new movement ripped at the edges of the hole that was growing in Kara's chest. It threatened to consume her, and while at one time that night have frightened her, now she welcomed it. But before she could fall prey to it, Solas's voice rang out around her, as clear as day. 

“An enemy can attack, but only an ally can betray you. Betrayal is always worse.”

With a hard gasp, Kara awoke, her back against a tree. Confused she looked around to find her horse loosely tied to a branch and biting the snow at its feet. It was a dream. Or perhaps _nightmare_ was a better word for it. 

She wasn't sure how long she’d rode for, but it was dark and obviously had been for some time. She slightly remembered earlier. Kara had stopped her horse and stepped down onto the snow below; her tears had slowed for a moment and gave her enough pause to look around and wonder where she was only to fall asleep against this tree. A chill ran through her and she wrapped her arms around herself. She was still only wearing her night dress and a coat. She cursed herself for not dressing properly before deciding to go see him. 

Even now, all she could think about was him.

 _Pain_. He felt _pained_. She almost didn't believe it, but she’d heard it in his voice.. He’d ignored her these past few days. Purposely avoided her, even. And worst of all, she knew why. The memory of his words echoed in her head. 

_Ma vhenan._

Kara let her head fall back and hit the tree, another sob threatening to escape as she closed her eyes. She had expected this day to come, but a small part of her had hoped that it might not, but it had. She felt truly hopeless now.

Kara heard her horse stirred, whinnying in a worrisome manner and she opened her eyes again, looking towards it to see what had shaken the mare. But it was too late. 

Hands clasped over her mouth from behind while another set grabbed at her arms, pulling her up. Panic rose in her throat and she tried to scream, her voice muffled under the burly grasp. She jerked away from them in an attempt to free herself but her attackers were too strong. She grimaced as her hands were bound, the rope burning her skin as they rushed to hold it in place. 

The men holding her turned, another man now in view, the only one she could see. He was a mage. He wore long apprentice robes and carried a book along with his staff. She gave him a pleading look but the smirk that followed it sent ice through her veins. 

“This one’s a pretty one,” he said crouching to look into her eyes. His voice was strange, sounding like chimes in the wind. “Good find, Barden.” 

With a nod he straightened and one set of hands disappeared from her only to be thrown over the shoulder of the other. 

“Take the horse as well it'll fetch a pretty penny,” she heard him command.

She thrashed, though it seemed in vain. The man who held her was huge. A solid foot or more taller than the mage and only held her in place on his shoulder with one arm. She kicked, aiming for his face but accomplishing more of just an annoying wriggle. Her captor grunted, catching the attention of the mage again who closed the distance between them quickly. He lifted her chin and locked eyes with her. 

“You're making this harder than it needs to be, love,” he chided and she glared in response. “Can't have you making a fuss the whole way. So how about this?”

His fingers began radiating a weird energy into her chin, like an army of ants climbing her face. It spread up her cheeks to her eyes and they suddenly became very heavy. No matter how much she fought she couldn't keep them open, eventually losing the fight. Her head dropping. The last thing she heard before she fell completely into the blackness was the mashed voice like a lullaby. 

“ _Sleep_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dana ma vhenan translates to "break/shatter my heart."


	17. Out of the Frying Pan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting dicey!

Solas’s heart turned to stone and his scalp began to tingle as his eyes met Kara’s tearful ones. How long had she been standing there? What all had she heard? He felt his heart sink into his stomach as she spun around, slamming her body into the wooden doors and escaping into the sunlight.

They followed quickly after her, but she was clever. When she turned on the stone pathway Solas was admittedly confused, but when he realized that intended to jump he could feel his heart leap into his throat. Frozen in place, all he could do was watch as she fell, her hair the last visible part of her before he heard a thump.

 _The scaffolding!_ The wave of relief that washed over him was breathtaking, but the moment couldn’t last long. The Inquisitor flew past him in a blur, opening the door to Cullen’s office swiftly and disappearing into the dark room. Solas followed, catching up in time to hear the last of their conversation.

“Ran away?” Cullen asked. He stood behind his desk bent forward with his hands on the edge. His chair was on its back legs, leaning against the stone wall; Solas assumed he must have stood suddenly. “Why would she do that?”

“Call your men,” the Inquisitor insisted, ignoring his question. “We must pursue her.” She quickly made her way through the side door, leaving explaining to the commander to Solas.

Cullen turned to him, his look inquisitive. “What on earth is going on?”

“Kara walked into a personal conversation between the Inquisitor and I. I’m afraid she found our exchange… distressing.” Solas looked to the open door as he spoke, the light making it difficult to see but he could make out Lavellan’s form as she ran down the steps.  
“What could you have been speaking of that she would find so upsetting that she would run from you like this?” Cullen righted  
his chair before rounding the desk, the two men following after the Inquisitor, though slower. 

Solas opened his mouth to dismiss the question, but before he could there was a loud disturbance from the courtyard that cut their words short. It was for the better, as he had no answer that would both appease the man’s curiosity _and_ not reveal the sensitive nature of the relationship between himself and Lavellan. 

The men looked over the side of the battlements to see a horse plough through the crowd, the Inquisitor close on its heels. Seemingly without even a second thought, Cullen vaulted over the wall, landing halfway down the stairs below and followed. Solas followed, though going down the proper way. When he reached the front gates he found the Inquisitor and Cullen staring off into the distance, watching as the horse disappeared into the falling snow. 

“We need horses!” Cullen turned, yelling as he walked away, but Solas didn’t turn to see where he’d went, instead he took an unthinking step forward, the snow crunching under his foot.

“We need to bring her back before this snowstorm hits,” he could hear the inquisitor say beside you. 

_A snowstorm._ Solas’s heart was beating like a hummingbird’s wings. _If she finds herself trapped within it…_ he worried.

“Solas,” Lavellan’s voice rang through Solas’s head, pulling him from his worried daze. “We must follow her. She knows her way well enough in places like the Storm Coast and the Hinterlads, but not around here.” 

He turns to her, questioning. “How do you know of her navigational abilities?” he asked.

Her brow furrowed, but she didn't turn to him. “I’m don’t know, exactly.”

He opened his mouth to question her further, but Cullen sprang into view beside them, reins in his hand. “We must hurry if we’ve any chance of bringing her home before nightfall.”

He took the handful of leather the commander tossed his way and quickly steadied himself on the white horse’s matching saddle, the three of them leading a small platoon of soldiers out and into the wilds. They searched for hours, the soldiers never wavering in their duty; but despite their great effort, they continued to find nothing.

The cold air chafed Solas’s cheeks, turning them pink, as he sat on his mount, eyes scanning the horizon. The initial panic that had flashed through him when he saw Kara standing in the doorway had faded, his nerves now at a simmer. They hadn’t caught up with her in longer than was comforting and they were losing daylight fast; not to mention the oncoming storm was doing a wonderful job at covering up any tracks she may had left. Needless to say, the compounding misfortune was beginning to wear at him. One of the foot soldiers approached him then, a welcome distraction. 

“Find anything?” he asked, his voice unenthused and lacking any kind of hope. 

“No, sir,” the man replied. “The further forward we scout, the less evidence we find.”

Solas nodded and the man sulked away. No one was happy about the lack of results. The gloomy morale was very apparent, the whole troop making their way back, morosely, in the snow. By the time they made it back to the gates the snowstorm had begun to set in. The sun had been gone for quite some time then, making the whole endeavor, and failure thereof, more disappointing

Through the large metal gate that protected the main entry, Solas could see people waiting for them; for their return. The blonde elf standing on the already large Qunari standing out the most. The group stopped then to wait as the gate was raised, the metal chains loudly protesting. Once it was high enough for safe entry the men filled through. Solas dismounted once inside, handing the steed off to be returned to the stable. As he turned he was greeted by Sera and Bull. 

“Where is she?” Sera asked, her voice harsh. 

“We searched but, sadly, found no trace of-” he began, but was cut off by Sera as she hit him, full force, with her palm. 

“How dare you bring your pointy eared face back here empty handed!” She growled. 

Solas righted himself, astonished; his hand pressed to his cheek. 

“It’s your fault she’s gone, innit!?” she accused. “You said, or-or did something! You hurt her, and I _won’t_ forgive you.”

“Sera,” he began, his voice steady and stern.

“No,” she held her hand out to stop his words. “I don’t wanna hear it. Until she’s back and safe, I don’t wanna see your mug again.” she started to walk away but stopped, turning her head to him slightly. “And she better come back, or else you’ll see just _exactly_ what the Jennies can do when someone hurts one of their own.”

Solas watched Sera walk away with her back straight. He was sure she wasn't bluffing; he knew her well enough by now. With a sigh, he turned to Bull, who had remained silent their Sera’s tirade. He locked eyes with the Qunari and immediately regretted it. The venom in his gaze was stunning. 

“She trusted you,” he said and Solas flinched, expecting a harsher tone. “She loved you.”

“What would you care,” he shot back, his ego bruised. “I thought you were sleeping with her.”

“She spoke of her hopelessness even it came to you, and I always told her the same thing. I told her, if you were half of how she saw you that you worth fighting for.” His gaze went steely then. “I was obviously wrong.”

Sodas flinched at his words, but the Qunari wasn't finished with him yet. 

“If anything happens to her, it won’t be Sera and her Red Jennies you should be worried about. She’s an assassin, but I am Ben-Hassrath.” He let the threat settle for a second before dealing the final blow. “I would make sure you lived long enough to fully regret your transgressions.” The Iron Bull took his leave then. 

Solas watched him go, his words resonating within him; before he even realised it he was back in the rotunda, staring off and into the paintings that lined the walls. His heart hanging heavy, Solas let himself fall into his chair and pressed his fingers to his temples. 

What had set her off like she had? Was is really his fault? He went over all their conversations in his mind, all their nights in the fade. It didn't take long for a few specifics to come flashing back to him.  
_Despite that, even if you never believe me, even if you never learn, I couldn’t live with myself if didn't tell you how I felt. Solas… I love you._

_I know your secrets._

_Nuva Fen'harel ver em._

It wasn't like she had hidden her feelings from him, though he hadn’t taken what she’d said that night very seriously. At the time, she seemed as if she were speaking to him for the last time. It confused him. How could her emotions have progressed as seriously as she had suggested in such a short amount of time. She had said that she knew all his secrets, and while, at first, he had not believed her, her latter comment was what really had shook him.

 _May the dread wolf take me_.

A shiver ran down his spine and he held the bridge of his nose. She knew enough, that was for sure. Maybe there was even more to her than he'd previously thought. 

Bull and Sera’s threats came flashing back to the forefront of his thoughts. If anything bad happened to her, he was sure they would hold true on their promises. If the worst were to happen, he would welcome it. There would be no way he could live with himself. Just the thought made his stomach churn. 

Before he could truly process his next actions, Solas was up and making his way down the empty steps; everyone either asleep or close thereof and there was no way he would be able to join them. It didn't take long for him to make it to the stable, mounting his steed and taking off for the gate. He had made a decision. 

He wouldn't return until he found her, no matter how long it took.


	18. The Bloody Emperor

“Sleep well?” Solas's voice flowed like running water. 

“I've never done anything like that before; on a number of levels,” Kara chose, replying. 

He laughed his musical laugh and she squeezed in her seat. “I apologize. The kiss was impulsive and ill considered, and I should not have encouraged it.”

She squeed a moment, the sound of Solas’s laughter making her stomach tingle. She rolled her thumb across the analog stick, choosing the sassier of the options.

“You say that but you're the one who started with tongue.”

“I did no such thing,” Solas replied, sounding shocked.

“Oh, does it not count if it’s only fade-tongue?” her Lavellan replied.

“It has been a long time, and things have always been easier for me in the fade.” He sighed, shifting his weight to the other leg. “I am not certain this is the best idea. It could lead to trouble.” 

“I'm willing to take that chance, if you are.” Kara chose her next piece of dialogue without looking at the controller.

“I... maybe, yes. If I could take a little time to think. There are... considerations.”

“Take all the time you need.”

“Thank you. I am not often thrown by things that happen in dreams. But I am reasonably certain we are awake now, and if you wish…” he trailed off.

“If I wish…” Kara repeated.

“We are awake now..”

Her head began to spin, she’d eaten earlier, right? Why did she feel so sick.

“Awake…”

Her stomach began to hurt, badly. It doubled her over. 

_Wake_ …

“Wake up!” a voice yelled and something hit her hard in the stomach.

“The boss used magic,” a different voice called out. “It doesn’t work the same way.”

A wave of nausea rolled over Kara, her stomach threatening to empty any second.

“Well, how the fuck do you expect me to get her up then?”

“I don’t know! All I know is that if you damage her, boss’s gonna have your ass.”

Kara shifted, propping herself on an elbow while trying to lift herself off the cold stone floor. The second her head was at a different angle she could feel the bile rising in her throat and went on all fours, vomiting onto the floor.

“I’m not cleaning that up,” the first voice said.

“It’s your fault in the first place!” the second man yelled back.

“Enough!” a third voice suddenly rang out, echoing through the room. 

Kara wanted to look at who it was, but the idea of moving made her stomach churn again.

“What in the hell is going on here?” he yelled and she finally recognized the chiming sound to his voice. This was the mage from earlier, the boss apparently. “What did you do to her?”

“He kicked her, boss!”

“Wait! I didn’t- oof!” she could hear the sound of something hitting the man, she turned in time to see the mage’s staff reeling back for another strike, but something stopped him. 

Kara’s vision was still a little blurry but she could see the man as he approached her, squatting down to her leve. He placed a gentle hand on her back and she immediately felt better, as if he suck her sickness out of her and into his hand. 

“And how is our little trooper,” he asked.

Kara pulled her knees forward, sitting on them and rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand “I’m a little confused. Where am i?” 

“You’re in our little lair,” he answered. “You’ll be staying here for the time being.

“What do you mean?” Kara asked, confused. She shivered, the nip in the air finally registering and she wrapped her arms around herself. “Why is it so cold?”

“Yes, the temperature has dropped quite rapidly recently; it’s been quite cold here in the Emprise du Leon. You’ll have to make due like the rest of us.” 

“Emprise…?” she breathed the word, shocked and looked around. “What? I want to go home.”

“Well, you’ll find a home pretty quickly, I'm sure,” he commented, standing. 

“Find a home?”

“Yes. I’m sure someone will lay claim to you quicker than normal, which is saying something.” He grinned a skin crawling grin. “I have earned the title the Bloody Emperor, mostly because of my trade. I’m the most successful slaver in Ferelden. But you may call me Allston.”

“Slaver?” she gasped. “But isn’t slavery illegal in Ferelden?”

“Yes, well, doesn’t the legality of things make the demand higher while making the supply lower? It being illegal only makes the business more ludicrous.” Allston walked to the door, looking pointedly at the two men on either side who had been silent as he had spoken to her. “Barden, Moreno, keep our sweetheart company. I have things to attend to.”

And with that, he left. 

Kara pulled her legs to the side of her and a loud clanging rang out. It was only then that she realized that her ankle was cuffed to a chain that led to a spike in the wall. The metal was cold and chafed her skin. She wondered how long it had been on, her skin was already a little pink with irritation.

“Why does she get to sleep in here but we gotta sleep in those stupid tents,” the one Allston had called Barden said, pulling Kara from her thoughts. “The wind blows right through that cloth.”

“Because it’s easy to break out of a tent, isn’t it?” Moreno shot back. “The prisoners would escape left and right then, wouldn’t they?”

“Oh,” the man slumped against the wall. “I guess so. Still sucks.”

Moreno scoffed, turning to look at Kara. “What’re you looking at?”

“Oh!” She jumped and looked down at her hands. “Nothing, I'm sorry.”

She heard him let out a huff before returning to his previous conversation, but she didn't listen in this time. Instead, Kara scooted herself back until she hit the wall, moving into the corner of the room and pulling her legs to her chest. She buried her face in her knees, silent sobs rocking through her. 

. . .

There was no sense of time in the small stone cottage they were keeping her in. There were no windows and the only way she could see if it was light out was when someone opened the door, which they didn't do often. 

After what felt like days, but she imagined it was probably more like one, exactly that happened. The door swung open, showing the sun setting in the west. It had been a little under a day; but she couldn’t focus on that for long. Two figures showed up, blocking the light through the door. The taller of the two swung its arms, tossing the smaller into the room and onto the floor.

Kara gasped, the figure now close enough that she could make out that it was a small boy, probably only eight or nine. She completely ignored the slamming door and scooted towards the crumpled form.

“Hey,” she cooed. “Hey, hey, hey. You okay?” 

She reached her hand out to comfort the boy but he flinched away.

“No, no, it’s ok. I’m not going to hurt you.”

The boy looked up at her then, his eyes wide and his face guarded.

“My name’s Kara,” she tried to coax words from him. “What’s yours?”

“Dominic,” he replied, his voice tiny.

“Dominic? I like that name. Are you hungry?” Kara pulled her tray over, half of the scraps they’d given her earlier still there and offered it to the boy. 

His eyes widened even further, giving him a shocked and terrified edge. He looked down at the tray and back to her again, tears threatening to fall at any moment. “Really?” he asked.

“Really,” she said back, sliding the tray closer to him. 

He let out a little gasp, reaching for the food and throwing it back as fast as he could. She smiled, satisfied that she could bring this child, who had obviously seen worse than she had, even a little bit of happiness. It was hard to look at him; he was a thin, waif of a thing. His blonde hair making him look even more pale than he already was. His knuckled were scratched and red from the cold. She felt a hole punch through her heart. The boy reminded her so much of her little brother she’d left back home, minus the pointy ears. Made her wonder if he missed her as much as she missed him.

The tray was almost entirely empty before she could hear voices coming closer.

“-wants it broken in before delivery.”

Just before the door swung open, the boy pushed the tray away and scrambled across the floor to get away from the men who entered. Their eyes locked on him quickly and the boy began to whimper.

“Common then, boy. Your new owner is here to pick you up.” Allston held his hand out expectantly, but when the boy moved away instead a cruel smile formed on his lips. “Have it your way.”

With a flick of his wrist the room lit up, purple light flashing and hurting Kara’s eyes; she covered them with her arm instinctively. A shriek filled the room and burned lines right into her soul. Kara threw her arm down and the image of the boy writhing in pain on the floor, purple electricity flowing around him, made something inside her click.

Without giving it a second thought she leaped in front of him, throwing herself over his tiny body and blocking the spell from hitting home. She gritted her teeth as she felt it strike her instead, the feeling of it burning through her veins like fire. She tried to stay quiet but there was no way she would have, no matter how hard she tried. The pain was too great.

She screamed out, scaring the boy a little. He cowered beneath her, pulling himself into a little ball and beginning to cry. 

Just as fast as it had began, it was over. The cold air had never felt better as Kara took deep breaths, using all her strength to not fall onto the child beneath her.

“Dominic,” she huffed and the boy looked up at her, trembling. She smiled in an attempt to calm him. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” 

“Well, well, well,” a voice chimed behind her, followed by a slow clap. “How noble.”

Kara ignored him, trying to keep the boy’s attention.

“But it really will do nothing. We’re taking the boy, either way. So I would suggest you just let us take him. Otherwise I'll have to act on my customer’s behalf and I'd rather not do that, seeing as how you’ll bring us much more coin unblemished.”

Kara turned to him, glaring. “Where are you going to take him,” she asked, pulling the boy into her lap.

“He is being sold,” Allston answered flatly. “The little knife-ear will be the servant of some noble who asked specifically for a boy who looked like this one.” He held out a hand. “Now, hand him to me.”

A wave of anger flashed over her, she was disgusted at the gall of this man. How he could find pleasure in this trade he’d chosen. She set her jaw, arms locking around the child.

“Unfortunate,” he sighed, snapping his fingers as he analyzed the glove on his other hand.

The pain flashed through her again, even hotter this time around. Kara could feel her arms fail to hold the boy as her muscles spasmed out of control. A set of hands pulled the child from her, but she could hardly refuse. She couldn’t see the men as they took the boy away, but she did hear the door close, Allston’s attack stopping as soon as they were alone.

The shock left Kara panting on the floor, not able to think of much other than the desire to never feel that pain again; but she wouldn’t be so lucky.

“I can’t have you acting up like this. No one wants a rebellious servant. You must be punished, though I don’t want to mark you up if I can avoid it. This will have to do for now.”

Kara gave the man a pleading look, but it only seemed to spur him on. His grin grew as he snapped his fingers one last time, sending the electricity through her body again. She screamed and her mind went blank, the pain making her wish she were dead, anything to stop it. As the flow of energy through her grew she felt herself drifting away, gladly letting unconsciousness take her.


	19. Into the Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains non-con.

The world was spinning. The air smelled musty and cold at the same time, conflicting. Confusing. Kara wasn't sure where she was, but she did remember that she didn't want to be there. But she also did? 

Reality seemed to flicker around her, the light going in and out, the air chilled but humid, green and then grey. The falling leaves around here turned to snow as they touched her skin, burning her, going numb. It hurt her eyes to look but she attempted to bear through it, to see where she was; and with concentration something came to her. Something in the distance. 

Her head pounded but she looked for it, focused a hard as she could on the green and tan fuzzy thing so close and yet so far away. So familiar. 

“Solas…” she whimpered, reaching out. She wasn't sure why his name came to mind then, but saying it gave her a moment of solace. So she whispered it again. “Solas.”

And with that her concentration wavered, if only for a second, and she began to be pulled away, back into the cold dark. Before her vision completely failed her she swore she heard someone say her name. 

Her eyes fluttered open she winced. Her hair felt dry and broken and get skin tingled. Everything managed to feel sharp and fuzzy, it was disorienting. Through the fog she could make out two figures sitting before her. 

“I still can't believe she's human,” she heard Barden say. “If I didn't see her ears I wouldn't.”

“Yea,” Moreno replied. “It's probably because she's young, though she's curvy for her age.”

“And her skin is so light and soft,” Barden said, his fingers grazing her cheek. 

The feeling of his hand on her face pulled her from her daze and causing her to flinch. Reality snapped back then and she flew into a panic. The two men were sitting on the stone floor, her head resting in one of their laps, which she swiftly flinched away from. 

“What, don't like me?” Barden asked teasingly. 

She didn't answer, the skin in the back of her neck began to tingle. 

“I wonder if the rest of you is just as soft.” 

“You might not be an elf but I doubt you’re too different from one. You're small enough.”

“I hear elves taste sweet. Do you taste sweet?” 

The men continued saying vulgar things as they moved closer, but a figure moved in the shadows and, for the first time, Kara noticed Allston leaning against the far wall. 

“Now, now,” he chided as he entered from the darkness. “No touching the merchandise. You'll deface her value.”

“Aw, we weren't gonna actually do anything, boss,” Moreno reassured. 

“We make the most money on youth,” Allston explained, turning and giving Kara a wink. 

Her face twisted. “Disgusting.”

Allston laughed at that. “That's not exactly what I meant. While we do sell children, you don't necessarily fall into that category. You reside in the one just above it.”

Moreno grinned. “The young ones fetch good coin. People will pay more for untouched goods.”

“Untouched? I'm not...” she mumbled. 

“What was that?”

Kara perked up, a spike of panic hitting her. 

“What did you just say?” Allston asked again. 

“I-I’ve been in relationships before…” her voice trailed off at the end. 

“How old are you?” Barden asked. 

“I'm twenty four,” she responded, quietly. 

“I thought you were on the busy side,” Moreno said, giving his friend a slap on the arm.

“Well, this changes things,” Allston sighed. 

“So that makes me worthless right?” Kara asked, never more excited to be worthless in her life. “So I can go home?” Her eyes darted between the men. 

The men looked at each other, chuckling. 

“Home?” Allston scoffed. “You're never gonna see home again. This just means that we have the pleasure of breaking you.” 

Kara's eyes grew like saucers and her skin went cold.

“Nobody likes a willful slave.” With that, Allston left, waving as he went. “Have fun then.”

All she could do was stare at the shut door, petrified. It wasn't until she felt a hand on her shoulder that she returned to her body. Kara pulled back, quickly crawling backwards until her back hit the wall. The looks on the two men's faces made her blood run cold. 

“Please,” Kara whispered.

“The runway wants us to stop.” The words slopped out of Barden’s mouth. 

“How cute,” Moreno threw back. 

“ _Please_ ,” she pushed again, Her voice trembling, but it only made it worse. Moreno’s smile just grew as she spoke. 

“I love it when they beg.”

They fell upon her like ravenous animals. The bulky Barden grabbed both of her ankles and dragged her across the floor and closer to them. He snatched up her wrists and pulled them up, almost lifting her into the air. Kara squirmed as she felt him nipping at the skin on arm, trailing down and onto her neck.

With her back against Barden’s chest, she was left open for Moreno to come on top of her, leaning in and ripping open the front of her pale blue nightgown. Kara screamed loudly as buttons flew across the room. Not wasting a second, Moreno pressed his face into her chest, biting the skin of her breast hard enough to draw a sharp gasp from Kara's lips. 

With a violent tug, he pulled Kara's legs open around him and up onto his lap. His hands groped at her hips and thighs, finding their way underneath the thin fabric and back up to her underwear, ripping it away with a swift tug. 

The strength of took to rip the cloth hurt as it tore across her skin. She yelled out again in pain, tears flowing down her face. 

“Please! Please don't do this!” she screamed kicking her legs but only hurt herself in the process; the cuff on her ankle impeding any attempt at escape. 

Begging between sobs, Kara was blubbering, not even knowing what she was saying. When Moreno's hands took a firm hold on her waist, pulling her closer, she closed her eyes tightly, breathing in through her teeth and bracing herself when a loud bang rang out behind them. 

. . .

The cold chilled Solas to his bones, his veilfire only helping so much. He sat around the shoddy camp, rubbing his hands together as he attempted to regroup. 

The previous night, Solas had ventured into the fade in hopes of gaining some semblance of an idea as to her location. Just when it seemed to prove hopeless, a familiar spirit showed itself. 

“Friend, what are you doing here?” it asked. It's voice was smooth and concerned. 

“Your appearance may prove to be my saviour. My… friend has gone missing.” A strange feeling came over him but he pushed it away. “She may be in danger, may be hurt.”

“We will help you search,” the spirit cooed.

For a long time there was nothing, the spirit employing the help of other spirits and making their way in all directions; but Solas kept his resolve. 

And he was rewarded for his patience. 

Solas sat still, meditating and stretching himself as far as he could, but could feel nothing. The frustration was beginning to wearing on him, his worry turning quickly to stress, when the spirit returned. 

“Friend,” it said calmly. “I believe we have found the girl you are seeking.”

“Did you?” Solas stood, a weight lifting off his shoulders.

“Yes, we sensed her in Emprise du Leon.”

“The Emprise du Leon? But _where_ in the Emprise du Leon?”

“We cannot say. She is difficult.”

“Difficult?” this puzzled Solas. 

“Yes. We sensed her in the Emprise du Leon, but we also feel her presence in Skyhold, though much less strongly. We have decided to rule the latter out. The girl you seek is in Emprise du Leon.” 

“Well, I give great thanks to you, my friend.” Solas began to sit down and focus on waking himself, but the spirit stopped him for a moment,it's ghost-like hand on his shoulder.

“There is something wrong about her, friend. You need watch, else she may be rejected by this plane.”

With that, the spirit left. Solas was overflowing with questions, but he didn't have time. He started off, as fast as his steed would go. The journey to Emprise du Leon wasn't long, but it was by no means a small and finding her would prove to be impossible, alone. 

After hours of riding around, surrounded by snow and more snow, Solus was ready to give up. He stopped, loosely tying the reins of his mount to a tree branch before sitting down on the ground, his back against the trunk. He would give out one last try before giving in. With a deep breath, Solas guided his mind back into a meditative state and into the fade. 

When he opened his eyes again he found himself in the familiar setting off the fade. To his disbelief, only paces away stood the oasis. While he was incredibly relieved, a part of him could tell that something was wrong. 

As he grew closer the space in front of him flickered. The air shifted from warm and humid to dry and frigid. The green shifted to grey and back again, the Eden was falling apart. And in the centre of it all sat Kara, shrouded in a shifting shower of leaves and snow. The look on her face made him lose his breath; her skin pale and her eyes empty. 

Horrified and curious, Solas took a step forward, his eyes taking in everything as he entered the chaotic landscape. It felt as though time and space were warping around them, it made him uncomfortable. He slowly continued deeper into the familiar unfamiliar scenery, cautious, when Kara stopped him in his tracks.

Even she shifted in and out, changing. One minute she was in the waifish gossamer gowns he usually saw her in here, the next she was in a dirty nightgown and coat, a chain on her ankle and scrapes covering any exposed skin. But what froze him was her gaze, now locked into him. 

Her eyes were glossed over and they pierced his soul. She reached for him, her arm weak and trembling. 

“Solas?” she squeaked and felt his heart speared with ice.

He didn't answer, he couldn't find his voice and his feet were as stone. 

“Solas…” she whispered, her form shimmering and fading away. 

Before she completely disappeared the world changed around them one last time. Between them was a door, open, and through it he saw tents and men but that wasn't what caught his attention. 

In the distance, only yards away from the camp, was a stone wolf, a dalish carving in recompense to Fen’harel. It sent a wave of energy through him and he woke. 

So close. She was so close. 

Donning his horse, Solas made off as fast as he could. He knew that statue. He knew where it was, where she was. A fire grew in him, spurning him on. He couldn't even feel the cold air chafing his ears. 

It took no time before he saw the stone wolf in front of him. He rode into the camp at full speed, causing quite the commotion. His horse came to a hard stop, rearing up with audible protest. The men in the way threw themselves to the ground in an attempt to avoid being trampled. 

“Where is she?” Solas roared.

The surrounding men looked at each other and then back to him in silence. 

“Who?” one of them finally asked. 

“A girl, her name is Kara.” Solas described her to them. “She is a member of the inquisition and I am here to bring her back.”

His words were diplomatic, but his tone was anything but. 

With a smirk, one of the men piped up. “I'm not sure I knew who you're talking about. We've got some prisoners here but I think I'd remember a girl like that.” Sarcasm. 

Solas squinted at the man. He was not above working the information out of them, but it suddenly proved unnecessary as a shriek filled the camp. 

Without a second thought Solas flew from his horse and ran to the center of camp, stopping and spinning, desperately attempting to pinpoint the source. As if hearing the thoughts in his head, a second cry rang out and he ran straight for it. Directly in front of him stood a small stone cottage. Without stopping he plowed through the door and once inside he could feel his heart sink into his chest. 

. . .

A loud bang echoed throughout the room and Kara heard her attackers yell and she twisted to see what had shocked them so; but she didn't need to. Barden stood, pulling her up with him, the sudden weight on her wrists making her yell out in pain. 

In one motion he pulled out his dagger and turned Kata around, the cold blade pressed against her neck. But she could hardly focus on that. The minute her eyes found the man who had so suddenly entered, it was all she could to l do not to try and sprint towards him. 

“Don't move!” He threatened. 

“Solas!” Kara called out with a sob, reaching for him. He didn't answer. 

“Let her go.” His face was serious, the look in his eyes fierce. 

“Make me.”

“So be it.”

There was a lot loud crash as Solas’s staff struck the floor and the feeling of magic filled the air. On the opposite side of a room a small green light grew. A little rip in space, pulling Kara swiftly from her attackers arms and towards the rift. It shut before she could touch it but she braced herself just the same, letting out a whimper. 

With Kara out of harm's way, Solas turned to the men and summoned a fist of stone, forming itself from the main wall ripping a huge hole that led outside. Without hesitation Solas hit the larger man with his attack, sending him into the back wall, broken rocks flying everywhere. 

Significantly afraid, the smaller man made a mad dash for the door, but Solas was quicker. With a snap the man was engulfed in flames, continuing his trajectory outside and into one of the tents. His horrific screams filled the air, quickly alerting to everyone what was going on. 

Panic ensued outside, the only seemingly calm one being Solas and one other man who was slowly approaching. Kara recoiled as Allston came closer, his staff at the ready and his eyes locked on Solas.

“And who might you be, sweet guest?”

“I came only for the girl,” Solas answered. 

“Well it looks as though you have a new agenda. Did you not like what you found?”

Solas's face turned grim, his body poised and ready to defend, but as Allston drew closer his eyes shifted from the elf to Kara. The corners of his mouth curled up and she could feel her scalp tingle. Without thinking, Kara threw her arms up to cover her face and through them she could see the white that came off of his staff and flew directly towards her. 

Everything was in bullet time. The magic inching closer, Solas’s horrified look of realization to its malevolent counterpart; and just as the ice hit her skin, it all came to culmination. 

For the split second after it struck it felt as if she'd been thrown onto a bed of needles, pain stabbing her from every direction; and then it went dark.


	20. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still gonna finish this! I promise!
> 
> I'm currently still working on the next chapter, but I've been really sick so it's taking forever. In the meantime, here's a little chunk.  
> Thank you all for being so patient!  
> 恐れ入ります! >.<
> 
> ~皆見

Hot. 

The heat was overbearing but it wasn't the the reason she woke up; it was the smell. Kara’s eyes fluttered open only to be greeted by a red hot blaze. There was so much fire, all around her. Her vision was blurred either from the heat or possibly because her head was throbbing, and for a reason she couldn't remember. She raised a hand to her head and winced, pushing to try and right herself; but just as she did the smell returned, filling her nostrils and tripping her gag reflex. 

Without warning Kara became violently ill. Her trembling arms became the only thing holding her up as the nausea hit her in waves. She tried to focus on the feeling, on herself and the the burn in her throat. Anything but the smell, she didn't want to think of it because she recognized it. 

This wasn't the first time she'd encountered the scent. She remembered, years back, she had been working at a food market. One of her coworkers slipped while using the slicer and managed to cut off the tip of his finger. There was so much blood. She, along with all her coworkers, flew into a panic; the only person keeping their wits being the chef, who dragged the boy by his wrist into the kitchen and, without a second thought, pressed his finger to the hot grill. 

The smell of him cauterizing the wound didn't leave the kitchen for hours, it had made her nauseous then as well; but this? This time it was worse. The smell in that kitchen was here, times a thousand. 

Another wave crashed over her and she balled her fists. Her stomach was empty but that didn't stop it from trying one last time. When it seemed to be over she covered her mouth and nose with her sleeve, taking a few deep breaths when she heard something. 

The sounds of screaming came from outside the room, but she couldn't see well through the smoke and crawled forward a bit. It made her cough which just made the pounding in her head even worse, but she pushed through. She could hear an unfamiliar voice begging for mercy but from the lack of response it seemed as though whoever he was talking to had no intention of yielding. The pleas soon shifted to horrid, gurgling screams and then to silence; the smell once again taking over and wafting her direction. Between the smoke, the heat, and the smell, Kara knew she wasn't going to stay conscious for long. She took one last look into the camp only to have the last thing she saw be a lone figure’s silhouette in the fire and ash.


	21. The Threat of a Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your patience! It's been a rough few weeks between getting sick and my cat getting attacked by a coyote and preparing to travel to Florida for Christmas... It's been crazy! 
> 
> But here it is! As always, if you seeany strange words or grammar mistakes don't hesitate to tell me. I've gone from writeing this on a computer to writing it on my phone with Google Docs so sometimes my swype keyboard goes a little haywire. 
> 
> I'm already working on the next chapter and will do my best to update while away but I'm not sure how regular they might be. 
> 
> But anyway, thank you for all your patience!

With a loud scream, Kara was ripped from her slumber; a large set of hands settled on her and she pulled away in fear. 

“It's okay!” a booming voice rang out and the grip on her shoulders tightened. “Kara, it's okay! You're safe! It was just a dream!”

Still thrashing, Kara turned to find Iron Bull sitting on the edge of the bed next to her, a concerned look in his eyes. She began to settle then.

“Why?” she asked, her breathing still slightly ragged.

“Why?” he repeated back, confused. 

“I was asleep,” she spat, obviously agitated. “Why didn't you wake me up!?”

Bull gave her an incredulous look. “Because you need sleep?”

With a huff, Kara threw her feet over the side of the bed and hopped off, storming over to her dresser and rummaging through it. 

“Are you seriously upset with me?” he asked, off-put. When she didn't answer he stood and crossed his arms. “You haven't slept in days. You almost fall out every time you sit down for more than a few minutes. When I came in to find you asleep at the window I moved you to your bed. I didn't want you to ache when you woke up. Forgive me for trying to help.”

She didn't respond. Seemingly ignoring him, she pulled out her coat and forced her arms through the sleeves. She was leaving. A small spike of panic shot through Bull, but he suppressed it and walked over to her, resting his hands on her shoulders, and when she didn't shake him off, he decided to push his point. 

“Kara, I'm worried about you, we all are. You should have seen Sera, I was scared she was going to kill Solas,” he said as an attempt at a joke, laughing nervously, but Kara winced at the mention of Solas's name. “You've been a zombie ever since we got you back,” He continued. “We didn't know if we were ever found to see you again. We were all so happy to see you safe, but you looked so empty. It worries us. It worries _me_.”

Iron Bull waited but Kara remained silent. He let out a gruff sigh of irritation. 

“Why won't you talk to me?” he asked, his grip on her tightening. “What happened out there that’s got you like this?”

And that was it, she'd heard enough. Kara shook him off and darted out the side door, leaving Bull standing alone in the room. Something began bubbling up inside him, ready to boil over. He didn't chase after her though, he had something else in mind. 

Determined, Iron Bull puffed out his chest and left through the opposite door and made his way across the battlements, through the garden, and into the main hall. He crossed it quickly, banging through each door, knocking them away with just a simple flick of his wrist. It wasn't long before he found himself in the painted room at the bottom of the rotunda, facing an unaffected Solas who didn't even look up from his desk. 

“What did you do to her?” Bull demanded loudly. 

“I'm sure I don't know what you mean,” he responded flatly, still not making any attempt to look his direction. 

“Don't play dumb with me. What happened out there? You're the one who found her, what happened that she won't talk about?”

“Why are you asking _me_ ,” he questioned and continued to shuffle through the paperwork on his table. “Shouldn't this be something you talk with _her_ about? It seems slightly inappropriate to go to a third party over such serious matters. Or...” He stopped then for just a second, his eye flicking up towards Bull for a brief moment before returning to his work. “Is it that she is refusing to divulge such information to you?”

Bull’s nostrils flared, his blood pumping. “Listen here rabbit,” the insult felt alien on his tongue, leaving a bad taste and almost derailing his thoughts, but he attempted to regain himself. “I didn't come here to have you question my relationship with Kara. I'm worried about her, she's spiraling and I _thought_ you were her friend, that you cared. Obviously I was wrong.”

Solas closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was bent over, his hands resting on the table in front of him balling into fists before he stood and turned to face the Qunari. Standing tall, Solas gave a stern look and crossed his arms, taking a moment before responding.

“I respect Kara’s desire for privacy. If she wanted you to know the happenings of our excursion then she would have disclosed them to you.” Solas shifted his weight and let his head cock to the side. “ _That_ is how I express my care and friendship for our companion.”

With a sigh, the Iron Bull conceded, moving back and falling into the chair that he knew was behind him. He could feel his anger and drive flowing from him with each step. He knew the elf was right and while his anger was justified, it was pointed at the wrong target. 

Solas's shoulders slumped slightly at the sight and he rolled his eyes. This conversation had just flipped on him and he knew it. Reluctantly, he took a deep breath and closed the distance between himself and the brooding giant. 

“I can see that you're very distraught, I'm assuming there must be more to this scenario than you've led me to believe?” he asked, both hesitant and honestly curious. 

“She's not herself,” Bull began, freely speaking. “She refuses to sleep. She's maybe slept a grand total of three hours in the last three days. The few times she _does_ fall asleep, she becomes angry that she wasn't woken up. She's short with the few people she's spoken to, which is few to begin with.” Bull looked up at Solas then, real concern radiating from him, his eyes wavering. “You may have brought her home, but Kara is still missing. She's not there.”

This news disturbed Solas. He had noticed her absence in the fade the past few nights but had attributed it to the possibility for her desire for self reflection after such a traumatic experience. Even he had been truly shaken by the events that had taken place; what he'd seen as well as what he'd done. The revelation that she was not coping upset him deeply. 

“I understand,” he simply stated. “I was unaware of any behavioral differences in her.”

“How could you be,” Bull responded forcefully. “How many times have you come to see her since she’s come home?”

Solas opened his mouth to speak but Bull was quick to interrupt. 

“Not a month ago the two of you were inseparable. She was in your cabin almost every night studying, talking, conversing. What happened?” he questioned leaning in. “I just want back the girl who turned our commander into a tomato for a bet, I want the girl who becomes excited over snowball fights, I want the light back in her eyes, I just want our Kara back.”

The two went silent then, the only sound at all being echoed noises from the residents above, of whose presence Solas was suddenly very aware of. He wanted to help. Deep in his bones he knew that even though he had burned every last trace of the camp he had found her in, he was still left unsatisfied. 

It was decided then. While Solas refused to betray any hurtful or personal details, he would, at the very least, impart some of the less personal details. 

A cough rang out, seemingly amplified by the unnatural silence and Solas’s eyes thinned. He would speak to the Qunari, but not here. There were too many curious ears here. 

“Come with me,” he insisted, motioning for Bull to follow. 

Without hesitation, he rose and followed the elf through the stone halls and down a set of stairs before they entered a seemingly abandoned room. Letting the door shut behind them, Bull turned to find Solas leaned against a table, facing him; his fingers laced before eyes. He wasn't sure what he was in for,but he did not speak; instead, waiting and giving Solas the opportunity to explain their relocation. 

“Now that we are away from that nest of mice,” Solas scoffed, rubbing the bridge of his nose before looking up at Iron Bull and continuing. “Foremost, I must reiterate, I refuse to concede certain details of the events of those nights, but I do desire to do what I can to help rehabilitate Kara.”

Bull raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “So then, what exactly _are_ you going to tell me?”

Solas took a deep breath and crossed his arms, settling in to tell his story. Bull took note of his serious stance and straightened. He was ready, prepared.

“I won’t talk about where she was or the condition in which I found her,” Solas repeated once again, though his choice of words sent an uneasy feeling down Bull’s spine. “They are all things that she should choose to speak of herself, if that is what she desires. What I will say is that it was…”

Solas paused, his hand lifting to cover his eyes momentarily before rubbing them roughly; choosing good words carefully. 

“Difficult…” he finished. 

“Difficult?” Iron Bull’s tone was worried, but the elf raised his hand in response, motioning that he wasn't going to explain. 

“When I was finally able to leave with Kara, with immense difficulty I might add, she was unconscious. I set us up a camp for the night and when I was sure she was safe and warm I left to hunt so she could eat whenever she finally woke, but when I returned she was gone.”

Brows furrowed, Bull leaned against against the bookshelf beside him and crossed his arms; completely engulfed. 

“I immediately set out to find her, and it didn't take long.” He stopped again, his eyebrows pinching as he looked down and into the empty space before him. “She was only a few paces away, standing next to a partially frozen stream in nothing but her smallclothes staring at something quite intently. 

“It was a child. He was dead, just stuck floating in the little water that was still moving. She didn't resist when I pulled her away and hides her back to camp and the next day she seemed much better. She spoke lightly with me and acted as if nothing was wrong. I knew it was a bad sign, but I didn't recognize it to be the omen that I now clearly see it to have been.”

“Did you recognize the child?” Bull asked, finally speaking up. 

“No.”

“Do you think Kara knew them?”

“I cannot say. She may have, but she did not speak of him afterwards. From your reaction to this all, I feel I'm safe to assume that she hadn't spoken to you about it either.”

Iron Bull nodded, looking down at the ground and kicked at nothing. “She hasn't.”

Solas watched Bull, saw his uncomfortable body language and sighed. Despite how often as he and Iron Bull disagreed Solas knew that the two were allies in one category, if none other; and that was Kara. Their beliefs, their political ideologies, their opinions, none of that mattered now. What mattered was that Kara was hurting. She needed help and that was all that mattered. So now, in spite of all the bad blood between them, Solas had made up his mind. 

“Where is she now?” he asked, standing tall and determined. 

“Kara?” Bull questioned. “Last I saw her, she was barging out of her room. Why?”

Solas quickly gathered himself and started off, leaving the room and heading towards the kitchens. “Which direction did she leave?”

“Through the north door? Why? Solas, what are you planning to do?” he asked attempting to follow. 

The two bull rushed their way through the kitchens, down the stairs, and into the courtyard; Solas attempting to explain along the way. 

“Kara is avoiding sleep for reasons unknown, but I can only assume it is due to what she is met with the few times she has. As much as I wish she would deal with it herself, I do not believe she will.”

“And what do you intend to do about it?” Bull asked as they approached the tavern. 

“I intend to force her to face it head on. It will likely upset her, but I would much rather her be angry with me than digging her own grave.”

Solas finished his speech just as they rounded the corner on the second floor leading to Sera's room. As they approached they could see both girls sitting on the colourful cushions. Kara was hugging her knees and Sera’s arm was around her shoulder, comforting her as they spoke but their voices were too low to hear and stopped completely as soon as the men were in eyeshot. The girls shifted, startled, as the two entered the room; Kara dropping her legs and Sera taking a defensive position. 

“Hey! What do you think you're doing, coming uninvited into my room?” Sera snapped as Solas approached; Bull staying back and closing the door behind them. 

“We just need to talk to Kara,” Bull attempted to explain, but while he stayed at the door Solas did not, closing the distance between them quickly. 

Ignoring Sera’s threats and Kara's horrified look, he walked straight to Kara and grabbed her roughly. With one hand gripping her upper arm to steady her, the other grasped her head pressing his thumb to her forehead and her eyes rolled back into her head. 

With reflexes like lightning, Bull lurched forward to grab Sera and hold her back before she could tear into the elf. She thrashed in his arms but was held fast. Unaffected, Solas gracefully caught Kara before she could fall and sat down beside her, moving her to his lap.

“What did you do to her!?” she screamed as Solas took a slow breath and closed his eyes. “You screwed around with her head didn't you!? It's magic, innit!?”

But her screams did not reach him. Solas was focusing on his breathing and blocking out all distractions. It took no time at all before he dove into a deeply meditative state and quickly followed her into the fade.


	22. Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> I know it's been a while; what with Christmas and all, I've been running around like a bat out of hell, but here's an update! I'll do my best to get another one out as soon as possible! I hope you all enjoy! Translatons of the elvish will be in the afternote !
> 
> Thank you! ฅ'ω'ฅ

Kara opened her eyes, once again, to the sound of crackling flames. She sat up slowly, the cold air burning her lungs as it went down. Looking around, she assessed her situation. It was dark out. She was laid down on a bedroll next to its empty mate and not three paces away from a fire. She was alone.

The night was dark and she could hear the sound of water in the distance and, without a second thought, stood to find it. It took no time for her to come across a river that was mostly frozen, and laying in the center, trapped on a hunk of ice, was a small elvish boy. 

Not a boy. Dominic. 

Kara stared at the pale figure, dread settling in her stomach. The boy’s lips were blue and his long pale blonde hair sprawled around his head like a halo in the frozen water. She didn't know how long she had stood there for, but after some time she knew it was time to go. She took a breath, her resolve there, but only barely, when something stopped her in her tracks. Half turned to leave, a thought shot through her like ice. 

_Had his eyes always been open?_

The cold air began creeping into her fingers and up her arm, holding her in place as she became trapped, staring into the cold, marbled eyes of the dead child. They pierced straight through her soul, making her feel more than uncomfortable. It almost felt as though he was a danger to her, a threat. Just as she began to reconsider her idea of running back to the safety of camp, she watched as the boys mouth opened and a puff of vapor formed, clouding above his lips and obscuring then from view. 

A heavy surge of panic shot through Kara but she found herself frozen in place, her fear paralyzing her as another thought came to her. 

_What if he's still alive?_

If he was alive she _had_ to help him. With new-found courage, Kara tried to run to the child only to find she couldn't move. She looked down at herself to find arms wrapped around her.

Before she could even scream they began to multiply, covering her torso. She could feel them pulling at her, causing her to lose her footing and fall to the ground. The hands took no time before they began clawing at her clothing, tearing her thin blue nightgown to shreds and exposing her to the harsh cold.

Without thinking, Kara began to thrash, screaming as she ripped at the arms, her nails catching in their skin and taking out chunks, but it didn't seem to even slow them down, instead they began pulling her slowly through the snow. She turned in the direction they were taking her to see two black figures crawling towards her. Confused, she stared at them, trying to figure out who or what they were, but it wasn't until they grew closer that she could smell them and she understood. 

Tears filled her eyes as her screams turned to panicked sobs, desperately clawing at the ground in an attempt to escape. She seemed to be finally making progress when she looked up to see the dead boy, Dominic’s hand reaching for her and a jolt of fear shocked her still, giving the arms a chance to drag her back to their unholy masters. 

Helpless, Kara thrashed and cried as she grew closer to the charred men. She felt one of their crispy hands grasp her ankle, it's fingers tightening and pulling her closer and closer until she was face to face with him. She pushed on his chest, fighting back the urge to vomit from the revolting stench of burning human flesh, but she couldn't find purchase. With each push her hands slipped away, smearing ash across the embers of his skin. The second man finally reached them then, gripping her arms and pinning her to the ground. It burned everywhere they touched her but she could hardly focus on the pain as the first man’s hands found her thighs, pulling them apart.

Half scorched and half numb, Kara cried out for someone, for anyone; all the while knowing it was useless. Knowing that this would be her end, burning from the inside out at the hands of the men who so easily had plucked her from the snow. She was ready to give up when, through her teary and blurred vision, she saw someone approaching in the distance. 

It was a man. He walked slowly towards her, arm outstretched and grasping a long glinting staff. Kara was entranced as she watched him spin it, the silver catching the light as it danced for him. The ends began to glow and a white light enveloped everything around them, blinding her for a moment. The light tore through the men and their horde of arms, disintegrating them around her. 

The figure grew closer, becoming clearer with each step through the snow. She knew this man. He was the one she knew would always come for her. He was the one who she would risk all else for. He was Solas. 

Solas stepped closer, hand outstretched to her, and she totally took it. He fell to the ground next to her and pulled her close, whispering in her ear. 

“It's time to wake up.”

Kara’s eyes opened to the light of the westbound sun. She was laying on the cushioned couch of Sera's room, her head lightly resting on someone's lap. When she looked up she was met with Solas's soft gaze and she burst into tears, throwing herself at him. He held her tightly, wrapping his arms around her as she buried her face in his neck. 

“You're okay, it was just a dream,” he hummed in her ear, comfortingly rubbing her back. 

“They're still there, I keep seeing them,” she said through her sobs.

“I know, I know. It is completely understandable, lethallan; especially after all you've been through.”

“But nothing even happened!” she cried. 

“There are times when the threat of something can be just as fearful as the act itself. Your distress is valid, da’len.”

Kara held him tighter then and began chanting, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's my fault, I ran away, I'm sorry,” her voice so quiet he almost couldn't hear it. 

“No,” he said fiercely. “The fault was mine. Abelas,” he sighed, placing a hand on her head. “I was not faster.”

Kara didn't respond, she only continued to sob. It was only then that Bull let Sera go, watching as she darted to the girl's side and held her hand.

“Hamin,” Solas said softly, rocking Kara slightly in an attempt to calm her. “Ane eth, lethallan. Ma ane eth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translatons:
> 
> Lethallan - Casual reference used for someone with whom one is familiar. 
> 
> Da'len - little one
> 
> Abelas - I'm sorry
> 
> Hamin - rest/relax
> 
> Ma ane eth - you are safe


	23. Stolen Scent of the Fade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally flying home today and will be attempting a note frequent updating schedule starting Monday! 
> 
> I hope you all had happy holidays a good New Years. Thank you for being patient while I was visiting family. I hope you enjoy the next chapter!  
> ฅ'ω'ฅ

Quietly, Solas shut the door behind him and stepped into the hall with Sera and Iron Bull, his face calm but his eyes downcast, if only for a moment. 

“She's finally asleep. I'll keep an eye on her in the case her nightmares return,” he assured them before turning to Bull to address him directly. “I believe that it would best if Kara were to stay with me for the foreseeable nights.”

“You want her to stay with you?” He asked, obviously against the idea. “How would that benefit her over letting her sleep in her own bed?”

“Because I am the only one who can offer any assistance to her, should she need it. Unless you’ve learned how to travel into the fade and manipulate it if necessary and I was only unaware,” Solas said, his words purposely harsh, before buffering it with, “And I assumed you would be more comfortable if she stayed in the rotunda with me than if I were to reside in her quarters with her.”

Bull didn't say anything to that but his eyes squinted. 

“Would I be correct in my assumption?” He pushed, knowing it would accomplish nothing but irritating the large man. He was better than that and a small part of him would regret it later, but in the moment it made him happy. 

“Let's just let her rest,” Sera interrupted in an attempt to deescalate the situation. “She needs it. And I'm sure you can come visit her whenever you'd like, _right Solas_.” She turned to the elf, her eyes assuring that her words were more a threat than a clarification. 

“Of course,” he agreed. “Moreover, I'm sure she would appreciate the company. She is going to require the strength of her allies now”

Bull straightened. “I'll be here,” he assured. “We are much more than allies.”

“Are you?” The elf retorted, his tone more genuine than insinuative, but the statement still felt pointed. 

“Seriously,” Sera interrupted again, “we should be going.” She pulled bull by his elbow, leading him out if the room. “You best alert us if anything happens; good?”

“I most assuredly will.”

Solas held his arms behind his back as Sera nodded and began pulling Bull out of the hall. When they were no longer in sight he relaxed, turning around and walking slowly back into the rotunda. His eyes quickly scanned the room, stopping on Kara's still form on the couch; her only movement, her chest gently rising and falling. 

The silence calmed him and he let himself fall into his chair rather ungracefully, the soft material cushioning his landing. He roughly rubbed his eyes, his mind in a million places as he contemplated the last few hours and all it had insinuated and entailed. 

Despite how sharp tongued Solas tended to be towards his ally, the qunari was not wrong about Kara and himself. The two of them had fallen out of sorts without him even seeming to notice. It wasn't until Kara had ran away that he even questioned if there had been a problem. Was it his fault all of this had happened? Had their dwindling contact been the result of some affront he had committed without intent? Was she suffering because of it? 

How long had it been since he'd spoken to her, he wondered. How long since she's seeked him out? Since he did the same? Guilt washed over him as he excogitated it all. When was the last time they had even truly talked. The realization hit him like a brick wall. 

Months. It had been almost two months. 

The last true conversation he had with her beyond surface pleasantries, which was scarce to begin with, was in the fade, before they had even moved to Skyhold. He could remember how desperately he wanted clarification on her words after the strange encounter and how much that desire strengthened once the events at Haven had taken place. What had happened between then and Kara's running away that had turned his mind so far from such important thoughts? 

The second brick wall of realization hit him then. It was the Inquisitor. The fear of her possibly being dead after Haven, the meaningful talks about the future and the elven race’s place in it, the budding of their relationship, it had all turned his mind to other things, to Lavellan; and subsequently, away from Kara. 

With a sigh, Solas leaned forward, elbows on his knees and hands cupping his face. What was he going to do. Things had become so muffled that he wondered if he could ever untangle it all; but he took a deep breath and sat up straight. 

That didn't matter. It didn't matter if he never unraveled it all. It only mattered that he try. 

With new-found confidence Solas stood, stepping closer to the sleeping girl and just looking at her a moment when the silence suddenly ended. 

Kara gasped in her sleep, Solas doing the same in response. Her sudden outburst surprised him and he lost himself for a moment before regaining his composure and straightening again. Her distressed face worried him and so he sat on the couch at her feet, ankles crossed and mind clear. He would take responsibility for his obliviousness and help her through this struggle he'd put her through.

It was only moments before he felt the familiar tingle of the dancing across his skin. He opened his eyes to an unfamiliar yet recognizable scenery. A few paces ahead of him stood Kara, her back to him; hair blowing in the wind.

The scene was incredibly detailed. From the feel of the sand in his toes to the briney taste of salt in the air, Solas was almost convinced he was on a real beach; but he knew better. 

Staying still, Solas watched Kara for a long time before stepping forward; only doing so when she wrapped her arms around herself. Her sternly guarded position had followed a very strong one and the shift worried Solas. What was she thinking about, he wondered. 

He reached forward, his hands gently finding their place on her shoulders when she jerked away, turning to face him with a terrified expression. The voraciousness of her reaction panged painfully in him, but her face softened the moment she realized it was him and it quelled his unspoken fears. 

“You startled me,” she said, chuckling nervously. 

Solas remained silent for a moment, just locking eyes with her. After a long pause he finally responded. 

“Did you mistake me for someone else?”

Her face grew resigned then, her eyes casting to the ground. She didn't answer but she didn't have to. Her grip on her arms tightened and she shivered slightly. A surprising sensation sent a ping to her brain as Solas let his fingers trail across the skin of her hand. She looked up at him quickly, her eyes wide, to find a sad and longing look on his face. 

“I’m sorry.”

Kara dropped her gaze again, the words like weights on her soul. 

“Why are you apologizing,” she scoffed, not looking back up at him. “You didn't do anything. I'm the one who took off into the wilderness like a petulant child.”

He stopped her then, his finger gently raising her chin until their eyes met. She held a guarded yet dreadfully hopeful. 

“I should have seen you. I should have been watching. Maybe if I had, I'd have seen the signs. The signs of your burden and trepidation. I could have seen us falling apart from one another.”

Kara's lips trembled as he spoke, his words touching her and giving her what she could only think to be false hope. She made an attempt to pull away from him, to break their contact, but she couldn't find the will to do it. So instead she shut her eyes tight. 

After another long pause Solas spoke up again, all the while staring at her grip on her arms. 

“Do you still feel their hands,” he asked flatly. 

When she didn't answer he became aggressive, dropping her chin and instead grabbing her shoulders and shaking her slightly, causing them to drop. She looked up at him, shocked, and he pulled her into his arms. 

“I will replace them,” he commanded sternly, hands sliding down and holding her tightly. “It will be only my hands you feel.”

Kara could feel her face heating up and she buried it into the soft cloth on his chest, reveling in the embrace. They stayed like that for a long time, just breathing, but eventually she pulled her head back, Her body fading, abs looked up at the elf.

Their faces were so close that she could feel his breath on her face. His half lidded eyes stared into hers and she let her grip on him tighten. Without even truly thinking about it, Kara found herself staring at his lips, her own falling slightly ajar. 

She could feel her breath picking up and was shocked to find that she could feel his doing the same. Glancing quickly back to his eyes, Kara could see the conflict behind their glassy blue. 

Her self control wavered and she pushed herself against him. She could feel the tingle of apprehension wash over her when he didn't resist and found herself raising up onto her toes, slowly closing the distance between them. 

Involuntarily, Solas felt his grip on her tighten, a familiar pressure building up inside him; one he couldn't stop. One he didn't _want_ to stop. 

Only centimeters separating them, Kara could taste his breath. She let out a small gasp as she felt him reacting to her; holding her close. The gravity of the situation filled her then, nervous panic sending a tremour through her and shaking her awake. 

Disoriented, Kara looked around her; her blurred vision revealing her position on the couch in the library rotunda. She turned to find Solas laying against the armrest of the couch and her stomach was suddenly full of glass; the jagged pieces shifting around, making it difficult to breathe. But the feeling was fleeting. It was soon replaced with a warm comfort when she realized that he was asleep. 

She had never seen him sleep before. She typically fell asleep first when they used to be together into the wee hours of the night, and the few times she had gone looking for him late at night he was always awake; reading or something of the sort. 

His sleeping form pulled emotions from her she didn't expect. Standing, she walked around the room until she found a quilted blanket and carefully draped it over him, one last reserved smile crossing her face before she snuck out into the night.


	24. Medicine, Magic, Religion, and Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, Kara's ability to play is based upon my own. I play cello, violin, and piano. Cello was always my favorite though. It's so deep and lamentive sounding. 
> 
> If you've never really listened to one you should. 
> 
> A good Japanese cellist is Kanon Wakeshima. Look her up. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed! If you give any errors please don't hesitate to inform me. I'm currently just writing this with Google docs on my phone so... Yeah. It's appreciated.

A thunderous noise filled Solas's ears and woke him, the volume and suddenness of it having caused him to start. His eyes quickly opened and darted around the room, searching for the source as he thrashed to stand, only to find his movement impaired. 

It only took a few seconds few seconds for the grogginess to wear and discover that a quilt had been thrown over him. He raised a brow at the cloth, questioning its presence for only a moment before hearing the loud rumbling once again and stood. 

Investigative instincts kicking in, Solas walked to the outer door, swinging it open expecting to see a storm outside but was surprised to find a blue sky. 

Puzzled, he looked around the unusually empty courtyard. It wasn't until he turned and saw a gathering crowd at the main door to the castle that he noticed a sweet sound filling the air. 

_I wear this crown of thorns_  
_Upon my liar's chair_  
_Full of broken thoughts_  
_I cannot repair_

Now utterly confused, Solas returned through the door and crossed the room, passing through the side door and into the main hall where everyone seemed to be congregated. As soon as the door opened the sound amplified and he suddenly understood. He pushed through the densely packed crowd until he reached their apex and his eyes locked into the source of their entertainment. 

_Beneath the stains of time_  
_The feelings disappear_  
_You are someone else_  
_I am still right here_

It was Kara. She sat in a chair by the fireplace, glowing like an angel. Her eyes closed and a cello between her knees, Kara’s voice belted out of her and echoed off the stone walls, seemingly coming from every angle.

_What have I become_  
_My sweetest friend_  
_Everyone I know_  
_goes away in the end_

He was entranced. It was as if she were singing the thoughts which had plagued him all his life. As if she were singing his feelings back at him. 

_And you could have it all_  
_My empire of dirt_  
_I will let you down_  
_I will make you hurt_

Her fingers found their way across the wooden bridge with certainty as her bow danced across the strings. 

_If I could start again_  
_A million miles away_  
_I would keep myself_  
_I would find a way_

After a few closing notes her hands stilled and she took a deep breath before opening her eyes with a large grin. The crowd around them erupted into cheers once again, pulling Solas back into reality and he made an attempt to settle his nerves. 

Varric walked up to Kara and began talking excitedly to her. He couldn't make out what the two were saying but when she blushed and waved her hand in response to something he was sure it was some sort of flattery. It frustrated him a little to see her denying it so fervently when she so obviously deserved it, but these feelings were insignificant to the emotion that welled in him at the sight of her smile. It had been far too long since she had graced anyone with it and he was pleased. 

A voice from the crowd rang out asking for another song and she and the dwarf turned to see who had spoken. 

“Another one?” She questioned. “I'm not even sure what to play?”

Varric placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Surely you can think of something. They all really want to hear you play more.”

“I'm really not that great,” she insisted. “And as I said, I don't even know what I'd want to…” she trailed off as her eyes settled on Solas, only slightly visible in the crowd. 

The dwarf rose a brow at the longful look on her face only to understand when he followed her gaze into the crowd. With a contented smile he whispered to her. “Just sit and play what you're feeling; whatever blossoms forth.”

“What I'm feeling,” she quietly repeated. 

Straightening in her seat, Kara settled in to play once again, the crowd quieting at the sight. She closed her eyes and took a breath, steadying her bow and opening them again. She pressed against the strings and confidently drew out a pungent note from the cello; all the while her eyes locked with Solas's.

_When you were here before_  
_Couldn't look you in the eye_  
_You're just like an angel_  
_Your skin makes me cry_

The intensity at which Kara was singing took Solas off-guard. 

_You float like a feather_  
_In a beautiful world_  
_And I wish I was special_  
_You're so very special_

It was almost as though she were singing the words directly at him. But that couldn't be true, could it? 

_But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo._  
_What the hell am I doing here_  
_I don't belong here_

She didn't really think that about herself did she? He seriously hoped not, though he didn't doubt it. 

_I want you to notice_  
_When I'm not around_  
_You're so very special_  
_I wish I was special_

Solas’s rambling thoughts stopped then and his mind cleared, an edge of unease and dread creeping over him. It was her eyes. They were full of sadness and it threatened to bring him to his knees. 

_She's running out again,_  
_She's running out_  
_She's run run run run_

Kara closed her eyes as her voice picked up in intensity, dragging out the vowels and emptying her soul into each note. She let her head hang and didn't look back at him even when the music came down from its swell. 

_Whatever makes you happy_  
_Whatever you want_  
_You're so very special_  
_I wish I was special_

_But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,_  
_What the hell am I doing here?_  
_I don't belong here._  
_I don't belong here._

The cello rumbled out the last few notes and the crowd erupted, once again, into cheers. Solas had almost forgotten that he and Kara weren't the only two people in the room. He rubbed the back of his neck in apprehension, how was he supposed to take these last few minutes? Was he supposed to take anything from it at all? Had he put more weight to her words than she had intended? 

Kara stood, a forced smile on her lips as she chatted up the people who approached her. She nodded and waved off compliments, saying what was expected of her and not much else. Varric returned only after most of the people had dispersed, approaching her with his usual playful grin. 

“You were amazing!” he cheered, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tightly. “I'm glad I called in those favours, I'll be looking forward to listening to you play again.”

Varric always gave the best hugs. They were warm and radiated a comfort that was rare in people. At first she had been worried about embracing him, him being a dwarf and all. His head was almost exactly chest level to her; but he never came close to them, his head always ending up around her shoulder. Though, if she were being honest with herself, she probably wouldn't have minded _too_ much. 

“I am immensely grateful for this, Varric,” she said, picking up the cello and twisting up the standing peg. “I've missed this. It's been years since I've played. I owe you so huge. Seriously, you think of anything I can do as a thank you and I'll gladly do it.”

“Oh?” Varric rose his brows at her words. “That's a dangerous thing to suggest, miss Kara,” he said with intent, smirking. 

“Is it, now?” She asked and turned to him with a grin, cello on her hip. “And why would that be exactly?”

“You don't know what kinda stuff I'm into; what if I ask you to do something bad or risqué?”

She laughed at that. “Risqué?” she asked. “I think you're fine. And I've read your books so I know what you're into.”

He flinched. “Please tell me you're talking about Hard in Uptown.”

“It was hard to look away from the dark ribbons tied around her wrists but her red hair glinting like copper in the moonlight was mesmerizing,” she rattled off. 

“Shit. Not Swords & Shields.” Varric rubbed his eyes, wincing.

She laughed at that, making her way to the door. “Yea, I read that thing in like, a night.”

“Where did you even get it?”

“Bull gave it to me.” Kara stepped through the doorway, Varric following close behind. “Asked about it from Cassandra.”

“Of course he did.”

The two entered the rotunda, chattering on. Varric watched as she propped the cello against the scaffolding and climbed up the attached ladder.

“He got it for me as a joke, he wanted to embarrass me, but I ended up getting really into it.” She laughed, squatting down and reaching towards him. “Can you hand me that thing?”

It confused him at first, but Varric quickly caught on, picking up the cello and standing on his toes to have it to her. The two worked at reaching each other, lots of grunting in the process, and Kara couldn't help but laugh, Varric soon joining in.

“This is ridiculous,” he managed to push out. 

“Well, maybe if you weren't so short!” Kara playfully shouted back, gripping the wooden neck and finally getting enough purchase to hold it's weight.”

“Why do you even need this up there?” Varric asked, hoisting it the last few inches. 

“This is where, oomph!” Kara grunted, pulling it up and leaning it against the wall. “This is where I made a little pallet to sleep for the next few nights.”

“Up there?” he asked. “Why aren't you sleeping in your own room?”

“I'm supposed to stay here so Solas can keep an eye on me while I sleep,” she admitted shyly making her way back down the wooden ladder. 

“Did _he_ tell you that?” Varric’s face twisted slightly. “I didn't take him for the type.”

“What!” she shouted, batting at him. “No! It's nothing like that, Sheesh!”

“Hey!” he protested, fending off her attack. 

“Bull told me,” she explained. Kara sighed and sat down at the desk on the center of the room. “I've been having nightmares ever since, you know.” She trailed off and rested her head in her hands, elbows balanced on her knees. 

“Kara,” Varric sighed her name, moving to her side and placing a comforting have on her back. “I'm so sorry. I know it's been hard, but please don't forget we're all here for you, alright?”

Kara nodded but made no attempt to look up at him. 

“Dorian asked about you yesterday.”

“He did?” she asked, straightening quickly. 

He laughed, patting her back. “Yes, he did. You should go see him soon. He's really worried about you.”

“I will,” she promised. “It seems everyone is.”

“Speaking of.” Varric stepped back, looking over her shoulder.

Kara perked, turning to see an apprehensive Solas entering the room. 

“I'll leave you two alone,” Varric said with a smirk and stepped out, not waiting for a goodbye. Kara was too stunned to really hear him anyway. 

“You play quite well,” the elf said sheepishly, stepping further into the room. 

“Thank you,” Kara stuttered out. 

“I wasn't aware you were as good as you are. Not to say that I doubted you before.” Solas stopped on the opposite side of the table, resting his hand on it lightly. “It seems to be a true passion.”

"Music is healing. It's medicine, magic, religion and truth," she said with a sigh. “Where words fail, music speaks." 

"Profound."

"I can't take credit for that last one.Hans Christian Andersen said that.”

“Hans Christian Andersen?”

“He was an author where I'm from. He wrote fairy tales.”

“He sounds wise,” Solas nodded. “Is cello the only instrument you play?”

“No, I play violin and piano too.”

“Interesting.” He paused then, thinking a moment before didn't deciding to ask what he'd really wanted to. “Can I ask you something?”

“Huh? Sure.”

“Would you mind telling me more about the song you were singing?” he began. 

Before he'd even finished his sentence, Kara could feel her stomach do a flip.

“W-which one, exactly?” she stuttered, silently pleading for death. 

“The one you were playing when I first entered,” he elaborated, unknowingly quelling her fears. 

“Oh, of course. It's titled ‘Hurt’. I was singing the version by Johnny Cash. Though you don't know who that is.”

“You are correct, I do not,” he agreed, smiling playfully. 

“It's a song about regret. It's kind of sad. Lamentive,” she explained before writing some of the lyrics. “You can have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.”

“What about the line before that,” he asked. “And the last one; what are they referring to?”

“I don't know exactly. It's one of those songs that changes depending on who’s listening.” Kara leaned back in her chair, settling in. “When Johnny Cash sang it, it sounded as though he meant it reflectively. He sang it and died soon after. His wife had passed away not too long before and all together it sounded as if it meant something deeper to him. That while he regretted decisions he'd made in his life and despite his legacy meaning nothing when he was staring at death's door, when it came down to it, even if he could start all over and fix everything, in the end he still wanted to keep himself.”

Solas was silent then. The thoughts of this man he'd never heard of before today were so close to his own that it surprised him. And even more so, Kara seemed to understand as well. Had she felt similarly? Did she have regrets as well?

Wishing to not think on such heavy subjects at present, he changed the subject then, hoping to leave the train of thought behind.

“Have you played long?”

“A few years,” she replied. “But I've loved music since I was a kid.”

“Is that so?” 

“Yea. Once, when I was young, my mother was playing the piano and I came out of my room crying. When she asked me what was wrong I told her it was the piano. Her playing was so beautiful. I knew right away that music was going to be a part of my life forever.”

“It's hard imagining you as a child,” Solas commented, leaning down onto the table.

“Really?” she asked. “Why’s that?”

“You're just a very worldly young woman,” he said with a smile.

“Oh, thank you.” She blushed. 

“Did your mother teach you to play?”

“Oh,” she jumped, “Yes! She did; piano at least. She could read music, but I never could. I ended up playing by ear. She worked really hard with me on it. I taught myself cello and violin, though. My mother helped when she could, but piano was her strong suit.”

“Your mother sounds wonderful.”

“She was,” Kara said with a melancholic smile.

“You must miss her.”

Kara nodded. “I worry that she's scared,” she explained. “I know that I'm probably never going home and I've come to terms with that. But I don't know what it's like for them. Did I just disappear and now I'm missing? Do I exist at all there anymore? Do they miss me? Whenever I think about it I just…”

Solas felt a pang in his chest as he watched Kara close her eyes, holding back the surge of emotion that suddenly washed over her.

“I just hope she's okay.”

It hurt to see her like this. Here was a girl who had been doing her best to not be a burden, who put on a smile for the benefit of those around her, who held all this in order to not worry others. She worked so hard to just be okay, she deserved something back. 

While he couldn't to much at the moment, he could attempt to take her mind off an upsetting subject. 

“Would you mind playing something for me now?” He asked. 

“Right now?” she questioned, surprised. “Like, just you and me?”

“If you wouldn't mind.”

“Oh,” she smiled, a slight blush coming over her. “Sure.”

Solas used his magic to bring the instrument back down, gracefully handing it to her before sitting on the couch to listen. He closed his eyes, letting the deep, resonating sounds flow over him and fill the room.


	25. All The Outs In Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Please read the afterword!**
> 
>  
> 
> I have a question I'd appreciate if you'd all answer for me.  
> (also the elven translation will be there) 
> 
> Also, is it obvious I just finished played oxenfree? Cause I did and I'm a little obsessed.

“Ollie Ollie oxenfree!” 

The Iron Bull grinned as he rounded the stairs from the kitchens down into the lower courtyard. He stopped at the bottom, crossing his arms and leaning against the stone wall to watch as a horde children her. 

“OK! Whose turn is it!?” she asked, noticing Bull and grinning. “Alright, Lienna, you go count and everyone hide! I gotta talk to the Iron Bull.” The children all cheered, scattering as she skittered to his side with a giddy smile on her face. 

“You seem good with them,” he commented as she approached. 

“I’ve always loved children. Wanted my own since I _was_ a kid.”

“Oh,” he sighed. “Really?”

“Yea, why?” Her cheery demeanor dropped suddenly. “Is that bad?”

“It's not a bad thing,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “It's just-”

“Here you are,” came a voice from behind them. 

“Solas!” Kara said, startled. 

“So this is where you were hiding,” he joked. 

“I wasn't hiding!” she pushed out quickly. “I mean, I was, but not from you!”

“Oh? Then from whom might I ask?” Solas crossed his arms, a sassy grin encroaching. 

“From- from the children,” she answered, laughing. “You're a jerk! I thought you were mad at me!”

“I promise you, I am anything but. If I am to be completely honest, it makes me quite happy to see you enjoying yourself.”

“Speaking of the children, what were you saying a second ago, Bull?” Kara turned and have him an inquisitive look. 

“Oh, right,” he started. While he knew that he needed to have the conversation with her, at that moment, Iron Bull did not want to talk about the possibility, or lack thereof, of procreation between the races. Especially not in front of Solas, so he instead changed the subject. “What did you say before?” he asked. “About oxen?”

“Oh! ‘Ollie ollie oxenfree?’”

“Yes, what does that mean? You're not teaching the children to summon demons are you?”

She laughed at that. It even pulled a grin out of Solas, who didn't comment. He was curious himself now. 

“It's a phrase kids used where I'm from. It's used to indicate that players who are hiding can come out into the open without losing the game.”

“Interesting, I'd like to hear more about this mysterious place that you're from one day,” Solas said, his voice heavy with some emotion that went over Bull’s head but seemed to hit Kara right in the gut. “I have some studying to do, but before I return to it, I believe that Sera was looking for you.”

Oh?” she asked. “Why?”

“I'm sure I don't know. I couldn't begin to even hope to understand her.” The elf waved it off, returning back up the stairs and disappearing. 

“I should probably go find her, huh?” she asked, wincing. 

“Probably a good idea.”

“I can only imagine what she wants,” she said, wincing. 

Bull laughed and followed her up the steps. She waved and darted up the steps to the library and Bull decided it was time to big the cooks again. They had told him that the cakes they were making would take thirty minutes and should be done by then, but he didn't even make it out of the main hall before he was startled back to reality. 

“Bull!” Solas's voice called out much louder and more accusatory than the qunari had ever heard it. 

“Yes?” he answered playfully, peeking into his little study.

“Please tell me you didn't tell Kara.” Solas groaned, eyes squinted and fingers punched on the bridge of his nose. 

“Tell Kara what?”

“Just please tell me you didn't say something about the upcoming trip to Halamshiral.”

“I didn't say anything. Didn't Sera talk to her? I can only assume she heard that way,” The Iron Bull insisted. 

“Why did you let her tell her?”

“No one ‘let's’ Sera do anything, and why does it matter anyway? You weren't hiding it were you?” Bull asked with a chuckle. 

“Not hiding, exactly, I just didn't think it a good idea to inform her.”

“Why?”

“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”

The two winced, Bull grinning as Solas just pointed towards the ceiling. 

“That's why.”

“SOLAS!” Kara screamed, running down the steps to the bottom of the rotunda. “Why didn't you tell me that the Winter Ball was coming up! I almost forgot about it entirely!”

“Harellan,” Solas said with a sigh, “please listen.”

“How will I find a dress in time!” she cried out, hey finger rising to her chin as she began to pace. “I'll have to go to Val Royeaux asap!” 

“Harellan,” he tried again. 

She gasped then, turning to the elf and giving him a sour look. “I don't have to wear that red military uniform too do I?”

“Harellan,” he tried, one last time. 

“Yes?”

“I didn't inform you because you are not to attend,” he replied bluntly. 

“I'm not to… but why?” she asked, her voice sounding genuinely heartbroken. 

“We aren't attending for the party. We are attending to intervene in an assassination attempt on the empress’s life.”

“Oh!” she explained suddenly. “Yes, I know that! I also can help!”

“Lethallan, please,” Solas began. 

“No, really, I have information that-”

“No.” Solas's voice was loud and commanding, startling both Kara and Bull. “You are not to attend. It is far too dangerous.”

“But, Solas, I,” she tried, but he gave her a stern look and with tears welling in her eyes she took a step forward, shoving him hard before running back up the steps. “You're a jerk!”

"Harellan?" Bull questioned, attempting to ease the awkwardness.

Solas sighed, pinching his nose once more before responding, "it's a nickname."

Without stopping Kara sprinted all the way to the top of the tower, running past the ravens and out a side door. She slowed only as she rounded the outside balcony edge, sitting against the far wall and pulling her knees to her chest. 

It didn't take long before the door opened a second time and she looked up to yell at Solas to leave her alone only to see Dorian staring back at her. 

“Oh, it's you,” she whimpered. “What do you want?”

“To ask what might be the matter.” Good voice was soft and comforting as he slowly closed the distance between them. 

“You know what's wrong!” she sobbed. “I'm sure everyone in the whole rotunda heard what's wrong!”

“In that case let me ask something else.” He cleared his throat, settling in next to her on the floor. “You said you had information that was invaluable to their mission?”

“I do!” she cried, looking up at him. “I know who the assassin is!”

“But even if that's true you could just tell them and still not have to attend.”

“Yes, but their best hope for a peaceful resolution is if they can get empress Celene and Briala back together and I know exactly how to do that!”

“The empress and… are you speaking of spymaster Briala?” he asked, astonished. 

“Yes!” she explained excitedly, leaning in. “They were lovers, and the only way to get them back together is to find the locket that Briala gave to Celene! It's in one of her rooms, she kept it! If she show Briala then she'll believe again. It can save everyone.”

“I absolutely love civil gossip,” he squeed, truthfully intrigued. "And you know where this locket is?"

“Yes, but I have no idea how to guide them to it without being there,” she responded, slouching back into the stones. 

“Well, that sounds like a problem.” Dorian stood, holding a hand out to Kara, who didn't take it. “Though not as big of one as finding you a dress this late in the game.”

“What?” she asked, lighting up despite her immense will not to. 

“We’re going to need to get you measured soon if you want any hope of having a dress made in time.”

“But,” she stuttered, hope flickering in her eye. “But Solas said I wasn't invited.”

“Madam,” he threw his gang to his chest in feigned offense. “Have you forgotten to whom you are speaking? I am the son of the Lord of Asariel, imperium magister of Minrathous. If anyone can get you an invitation, fashionably late, it would be me.” With a grin Dorian once again offered her his hand. 

Eyes shimmering, Kara leaped into his arms, trembling. “Dorian!” she cried, “You're the best! You're the absolute best!”

“Perhaps you could tell my mother that. She never seemed to agree.”

. . .

“It comes from the German phrase, alle, alle, auch sind frei. It means ‘all, all, are also free’,” she excitedly explained, stopping suddenly with a concerned face before asking, “Wait, do you even know what German is? Is that a language here? I know French is a language here, since they speak it in Val Royeaux. Or… is it not called French. I'm incredibly confused. ”

Instead of answering, Solas just smiled.

“What!?” Kara squawked, blushing. “Why are you just staring at me like that!?”

“You are just entertaining to watch,” he said, eyes smiling in a way that was almost intoxicating. “And I'm absolutely fascinated with the stories of your world.”

“Well I'm glad to tell them,” she replied with a grin.

The joy slid from Solas's face, then. Turning away, he walked to the waterfall that was always present in their dreamscape reaching his hand for it.

“What's the matter?” Kara asked, watching, entranced, as the glimmering water bounced off his pale skin. 

“I know that your do not remember these talks when you awaken,” he commented, pausing for longer than was comfortable and causing a knot to form in Kara's stomach. “But I must admit, it is a little more than difficult to keep up this charade of benightedness.”

“I'm sorry,” she pushed out, her eyes downcast and lip trembling. She was making things hard for him in ways she hasn't even considered. It was just icing on the guilt cake at this point. She was already painfully aware of how much trouble she caused him when it came to Lavellan, it seemed as if she were a curse. 

“No, it's-” he closed his fist, looking down at it before closing his eyes. “It's not something I should push on you. It's not as though you can control your memory of these moments once you awaken.”

The knot twisted tighter. 

“Would you mind my talking to you about some of these things outside of this realm?” he asked. 

“What? Oh, sure.”

He turned to her then, raising a brow at her strange disposition and cluttered speech. “Are you alright? you seem… nervous.”

“I'm just worried about waking up early enough,” she lied. “Dorian is taking me out.”

Solas sighed, her plan to change the subject by antagonizing him working wonderfully. “And where would he be talking you, might I add?”

“Dress shopping. It seems my invitation made it after all.” Kara grinned slyly. 

“You are just…” he stopped, taking a deep breath. “Must you combat me at every turn?”

“Solas,” she began, “it's just a party.”

“Do you have any idea how dangerous this little _party_ could possibly be?”

“Yes, actually,” she shot back. “I'm ‘The Oracle’; I was given the title by the inquisitor herself, or did you conveniently forget? Did it ever occur to you that I might have invaluable information?”

He stood straight, his hands closing into fists. “If you insist on putting yourself in danger for… whatever your reason may be, then I won't impede you.”

With that he turned to leave and Kara could feel the tears welling up in her eyes again. “Fine! Go then. I don't care.”

She sat on the stone with a huff,crossing her arms and watching Solas stalk away or if the corner of her eye. When he stopped just before the entrance she liked up but he did not turn to face her. Instead he only spoke.

“Did it ever occur to you that if something were to happen to you that I- that someone might never forgive themselves?”

And then she was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **OK! Question time!**
> 
> Would you guys be interested in a buffer chapter before Halamshiral where Dorian, Sera, and Kara do dress stuff or should I just skip right to the Ball? 
> 
> Please comment your preference so I know if I should add the fanfluff or not, thank you! ≥﹏≤
> 
>  
> 
> **Harellan:** trickster  
>  **Lethellan:** Casual reference used for someone with whom one is familiar


	26. Getting Ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a _lot_ later and shorter than I'd wanted and the next chapter might be as well, I'm sorry.
> 
> My mother in law passed away this past week. We weren't expecting to deal with something like this at 24, but c'est la vie, right?  
> Send us good vibes and thank you for your patience.
> 
> Translations at the end as usual.

“Take a deep breath and stand still,” the attendant said as she smacked at Kara’s arms, motioning for her to raise them. “Fille ridicule Ne peut même pas rester immobile,” she mumbled under her breath. 

“What is she saying?” Kara asked Dorian who waved his hand without looking her way. 

“Nothing important. Just stand still,” Dorian says with a chuckle. 

“Manges-tu!? Si mince!” the attendant yipped from behind her mask, startling Kara, before pulling her measuring tape taut and pulling out down the side of her leg. 

"She is such a tiny little thing isn't she?" Dorian replied to the woman who nodded, shrugging. 

"Well," the woman began, standing and walking to her desk, "Your measurements are done. What kind of dress do you want?"

"I'm not sure, I'm not exactly a fashion expert."

"Well, let us perhaps start with fabric," she suggested. 

"Do not worry yourself, love. That is why I am here, he commented as he leaped up to dig through the sample fabrics. "I shall be your fashion fairy godmother."

While Dorian rummaged through the seemingly endless sample fabrics Sera was sitting close-by in an overstuffed chair, her hands wrapped around her feet while she flapped her legs like butterfly wings. 

"And that would be why I am here," Sera outburst. "To balance out all that _fairyness_."

"Was that a hit at my sexuality?" he shot back playfully. 

"I'm gay too, ya ninny!" she roared in laughter. 

The attendant, making a point to ignore the two, waved Kara over, patting the seat next to her and pulled out a sketch pad.

"Your figure is slight yet curvy so something tight would look best," she suggested, her pencil confidently dancing across the page. 

“Oh, this midnight blue is absolutely stunning. You _have_ to use this for your dress."

"What, no way!" Sera shouted. "She already wears such dark and gloomy clothes. She should wear something bright to shock those Orleasian pricks _right_ out of if their fluffy shirts!"

"Add in a structured collar, they are _dernier cri_ back in Tevinter.”

“Structured collar? What? She's so tiny!” Sera yelled, chuckling. “She'll look ridiculous! This isn't Tevinter.”

"Guys, seriously," Kara sighed. "Don't fight, I don't even know what _I_ want in my dress."

“As I said before, that would be why I am here,” Dorian reassured. “Have you seen how fabulous I am? You’re in just the right hands.”

“Yea, if you want to look like a vazey stuffed shirt.”

“Both of you; can't you see you're stressing Kara out. ” a familiar voice came from the door.

The three turned to find a familiar dwarf standing in the doorway. 

“Varric?” Kara questioned happily. “I thought you couldn't make it?”

“Well, I rescheduled with my friend. Sorry I'm late.” With a grin, Varric pulled up a chair beside Kara. “So what have you got so far?” he asked, peaking at the sketch. 

“Well if sir Fancypants over here has his way, Kara will be looking like some kind of cake topper.” 

“I can see that,” Varric commented as he gave a sidelong look to Dorian. 

He returned the look with a smirk. “Oh and I’m sure you have all the answers.”

“Well, I can tell you for sure that the first answer is ‘red and cream’.” 

“Oooh, Idée magnifique!” the woman yipped. “With her skin, the red would glow!” 

“Red huh?” Kara asked, leaning to see whatever the seamstress was feverishly sketching. 

“No peeking,” Varric said with a grin, pushing her back into her chair before leaning to look at the drawing again. “What about an asymmetrical hem?”

“Vous êtes génial petit homme!” She said with glee. 

“I'm so nervous, Varric, are you sure you know what will look good on me?” Kara nervously squirmed while wringing her fingers.

“Fini! What do you think?” the attendant asked, turning the drawing their way. 

“Trust me,” Varric replied, “You're gonna be the eye of the Winter Palace.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations**   
>    **Old English**
> 
> **Vazey:** Stupid
> 
>  
> 
> **French**
> 
> **Fille ridicule Ne peut même pas rester immobile.:** Ridiculous girl can not even stand still.  
>  **Manges-tu!? Si mince!:** Do you eat!? So thin!  
>  **Dernier Cri:** Trendy or in style.  
>  **Idée magnifique:** Magnificent idea.  
>  **Vous êtes génial petit homme:** You're brilliant little man.


	27. Halamshiral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here! And just shy of 4000 words no less!  
> I figured I owed a little more than usual since its been such a rocky few weeks. I hope that you enjoy it, and just get ready! Things are gonna get a little... Dramatic...
> 
> Oh, BTW, here's a picture of her dress if you're interested. I designed it myself. 
> 
>  
> 
> http://68.media.tumblr.com/c2502eba0962558276de7dfd905d11a8/tumblr_ol83o6vOr81tgmtzqo1_1280.jpg 

The air was crisp but it wasn’t the reason that Kara had goosebumps running up and down her arms. No, those were caused by the slowly approaching sight of the winter palace in the distance. She took a deep, shaky breath and wrapped her arms around herself. Something touched her shoulder and caused her to jump.

“Good gracious, Kara. Are you alright?” 

Kara turned to look at who had touched her to find a grinning Dorian. Despite the humour on his lips there was concern in his eyes. 

“Sorry, I'm just really nervous.” She rubbed her arms and looked down. “I’ve never been to an event like this. The most I’ve ever dressed up was at prom, or maybe graduation. This is literally the fanciest dress I’ve ever worn.”

“You look fantastic, trust me.” A comforting arm came around her then, pulling Kara into Dorian’s side. “There’s no way that I would let you go into that party if you didn't look like a goddess; and you do.”

“You’re sure?” she asked. “I thought you said the dress should be blue?”

“Yes, well,” he said with a harumph. “Varric’s sense of fashion did take me by surprise, but I'm not one to let my own pride blind me.”

She chuckled at that. “Yes you are?” she pointed out.

With a grin, he joined her in laughter. “Alright!” he shouted and pushed her head, moving her away from him. “You’ve caught me. I am!” He settled down a little then and gave her a sincere smile. “You’ll be the centre of attention, I’m sure.”

Kara couldn’t help smiling back at him, but her smile didn't reach her eyes; something that didn’t go unnoticed by Dorian.

“Well, it’s not _everyone’s_ attention that I really want,” she said with a sigh.

Her obvious mournful demeanor distressed him, but his quick thinking benefited him then as an idea struck him.

“Kara,” he said, catching her attention. She turned to him,her gaze hopeful and expecting. “I promise, the minute he sees you, he won’t be able to look away.”

“The moment he…” Kara’s eyes widened as her cheeks flushed. “You really think so?”

“I know so.”

The sweetest of smiles crossed her lips as she looked up at him through her lashes. “Thank you Dorian.”

“Please, don’t thank me,” he said with a sarcastic wave. “It’ll go straight to my head.”

. . .

A low murmur of voices filled the hall as more people entered the ballroom. Solas’s eyes scanned the room, the big dresses and masked faces surrounding him. Despite being encompassed by so many people the space felt empty, void of any importance or content; and yet he loved it. Each passing glance full of secrets, every touch heavy with meaning. The people emanated sex and lies. He found it fascinating. 

The entirety of the bathroom was decorated with muted colours, balanced only by metallics such as silver and gold; even the guests all wore dark shades such as maroons and tans. But when the main doors swung open a familiar voice caught his attention and he turned to find his eyes filled with crimson. 

“My coat? Oh, sure. Thank you!”

Walking through the doors, accompanied by their mutual companion, was Kara. Her long black hair was pinned up with two pieces left hanging in front of her ears, both curled into perfect loose ringlets. She was in the act removing her dark red coat to give to an elven attendant, revealing her cream and red dress from beneath it.

It consisted of a skirt and a corset, both with cream bases and red accents. The skirts red accents were a thick knit material whereas her corset was a tighter embroidered pattern. 

The dress was sleeveless and asymmetrical, the front stopping mid thigh, straight until her hips when it took a rounded ninety degree turn towards her ankles, forming a short train behind her. The edges of the skirt were lined in the same red design, contrasting beautifully with the pale skin of her legs, which were prominent in the gown. The whole outfit was topped off with a pair of red heels. 

Her lips were moving answering some question that the attendant must have asked her but he didn't catch what it was, his entire attention had been captivated by her presence alone. He watched her cheeks go pink as she giggled, a hand raising to cover her mouth before she nodded, turning from the conversation to Dorian who had been holding her arm. He escorted her through the doors, touching her arm and discreetly motioning for her to look ahead of them before she finally turned and met eyes with Solas's.

Her smile fell quickly, replaced with a deeper blush that matched her clothing. The two stared a long moment, the rest of the room no longer existing around them, until they were suddenly pulled back into reality. Solas with a hand on his shoulder and Kara with a voice. 

“Should I leave you two alone?” Dorian asked and Kara jumped, turning to him, flushed. 

“Huh? No! No, no. I'm okay. I'm fine,” she nervously spat, her fingers spastically adjusting her perfect hair. 

“I'm sure,” he said sarcastically. 

The two looked back ahead of them to find that the elf was gone. Confused, Kara searched the room to see him descending a set of stairs behind the inquisitor and followed closely by Sera and Iron Bull. 

“Ah, I see. It is time we were announced,” Dorian explained, holding an arm out for Kara which she shyly took before letting him guide her to the steps. They were stopped by a guard before they could descend down into the ballroom floor, the Lord Chamberlain already having begun announcing their group’s arrival. 

“The lady Inquisitor's elven serving man, Solas.”

Kara giggled at the incorrect title but listened on.

“The Iron Bull, leader of the famed mercenary company Bull's Chargers. As the name might imply.”

Kara perked at Bull’s mention. She would make a point to catch up to him after they had been announced. He hadn’t seen her dress yet and was excited to see his reaction.

“Her Ladyship Mai Bhalsych of Korse.” 

It took all of her control not to join Sera in a burst of laughter as she watched the elf follow the others across the ballroom floor, snickering the whole way.

“Lord Dorian Pavus, member of the Circle of Vyrantium, son of Lord Magister Halward Pavus of Asariel.” 

It was then that the guard moved his arm, motioning for the two to begin their descent. Dorian guided Kara as they slowly walked across the floor, eyes of all those above staring daggers into her. It was then that she could hear her own name finally be called.

“Accompanying him, Karaleigh Emma Fenn. Oracle and adviser of the Inquisition.” The title was strange; she didn't know if she would ever get used to it. 

She and Dorian had just reached the opposite side and were beginning their ascent when she could hear the rest of the group’s announcements. 

“Ser Cullen Stanton Rutherford of Honnleath. Commander of the forces of the Inquisition. Former Knight-Commander of Kirkwall. Lady Leliana, Nightingale of the Imperial Court. Veteran of the fifth blight. Seneschal of the inquisition and left hand of the Divine. And lady Josephine Cherette Montilyet of Antiva city. Ambassador of the inquisition.”

Iron Bull waited by the edge of the stairs for Dorian and Kara, his ear to ear smile at the sight of Kara causing her to blush. 

“You look absolutely stunning,” he insisted, taking her hand and pulling her from Dorian, sending her into a spin before giving her a hug. “Is this your doing?” he asked Dorian.

“It was not, in fact. You will have to thank Varric for this beautiful display,” he admitted. 

“Really?” he asked, relatively astonished. “I wouldn’t have called him for a fashion kinda guy.”

“Nor would I, but it would seem we were wrong.”

Iron Bull laughed at that. “Well, I’ll have to tell him he did good. Look at you, you’re stunning. Red is definitely your colour.”

“Thank you! You look good in it as well,” she said with a grin. “I don’t think I've ever seen you dressed quite like this. You clean up well!”

He nodded in thanks at her before turning again to Dorian. “I’m surprised you got an invitation for tonight.”

“Well when your father is a Magister it’s relatively easy to gain invitations to _anywhere_ , and adding a guest is almost expected.”

It struck Kara then that when she last had attended, in the real world, she had brought with her Sera, Iron Bull, and Solas but not Dorian. This was a change from what she knew. The event struck her as slightly strange. It wasn't the first time that something was different than it had been when she was playing through the game back in the safety of her own home; but this was the first time she had really thought to question it. 

The first dramatic change being during the attack on Haven. Up until that point she had been warning the Inquisition of little events and helping them when they searched for things; but the attack on Haven was big. She had hoped to be able to help more than she had but when the time came she fell victim to the attack and became more burden than help.

What if that was no accident, she suddenly wondered. What if when she warned them of it’s coming she became a threat to the timeline and it righted itself? The idea was one she hadn’t considered until that moment and it sent a chill down her spine. If this was true were other things changing as well? Would she be of any help to the Inquisition at all before long? Could her presence alter the storyline so much that it could spell disaster for the group?

Before she could finish her thought Kara felt a wave of nausea crash over her for a reason she couldn’t understand. Reaching out, she grabbed for Iron Bull’s arm, almost doubling over. She took a deep breath, only barely able to concentrate on the now overly concerned Qunari. 

“Iron Bull!” Came a voice from nearby, pulling the man’s attention from his friend and up to see a quickly approaching Lavellan. “Dorian, it’s good to see you here as well.”

“Oh, hey boss!” He turned welcoming her, a worried hand still resting on Kara's back. "You got anything that needs killing? Because the nobles keep messing with me and they think I don't know they're doing it. This keeps up, I'm going to wear somebody's skull as _my_ fancy little mask." 

With a deep breath, Kara righted herself. It was getting worse, it seemed, and it was beginning to worry her. The feeling only ever came over her when she was near the Inquisitor and with this realization only came more questions. Did Lavellan also have this feeling? She never seemed to let it get the best of her, if she did. And the biggest mystery being what did this mean? 

Lavellan laughed at Bull, her grin flowing with charisma. “Not at the moment. How are you both doing so far?”

"This is all so familiar,” Dorian commented. “I half expect my mother to materialize from the crowd and criticize my manners."

"Is this how the elite of Tevinter carry on?" She asked, seeming genuinely interested.

"You could almost mistake this for a soiree in the Imperium.” His arms motioned around them. “The same double-dealing, elegant poison, canapes... It's lacking only a few sacrificial slaves and some blood magic. But the night is still young."

“Well, that’s good. Keep an eye out for that,” she said with a smile before continuing. "What if your mother were actually here? Where would we be then?"

"Short one mage after he's been dragged out by his earlobe."

"I'm having difficulty picturing that."

"Picture me a young boy of five years then,” he said, charisma dripping from his sarcastic grin. “ _She_ certainly always has."

She laughed. "I appreciate that you were willing to come here.”

"And expose myself to all this exquisite finery and exotic wines? Such hardship." He grinned, a hand coming to rest on Kara’s shoulder. “Besides, it was more for Kara than myself. I may enjoy such events but without my assistance she would have had quite a bit of trouble gaining entry.”

"Not everyone's likely to be friendly, that's all I meant.”

"It's true. You'd think I smelled of cabbages, they way they wrinkle their noses. It's of no concern, but thank you." Dorian gave a polite bow, smiling reassuringly over at Kara.

“Well, since I have you both, I actually wanted to ask you something.”

“Ask away,” he insisted, the two men giving each other a quick glance.

"Have you seen anything I should know about?"

"Other than an overabundance of lavender perfume?” Dorian asked, playfully. “No, nothing extraordinary."

She nodded and turned to Bull. "Okay; Bull, look at this with the eyes of a Ben-Hassrath and tell me what you see." She crossed her arms, hey affect becoming serious. 

"It's a mess,” Bull began. “Everyone's trying so hard to hide that they're walking around in plumage. Makes it tough to spot the dangerous lies as opposed to the normal stuff.” he grinned then, pointing into the distance. “Oh, but that couple over there with the silver masks? The woman's doing one of the nobles, and the guy’s doing _two different_ servants." 

Kara scanned the crowd, quickly spotting the couple, an uncontrolled grin crawling upon her lips. 

"What do you think of the masks the nobles are wearing?" The Inquisitor asked then. 

"They're no good as disguises,” he explained, his hands finding his hips. “And they don't cover the mouth or hide body language, so they're not much help for lying. As fashion goes... I don't know. I've seen dumber?" 

"We all wear masks everyday,” Kara said without thinking, “not just the people here in Orlais. Who you are as a son, a lover, a friend is not the same man who speaks for the inquisition. Orlesians codify this truth, make it visible. By giving each of these selves it's own separate face, they believe they can be their truest selves, unmasked."

It was almost an exact quote from Vivian, a woman Kara typically did not agree with our get along with in the slightest; but in this particular instance she was correct.

“Oh,” Lavellan said, both get and Iron Bull giving her a bit of a disbelieving look. “That's quite fascinating.”

“Good eye,” Bull said proudly, giving her a wink. “You’d make a good Ben-Hassrath.”

"Speaking of eyes,” the inquisitor segwayed, “anything catching your yours?”

"They've got these candied nuts with some kind of spice on them. It's sweet until you swallow, and then, BAM, HOT. Also, Orlais has some fine looking redheads. I go more for the servants personally. Less makeup.”

The strange outburst made Kara giggle. His enthusiasm with such things always tickled her.

“Uh, nothing on the assassins though." 

“Well, keep an eye out, as usual. And watch for my signal,” the Inquisitor said with confidence. 

“Sure thing, boss,” Bull said with a nod.

"I'll be ready, provided the spicy punch isn’t as strong as it seems."

"Try not to get too drunk while I'm gone, Dorian."

"You ask so much of me."

With that the inquisitor took her leave, waving as she went. The weight of her presence lifted the instant she departed, pulling the question of _why_ back into Kara’s mind, though it didn't last long. Unconsciously she began fiddling with her dance card, looking at it with furrowed brows without actually looking at it. 

“Fill your dance card yet?" Bull asked, pulling her from her thoughts. 

“What? Oh, no actually. I've not really had anyone ask. I did only just arrive.”

“That's ridiculous!” he insisted. “It must be because your beauty is just too intimidating.”

She laughed at that, making him happy. 

“I'm sure my lack of red hair doesn’t help.”

“Hey,” he defended. “At least you're wearing an appropriate amount of makeup. You don't look like some sort of possessed doll.”

“Yes, it took more than one try, that,” Dorian joked. “We had to tell the woman who did it to scrape off the first two layers. Now she actually looks like herself.”

The three laughed at each other, the mood quickly lifted. 

“Makeup or no makeup, it’s a crime that you're not out there dancing and wooing everyone in this Palace,” Bull insisted.

“Well, would you like to dance then?” she asked. 

"Oh, shit, the nobles would love that! Can you imagine Josephine's face, trying to explain that we were…” He trailed off, honestly astonished now. “Wait, were you serious? Because if so, then yeah, absolutely. I mean, once we stop the assassins and all that." 

“Great!” she said excitedly jotting down his name on her card. “I'll look forward to it then.”

“Well, with that I am off to find a servant,” Dorian announced. “There’s an endless glass of wine out there somewhere with my name on it.”

"Don't wear yourself out mingling!” Kara called after him “I expect a dance before this is over!"

He stopped, turning back to her. "Dancing with the evil Magister, in full view of every noble in Orlais? How shocking."

"They'll live."

"You say that now,” he said with a grin. “If you can find me ten silk scarves, I've got a dance that will _really_ shock them."

“I’d pay to see that,” she said through a fit of giggles, waving to him as he disappeared into the crowd.

“Well then,” Bull said, clearing his throat. “What now?”

“Well, we need to keep an eye on the duchess. She’s involved in all of this,” she said, scanning the room for her.

“She’d be with the Empress, if I were to guess.” Bull started off through the halls, searching as they went. “Why exactly is the duchess so important? What role does she play?”

Kara seriously considered whether or not she should share her information, especially after her realization from earlier, but keeping it a secret felt dishonest, not to mention the idea that her presence alone changing the very fabric of time made her feel silly. She wasn’t so self absorbed to think that she was truly so important. 

“The duchess Florianne is the assassin,” she explained. “Or at the very least part of the plot. It’s been quite a while since I was here last.” 

It was true, she’d been here for so many months now that it seemed as though her memory of some of the events were becoming blurry. This worried Kara but she pushed the thought aside, making a mental note to try and write down everything she could remember when they returned to Skyhold, just in case.

“Oh, yes,” he nodded, his brows pulling together in slight confusion. “Right.”

The two had only rounded the corner when a familiar voice found it’s way into Kara’s ears.

"I do adore the heady blend of power, intrigue, danger, and sex that permeates these events." 

Kara’s eyes widened and her head shot up as she heard the words. Without a second thought she darted towards the side hall, leaning through the opening to spy on someone. Bull followed her, curiosity piqued.

"You seem more comfortable with a grand Orlesian ball than I'd have expected." A familiar voice came from the area and Iron Bull bull suddenly understood.

Through the archway he could see the Inquisitor and Solas chatting. The elf was leaned against a post, his arms crossed and a flirtatious grin on his lips. The inquisitor’s posture mimicked his as they two playful banter.

"I have seen countless such displays in my journeys in the Fade. The powerful have always been the same. Only the costumes change." 

"Have you seen anything useful?" She asked, her eyes scanning the room.

"No, sadly,” he answered. “I do not have the look of one of the elven servants, or I might well be invisible. I wonder how masked men live their lives without ever seeing that servants have an entire society of their own. If you want to find something useful, I would pay attention to what the servants do." 

He was right on that sense. Despite his very elfy nature, Solas did not have the look or the presence of a servant. He was much too confident.

"Have you encountered any trouble with the nobles?" Lavellan asked, sounding genuinely concerned. 

"The Orlesians do not quite know what to make of me,” Solas retorted with a chuckle. “I have kept to myself for fear of giving them some purchase to cling to. The food and drink are excellent, however, and the servants have been happy to refill my glass." 

"Do you have any interest in dancing?" She asked then, her grin returning. 

"A great deal,” he began, but Bull began to notice what sounded like his speech doubling over and he turned to see Kara staring off into the ballroom, a melancholy look on her face as she spoke the words he was saying along with him.

“Although dancing with an elven apostate would win you few favours with the court,” the two said at the same time. “Perhaps once our business here is done.”

She’d played this section so many times, talked to Solas so many times, that she knew this conversation by heart. It had always been one that brought giddiness to hear heart, but now it only caused it to sink further and further into her stomach.

“Kara,” Bull whispered, but she didn't look up at him. Instead, she crossed her arms and closed her eyes, fighting back some emotion from escaping. It made something twist inside him.

"I'll be back," he heard the Inquisitor say and he perked back up. He quickly pulled Kara to his chest, lifting her off the ground slightly and skipping out of sight, down the hall.

"Hunt well," he heard the elf say as they parted. Solas watched her as she left, a lingering smile on his lips. Bull couldn’t help but want to rip it off; but his attention was quickly pulled back to the small woman in his arms.

“Bull?” She asked, looking up at him quizzically. 

“She was coming this way,” he answered quickly. “I figured that you wouldn’t want them to see you.” 

“Oh,” she said looking down. “Thanks.” She reached down, brushing non-existent dust off her dress in order to not have to make eye contact. She always felt guilty when Iron Bull went out of his way for her when it came to Solas. She felt as though she was imposing on him. 

The feeling was fleeting though, as she then heard a hushed conversation not but a few feet away between two elf servants.

"He hasn’t made the pickup. It's been hours," one voice said. She turned then, listening intently while trying to seem inconspicuous. Iron Bull quickly caught on and began listening himself.

"He went into the servants' wing. Nobody's come out of there all night."

"I'll tell Briala we have a situation."

The two dispersed and Bull waited until they were out of earshot to question Kara.

“What was that about?” he asked. “I’m assuming that was important?”

“Yes,” she answered, starting off down the hall with Bull not far behind. “We need to find the Inquisitor, now.”


	28. A Friend to Confide in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS TOOK FOREVER I'M SO SORRY!
> 
> I have no excuse, I'm sorry. I've been out of sorts, but I'm hoping to get back into a routine and start getting these chapters out at reasonable times again.   
> This one's got some character stuff and the next ones gonna have some action so be prepared! The ball's not over yet!

“You are _absolutely_ joking, right now,” Kara insisted, brows pulled together and hands on her hips.

“This looks to be the entrance to the servant’s quarters,” Lavellan commented, turning to Sera for confirmation, who nodded in response.

“This is it, what all the other elves have been yipping about.” She dropped the bag she had been carrying with a hard look in her eye. “Let’s get in there and fuck some people up, yeah?”

“Good job on catching the location, Kara,” Lavellan said, praising her, but she didn't hear it; she was too focused in her anger.

“This shouldn’t take long,” Bull tried, his hands up in a verbal defense.

“So, what then? I just wait out here, all by myself?”

“It would be a great deal safer if you did,” a voice came from behind her. She turned to see Solas and Dorian behind her. “It would calm me considerably knowing you were out of harm’s way.”

“Oh.” Kara blushed and looked down at her fingers, twisting them around each other, the response frustrating bull more than he liked.

“Yea, I-I guess,” she stuttered, her throat tight and her hands clammy.

What was going on with her today? She held her own in conversations with Solas all the time, why was she suddenly back to a twelve year old’s crush again? She concluded that it must have something to do with the combined fact that they were both dressed up and she and the Inquisitor were in such a close proximity, which always messed her up. Yea, that had to be it.

“I’m just worried because I know what you guys are getting yourselves into in there,” she tried to explain.

“Did you not tell the Inquisitor everything you knew?”

“No, I did!” She insisted.

“Then we should be fine,” he said with a reassuring smile, his brow rising when her expression dropped. “Unless that’s not the real reason you are apprehensive?”

“I guess I'm nervous about being alone out here. I don’t know anyone and I mean, there _is_ an assassin on the loose.” She gave him an innocent smile, phishing. “I’d be fine if I wasn't alone.”

“If it would make the lady feel better,” Dorian said, stepping out from behind the elf. “I can wait with Kara out here?”

“I think the four of us would be fine,” Lavellan agreed with a grin. “I would feel more comfortable with someone watching her as well; we don’t know who might attempt to take advantage of our absence.”

“It’s okay, I’ll stay.” Without being prompted, Iron Bull chimed in. “I’d be more comfortable if I were staying.”

The entire group then turned to him, then; an awkward silence ensuing.

“Don’t you trust her with me?” Dorian asked with a quizzical smile.

“You’re a little bit necessary, Bull?” Lavellan’s voice pitched up at the end. “Two rogues and two mages isn’t the best idea for a party. We need your warrior training. You wouldn’t have us going into battle unprepared would you?”

“No,” he let out an exasperated sigh.

“Well, that settles it then.” Dorian nodded, turning to Kara only to find himself face to face with a very nice glare that stopped him in his tracks.

“Well,” the inquisitor stated in an attempt break the awkward tension. “We should get going.” She swiftly

Solas and Sera nodded, the duo stepping through the doorway without a second thought; Iron Bull on the other hand lingered a moment before turning to follow.

“Have fun you two!” Sera yelled just as the door shut, and then they were alone.

There was a moment of silence as the two stood there, just staring at each other, before Dorian finally spoke.

“So why the death glare, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Glare?” she spat back, turning and walking back up the stairs to the outer rooms. “I’m not glaring.”

With a sly grin, Dorian followed close behind Kara. “Are you sure that nothing's bothering you? Because, and please correct me if I'm wrong, I _think_ that what might be bothering you is the fact that you're currently being escorted to the back courtyard by the wrong mage.”

Kara perked up at that but kept walking. It didn't skip past Dorian. He decided to push it a little further. 

“Oh, I'm sure you know who I'm talking about,” he teased, following Kara outside. “He's bald, has quite pointy ears, and tight, lithe legs that go on forever.” 

Kara blushed but kept en route to the back of the crowd. 

Dorian giggled at a thought before deciding to say it; leaning on the fountain and turning to Kara before dropping the cherry on top. “Not to mention the tight little butt that's attached to those legs.”

That one got her; her hand hesitating over the trellis for a moment before she was able to grab it. “I’m certain that I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His snarky grin softened at the sight. It was fun to mess with her but it genuinely warmed his heart to see her so frazzled over his friend. “To quote Sera, you are so in it.”

“I’m certain that I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said again.

“You can keep saying it but it won’t make it true.” He waved his hand at her. “You’re incredibly obvious. I’m surprised he hasn’t realized it himself.”

She turned to him, her gaze quizzical. “What do you mean?”

“Or if he has then he’s quite good at hiding the fact.” Dorian looked down at a coin that had been resting on the stone edge of the fountain and twirled it in his fingers. “Which, if true, he very well may be doing to spare you.”

“Spare me?” she asked.

“Yes,” he replied, flicking the coin into the air with his thumb. It tumbled over itself in the air in a perfect arc before landing in the water with a satisfying bloop. “I could see him doing it to spare your feelings.”

“My feelings,” she sighed under her breath.

“Although,” he said, sinking into his hip. “That doesn’t much sound like him.”

“How so?”

“Solas, being the scientific mind he is, I would imagine would have talked to you about it, if for no other reason than to let you down gently.”

Kara remained silent, looking down at her feet.

“Has he spoken to you regarding such matters?”

She shook her head.

“Interesting.” Dorian sat down, his chin resting in his fingers in thought. “I can’t imagine that he is unaware.” 

Kara stood in silence, resting her forehead against the soft leaves of the vines. 

“With him and the inquisitor being involved as they are, I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t dissuade the situation, that is, unless he doesn’t want to; which seems out of character. But, once again, that all relies on the determining factor that he knows and has been keeping silent on the matter.”

“He knows,” Kara finally blurted out, her hand painfully tight around the white wood, knuckles fading to match. “I told him.

“You told him?” he asked, his brows pulling together before his eyes widened in realization of her statement. “You told him that you loved him?”

“Yes.”

“When?” he asked, astonished.

“It was a long time ago.”

“How long ago?”

“Before Skyhold.”

The two remained in silence for a long time. Kara full of self-loathing and Dorian in astonished disbelief. He looked down at his feet, his mind racing. 

“Back in haven?” he reeled. “That was so long ago? That would mean he’s kept quiet about it all this time. Are you sure that he understood what your intent was?”

She shrugged. “I wasn't exactly sly about it,” she admitted.

“What did you say?”

“Um,” she thought a moment. “I think my exact words were, ‘I couldn’t live with myself if didn't tell you how I felt; Solas, I love you.” 

They were once again silent for a few seconds before she exasperatedly added, “I think I even held his face when I said it.”

“Well,” Dorian huffed. “Where did this even happen? I don’t remember any kind of awkward aftermath.”

“It was in the fade,” she shyly admitted.

“Oh.” His face twisted in confusion. “I must admit, I do not understand.”

She sighed. She had only really talked about this with Bull. She trusted him so implicitly, it was natural to have talked to him about it all in the beginning, but lately things had shifted. She and the Qunari didn't talk much about personal topics anymore. She wasn’t sure what it was, but something had shifted in their relationship, something that made their friendship strained. 

If she were going to be honest with herself it would really help to have someone to talk to about all of this, and of all the people she knew here she truly did trust Dorian. He was kind, thoughtful, and soft hearted; not to mention a mage. Even if his knowledge in the subject of the fade _was_ limited, he understood it more than others. And of all of her friends, he knew the torture of heartbreak better than most. With a deep breath she made the decision to open up to him.

“Dorian,” she started, turning to him and looking him in the eye. “At night, when I go to sleep, I don’t dream.”

He straightened, his interest piqued. 

“Every night, when I go to bed, I wake up in the fade. I don’t know why, but I do. Many of those nights, Solas joins me.” She took another reassuring breath, looking down at her fingers, twisting them around each other. “More in the beginning than lately, I'll admit, but he still does quite often.”

“You have _clandestine meetings in your dreams_?” he asked. “You must both be good at keeping secrets, seeing as how no one else has noticed?”

“Solas is under the impression that I have no memory of these meetings once I wake up.”

Dorian’s eyes widened at that. He didn't say anything for a long time, the silence weighing on Kara. After what seemed like forever he finally opened his mouth to speak once more.

“So you’re implying that, as far as Solas is aware, you two have been meeting at night in the fade and he has been keeping it a secret from not only you, but the inquisitor as well?”

She gave a quick nod, not looking back up at him. 

“And in one of those meetings you told him that you loved him.”

She nodded once more.

Dorian did the same, only slowly, letting the situation sink in. “Have you _talked_ to him about it since?”

“Of course not! If that were the case we wouldn’t be having this conversation!” She shouted, drawing the attention of a few close bystanders. She lowered her voice then. “Not to mention that would mean that he would know that I remember everything after waking up.”

“Well, I didn't necessarily mean speaking about it in this world. You haven’t talked about it in the fade either?”

“No,” she admitted, her tone dark. “There’s been so much that’s happened since then. Haven fell, we moved to Skyhold, the raiders, the mages he and the inquisitor got together…” she trailed off.

“Now that you mention it, they didn’t become an item until after the move, didn't they?” he mentioned delicately.

“Yes, but I knew it was going to happen. It’s one of the reasons that I told him the way I did.” Kara leaned against the trellis and looked up at the night sky. “I knew that he would fall in love with her. I’ve always known. I assumed that if I told him in the fade that he could choose to feign ignorance if that’s what he wanted; and obviously it was.”

“And that’s why you ran away before, isn’t it?”

“Don’t say it like that,” she scoffed under her breath. “It makes me sound like a petulant child.”

“I assure you I didn't mean it that way.”

“Well, intent or no intent, you’re correct. I overheard the two talking about a rendezvous in the fade where they kissed. It… upset me more than I thought it would. I knew that it was going to happen, I'm not sure what I expected.”

“Well, after a declaration of love, I could see one becoming upset at such an event. Especially with it happening in the fade. I’m sure the place must feel special to you.”

“I’ll admit, it is very… sacred feeling.” She sighed, her face relaxing into a dreamy smile as she let her mind go to their meeting place. “It’s beautiful; like an oasis. There are cliffs surrounding it and mossy stones to sit on. There’s even a waterfall. It’s like heaven.”

“Sounds very romantic,” Dorian agreed.

Kara sighed, she missed him. It was a strange feeling. It wasn't like she missed something that she had with him personally, she missed how it had been before; sitting on her couch, playing the game, exasperating all talking points with him until she’d just get the Solas equivalent of the “calibrations”. She missed when him flirting with the inquisitor didn't make her chest feel like it was caving in because _she was_ the inquisitor.

The feeling of dread and sadness washing over her pulled the smile from her lips. “Yea, it is.” She sighed and turned back to the trellis, getting a good grip on it and hooking her foot in the bottom before pushing herself up and taking another handful of wood and vines.

“Whoa!” Dorian stood quickly, his hands rising to catch her if need be. “What are you doing!?”

“Keep an eye out and tell me if anyone looks this way,” she harshly whispered at him. “Though, I guess it doesn’t really matter if anyone sees me, _my_ reputation doesn’t matter.” She laughed at the thought.

“I’m not exactly concerned about your reputation at the moment,” he shot back. “I’m a little more worried about what Iron Bull will do to me if you falling to your death on my watch!”

“It’s fine; I'm a very good climber.”

“Even in a ball gown!?”

“This doesn't have a front, I'm fine.”

“I’m so glad you think you’re fine! I’m about to have a heart attack!” 

“Well, take a deep breath and get ready to follow me because we need to get up to that landing.” She pointed up above them and the mage followed, seeing but not comprehending.

“And why do we need to get up there?” he asked.

“Because that’s where we’re going to find the locket from Briala.”

“Well,” he sighed, giving up. “If we’re going to do this then this is the least I can do.”

Kara felt her skin tingle a moment and took in a sharp breath as her hands faded before her. Before she knew it she was almost completely invisible. She turned to see Dorian beginning to scale the wall beside her, quickly catching up.

“Come on, let’s save the kingdom,” he said with his usual grin plastered on his face. 

She smiled back, her spirits lifting with each new moment. She had a purpose, and that was enough for now.


	29. A Very Merry Andrew (part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One particular part of this chapter is proving difficult so instead of making you all wait I'm just gonna upload in parts. 
> 
> Also I'll write a little bit in the afterword too, based on a response to a comment from earlier.

“Over here!” Kara yelled, running through a set of doors and disappearing from Dorian's sight. By the time he caught up Kara was shoulder deep in an open chest. 

“You’re not planning on stealing from the Empress, are you?”

“What?” she asked, turning to give him an astonished look. “Of course not!” She scoffed and returned to her digging.

“Then what, may I ask, _are_ you doing?”

“Looking… for…” she drug out the answer as she dug just a little further down before yipping triumphantly and throwing a hand in the air. “This!”

Dorian jumped back a step, startled, before seeing the glinting object in her hand. “Is that?”

“It’s the locket!” she shouted. “Briala gave the Empress this locked to symbolize their love! This is the key to peace in the kingdom!”

Dorian opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a loud crashing sound followed by a scream. The two quickly turned to the open door, adrenalin pumping. Without even thinking, Kara was up and out of the room with Dorian right behind her.

“Kara!” he yelled after her, more scared at the idea of her running into the danger than of the danger itself. 

I _Stupid, stupid, STUPID!_ Kara berated herself. She had been so excited about finding the necklace that she’d forgotten entirely about the OTHER main thing that happened in these bedrooms. Why was she running towards the screaming? She knew what she was getting herself into. She knew she would be more trouble than help but something inside her had lashed out at the sound.

The door banged against the wall as Kara threw herself into the room and darted in, her eyes meeting those of the masked harlequin who was holding a blade to the throat of a poor defenseless elf servant. Without a second thought she darted at the attacker, only worried about the scared girl in her arms.

The masked woman quickly dropped her target, her leg swinging out and knocking Kara off her feet. She tried to steady herself but the harlequin was understandably faster; grabbing her by her hair and pulling her back up, her blade making a fast track to her chest.

It was then that Dorian clumsily made his way through the door, eyes wide and full of terror. 

“No!” he yelled, his hand outstretching and sending a blast of energy that struck the two of them, knocking the two daggers from her hands and sending Kara plunging into her whole body. 

Having blocked most of the blow, Kara was a little taken aback, the wind having been knocked out of her; but the harlequin was quick to recover, swiftly pulling out a misericorde from a holster on her leg. It was at Kara’s throat before she could even attempt at escaping and she could feel the tight grip of the woman’s other hand laced through her corset ties.

“Alright,” Dorian said in a calm voice, his hands outstretched in a passive manner. “Let’s be reasonable here.”

Looking around for anything that could help her Kara saw the elf girl scooting back and away, now a safe distance from the ruckus, and a small wave of relief rolled over her; but she was promptly brought back into the moment at the cold feeling of metal pressing against her skin. 

“Dorian!” she called out and winced, the steel biting into her skin.

“Just let her go,” he begged while somehow keeping a commanding tone. “Let her go and we’ll let you leave.”

The mysterious woman slowly shook her head behind her, but Kara couldn’t see that; she only saw the look shift on Dorian’s face from guarded worry to real fear and she could feel her stomach drop. It wasn't seconds after that Kara could feel herself being pulled backwards and the real panic began to set in as two of them glided backwards.

It seemed as though everything had fallen into slow motion. Dorian darting forward, hand reaching out for Kara with her own reaching back. The ground coming out from under her as she fell into her captor’s arms. The cool night breeze hitting her neck as they fell through the open air, tumbling out the window. And the windowsill coming up rapidly and blocking Dorian from view, his fingers inches from the edge of her dress; the image of the duo falling being burned into his realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, if anyone was wondering a "Merry Andrew" is another name for a jester or a harlequin. 
> 
> Second, here's my explanation for the comment on watching a character romance another character who you created. 
> 
> So this idea of entering the game along side the main character actually came about when I was playing Mass Effect. But I decided to write this one instead. (though I do have parts of the ME one written. If anyone's interested drop a comment and I'll upload them separate on here for you to read.)
> 
> But also, the idea of it at all came about because I have this problem where I fall in love with fictional characters. It's like... Hard to explain. I've talked to a doctor about it but it's not as bad as it could be. I know the difference between reality and fiction, but it still happens and can get really depressing.   
> It's not fun. But it fuels the writing spirit so I'm not complaining. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed learning about me.


	30. Situation D'Otage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Here is the long awaited conclusion to Halamshiral.  
> Also, since I explain the elvish in the chapter this time around, I wont be putting the definitions at the end. If it becomes too confusing just tell me in the comments and I can always add it. 
> 
> Instead I'll be adding some teasers to it. I hope you enjoy!

Disbelief. 

Had he really just watched her slip through his fingers like that? Glide out the window like a sheet of paper in the wind?

“In here!” a voice rang out from the hall. “I heard a commotion!”

He could hear the stomping of feet as whoever had come entered the room, but Dorian didn't look away from the empty night outside.

“Oh, thank god!” the elven girl shouted.

“Are you alright?”

The girl stood and ran out of his sight to someone behind him.

“I, I don't think I'm hurt. no one's supposed to be here! Briala said... ugh, I shouldn't have trusted her.” 

"Briala told you to come to this wing of the palace?"

"Not personally. The _Ambassador_ can't be seen talking to the servants,” her voice was laced with disdain. “We get coded messages at certain locations. But the order came from her. She's been watching the grand duke all night. No surprise she wanted someone to search his sisters room." 

“Is there anyone else who knows the code in the drop location who could have written those orders?”

“I don't know, any of us could do it, but... No. No one else would send me here. It had to be Briala.”

“So this room belongs to Grand Duchess Florianne?”

More stomping as the people wandered around the room.

“It used to. This has been a private room in hell I'm sure I'll since she was a child. But this part of the palace was damaged, and the royal family moved to the guest wing.”

“What we trying to find them Florianne's old room?”

“The message didn't say. I should have known it was a setup.”

“This Wing is sealed. How did you-” the person stopped speaking suddenly. “Dorian?”

He turned then to see the Inquisitor standing at the foot of the bed that had hidden him from her’s and the other’s view until now.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“And Kara?” Bull insisted, stepping forward. “Where is she?”

“Surely you didn't leave her alone?” Solas added.

Instead of answering he only looked back to the window, prompting the girl to answer for him.

“She saved me!” she shouted, drawing the attention back to herself. “But then…” she trailed off.

“Then?” Solas probed.

“The Harlequin took her,” she almost whispered, looking down at her hands. “Out the window.”

All eyes turned to the open shutters as the room fell to silence, only for it to be broken by the shouts of someone outside.

“I'll butcher you like the pigs you are!”

Everyone was on high alert then, weapons drawn and ready.

“Dorian!” The Inquisitor shouted, pulling him from his trance to look up at her. “Do you still have your equipment?” she asked

“I got it here, with the rest!” Sera answered for him, dropping her bag.

“Good, get ready. We’re going to need you if we’re going to save her.” Lavellan’s words were strong with resolve and put a fire back in Dorians belly. With a huff he stood, nodding curtly before going to meet Sera. 

“There are men down there?” Iron Bull was at the window, looking out into the night. “It’s not a far drop. We can jump it.”

Before instruction could be given, the Qunari had leaped into the night. With a well deserved eye-roll the Inquisitor motioned for the rest to follow. Bull was not wrong, the drop being relatively easy to take, the members landing in the grass to the sound of bow strings drawing.

They were surrounded. Every cobblestone corner of the courtyard was crammed with drawn bows whose arrows were pointed square on the inquisitor and his party.

“Inquisitor!” She cheered, stepping forward with her arms outstretched. “What a pleasure! I wasn't certain you'd attend. You're such a challenge to read. I had no idea if you'd taken my bait.”

The inquisitor was unshaken, standing her ground and grinning right back. “I fear another busy at the moment, If you were looking for a dance partner.”

“Yes, I see that,” she chuckled. “Such a Pity you did not have one final dance for me. It was kind of you to walk into my truck so willingly. I was so tired of your meddling. Corypheus insisted that the empress died tonight, and I would hate to disappoint him.”

“Why kill the Empress?” She pressed “What does Corypheus want to achieve?”

“Celene’s death is a stepping stone on the path to a better world,” she gladly and openly exclaimed. “Corypheus will enter the black City and claim the godhood waiting for him. We will cast down your useless maker and usher in a United World, Guided by the hand of an attentive God.”

“You're Orlesian royalty. Why would you help Corypheus attack your Empire?”

“You think so small, Inquisitor. Why settle for an Empire when Corypheus will remake the entire world? I admit, I will relish the look on Gaspard’s say when he realizes I that outplayed him. He always was a sore loser.”

“What exactly is in this for you?” she questioned, pulling as much information as she could.

Florienne openly laughed at her then. “The world of course. I'll deliver the entire south of Thedas and Corypheus will save me. When he has ascended to godhood I will rule all say Thedas in his name.”

“At this point, I’d think disappointment was an old friend.” 

“Poor dear, you can't begin to imagine what Calpurnia and I have in store. And now, I suppose you never will. In their darkest dreams, no one imagines I would assassinate Celene myself. All I need is to keep you out of the ballroom long enough to strike. Pitty you'll miss the rest of the ball, Inquisitor. They'll be talking of it for years.” Her grandiose persona dropped then, leaving only her snarky smile. “Kill her and bring me her marked hand. It will make a fine gift for the master.” She retired to the festivities to the sound of blades being drawn.

With a crack a flash of green illuminated the fearful faces of the men around them. The air in the middle of the courtyard split open; the rift appearing and spitting out an amass of demons. Lavellan flicked her blades, coating them in poison just as lightning flashed and blew half of the now distracted bowmen into the air. Solas’s staff glowing, the battle had begun.

The Iron Bull hoisted his axe over his shoulder, swinging overhead at the closest and luckiest of the guardsmen. In the green reflection of the axe’s skull-splitting blow, another guard drew his sword and attempted an advance. Sera pivoted on the ball of her foot, nimble and fast, striking the guard in the leg with one carefully placed arrow and knocked another three to her bow. She bent a knee and sprung upwards with grace, cartwheeling in midair as she drew the string. Upon release, the wounded guard was struck masterfully in the visor gap of his helmet while two soldiers behind wailed for their own puncture wounds. Bull huffed his axe out of a body and barreled towards the wounded guards, the sharpened axe drawing sparks on the cobblestone floor as he charged. He crashed into one guard and sent him hurtling painfully into a courtyard wall, accompanied by a loud, unsettling crunch. The axe redirected the charge’s momentum and, in a short twirl, the second guard was gutted. 

A large purple cloud enveloped the battlefield as Dorian triggered a curse placed on one of the wandering rage demons. He redirected his attention, with a swirl of his staff, to another guard, curling his fingers at him and watching the man begin to buckle under the pressure of the spirits that engulfed him. The guard’s eyes, at first barely visible through his visor, rolled back and his exposed whites turned to his neighboring armor-clad soldier. Fear welled in the second man but that wasn’t one of Dorian’s spells - it was genuine terror as the possessed soldier swung clumsily at him. Dorian felt stronger with each of the enemies that befell the demons he set loose on the courtyard and he watched out of the peripheral of his vision the possessed guard slaughter the man beside him before collapsing. The final demon fell to an arrow, sparing the unlikely life of a disarmed guard who’d lost his footing. He released the virulent bomb curse on the shade, the monster exploding in front of its prey and its predator. Both men cried out and grabbed at their armor before shoots of blood sprayed from between their plating. 

“Watch it!” Lavellan shouted as she hooked onto the guard before he fell, jumping forward and pulling on the chain to rocket herself across the courtyard. She passed the moaning man and hit the stones underfoot running to maintain deadly speed. Her daggers lunged forward and struck guards already occupied by the warrior, her daggers finding the seams in the plated steel gauntlets. One guard dropped his sword and held his wrist with his free hand, leaving him a victim to the inquisitor’s damning strike. Sera, landed and poised in a corner, had her bowstring strung so far the weapon appeared as though it would break. She fired at the second guard with a speed and force great enough to topple the man before the inquisitor could land a final blow. She leered at Sera who laughed and sprung for another arrow from her quiver.

The inquisitor redirected her attention to Solas who, by himself, had taken on a decent helping of bodies. She turned just in time to watch a cobblestone fist flatten a man, steel armor and all, against the opposite courtyard wall; all while taking out the last of the demons with another round of lightning. He raised his hand and cast his shards of ice, huge spears of almost crystal clear icicles, and thrust them forward like javelins at a guard with his bow drawn to strike the inquisitor. Her heart stopped for a moment before her gaze returned to the elven man who raised a thin brow at her and cocked his head, eyes going from her to the rift quickly, motioning for her attention. 

With a sly grin she turned to the glowing green scar on the sky and rose her hand to it. With a loud crack, it reacted, sending a bracing shudder through the inquisitor; but she held her ground. The satisfying wine built up before letting out a final crash as the rift snapped shut, leaving behind only a few remnants of its presence. 

“Hurry,” Lavellan called out, breaking the team's fixation. “We must return to the ballroom before it’s too late.”

But they were interrupted when, from above, there was a scream and a voice called out, “Don’t move.”

“Kara!” Bull screamed, pointedly looking up to the top of the fountain; the rest of the group turning to see what he was seeing.

Atop the marble masterpiece stood a lone Harlequin; tight to her chest she held Kara, one blade against her throat and another at her back.. 

“I’m ok!” She shouted down in an attempt to calm her friends. “I’m ok!”

Bull reached up to pull his axe from his back only to be answered with a shriek from above as the blade was pressed harder into Kara’s neck as a warning. “I said don’t move.”

“It would be in your best interest not to harm the girl,” Solas called up to them. 

Iron Bull let out a roar, stepping forward threateningly. “If you harm a single hair on her head you’ll regret it.”

“I have no need to harm her, she is but a tool,” the masked woman called down to them.

“I don’t understand?” Sera questioned, turning to Solas for explanation. 

“She intents to hold us hostage here until the assassination is complete,” he explained. His face was grim.

“What!?” she shrieked in return. “We can’t afford to do that!”

“No we cannot,” Lavellan agreed.

“We’re not leaving her,” Bull insisted, his voice harsh and full of emotion.

“I have no intention of doing so,” she reassured. “But something must be done.”

“And quickly,” Solas added.

Kara took shuddering breaths, all her muscles tense as she concentrated on holding her balance while so strongly held against her will. With quick glances down she attempted to piece together what her friends were doing, which mostly just seemed like talking. 

What were they doing? They didn't have time to be standing around like that. the empress's life was ever encroaching it's untimely end as they all just stood around with their hands in their pockets. She watched, slowly becoming more panicked, as they continued conversing among themselves. They seemed divided, Sera and Bull were angry and excited while Solas and Lavellan retained their usual controlled demeanor. She knew it was better that they remain calm, but it still made her a little happy to see Bull so obviously defensive. She glanced back in Solas's direction to see a possible response only to have her breath taken from her. 

Their gazes locked. He was looking up at her with intense eyes. A look of determination and strength, but beneath that she could see more. She could see his fear. She could see it in the way he gripped his staff; his knuckles turning white. She could see it in the tightness of his lips, pressed together in a line. Unconsciously she moved toward him, her body yearning to alleviate his worry, only to feel the blade in her back press harder. 

“No, no, no,” came a whisper in her ear. “You have a job to do. A purpose to serve. I can't let you go.”

She realized it then, why they were doing nothing, what they were talking about. She wasn't the hostage… they were. 

Kara shut her eyes tightly, taking in a sharp breath through her teeth. The empress was going to die and it would be all her fault. It didn't take much thinking before she came to a stark decision. She couldn't live with that; and since she couldn't live with it, she wouldn't let that happen. 

Opening her eyes she took one last deep breath and looked back down at Solas, resolute. He could see it. He knew she wasn't going to just wait around. His eyes widened in panic, but before he could do or say anything to stop her, she acted. 

Quick, and without reserve, Kara thrust her elbow behind her and into her captor’s ribs pulling a satisfying gasp and cry. The harlequin had not even considered her fighting back and was taken completely off guard, stepping back to catch their balance only to lose their footing on the slick marble of the fountain and hooked the dagger in ties of Kara’s dress in an attempt to regain their hold, but the weight of the both of them falling away was too much and the dress gave, cut by the sharp blade under the pressure. Kara could feel her stomach go into her throat as her feet slid and she began to fall. At first she couldn’t find find her breath, but the moment she did she found herself screaming.

With quick feet, and even greater resolve, Solas shot forward, using his fade step he was at the edge of the fountain before the others had even realized he’d moved. Kicking off he propelled himself into the air, leaving bits of frost on the grass beneath them, and projected himself up with his arms outstretched. 

“I’ve got you!”

The two met mid air and he wrapped his arms around her, bracing her legs and back as the two floated for a second. Kara’s eyes were wide as she took in the feeling of him holding her like he was. It was only a few seconds but it felt like forever; the twinkling of the ice crystals all around them, the feeling of his protective grasp on her, the relieved look in his eyes as he smiled calmly at her. It was magical.

“Brace yourself,” he said, breaking the moment. She blinked away her doe eyed daze and put her arms around his shoulders just in time for her to feel gravity pull them back to the ground. 

Solas landed gracefully, the frozen grass crunching lightly beneath his feet. “Are you alright?” he asked, squatting down and letting her sit on his knees while looking her over. Slightly embarrassed, Kara pulled her arms from him and wrapped them around herself.

“Got ‘im!” Bull yelled from the other side of the fountain, the sound of crunching causing Kara to cringe before she could answer.

“I think I'm okay,” she sighed, more focused on fussing with her dress than answering. “Nothing hurts, but that might be the adrenaline.”

“That’s good,” Solas mumbled. 

“Hey,” came a voice from beside them. Dorian jogged over, resting his hands on his hips. “You two okay?” he asked. “That was a good catch.”

“Thank you,” Solas smiled at him. “And I was about to check Miss Kara to make sure of just that.” He placed a gentle arm on her shoulders, leaning to and fro to examine her. 

Solas’s hand gently examined her abdomen, Kara’s heart stopping with every centimeter that the movement adjusted her now unfortunate situation. A deep blush came over Kara as he looked her over, the contact pushing her over the edge. She squeaked under Solas’s hand.  
“Is she wounded?” Bull flinched. 

“It’s a too dark to tell,” Dorian commented.

“This is true,” Solas agreed, leaning back and giving her a concerned look. “Oh, Kara, you’re red?”

“Oh, um,” she stuttered, eyes darting from his face to the ground and back. “No, it’s not, I’m… oh man.” 

“Are you feeling okay?” he asked before placing a hand to her forehead. “You’re quite warm.”

“It’s not that,” Kara managed to push out, albeit shakily. 

“Please, _falon_ , please tell me whatever may be bothering you.” 

“It’s just…” she held herself a little tighter. “When the harlequin attacked me,” she began.

“Did they hurt you?” Dorian pushed, a sincere worry pushing through his usually even-tempered disposition.

“No!” she shouted, pulling the attention of the rest of the group who were rounding the fountain having finished dealing with the harlequin. 

“Kara?” Bull took a few quick steps forward, separating from the group. 

“When I escaped from them, their dagger _did_ catch me, just not my _skin_.” Kara opened her arms to show how her corset was falling away from her body, exposing beautiful, porcelain, unpunctured skin nary an inch from Solas’s fingertips. 

Solas’s face turned an uncharacteristic shade of red. “I- ah...”

“Hey!” Bull called out then, quickly closing the distance. “What’s going on over here!?”

“Bull!” Dorian shouted, throwing his hands up defensively. “It’s not like that, I assure you!”

. . .

“Do you need anything else?” One of the Skyhold healers asked. 

“No, thank you.” Kara gave her a smile and the healer gave a short bow of exit. The healer turned and opened the door, jumping when he found Dorian on the other side. The mustached man smiled and stepped out of the way for the qunari, holding the door open with a hand so that he could slip closely past him and inside. Kara’s eyes brightened and she waved him in. 

“Some of the finest healers in Skyhold,” Dorian raised his brows slightly, gesturing with his fingertips at the knick on Kara’s neck from one of the daggers she was held against. “All for a cut no thicker than a sheet of parchment.”

“It wasn’t even a lot of blood,” Kara chuckled, touching it tenderly with her hand. “I suppose Solas was the one who stickled for the excessive attention.” 

“He did,” Dorian gave a breathy chuckle. It was such a strange demand from the elf and, by recollection, one that appeared dramatically more grave than the situation truly called for. Dorian was ‘entrusted’ with bringing Kara to care while they went on to save the empress. “Mountains and nug-hills.”

Dorian crossed the room, the fingernails on one hand raking against each other. Subtle evidence of an inquiry the man held to himself. He sat on the bed, soft sheets easily billowing around him. “What was it that Solas called you?” He finally asked. “Back there? It was something elvish.”

“ _Lethallan?_ ” Kara asked. “It’s uh... like family. It’s an informal reference of familiarity like ‘cousin’. It’s to mean ‘of blood’. _Lethallian_ is a man of blood and _lethallan_ is woman of blood.” She approached the bed and ran a hand on the wooden support. “He calls me that sometimes.”

“What is _falon_?” Dorian followed up.

Kara looked away for a moment, running methods of translation through her mind before finding a solid way to articulate the difference. “That’s a good friend. A very good friend. Someone you’d die for.” She furrowed her brow and looked at Dorian’s pursed lips.

“Not family, though?” Dorian furrowed his brow.

Kara shook her head. “Not all family is worth dying for. _Falon_ is for people you truly care for. People you’d rather see live in a world without you than ever live in a world without them.” She smiled and tilted her head. “Is there someone you wish to call _falon_?”

Dorian shook his head and her perplexion doubled. She drummed her nails on the wood and chewed her lip. Before she could speak again, Dorian continued his unspoken sentence.

“But Solas does.”

Kara’s breath stopped in her throat, forcing her to swallow and fix her eyes on Dorian’s. He smiled and patted the back of his knuckles with his free hand before pointing at her. 

“That’s what he called you back there. And, just based on the definitions you gave me, it sounds like there is a distinguished difference between the two. No?”

Kara’s gaze disconnected and wandered away from Dorian’s knowing smile. She leaned on the bed post and slid down to sit on the cushions as thoughts raced through her mind. His concern, the way he demanded Dorian to take her to healers with urgency, and his face when he realized what had happened to her corset. It all made sense with this telling, yet overlooked, detail about the whole debacle. She swallowed again, dryer this time. “Yeah that’s... a distinguished difference... the syntax and... uh...”

Dorian chuckled and patted Kara on the back. “I wouldn’t think about it too hard...” There was a knock on the door and the Iron Bull took a step in, nodding at Dorian. “...at least, not right now.” 

Kara looked up at Bull and immediately felt warmer inside. 

“For now,” Dorian slapped his knees as he stood, “rest up. You gave everyone a real fright.” He bowed his head slightly to the Iron Bull and graciously excused himself, closing the door behind him. 

“I heard about your neck,” Bull spoke up to break the subsequent silence. 

Kara put her hand to her injury again, rubbing slightly where the healer had addressed it with care intense enough to treat amputations. “It’s nothing, honestly. A scratch.”

The Qunari man stepped closer, grinned, and gestured with his hand at the girl. “I’ll have to keep a closer eye on you, seeing as you’re so remarkably vulnerable.” 

“Safer with every step closer,” Kara replied with equal sarcastic savagery. The two chuckled and another silence befell the two of them. 

The Iron Bull’s eyes glanced at the floor and he looked up at Kara from there. “I do worry about you. Your bravery saved yourself but it could’ve gone much differently, you do know this?” 

Kara’s lips pinched on the side, an unspoken understanding of concern. Compared to some members of the inquisition, Kara felt like she was made of glass. Although, the feat of courage and, she supposed, incredible luck that freed her definitely felt good. 

Bull neared the bed and sat beside her, hips just far enough apart not to touch. He appeared to adjust his height, slightly, when he sat beside her. It was as if he wished to compensate for the differences in physique. “Stunningly splendid, though, that fortune did make you its maiden today, that you’re well, and that the only remains of the event are this cut...” The Iron Bull gently ran a finger along the healed cut on her neck, trailing up her chin and hooking her in. “...and the memory.” 

Kara’s lips were anxious for his touch and her heart felt as though it were wrapped around that curled finger neath her chin. It fluttered with every uncertain breath as her eyes darted between his. Her breast rose and fell with nervous anticipation until the connection she awaited was made. The Qunari’s lips were on hers, strength and brawn packed into a long, gentle kiss. Her hands remained trapped in her lap, afraid that, should she move an inch from where she was, the moment would end. So she stayed in the uncompromising forever in which the kiss submerged her. The Iron Bull withdrew slowly, his arm wrapping around her body and pulling her backwards, a familiar descent but with a much softer, more welcomed landing on the bed. He caressed her face with a powerful hand, fingers gently interweaving with her hair and bliss overtaking her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh! Spicy spicy!!  
> I wonder how Solas might feel about Bull and Kara possibly getting back together... and why would she risk it when she knows she loves Solas and not the Iron Bull!? There's an answer for everything.  
> I hope you keep reading so you can find out!!!  
> ^_^


	31. Raven in the Courtyard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are beginning to fall into place... But where will the pieces land? 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the update, and as always the translations are at the end. Any corrections or comments are greatly appreciated! I wrote most of this chapter on my phone so sometimes my keyboard gets weird. And I try to answer every comment I get, so if you do, expect an answer!

“All the groups have archers, though the last group also has an Enforcer, so be careful.” Kara leaned over the map pointing at a specific point. “At this particular camp you should find a letter among their effects that will lead to a mercenary fortress.”

“Wonderful,” Leliana said with a grin, “I'll alert Belette that we'll be taking care of it immediately. The only other matter was regarding the scout you mentioned earlier?”

“Yes,” Kara stood back and rounded the table and motioned to a different section of the map. “Her name is Ritts. She's missing, correct?”

“So I have been informed.”

“She's alright. She's been seeing a woman secretly,” Kara crossed her arms, contemplating before continuing. “A mage.”

“I see.”

“This being said, you should make her your top priority. When you arrive you will most likely find her fighting Templar soldiers. She'll need all the help she can get.”

Leliana gave a hearty sigh before mimicking Kara's posture and sinking into her hip. “I do wish she had just told me of this, it's not as though I dislike mages.” 

Kara gave a concerned look. 

“I like to think I am a reasonable woman,” she said, beginning to pace. “Did she honestly believe I might disband her over a romance?”

“It may not have been because of you, perhaps she was afraid of her teammates finding out and _them_ being prejudiced?” 

“No,” Leliana insisted. “I would not allow such a thing within my ranks.”

“Well, it won’t matter anymore anyway,” Kara said in an attempt to reassure the woman.

Her brows furrowed together at her statement. “And why is that?”

“Because Eldredda, the mage, she’ll be dead before you arrive.”

“Dead?” Leliana’s interest seemed piqued.

“Yes. Unfortunately the templars will get to her before anyone will arrive to help, but it _is_ possible to save Ritts, if you get there quick enough.”

“Nonsense,” Leliana waved her off before turning to one of her hooded attendants. “Dispatch a group to assist Ritts immediately, and make sure to bring a few mages with you ready to cast a barrier spell the moment you arrive. I want both Ritts and Eldredda back here alive and together; I will accept no less.”

With a nod the attendant was off. Leliana turned her head to Kara. “When they arrive, I'll assure Ritts that she is welcome to romance whomever she pleases, and I'm sure that her mage friend would find a place to fit in here with ease.”

“But Leliana, she’ll be dead before they even-”

“My men do not disappoint me,” Leliana interrupted, effectively ending the argument. 

With a sigh, Kara began to pick up the papers and other materials on the table.

Leliana let out a chuckle. “I appreciate your assistance in these past months.”

Kara looked up at her, a little startled, “Oh, it’s really nothing.”

“No, it is very much more than nothing,” she insisted. “Without you we wouldn’t have been able to accomplish many of the things we have. You’ve helped us acquire resources, both fiscal and natural, you’ve helped us locate hidden caches of enemies and given us warning enough to save countless lives.”

Kara was frozen in place as Leliana rounded the table and rested her hands on her shoulders.

“Without you we would be lost, and I wish to thank you accordingly.” With a grin she then pulled out a brooch and pinned it to Kara’s blouse. “It is a symbol of camaraderie. You are now officially a part of the inquisition’s spy guild,” she paused, the pride beaming from her face, “Corvus.”

Kara’s chest heavy and feeling as though she might be on the verge of tears. She looked down at the pin and felt her breath catch in her throat. It was beautiful; black metal cut in the shape out outstretched wings.

“Leliana, I-I don’t know what to say,” she gasped.

“Then say nothing.” She patted her shoulder and smiled. “You earned it.”

“Thank you.”

Leliana nodded, picking up the last few things from the table and placing them in a neat pile on a box behind them. She began rolling up the map when something crossed her mind and she turned back to Kara. 

“Are you still having trouble with the Inquisitor?” she asked. “It’s difficult for you to share a room, yes?”

“How did you...?” Kara began to ask.

“Darling, I am the nightingale; I know.”

Kara nodded and wondered why it had even confused her in the first place.

“While it might not be my place, might I suggest a talk with Morrigan? She seems to have,” she paused, her brows pursing together, “unwound some since our last time working together.” She waved the statement off. “But that is unimportant. My point is that she might be able to help you come to terms with whatever may be troubling you.”

“That’s actually a really good idea, Leliana. Thank you.” 

“Anytime,” she responded with a small bow. “I hear she is in the garden at present. I hope she can help you find the answers you seek.”

With a few waves and smiles, Kara excused herself, eagerly running down the stone steps and making her way to meet the mage. It wasn't until she was outside once more and could see the woman and her child across the yard that she felt her feet stop in their tracks.

She liked Morrigan, quite a bit, but that wasn't the problem. Morrigan was _intimidating_. She was a powerful and terrifying woman; but one she had to talk to. With a deep breath she took the first steps to cross the courtyard and was greeted with a smile.

“Might I help you?” Morrigan asked.

“Yea, actually,” she pushed out. “Leliana said I could talk to you about-”

“About your origins?” she asked, finishing her statement.

“U-um,” Kara stuttered, sufficiently intimidated. “Kinda, sorta?”

Morrigan chuckled. “I am amused by your innocent demeanour.” She motioned to the ramada behind her. “Come, sit, we shall talk. You may accompany us if you wish Kieran.” 

The boy followed his mother into the shade, squatting down to look at bugs while she sat. With a pat she motioned for Kara to sit beside her and with a warmth growing in her chest she quickly went to join them.

Morrigan took Kara's hands into hers and closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath through her nose. 

“I see,” she said under her breath and mostly to herself. “Yes, I see.”

Kara sat patiently as, she assumed, Morrigan read her energy. 

“You are not from this world,” she stated flatly.

“Yes, that’s right.”

“You are from somewhere above this place,” she continued, her face contorting slightly. “We exist in your world, but within our own, yours does not.”

“I guess so,” Kara answered, unsure.

“You know all of this, of us. You know things before they happen,” she smirked, “but not because you are clairvoyant. ‘Tis instead because you have lived this all before.”

Kara didn't answer then, slightly ashamed of her actions.

It seemed as though Morrigan could tell this as well, opening her eyes for a brief moment to give her a comforting look before shutting them again.

“Your world is one of science and advancement, there is no such magic where you once resided.”

“Yes, magic doesn’t exist there.”

“Then how is it that you came to reside here?” she asked coyly.

“I-I’m not sure?” Kara began to speculate. How _did_ she get here then, she wondered? What had brought her here if magic wasn’t real? She could barely remember anything about the day she arrived in Ferelden, it was all such a blur; and she remembered almost nothing about before she actually woke up. Why had this line of thought never occurred to her before? She’d have to talk about this to-

To who? Solas? A wave of sadness washed over her at the thought. Of all the people she could to talk to about these things, the _one_ that she truly wanted to talk to she couldn’t; at least not until she was ready to tell him the whole truth, which she wasn't. 

“Please focus your mind, dear,” Morrigan kindly reminded. “‘Tis hard enough to see what I am not meant to without you clouding it with doubt.”

“Sorry,” she yipped and Morrigan regained her strange posture.

“Your goals here are different from your counterpart,” she continued.

“My counterpart?” Kara asked, her scalp beginning to tingle.

“This is but a game to you.”

Kara was silent then. The panic that suddenly filled her felt as though she had been stabbed in the chest. Struggling, she tried to push out something, anything.

“W-what!? No! No, this is _not_ a game to me, I take everything here very seriously, I promise!”

“Child, child,” Morrigan chanted through her laughter. She held Kara’s hands a little tighter then and gave her a comforting look. “I assure you I did not mean my words in the way that you seem to have interpreted them. I only mean that this world is but a game in your own, akin to chess in ours.”

“Oh,” she let her head hang, Webster by her outburst. 

“But that is only the holden of the situation.” Morrigan sighed, pulling her hands away and resting them in her lap. “I cannot quite comprehend everything that is flowing between us at the moment. “‘Tis quite exhausting.”

“I understand. Honestly, anything you can do is helpful. I don’t understand any of this at all.”

“Despite this, I did find something of interest.” Morrigan placed a thoughtful hand on her chin. “Your connection with the Inquisitor is most fascinating. You are everything that she is, you are the same people; but not. While you are your own being, you are also what defines her it seems.”

Kara's eyes widened, but she didn't dare interrupt. 

“Unfortunately, I could not comprehend it completely. I will do some meditation on it and get back to you. There was something else that I caught that might interest you at present.”

“Oh!” Kara leaned closer, her interest piqued. “Yes, please, anything!”

“You have an appointment with Kihm the tempest for training today, do you not?”

“Yes,” she answered, unperturbed at her knowledge of the event. “In about thirty minutes, why?”

“Why not train with Helaine instead? Did her specialization not interest you in a previous life?”

“What?” Kara barked, thoroughly confused. “But Helaine is a mage?”

“That she is.”

“Morrigan,” she let out a humourless laugh. “I’m not a mage.”

“There is magic within you, child.”

Kara sat, stunned to silence once more. Morrigan closed her eyes again, her brow furrowing as she concentrated.

“Nguyen?” The name fell from her lips and hit Kara like a ton of bricks. “She is you, she is within you.”

“Nguyen was-”

“Another Inquisitor,” she interrupted. “Yes. But while her world is parallel to our own, she did not win the die toss. Instead, our own Lavellan did. But the other is still here, in this world.” Morrigan pressed her hand to Kara’s chest. “Within you.”

“Within… me?”

“Indeed,” she beamed. “And I suggested Helaine due to the fact that she was with whom you trained before, if that is correct.”

“Yes, it was; Nguyen was a battle mage,” Kara confirmed, a little dazed. “Sorry, I'm still kind of shocked that I have some kind of magical prowess.”

“‘Tis also a probable reason behind your ability to travel into the fade.”

“Oh, my God, I hadn't thought about that. Wait, you knew about that too?” Kara’s mind seemed to be in thirty places at once. 

“I do indeed, but alas, we must continue this conversation at another time.”

“What? Why? I'm not keeping you from something am I?”

“No, dear; but soon, I will be to you.”

Kara stared at the mage for a moment before it dawned on her. “Oh! Kihm!” she shouted and shot up, darting out of the garden and down the adjacent stairs to the lower courtyard. “ThankyouverymuchMorriganthishasbeenanenlighteningexperienceandIhopetotalktoyouagain!” her voice trailed off as she disappeared. 

“She is a precious young woman.”

“She is a problem,” Kieran said without looking away from his bugs. 

“And what do you mean by that, my son?” Morrigan asked, genuinely curious. He might be strange, but he was intelligent and capable of surpassing even her at times.

“They will destroy each other, and then the rest of us.”

“Kieran, you’ll speak of this to no one.”

“Yes mother,” he responded obediently and with no sadness in his tone.

Morrigan stood, holding her hand out for her son to take. “Come, there is research to be done.” 

He stood and allowed himself to be led away and into the castle. 

. . .

“So, I just smash it?” Kata asked, her voice unsteady. In her hand she held a small glass bottle. It was circular and filled with a deep red glowing liquid. She turned it over in her hand, examining it. 

“Yes,” Kihm answered, his face gravely serious. “If you have done the preparations correctly, it will not burn you.”

“You've got this!” Sera yelled, encouraging her. 

“They expect folly in the Tempest and are fooled,” Kihm began, giving Kara a moment to gather her courage. “For there is no madness in knowing the absolute limit of ability and charging to that edge. Wars may be a tactical affair, but the one-on-one meeting of combatants is decided by the one who first realizes they are in mortal peril and commits fully. Many reach that point; the Tempest starts there. By the time their foes have risen to match, it is too late.”

The speech lit a fire in Kara, she wanted this. She worked for this. She was ready. 

With a deep breath, Kara attempted to calm her tingling nerves before lifting the glass orb and hitting it hard against her chest and she was on fire. In milliseconds she was engulfed by the plasma, but felt nothing. She stood still a moment, a walking pyre, before her excitement filled her. 

“I did it!” she threw her fists in the air

“You did it!” Sera yelled, jumping up and joining in. 

“You're on fire!” a third voice rang out just before Kara found herself being drenched in water. 

Without either of them noticing, they had been joined by Dorian, who held a now empty bucket in the air over their heads. After a second if silence, Sera broke into a roar of laughter. 

“What the hell, Dorian!?” she shouted, though not actually angry. “I was doing tempest training!”

“Oops,” he shrugged with a grin that said he absolutely knew that's what was going on. 

“You can dry yourself quickly by freezing the water,” Kihm suggested, unamused by the events. “When the potion wears off, the water will be gone.”

Kara nodded and picked up another orb, this one filled with a white-blue liquid. It seemed to glow as well; they all looked as though they held their own light source within them. It was quite beautiful. With a tight nod, she threw it at herself, the thin glass shattering easily.

“It's not gonna be pleasant though,” Kihm added just before she felt it. 

Instantly she was freezing, as if the ice was making it's way into her bones. It only lasted five seconds, but those second felt like hours to her.

As the ice dissipated, chipping off and falling to the ground, Kara could feel the warmth of the world come back to her, though her fingers remained numb for a bit. She turned to her friends, Dorian now sitting on his bucket. 

“So you're doing tempest training, are you?” He asked. “May I ask what sparked the sudden interest in combat?”

Kara looked down nervously at her hands. “Well, it seemed like, anytime I was around, I became a liability,” she explained. “I don't want to be a weakness for you all. I want to be a strength. And this seemed like the best option.”

When Dorian didn't respond right away she looked up at him, worried at what expression she might find; and boy, was she surprised. 

Sitting across the grass from her was a beaming Dorian. The pride on his face was so evident and strong that it made Kara take a step back. 

“I'm so proud of you,” he cheered, closing the distance and hugging her. 

Though startled at first, Kara reciprocated, wrapping her arms around the man. She hasn't expected this. If anything, she thought he was going to be upset at the idea of her planning on putting herself in danger again, but she was pleasantly surprised at this outcome. Besides, he gave damn good hugs, she'd come to find. They were warm and full. 

“You'll be a fantastic ally,” he said, stepping back. “I would trust no one at my side more.”

“Thank you,” Kara sighed, tears threatening.

“Let's continue our training,” Kihm interjected. “You must be able to cast your fire without hesitation.”

“Yes,” she responded, grabbing another vial and standing straight. “Let's continue.”

With a nod from Kihm, Kara hit herself with another flash of fire, the panic in her already noticeably less present. 

“This is getting easier!” she yelled excitedly to her master. 

“As it should,” he said, crossing his arms. “Now, the fire only should last a few seconds, but that should be enough time to instill enough fear in in your enemies to-”

Suddenly, water came crashing down on Kara, extinguishing her flames and effectively cutting off Khim mid-sentence. 

A flash of rage washed over her as she turned to give Dorian a piece of her mind, only to find Iron Bull standing behind her. 

Taken aback, she stuttered before being able to talk. “Y-you, what!? Why did you do that!?”

“You were on fire,” he answered innocently. 

She growled under her breath, her hands balled into fists, before quickly leaning down and grabbing an ice flask and throwing it at the qunari. 

As the ice encroached over him he jumped back, startled, though quickly recovering and breaking off a chunk of ice and tossing it her way. 

“Ah!” Kara screamed at the chill of it and dancing away in a fit of giggles. 

“Flask fight!” Sera yelled, pulling one from her belt and tossing it at Dorian, but he was fast, darting into the fray and grabbing his own from the pile and tossing it back. 

Kihm sighed but didn't stop them, instead he turned and walked towards the bench to sit. 

. . .

“It might be best to strike quickly,” Solas muttered, pacing the room. “Especially now that we have some information regarding the subject.”

“What have I told you about talking tactics in my bedroom?” Lavellan chastised, playfully. 

“I apologize, my love,” he smiled. “I had forgotten. There is just much to contemplate.”

“While this is true, I still like to keep by business and… _pleasure_ ,” she heavily emphasized the word, “separate.” she leaned back into the stone windowsill, a look in her eye.

“I will attempt to remember,” he said, crossing the room and embracing her. Before giving her a little spin. “And refrain from it in the future.”

“There is a raven in the courtyard,” Lavellan said with a grin, seemingly out of nowhere. 

Solas looked up to see her gazing happily out the window and turned to see at what she was talking about

“A Raven?” he turned, an eyebrow raised. 

“Leliana made her a true member of her order today. She was given the alias Corvus. I find it appropriate, with her dark hair and pale skin. It's fitting.”

“Did she now?” he asked turning back to watch them play outside. 

“She's a sweet child,” Lavellan said as she picked up some of the clothes that had been tossed about the room. 

“She's not a child,” Solas found himself spitting back. It shocked him, they were words Kara had once said to him that now involuntarily had found their way to his lips. 

Their harshness didn't seem to reach Lavellan though, as she giggled in response. “I suppose you're right. She's not much younger than us, just small and innocent.”

“How old will you be?” Solas asked, attempting to change the subject. He didn't want to contradict her, but he knew for a fact that Kara was far from innocent. She'd seen her share of trauma and he'd rather not recall it and his coinciding failures now. “I don't believe I've ever asked.”

“I don't think you have either,” she said with a laugh like bells. Her mood high. “I will be twenty nine this year. Not to much younger than you, I presumed.”

 _So young,_ he thought and a pang flashed through him. 

“How old are you?”

“I can't hardly recall,” he dodged the question. “I was never one to keep track. Though if you were interested we could throw you a party.”

Lavellan smiled at him, just being in the same room as him made her feel at ease. With a quick breath she stopped staring at him and continued her previous train of thought. 

“Weren't you teaching Kara how to speak elvish?” she asked. 

“I was indeed, though she's apparently fluent already.”

“Fast learner. I was wondering why your lessens had stopped. That would explain it.”

“Yes, it would,” he sighed. He hated how many secrets he was keeping now. It wasn't Kara's fluidity that had effectively halted their lessons but his budding relationship with the Inquisitor. He could tell it had an effect on Kara, and he knew he should have pursued her friendship afterwards, but he'd been caught up in their romance and she'd slipped through the cracks; and now it seemed each passing moment made it too late to try again. 

“You two seemed to get along,” she continued as she made the bed. 

“We do indeed. She is a very sweet girl, honest and kind and her positivity is contagious.”

“It is, isn't it.”

“Hmm,” Solas gave a hum of agreement. 

“There's something strange about her though?” 

“Strange?” he asked, turning his attention from the commotion outside and towards her. 

“Yes, she's different somehow.” Lavellan crossed her arms in a contemplative manner. “And she seems so… familiar. Like I've met her before.”

She'd spoken of this to him once before and he hadn't understood it then either. 

“You said once that it felt as if she were related to your? Did you not?” he inquired. 

“Yes, but even that's not quite right. She feels… important to me somehow.”

“Yet when you share a space, you feel ill?”

“Oh!” Lavellan did a little hop and covered her mouth as she began to blush lightly. “You noticed that?”

“You are not hard to read, _ma vhenan_.”

“I see, well, to be honest, yes. But I can't begin to understand why. Perhaps I should talk to a healer.”

“Perhaps that is wise.” Solas have her a reassuring smile and turned back to the window. The two were silent a moment before Lavellan's voice came from just beside his ear. 

“If you miss her company, you should go talk to her,” she whispered as she placed his shirt over his shoulder.

He chuckled, taking the clothing from her and slipping it over his head. “You're sure?” he asked. 

“Solas, it's obvious you favour the girl. I want to see you happy.” she gave him a reassuring smile that instantly chilled his fears. “Besides, you need someone to talk to about spirits and the fade that can actually begin to comprehend it all.”

His brows furrowed, “and you think she is that person?”

“Dorian mentioned her reading a lot of books on the subject, I figured you'd talked about it before.” She waved it off. “If not, perhaps you should. It might be nice to have a new person to bounce ideas off of.”

It did confuse him slightly. Did Kara remember more about their nightly trips than she let on? And if she did, was that a good thing or a bad one? Or is he completely wrong and she was only interested.

It might be neither, she could just honestly be interested in the subject as it was a fascinating one. One he had dedicated his life to. Perhaps he was overthinking it. 

“You should go talk to her,” Lavellan insisted, wrapping her arms around him and laying her head to his back. 

“Alright, alright,” he chuckled and turned to face her. “I shall do just that, as soon as I'm dressed again.”

“Good!” She grinned widely, happy she'd convinced him. “ _Ar lath ma._ ” she sighed to him. 

“ _Ar lath ma._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Elvish Translations**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  _Ma vhenan_ : my heart  
>  _Ar lath ma._ : I love you


	32. Clipping Textures and Malfunctioning Assets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone seemed to like Kara singing last time so i thought, **fuck it**... I'll do it some more. And if you guys really _do_ like it then maybe i'll do it again in the future.  
>  If you don't know the song then here's a link!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ts2SIQ5O-K4
> 
> A few comments from me at the end notes along with translations, so be sure to check that out. Otherwise enjoy the chapter!
> 
> I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!

Light drifted down into the courtyard beautifully, illuminating the particles in the air as they spun past him in the light breeze. It really was a beautiful afternoon. The voices of those down below slowly began to echo back up to him as he descended the stairs, the screams of his friends having fun rattling off of the walls.

As he rounded the stone wall he could see them, Kara, Dorian, Sera, and Iron Bull all running around and throwing vials of some kind of liquid at each other. He watched as one of the gasses hit their target, smashing and forming a layer of ice over Dorian pulling a very manly scream from him, followed by a fit of giggles.

Crossing the grass, the smile that was already resting on Solas’s lips began to grow. Watching them have such innocent, childlike fun pleased him, gave him hope in a way nothing had in quite a while. 

It was a good thing his reflexes were so sharp. Once he was close, he quickly recognized that the trajectory of one of the vials had passed its target and was now heading straight for him. With a nimble step to the left, Solas dodged the flask, letting it crash to the ground beside him and glancing down in time to see the frost forming.

“Solas!” Kara’s familiar voice rang out.

He looked back up to see everyone stopped in their place and staring at him, except Kara who was darting towards him.

“I’m so sorry!” she shouted, brushing off his clothing. “I didn't hit you did i? Gosh, I'm such a klutz.”

With a chuckle, Solas took her arms, stopping her frantic movements. “Please, I assure you I'm fine.” 

“Thank god,” she sighed, dropping her head. “I’d feel awful if I had. The cold is… unpleasant.”

“I’m aware, I have frost magic that I use at times.” Solas gave her a reassuring grin. 

Kara blushed in response, a little embarrassed. How could she forget, especially since he’d used just that to save her before. The memory made her want to blush even more.

“This is fortuitous though, I must admit.”

Kara looked up at him, confused.

“I was wondering if I might steal you for the afternoon. To talk,” he clarified.

“Oh!” Kara stood a little straighter, startled at the request. 

“You don’t have other plans do you?”

“I was thinking about asking Bonnie if she could help me, but it can wait till tomorrow.” Kara smiled.

“Bonnie Sims?” he asked. “The Merchant? What might you require her assistance with?”

“I wanted a job,i need some cash. But I'm not on a time crunch. It can wait.”

“If you need money, I can always give you some,” Solas offered.

“What?” She jumped, waving her hands in front of her. “No! I couldn’t do that!”

“Please, I insist,” he said with a chuckle. “If it makes you feel any better, what if I give it to you in exchange for something?”

“In… exchange?” her blush returned, if only lightly, her mind spinning at what he could be speaking of. 

“I very much enjoyed the last time you played for everyone. What about a private concert, just you and i?”

 _Of course it was something normal like that…_ Kara chastised herself. _Here I am, thinking ridiculous things. God… But still, a private concert?_

“So?” He interrupted her thoughts. “Will you take me up on my offer?”

His smile was intoxicating and she found herself blubbering out an affirmation without really thinking.

“Wonderful, if I'm not mistaken, you've been storing it in the rotunda, correct?” he asked.

“Oh, yes.”

“Then let’s.” his voice was soft as he held out his hand, which she took gladly, ignoring the chuckles from Sera and dorian, and the grunts of displeasure from Bull, coming from behind her.

When they reached the rotunda, Kara quickly climbed the ladder to the top of the wooden structure by the door.

“Is it still up here?” she yelled down to Solas, who was standing below with his arms crossed. 

“Yes, it's under the pallet.”

“Pallet?” she asked, turning to see a pile of blankets, one much thicker than others. “Solas?” she turned back to him, aghast, “do you sleep up here?”

“Most nights. Why?”

“What!?” Kara fell to her hands and knees and looked down at him. “I thought you had a room!?” 

“Why waste the space when there are so many refugees coming each day. I’ve slept in worse conditions; I _am_ an apostate. I’ve spent my share of nights alone in the wilderness with nothing more than the clothes on my back. A loft bed is almost a luxury after such events.” 

“I guess…” Kara stood back up, carefully shifting the pile to reveal her case. A spike of joy shot through her as she saw it; it truly made her happy. She grasped the handle, turning to pass it down to Solas so she could descend the ladder. “Got it?”

Solas nodded and she let go, watching as he took a better hold of it before coming back down where he passed it back to her. With her cello safe in her arms, she finally glanced around the room, noticing the walls which now had a new coat of fresh paint on one section of the wall. 

“Wow,” Kara stood in awe as Solas pulled out a chair for her. “This is beautiful, Solas. I could never do something this amazing.”

“I’m sure you could if you put your mind to it, and besides, your music is infinitely more beautiful than anything my hands could produce.”

Kara blushed and she turned so that he couldn’t see.

“But thank you. It was inspired by the events at halamshiral,” he explained. “Of which, without you, would never have happened.”

“What?” she asked, slightly bewildered. “What do you mean?”

“Without your keen eye we would never have found that locket, which was essential in reuniting the Empress and Briala.”

“I’m glad I could do at least that. Though it’s too bad that there wasn't a bloodless resolution.”

“I assume you mean regarding Gaspard?”

Kara remained silent, sitting down in the chair provided for her and opened her case, pulling out the instrument and beginning to tune it.

“It is an unfortunate truth in the world. Not everything can be resolved without violence. In any event, Celene should be a steadfast ally, and Briala as well, thanks to your efforts on her behalf.” Solas settled into his usual chair and lacing his fingers.

“So, what do you want me to play?” Kara asked once she had finished preparations.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t know any of the songs that I do. Besides which, I think I'd rather hear something you chose for me. Whatever comes to mind.”

Kara closed her eyes, thinking for a moment, and seemingly without effort a song popped into her head. Without giving herself enough time to second guess herself, she put the bow back into the case and sat back up.

“No bow?” he asked.

“Not this time,” she grinned, closing her eyes again, placing her fingers to the strings and began to play; her lips parting and letting her voice flow out.

_I'm lying on the moon_  
_My dear, I'll be there soon_  
_It's a quiet and starry place_  
_Time's we're swallowed up_  
_In space we're here a million miles away_

Solas slid into his chair and closed his eyes as well. The words sank into him and he listened intently. He knew that when she sang, her words were not vapid. 

_There's things I wish I knew_  
_There's no thing I'd keep from you_  
_It's a dark and shiny place_  
_But with you my dear_  
_I'm safe and we're a million miles away_

He was almost positive that she was once again singing her true feelings, though this time some of her message was unfortunately eluding him.

_We’re lying on the moon_  
_It’s a perfect afternoon_  
_Your shadow follows me all day_  
_Making sure that I'm_  
_Okay and we’re a million miles away_

“Exquisite.” Solas let out an audible sigh as she plucked the last few notes. “As expected.” 

“Oh, hush,” Kara scoffed, a little embarrassed. 

“It’s only the truth,” he insisted. “You're quite talented.”

“I try,” she said as she attempted to seem aloof as she packed up her cello. 

“And always seeking new talents to conquer, it seems.”

“New talents?” 

“I could tell, from the battle I interrupted, that you were training. Was I wrong?” Solas's brow rose, a playful look encroaching on his face. 

“No, you're right. I'm just surprised I guess.” Her equipment now stored safely back in its case, Kara settled into her chair, pulling her knees up and getting comfortable. 

“Were you training to be a tempest?” he asked. 

“How could you tell!?” she questioned, gleefully. 

“From the alchemy flasks,” he retorted. “Not to mention, along with Sera, Lavellan is also a tempest.”

“Oh, right. I guess you would know, huh?”

After a bit of silence, Solas finally spoke back up. “She's quite fond of you, you know.”

“The inquisitor?” Kara asked, genuinely confused. 

Solas nodded silently she held her knees to her chest, looking down at them with a pinched look. 

“Is this disconcerting to you in some way?”

“Huh?” she looked up. 

“You look disheveled.”

“Oh, no. It's just…” Kara rested her chin on her knees. “I guess it never crossed my mind, that's all.”

“The two of you have an… interesting relationship; to say the least,” he prodded.

“You could say that,” Kara said under her breath.

Solas could tell that they were reaching her limit on the subject and instead decided to change it. Reaching underneath the table beside him, Solas pulled out a small but beautifully embroidered pouch. He gave it a quick once over before tossing it her way. “As promised.”

“What?” she caught it without thinking and looked down to examine the bag before realizing what it was. “Oh! No, really, you don’t need to pay me. It’s just a little music.”

“I said I would and I intend to keep my word,” he insisted, holding up a hand to stop her from throwing it back. “Might I ask what it is you require the extra funds for?”

“Oh,” Kara looked back down at the bag, weighing it in her hand. “I guess so.”

“I know that you don’t tend to go out on missions with us but I also was under the assumption that you didn't have too many expenditures. I wonder, is it for something in particular? Something special?”

“Yes, actually,” Kara blushed a little and began to nervously fiddle with her fingers. Why was this so hard to talk about?

“You don’t owe anyone money do you?” he asked, his tone suddenly very serious.

“Of course not,” she assured him, her brow pressing together as a wave of guilt washed over him; the memory of a few months back hitting her like a brick wall. She was sure he hadn’t forgotten it just as she hadn’t. She wondered if he thought about it as often as she did. She hoped not.

“Well, good.” Amused at her sudden shyness, Solas chuckled, leaning forward and resting his chin on his laced fingers. “Is it something… private?”

“What!?” Kara leaped in shock, her feet falling back to the floor. “N-no! No, nothing like that!”

Her reaction threw him over the edge, pushing him into a fit of laughter. It caught Kara off guard, but her embarrassment quickly dissipated at the sight. She’d never seen Solas so happy before, it was almost surreal; and to think, it was because of her. A warmth grew in her stomach as she just watched him.

“Well,” he finally managed, wiping at his eyes but still grinning ear to ear. “If it’s not something like _that_ then what exactly has caused you to need such a sum?”

“Actually, well, it was because of my talk with Morrigan earlier.”

“You talked with Morrigan?” he asked, all sense of playfulness going away.

“Yea, we had a serious talk about, well,” she rubbed her arm. This was starting to get into territory she wasn't comfortable talking to him about at all, let alone when they weren’t in the fade. “Lots of stuff, but something specific.”

“Oh?” he arched a brow, her distraction seeming to work. “And what might that be?”

“Well, apparently she sensed some latent magical abilities in me.” Kara shrugged one shoulder, flustered about the subject for whatever reason.

“Latent...” he sat up, eyes wide with wonder. “You’re a mage?”

“I guess!” she huffed, exasperated. “She suggested I train up in it, that if I want to be helpful I could do that alongside my tempest training. So, if I wanna do that then I need-”

“You’ll need a staff,” he finished for her, glowing.

“Yea, that.”

His grin back in place, Solas quickly stood and rounded his desk. With astounding agility, Solas bounded up a second wooden structure and rummaged around for a moment before letting out a quick “Ah-ha!” and leaping back down to the ground. In his hands was something long and wrapped in cloth tied with twine.

“Solas…” Kara cooed as he walked up to her slowly.

“Here, take this.” He handed her the package. 

She took it from him, pulling the string and letting it unravel to the floor before pulling at the cloth underneath to reveal the shining silver of what looked like a mace head. Kara’s eyes widened. “Solas, this isn’t…”

But he didn't answer, instead just crossing his arms while she continued to unwrap it, the cloth falling to the floor.

“This is an acolyte ice staff,” she gasped out.

“Good eye.”

“This is _your_ staff. The one you had when you first went to the rift; when I-” she stopped herself, stuttering. “W-when Lavellan met you for the first time.”

“That’s true, I was still using this staff at that time, I'm surprised you knew that.” He tilted his head.

“I know more than you’d think,” she chuckled. “But Solas, I can’t accept this. This is _yours_.” She moved to give the staff back to Solas, but he held out his hands to stop her.

“I insist,” he stepped back and crossed to sit in his chair once more. 

“Really, I'd feel so bad taking this for free. At least let me pay you for it.”

“I have a proposition for you,” he started, crossing his legs and lacing his fingers. “How about, you use mine until you’re able to get your own.”

“Oh, well,” she looked down at the beautiful thing in her hands. The leather was worn and soft from use, the metal was polished and icey to the touch. It was a beautiful staff. “Yea, I guess that’s okay. But just until I get my own,” she reiterated.

“Of course,” he reassured with a smile. “And it would appease me greatly if you were to let me become your teacher on such matters.”

“You want to… teach me?” she asked, flattered.

“Nothing would please me more.”

A little flushed, Kara’s hands tightened on the staffs grip. “Well, I'd like that.”

“Perfect!” he cheered and stood up. “Then what do you say we start now.”

“Okay, cool. Yea.” Kara stood after him, saff clutched to her chest as she followed him back out of the rotunda; but before they’d exited the side hall he stopped and turned to her.

“Also, while I understand your need to speak to someone I would ask that, next time, you perhaps consider speaking to me instead.”

“What?” she questioned, stopping just before she ran into his back. “Are you talking about the stuff with Morrigan?”

“Yes. She isn't as knowledgeable as she seems to think she is.”

Kara giggled, raising a hand to cover her mouth.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Because you’re funny,” she said through her fit. “I forgot you weren’t a big fan of hers.”

“While that is true, I am serious. I don’t trust the woman and would feel much more comfortable if you would come to me on any matters in the future.”

“Leliana was the one who suggested I talk to her.”

“In any case, just keep my words in your mind. And with that having been said, let us train.”

“Yes!” Kara cheered, following him out onto the ramparts.

. . .

With a heartwarming sense of fulfilment, Solas made his way back up to Lavellan’s room. After a few solid hours of training he and Kara said their goodnights and he wasted no time to report back. He was excited to tell her of how her suggestion had been a success. Their friendship seemed to be back on track and it was wonderful. 

“ _Ma vhenan_ ,” he called out eagerly as he entered the room. “You were right, everything went-”

Stopping in his tracks, Solas felt his heart sink. As he entered the room he quickly located the inquisitor standing in the exact position that he had left her; leaning against the windowsill. She was even wearing the same clothes. The turned at the sound of his voice, her usual smile lighting up her face at his presence. 

“You’re back,” she cooed and crossed the room and wrapping her arms around him.

“I am,” he said, wary. He responded slowly, but eventually held her back. “Are you… are you feeling okay?” he asked.

“Of course!” She chirped back, flashing him a faint but sweet smile. “So did you get to talk with Kara? How did it go?”

Kara moved to her bed and sat, motioning for him to do the same. He pushed his worry aside for the moment, assuming that it must have been a coincidence and that he was making a mountain out of nughills. Instead he sat beside her and began to tell her of his day, and the successes within it, though the nagging feeling never left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP. Things are getting... _weird_... to say the least. I guess you're wondering what this all means? What's going on with Lavellan? WELL, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE. I promise it wont disappoint.
> 
>  **Translations** _(do i even need this one this time?)_  
>  **Ma Vhenan:** My heart


	33. The Dream’s Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little longer than the last one, since it's been a while; Also... fluff...this is not.
> 
> More notes at the end of the chapter.

With closed eyes, Kara took a deep breath in an attempt to center herself, the cold metal of her staff seeping through the leather and into her hand. She waited as the energy built inside of her, she felt it swirl and grow and when it hit the sweet spot she pushed it through her and opened her eyes to once again see no results.

“Agh!” She grunted, her irritation growing. She was doing everything right! She had to be; what could be wrong? With a huff, Kara let herself fall to the ground, landing on the soft dirt with a dull thud. She had fallen asleep that night with the idea that she could practice in the fade and then impress Solas the when they’d train together again, but nothing was working. She had been able to create a whole fireworks show with ice just hours earlier, what was different now?

_Besides being so close to Solas, you mean?_

Kara blushed and scowled at her inner voice. Yes. Besides that.

She tried to remember what it was that Solas had told her during her training, maybe she was still missing something.

_“Take in a deep breath and hold it a moment,” he began and stood straight beside her. She watched as he took air in through his nose and held his staff out in front of him. “Feel the energy inside you build, feel it flowing through you and send it from your core down into your arms and then into your hands. Your staff is an extension of your body, just like any weapon, utilize it. Send your energy into it and let it manifest as the elements.”_

_Kara nodded, her attention fully on him and his movements._

_He turned to her then. “Now you.” He motioned towards her and she stared at him a moment before jumping a little and moving to copy his stance._

_“Almost. Make sure your arms aren’t perfectly straight, bend the elbows slightly.”_

_Kara’s whole body became a live wire as she felt him behind her, his chest pressed against her back. He reached the length of her arms, grasping her wrists and positioning her body correctly. She couldn’t tell if she was dying or if she was the just happiest she’d ever been; either way, it was an intense feeling._

_“Now close your eyes,” he cooed all too close to her ear, and she obeyed. “And feel it your chest,” and she did. She could feel a building of something, threatening to explode out of her._

_“And when you feel it at its peak, push it through your limbs,” he sighed, and she did. It pulsed through her arms and warmed them, slowly finding its way to her hands._

_“Then let it flow out of your fingers and into the staff. Let it become your conduit. Feel the connection between you and the metal as it becomes an extension of yourself.”_

_It made Kara gasp, but she felt it happen. It was as if her arm had grown in milliseconds and she could feel the staff as if it were a part of her own body. But before she could even begin to process this new appendage, she was burning. She gasped, jerking back into Solas and her eyes almost opened, but his hand steadied her and his voice calmed her nerves._

_“Don’t be afraid,” he sighed into her ear, “it is only the magic. Just let it take the path of least resistance through your fingers and out._

_She gathered herself and let go, the heat rushing quickly though her fingertips and into the staff._

_”Now open!” Solas yelled and her eyes grew wide just in time to see the ice forming at the tip of her spear and shoot into the air, cracking and splitting in a satisfactory way, flying across the battlements and into the distance beyond the wall._

Solas had praised her, his face lighting up into a smile that was uncharacteristic for him and she felt so happy. She took a deep breath and stood again. No point in just giving up. If she was going to get any better, then she was going to have to keep pushing. It had taken her awhile to get used to reading music too, and now she could play anything if she put her mind to it. Effort. That’s what made the difference in these matters.

With closed eyes and a new resolve Kara took in a deep breath through her nose and began to feel the magic pooling in her chest once more. It bloomed and grew and just before it reached its pinnacle a hand came down on her shoulder.

“AH!” She shouted, startled, and swung her staff quickly behind her only to be caught and the sudden halt of her swing ringing through her whole body.

A familiar chuckle echoed into her ears and she looked up to find Solas smiling down at her.

“And what might you be doing?” He asked

“Oh! Uh-um.” Kara pulled the staff back to her side, rubbing it nervously. “Sorry, I didn't expect you.”

“Were you practicing?” he asked.

“Oh, kinda.” Kara pulled a piece of her hair behind her ear and looked back up to him. “I wanted to impress you tomorrow.”

“Well, I am very glad you are so committed, though I do not think that it will be very beneficial to practice here.” Placing one hand on his neck and the other on his hip, Solas looked around. Kara sighed, letting herself fall onto one of the mossy stones, her expression dropping. He faltered then, “though not useless, as perfecting your form is always advantageous.”

“No, you’re right, nothing was happening.” Kara sighed and crossed her arms over her knees. “I don’t know what’s wrong, I was doing so well earlier.” something dawned on her then and she looked back up to the proud elf standing before her.

“Kara,” he began, but she interrupted him.

“Wait,” she shot up, giving him an accusatory look. “You weren’t helping me before, were you?”

Solas laughed; it began as a light chuckle before erupting. 

“Are you laughing at me?” she demanded.

“Not in the way that you think.” He calmed himself before continuing, stepping closer her and resting a hand on her shoulder. “I assure you, everything you did yesterday came from within yourself, and while practicing here may prove fruitless when it comes to magical production, it will surely help with your meditation and stances.”

“So wait, if it’s not me then why can't I manifest anything?” she whined.

“Because you are in the fade,” he said, motioning around them. “This plane of the fade is not conducive to magic, or at the very least, unfavorable.”

“Oh,” Kara looked down, her face etched with a determined bewilderment. 

Solas chuckled once more, her saturated expression tickling him. “While, your dedication is admirable, perhaps you should rest.” 

Kara glanced up to see Solas sit down on one of the stones and pat the space next to them. With a conceding sigh she joined him, throwing herself back to lie on the flat surface. “I am pretty exhausted.”

“Then let’s just talk.” 

“Like we used to,” Kara added, looking over to Solas to find a patient and content smile on his face that warmed her cheeks.

“Yes, like we used to,” he repeated.

“Okay, well,” she floundered, embarrassed, “what did you want to talk about?”

“Tell me about your world,” he inquired.

“I’ve told you quite a bit about it, is there much more you want to know?”

“Tell me about your life then, what it was like for you personally. One can only learn so much from history books.”

“That’s a good point.” Kara sat up and tilted her head.

“As long as it does not bother you to share such information,” Solas added.

“Oh no, of course not.” Kara looked down at her hands and sighed a heartbreaking smile forming on her lips, “I just don’t think of it often.”

“Is familial life much different from here? Was yours?”

“Not really, I had a mom and a dad and a little brother; he’s much younger than me, seven years.”

“You must not have much in common.”

“Not really. We were close for a while but after I left for college we drifted apart. My mom and I are pretty different, she's much more abrasive and in control of herself than I am. My dad and I are very similar, on the other hand. We used to talk about space and science and stuff for hours, just listen to music and hang out together.” She chuckled to herself, thinking of a memory. “There was one time when we were listening to this very existential band and just dancing and our dog got so excited that he began jumping around with us too and I just remember feeling so happy watching my dad dance with my dog. It was like none of the problems we had were real in that moment.”

“Problems?”

“My family was pretty poor and it really took a tole on my parents. They tried to keep it hidden from us but I was a smart kid, I could see how much it weighed them down; but they cared so much for me and my brother. They tried so hard to hide it from us. I wanted to help, but what could I do, I was a kid, you know?”

Solas stayed silent for a moment and just watched Kara’s expressions shift through a tumultuous state. She was smiling but there was a lingering sadness behind it all that he could sense.

“You must miss them dearly,” he commented.

“I guess, but I mean, everyone leaves home eventually.”

“Your situation is quite far from the norm,” Solas insisted. 

Kara didn't respond, instead she stayed quiet and pulled at her fingers.

“Please, you can always speak to me,” Solas’s voice was soft as he placed a comforting hand on her leg. “You know that right?”

“I do,” she almost whispered. 

“Kara,” Solas reached down and pulled her face up to look at him, “talk to me. You miss them.”

It was as if she had been a volcano and his kindness was the faultline that pushed it over the edge. 

“Of course I miss them!” Kara yelled, ripping her face away and balling her fists but Solas didn't flinch. “I miss them every day! I’m supposed to be an adult but I don’t _feel_ like one! I just feel like some kid in her parents clothes, parading around but in way over her head! And then the times I want to go to my mom and curl back up in her lap and ask her for advice and I can’t!” 

Solas stayed quiet, just placing a hand on her back and letting her vent. 

“I’m terrified! What if I can't ever go home!? Solas...” Kara looked up at him slowly, her eyes filled with tears. “What if I never get to see them again?”

Without saying a word, Solas pulled Kara to him, wrapping his arms around her as her head pressed against his chest. He let her sob, caressing her hair and only breaking the silence to coo the occasional, “It’s alright” or “I’m here”.

After she had seemed to have cried herself out, Solas gave her a light hug and Kara looked up at him with a sniffle and a smile.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall apart on you,” Kara blushed. 

“Please, do not apologize, I am flattered that you would show such a side of yourself to me.”

Solas’s reassuring smile cheered her up immensely but, as if to one up even himself, he rubbed her cheek, wiping her tears, and commented, “You are quite the eccedentesiast during the waking hours.”

“Was that a joke?” Kara scoffed.

“I suppose one could say that,” he grinned, pulling a chuckle from Kara that caused Solas to hug her once more. “There’s the Kara I remember. But on a more serious note, please do not hesitate to come to me if such worries come into your mind again; alright?”

Kara nodded, smiling ear to ear.

“And be sure to practice tomorrow; I understand that this has been a consequential moment, but I don’t want you using it as an excuse to not train.” His tone was serious but his face gave away the teasing nature of the statement.

Of course! Who do you think I am?” Kara laughed, pushing him off of her. “Besides, I’m way too excited about this magic stuff to just skip a day.”

“Good. I’ll be looking forward to your progress.” 

Kara awoke the next morning rested far more than she would have thought, the conversation having a cathartic effect on her she hadn’t expected. With a new and happy resolve she dressed and went down to the main hall to find a very focused Varric vigorously writing at the table by the fireplace. Quietly, Kara snuck up behind the Dwarf and quickly grabbed his shoulders.

“What’chya writing!?”

With a squeak and a jump, Varric turned to her, sufficiently startled. “You!” he shouted, his bellowing laugh flowing freely, “You scared the shit out of me!”

“I’m honoured!” She said with an exaggerated bow. “I didn’t think I would be able to.”

“You ever think about becoming a rogue?” He raised a brow. “You’d make a good one.”

She giggled and reddened a little, knowing that her embodiment of the characters she’d played _did_ imply that she could if she wanted. “I mean, I could, though recently I was told by Morrigan that I'm a mage so I've been training with Solas.”

“A mage huh!? Wow, congratulations. Though, training with some blades wouldn’t hurt either. Magic is good for distance, but close up you’d still be vulnerable.”

Kara put a finger to her chin, “that is a good point.”

“I’m not too keen with them, and I don't think Sera does much with them either, but I bet if you asked Cole he would be up for it. You two get along don’t you?”

“I guess,” she shrugged. “I like him, but we don’t interact often, but I'd like to talk to him more. Maybe I'll take you up on that challenge.”

“Anyway! Back to what you had asked me earlier,” he cheered, pulling out the chair beside him. 

“Yes!” she responded in kind, sitting beside him and looking down at the pages on the table. “What’s all this?”

“Well, I was recently informed that a certain seeker in our troop was interested in my smutty book series, _Swords & Shields_ and was asked to continue writing it for her.”

“Oh! Yes! She loves it.”

“Was I the only one who was unaware?” he sighed, shaking his head. “Well, I wasn't planning on finishing it, she's lucky I’m doing this at all. This book is easily the worst I've ever written. The last issue barely sold enough to pay for the ink. I just can’t wait to see the look on her face when I deliver it to her in person" 

“How much do you have left to write?” she asked, leaning on her elbows and looking up at him.

“I just finished, actually. All that’s left is to bind it up and give it to her.” He gathered the papers, standing and giving off just a beamingly proud look and Kara’s mouth dropped a little.

It wasn't often that she and Varric hung out but every time they did she seemed to forget what a magnanimous and amazing person he was. He was dashingly handsome and his character was so strong and true. She was truly spellbound by him.

“You want to come with me when I give it to her?” he asked, pulling from her transfixed state.

“What? Oh, yea sure!” she jumped up and grinned. “I’d love to!”

. . .

"What have you done now?" Cassandra spat as the two slowly approached her

Varric stopped and posed in a sassy stance, smirking. "I get it, seeker, you're still sore after our spat." 

"I'm not a child, Varric. Do not suggest I’m without reason." 

With a pacifistic look, Varric extended a hand, in which was the bound and finished book. "A peace offering; the next chapter of _Swords & Shields_. I hear you're a fan." 

"This is the Inquisitor’s doing." 

"Oh, yes. She told me all about your obsession with my… wonderful writing." 

Cassandra scowled, crossing her arms as her face became pinched. 

Varric threw up his hands in defeat, turning to walk away. "Well, if you're not interested, you're not interested. Still needs editing, anyhow." 

"Wait!" she shouted, her eyes widening and reaching out for him in desperation.

"Ha!” he chuckled and walked back to her. “You're probably wondering what happens to the knight-captain after the last chapter." 

"Nothing should happen to her.!” She yelled, “she was falsely accused!" 

"Well, it turns out the guardsman--" 

"Don't _tell_ me!" she interrupted, snatching the book from his hands.

"Make sure you thank the inquisitor when she gets back. I don’t normally give sneak peaks after all." His tone was dismissive but his face gave away his glee at her admiration.

"I wonder if I have time to read the first part?" she mumbled walking back to her seat.

"Don't forget to tell all your friends! If you have any.” He sighed as he walked away. “Completely worth it."

Kara began to follow Varric back to the main hall when something caught her up.

“Wait, where _is_ the Inquisitor…” she froze, stopping the other two in their tracks. She looked around, her brow raising in realization that the courtyard was emptier than usual. “And Solas… and Iron Bull… and Sera… and Cullen? Where is everyone?”

“Oh,” Cassandra resumed her seated position, waving off the questioning. “They went on a mission for Cullen. Something about red lyrium.”

“Ah, I remember that,” Kara crossed her arms. “That’s good. He needed that. It’ll be cathartic for him.”

“Good, guy need something to chill him out a little bit,” Varric said with a chuckle, starting back towards the main hall. “He’s been a little rough lately.”

“Yea, poor guy.” Kara kept her contemplative demeanor as they walked up the main staircase and almost walked into Varric’s back when they reached the top. 

“Morrigan,” he acknowledged her, though in a questioning tone. 

“I need to speak with Kara,” she said, getting right to the point, as usual.

“Well, I believe I'm done with her,” he turned to Kara, a loving look in his eyes. “You are dismissed.”

“Oh, yea, sure,” she mumbled, rushing around him to Morrigan, who was already turning and leading her through the halls.

“Don’t be too hard on her,” he called out, his voice disappearing behind them.

Kara followed in silence as Morrigan led her through a door and down a set of stairs until they reached a private room alongside the kitchens.

“So… you wanted to talk to me?” Kara asked, nervously walking along the edge of the room until she reached an overstuffed couch and sat, twiddling her fingers nervously.

“Yes,” Morrigan sighed, crossing the room with her eyes closed and hands behind her back. “You recall our conversation yesterday, do you not?”

Kara perked at the question. The witch was intimidating and she hadn’t really known what to expect from her asking to speak alone with her, but this was not it. “About my past?”

“‘Tis somewhat what I wish to speak of, but more specifically the issues between and our Inquisitor.”

“Oh.” Kara looked down at her hands. “Did you find something?”

“I have,” Morrigan said, her tone serious. She sat in a chair across from her and leaned on her hands, her eyes boring into Kara’s. “I have been meditating and some things have come to light.”

“L-like what?”

“As I said before, you and your counterpart have differing agendas.”

“Yes, you said that, what does that mean exactly?”

“You mentioned that when you and our Inquisitor inhabit the same space you both become ailed?” 

“Yes,” Kara straightened and became a little more serious. “I don't know exactly how it affects her, but when we’re too close I feel almost nauseous. My vision gets blurry and I just feel… bad.”

She nodded in response. “You were never meant to be here,” she began. “Your presence compromises yourself and everything around you. That is why you are stricken sick in her presence,” she explained. “You are everything that she is, but she is not everything that you are. In the end only one of you may persist and, in the end, that one is most likely to be you.”

“Me?” she asked. “Why me?”

“Because you are of stronger essence,” she attempted to explain. “She only exists as she is because you exist, therefore you are the source of her being. As the final hour approaches it will be interesting to see who emerges from the fracas.”

“Wait,” Kara felt her stomach sink, “what do you mean? What’s going to happen to us?” 

Morrigan sighed and gave her a concerned and motherly look that almost had an antithetical effect on Kara. “Only one of you may continue to exist. To placate the disturbance one of you must perish.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legitimately wished that I could romance Varric. I don’t usually go for Dwarf characters but Varric is just the whole fucking package. Hes sexy as all hell and clever and funny and sweet. I swear… Honestly, it’s probably a good thing that he wasn't a romance option since I already had such a hard time choosing between Solas, Sera, Iron Bull, AND Cullen. (my husband was the one who pushed me to go for Solas, having finished the game already he knew I'd love their arc so much and he was right. Damn him.) I usually have no trouble choosing a romance partner; I knew I was going to romance Garrus before I even started Mass Effect. And when I play Andromeda I’m going to romance Jaal. like… its never this hard. These characters are ALL so good. But that’s a good thing I guess. And hey, I got to get a little of it out of my system in this chapter.


	34. For Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm the worst! I know! I'm sorry this took so long! I have no excuse! Forgive me!
> 
> I don't know if any of you care about stuff like this but I always listen to music while i write and (at least for the last bit) I was listening to Evermore from the new Beauty and the Beast movie just like, on loop. There's a really good Solavellan AMV (is that even the right term in this case?) for the song. I'll link it below. It's pretty sad, honestly (spoiler alert) It fits pretty well, and probably will for the next chapter too.  
> (said video) - https://youtu.be/OY10sgJAUG0
> 
> Anyway.... here's some more angsty heartbreak for you.

With a jolt, Kara awoke from a nightmare that had plagued her sleep. She had been talking to the Inquisitor as the two began fading away. Everyone ran to the Inquisitor’s side in panic, asking if she was okay and what they could do. It was like a dagger in her heart, the final twist coming when when Solas turned and glared at her, all the blame and anger in the world in his eyes.

A nightmare? Really? When was the last time she even _dreamt_ let alone had a nightmare. What did it mean? Was this proof that what Morrigan said was really true? Was there really some kind of universal tug-of-war happening? It might explain why, for the first time since she’d arrived in Ferelden, she hadn’t visited the fade in her sleep. The notion honestly scared her. She crossed her legs and pressed her face into her hands, recalling her conversation the week or so prior with Morrigan. 

_”So, you’re saying that the Inquisitor is going to die… because of me?” Kara stood shocked._

_”Most likely, but not necessarily,” Morrigan attempted to explain. “One of you must go for the other to stay, but that doesn’t mean that the decision is already made. While the universe seems to be pushing your hand, ‘tis in fact_ your _hands that it is in. Because you are the stronger of the two presences, ‘tis you that shall hold the final decision. If you desire to endure then it shall be you who endures.”_

 _”So,” she paused and looked at her hands, “if I choose_ not to then… will she?”

_“If you were to force your energy to be the weaker of the two then it could be possible, but,” Morrigan shrugged. “The decision is yours, choose wisely.”_

What was she going to do? What kind of decision was this? She had to choose herself right? Who just chooses to disappear? It was too much to think about, it made her feel so guilty and overwhelmed. Maybe she could just train and get her mind off of it.

Quickly dressing, Kara grabbed her bag and left the room, crossing the courtyard quickly and making her way across the ramparts and into the attic entrance to the Herald's Rest to find Cole. She had been training with him, to great success, each day while Solas was busy with his research or other Inquisition business and then she would train with the mage at night. Cole was a very sweet and attentive teacher; his spirit abilities making it very easy for him to find what held her back in her efforts. She was quickly becoming a formidable magical assassin. 

“Cole-o, you ready for some training?” she asked as she rounded the corner past the steps to find an empty attic. “Cole?” She looked around, going the whole perimeter of the walkway without luck and shrugged to herself. He must be busy with other things. 

Defeated, she changed her plans, hoping that she could at least get some mage training in. If Solas was also busy then she’d just have to practice alone for a time until one of her master teachers became available. She quickly made her way Solas’s room only to stop with her hand on the door.

Inside she could hear voices, his and the Inquisitors. They were talking about something that seemed important. 

“-by Redcliffe farms?” 

“Yes,” Solas answered. “It is hidden somewhere underground nearby. It has yet to unseal but it is quite strong and should be dealt with before it can cause issue for horsemaster Dennet and his family.”

“I agree. Is there any other information on it that we know of?”

“Not at the moment,” he paused.

“There is one who does,” came a quiet voice that seemingly went ignored. 

“When would you like to go?”

“We should deal with it quickly. Cole, would you please gather Sera and Iron Bull to-” the Inquisitor’s voice stopped and became confused. “Cole? Where did he go?”

“You know about the rift,” came a voice from just behind Kara, who had been so engrossed in their conversation that it took all of her control to not scream. She turned to see that Cole had appeared behind her.

“Jesus Christ! Cole! You scared the hell out of me!”

“It was not my intention, I assure you.”

“I believe you, Cole. It’s okay.” Kara took a deep breath, hand on her chest, attempting to calm her racing heart.

“You know about the rift, you should come along,” he insisted.

“About the rift?” Kara asked. “What rift?”

“The one they speak of.”

“Do _you_ know which rift they’re talking about? You seem to.”

“I do not, but I can tell that you do. It will be much safer if you come. You know things that no one could, you will in this case as well.”

“I dunno,” Kara rubbed her arm. “I think I'd be more of a burden than help.”

“You are unsure because doubt clouds your mind, but you are capable. They will invite you because they are as sure of you as you are unsure. They would trust you with their lives.”

She sighed in defeat. “Okay, okay, I’ll talk to them at least.” She reached once more for the door to join them.

“One should remember the fallacy of selfishness,” he muttered.

“What?” Kara stopped, turning to look at the boy again.

“There is nothing wrong in doing things that make you happy because, where happiness, bliss, and joyousness exist, there is no evil.”

“Wow, Cole. That was… beautiful,” she said, agape.

“What sorrowful woes are hidden by the tempting light of a dagger's reflection. A line once crossed, nary wary the blissfully ignorant, never to be mended, making decisions as though blinded.” He reached up, his hands snaking through the air as if to touch something that wasn't there. “The smoke escapes from a pipe, never to go back inside. That is why it is so hard to decide. Everything is possible when one does not. Selfishness, no, does not exist. Consequence, though, always persists.”

“Wait, what?” she stopped, holding up her hand; but before she could get an answer from him the door behind her opened.

“Oh, Cole is out here” Solas spoke over his shoulder. “And he’s found a friend.”

“Hey,” Kara waved sheepishly.

“What brings you here, _lethallan_?”

“I-”

“She has useful information, she knows about the rift,” Cole answered for her.

“No, I don’t know if-”

“If she knows about it then she should come,” Lavellan declared.

“She is the Oracle, after all,” Solas added with a grin. “Would you?”

“I-I,” Kara;s eyes flashed to everyone else’s; even turning to look at Cole, desperately searching for an excuse. “I would only be a hindrance! Besides, I don’t even have a staff yet!”

“Well, I was planning on waiting a little while, but now seems to be a more appropriate time.” Solas walked back into the room, rummaging through the things he had piled under one of the scaffolding pieces and returning with something long and wrapped in cloth. 

Kara stood in awe, staring at the item in the mage’s hands.

“Take it,” he insisted. “It’s for you.”

She reached forward, taking it and pulling the string that unraveled the wrapping to reveal a new stave. It was an archmage ice staff with a matching blade and blue leather wrap grip. It was beautiful. “Solas, where...?”

“Don’t worry,” he stopped her, “I didn't spend a cent on it. I crafted it myself. It is not unheard of for masters to craft their apprentice’s first stave.”

“Solas, I…” she was in shock. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

“Thank you is enough,” he responded with a smile. “Now that you’re armed, lets go and gather the others.”

. . .

“It’s nice to be back out here again,” Kara sighed, holding her arms out beside her and closing her eyes. The wind danced across her skin and smiled. 

It had been quite a while since she’d gotten out of the castle at all, let alone all the way to the Hinterlands, she’d missed it. She made a mental note to talk to Iron Bull about possibly taking her out more. She especially wanted to go back to the Storm Coast. After her conversation with Solas, she missed the beach more than ever.

“Don’t fall off your horse,” Iron Bull joked. “I don’t really want to have to leap from mine to catch you.”

Kara gave him a dirty look through a squinted eye. “I’m fine!” she scoffed, gripping the reins again. “I know how to hold onto a horse with my legs. It’s not that far anyway.”

“I dunno,” he grinned, “you’re a tiny little thing, you might snap in two from that height.”

“I would not!” she shot back, playfully. 

“She is correct,” Solas cut in, his horse coming up to stop beside hers. “Kara has trained herself into quite a warrior.”

“Well, sure,” Bull scoffed, “I saw her training, I knew she had it in her.”

“I’m not as weak as I used to be. You’ll see.”

“Indeed,” Solas said with a smile, obviously proud of her. “Now, you know where we need to go, correct?”

“I’ll see?” He asked, his playfulness fading. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, though was ignored.

“The cave isn’t that far from here. It’s just northwest of the Astrarium outside of Radcliffe farms.

“Wonderfull, lead the way, _lethallan_ ,” Solas said and they set off.

It took only a few minutes to get to the entrance and everyone stopped around it, looking to Kara for confirmation. 

“This is it,” she said confidently, getting down from her horse. The others quickly followed suit, preparing themselves to ender. Kara straightened her clothes, checking the tightness of her dagger holsters before taking a deep breath, her nerves encroaching. Her mind was a riotous mess as she attempted to prepare to talk about what they were going to find once inside the cave; but before she could truly begin to spiral she felt a hand come to rest on her shoulder.

“You are capable, they will see that. Speak from the diaphragm.”

Kara turned to see Solas standing beside her. “I’ve never given a briefing like this before.”

“It’s just like when we’re back in Skyhold. Don’t let your nerves get the better of you. I believe in you,” Solas said to her with a grin and Kara could feel all her fears melt away, walking forward to address the group.

“Okay,” she began loudly and commanding the attention of the group. “The rift is in the deepest, main chamber of the cave behind me. Once the rift is opened there will be two waves of demons that will come through. The first wave will be a rage demon and a pride demon. Once they’ve been defeated the second wave will be another pride and rage demon along with four wraiths. 

“The pride demons have a resistance to electricity and are immune to asleep, frozen, paralyzation, and any physical effects; but are weak to spirit magic. 

“The rage demons may occasionally enlarge and gain a barrier, as well as immunity to the following attack types: physical effects, fear, asleep, paralyzation, and taunts. Once the barrier is destroyed, the rage demon will return to normal size and lose its immunities. They are also, as expected, weak to ice magic.

“Once the demons have been taken care of the rift will be closed and the mission will have been a success. Once everyone is ready please gather at the entrance of the cave.”

Kara took a deep breath and walked back to her horse, letting her forehead fall into its shoulder.

“That was good!” Iron Bull cheered, slapping her back a little harder than she was prepared for. 

“Ugh! Thanks,” she coughed, leaning more into her horse now than before.

“Yes, you did quite well,” Solas agreed, walking over to join them. 

“Thanks, it felt like my heart was going to explode.”

“Come’on! Are you guy’s ready or not!?” Sera’s boisterous voice rang out. 

“Everyone else is ready as soon as you are, _ma vhenan_ ,” Lavellan called out with a smile. 

He nodded, waving at the girls with an excited grin before saying, “And so it begins,” and making his way to meet them.

Kara followed, stopping to grab the adorned torch of veilfire just outside of the entrance. Explaining when Solas gave her a raised brow. "It's going to be very dark down there. I figured we should take some with."

“Perhaps we should each take something?” he asked with a sly grin before picking up a thicker branch and lighting it with his own veilfire and eliciting a small giggle from Kara.

“Wait, she’s not coming inside?” Bull questioned loudly, walking up beside the two.

“What?” Kara asked, slightly stunned.

“Well, of course she is. She is an invaluable member of our team,” Solas answered.

“Which is exactly why she _shouldn’t_ be coming,” Bull insisted.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kara growled, stepping forward, but was stopped by Solas’s outstretched arm.

“Kara has been training for the express purpose as to accompany us into situations such as these. She has trained long, hard hours and in both my, and Cole’s, opinion, is prepared for this.”

“So you’re just gonna throw her right into the line of fire?”

“She is not going to be on the front lines by any means. She will be in the back as a secondary defense.” 

“You really think that makes it okay? Something like this, a pride demon, for her first real fight?” he spat back.

“Would you rather her go against people?” Solas questioned. “Do you not think it would be easier for her to come to terms with violence with something as detached as a demon than with a living person who may have familial ties? Do you honestly think that would be better?”

Iron Bull opened his mouth but only managed to push out “The Qun” before Solas had started up once again.

“ _The Qun_ ,” he spat, “might have taught you not to look at enemies as _people_ and _you_ might be able to kill without remorse, but Kara is not as cold hearted and-”

“Stop!” Kara finally yelled, stepping between the two, turning first to Solas. “Thank you for standing up for me but I know that demons are only twisted spirits. I know that you also know this and while I can only assume you’re not talking about this to help appease me, no matter what, killing is going to be something hard to come to terms with; but killing to protect the ones I love makes it worth the pain. Despite that fact, it was uncalled for to insinuate that Iron Bull is cold hearted. He is anything but and the Qun does not define him.”

“And you,” she said turning then to Iron Bull, her eyes aflame, “I am my own keeper. I decide what I am ready for; not you. I chose to come and fight this fight. I will no longer be some weakling to be protected. You do not own me. Back off.”

The two remained silent as Kara took a calming breath before walking off alone towards Sera, whose eyes were as big as dinner plates.

“What was that about?” she asked, her voice sounding concerned but her grin showing her true curiosity shining through.

“Nothing important,” she said dismissively before continuing past her.

Sera shrugged and followed her into the mouth of the cave.

It took almost no time to find the main chamber and once they arrived everyone took their place, settling into position quickly and efficiently. Solas, Sera, Iron Bull, and the Inquisitor stood in a circle around the large green gash in the center of the room with Kara standing on the steps, closest to the exit. 

The Inquisitor turned to her team and held up her hand. “Everyone ready?”

“We’re ready,” Solas answered.

“Everyone is in position,” the head mage called out.

Kara downed a bottle of blue liquid and tossed it aside before shouting,“Ready!” and holding out her staff.

“Let’er rip!” Sera yelled, pulling a grin from Lavellan before she stood at the ready as well.

“Alright, here we go!” she cheered as her hand began to glow.

The sharp sound of the rift ripping open echoed in the stone chamber and everyone stood at the ready. Kara held her staff outstretched in one hand and in the other, an ice flask. Green lightning flashed across in front of her as the veil was torn open and stretched in two separate directions. The demons began to take form and Kara smashed the bottle on herself, the ice covering her body and sent a chill through her. The moment the enemy became totally corporeal Kara cast barrier, covering everyone on the floor with a green shimmer and began keeping tabs on where everyone was in order to heal when necessary.

The battle began flawlessly. Sera and the Inquisitor both had set off their own fire flasks, Sera using her newfound stamina to throw as many arrows at the Pride demon as she could, Iron Bull charging it in order to keep its agro away from her long distance attacks. Solas kept the Rage demon busy with winter’s chill while the Inquisitor attempted to disrupt the rift. 

A crack rang out as the plan continued smoothly, the Pride demon’s armour disappearing as the rift turned to a thick mist in the air and opening it for damage. With a flick of her wrists, poison coated her blades and she ran straight for it, getting in a few good swipes before throwing herself back again and getting off a few more skill attacks.

It took little time for the four to whittle down the HP of the two enemies; the air steadying and the silence was deafening as the party waited for the second wave to be summoned. It wasn't long before six new green tendrils extended from the rift and the battle began again.

They had their work cut out for them. Sera and Iron Bull focused the Pride demon and Solas and the Inquisitor tackling the rage demon, all the while attempting to keep the wraiths off of each other's backs. Two went straight for Sera, one behind the other, but Iron Bull was fast, jumping in their path just in time to crash into one of them, but the other stopped and changed trajectory.

“Kara!” Iron Bull screamed, the second wraith slipping past him and straight towards her.

She turned to see it flanking her and quickly pulled a dagger, slicing at it and getting in the last bit of damage before it faded into the air and disappeared.

“Are you okay? Bull managed to push out as his own wraith bashed at his shield. 

“Bull, focus!” Lavellan yelled back at him, forcing him to reluctantly stop and return his attention to the task at hand and killing it just as Sera finished off the Pride demon with a bombardment of arrows.

Heart racing, Kara attempted to do the same, casting a few quick heals before using a energy barrage to throw a wave of hail at the Rage demon. It turned then to Solas, readying an attack. The shield that barrier over him fading at the same time. The flash of it wearing out caught her eye just in time to cast it over them once more but she hadn’t realised that in her countering of the wraith, she had moved her position, leaving Solas just out of the range of it and leaving him exposed.

“Solas!” both Kara’s yelled, the Inquisitor’s voice drowning out her own. With a quick step, Lavellan threw her grappling chain at it, pulling her quickly to its side and giving her own final blow.

Once the area had been cleared, Lavellan gave no time for rest before reaching out her hand and closing the rift, the familiar building crescendo of it filling the room with sound just before snapping shut and throwing the room back into silence once more, though it didn't last long.

Throwing their arms in the air, Sera and Iron Bull rejoiced, cheering and shoving one another in congradulations. The Inquisitor gathered their spoils and led the group out. The happiness was palpable, but Kara couldn’t seem to catch the bug. The whole ride back to Skyhold she trailed behind the rest, her eyes downcast and her mind racing.

She had failed. When Solas had needed her most she made a rookie mistake. She knew that he was in no real danger, that he wouldn’t have died had Lavellan not been there, but it still gnawed at her. It wasn't that she’d messed up, she wasn’t expecting to be perfect and that wasn't expected of her; it was that the failure had made her realize something. While she might be useful to the group, to the Inquisition, she would never be as important to this world as Lavellan would be. 

When they reached the gates, Bull yelled something about drinks being on him but Kara blasted past all of them, leaping from her horse and throwing the reins to master Dennet without making eye contact. The others called after her, but she ignored them, tears threatening to fall at any moment. Instead she ran for her room, locking the door behind her and throwing herself onto her bed. She knew what had to be done.

Her sobs rocked through her body as she laid in a ball on her sheets. She knew who Solas loved, who he deserved. If not for the world could she do it for him? Could she do this? Did she have the strength? The courage? 

In the end it didn't matter, she’d made up her mind. She already knew who was more valuable in the end, who it was that needed to survive… And it wasn’t her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translation Notes**
> 
> **Lethallan:** Casual reference used for someone with whom one is familiar.  
>  **Ma Vhenan:** My Heart  
>  _(Do we even need them for these two anymore?)_  
>  **:**


	35. Unwitting Afflatus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YESTERDAY WAS MY BIRTHDAY! I'm officially 25 today and **SHIT** am I not ready for this quarter life crisis. Though, its been setting in for the entire last year.
> 
> On an entirely _different_ note, I have been so late these past few updates (except for maybe this one) and I wanted to make up for it somehow so I was wondering if you guys would like a little bonus something. The best ideas I have is maybe some fanart or a cover of the songs Kara has sung? Maybe you guys can think of something else I could do? Either comment your preferences or ideas below! (I do really love all your comments. They give me life)

Kara awoke from another restless night. Her sleep once again plagued with nightmares. It scared her. This was the fourth night that she did not visit the fade. She could only assume it was connected to her decision to make sure that she was the one to vanish when the time came, but the knowledge did little to calm her. 

A rapping at the door interrupted her thoughts and startled her, making her feel silly; she took a deep breath before calling out, “who is it?”

“It's the Iron Bull,” his resonant voice answered. “I was going to town. I have some things to pick up and I wondered if you’d like to come along.”

Kara's heart aches at the idea, but she reigned it back. “I'm not feeling very well,” she called back. “Sorry, maybe next time.”

“You've been under the weather since the battle at the rift,” he chided. “You shouldn't have come.”

Anger flared in her then. “It's not that,” she said, forcefully. 

“Oh? What _is_ it then?” he asked, his voice taunting. “Should I get a healer?”

“No it's… it's just lady problems!” she shouted, hoping it would embarrass and derail him. She should have known better. 

“Well if that's the case you should rest, and drink plenty of wine,” his voice had softened but she could tell that he was still a little upset. “I'll ask the barkeep to bring you up some later.”

“No!” she shot straight up, cheeks crimson. She calmed herself before continuing. “No, it's fine. I can get it later if I need it.”

Bull made a noise of understanding and left. Kara sat, waiting, and when she was sure he was gone, let out a sigh. She'd probably hurt his feelings, though he was probably too tough to admit it. She'd trailed to him about everything before. He'd always been there for her, surely he would be again if she turned to him. But she also risked him trying to convince her otherwise and she couldn't afford anything giving her second thoughts now. Either way, she'd been treating him like a second rate friend and that wasn't okay. She'd have to apologize to him later, but in the light of recent events it really wasn't that unusual for someone to act the way she had, right? 

“He will forgive you,” a voice came from within the room. “He will always forgive you.”

Kara's head spun to see Cole sitting atop her dresser and it took all of her control not to scream. Last thing she needed was Iron Bull riding back up to her rescue. 

“Jesus, Cole, you nearly scared me half to death!”

“But that's not true? And what is… no, it's a who,” he tilted his head, puzzled, “who is Jesus?”

“It's a figure of speech,” Kara huffed, “Both of them.”

“You shouldn't keep in your room all day. Your friends worry and miss your company,” Cole said, seemingly past the previous part of their conversation. 

“You're right, I'm being awful aren't I?”

“Solas is on the balcony at the top of the rotunda, he is working on something and wishing you were there. You brighten his mood.” Cole hopped down and smiled softly. “You should see to him today. It will bring you joy.”

Kara sat up but before she could press the suggestion, Cole had vanished. She grumbled. 

_I wish_ I _could poof in and out as I pleased,_ Kara thought. _How convenient._ But his suggestion stuck with her. Maybe she should go and visit him instead of wallowing. 

It was decided then. 

Kara got dressed in a relatively light dress with a heavier coat to keep out the cold, mountain air. It didn't take her long to make her way across the castle to the rotunda and up the steps. She passed Dorian, in his usual chair, nose in a book, and slipped by as to not disturb him; but he saw her despite it.

“Ah, the enchantress has left her fortress,” he teased and she slid to a stop, turning reluctantly and hugging a support beam, shyly.

“I’m sure I don't know what you mean,” she said flatly.

“Of course,” he chuckled. “Truly though, I am happy to see you up and about. Where are you off to today?”

“Oh,” she blushed, looking at the floor and hugging the wood a little tighter. “I’m just going up to the little path on the roof.”

“I believe that Solas went up there only moments ago as well,” he said with a smirk.

“Oh?” she asked, feigning ignorance.

“Which I’m sure you had no idea, of course.”

Kara nodded a little harder than she should have and Dorian burst into laughter.

“Just go and see our little elven snowflake, you heartstruck fool.” 

Kara grinned and shrugged before darting away and up the stairs, Dorian returning to his book with a sigh and a smile.

Though she had almost sprinted her way to the top floor, Kara found herself hesitating at the door to the outside once she reached it. Her hand rested on the handle, unturning. She took a breath and pushed it open, the light blinding her for a moment before she adjusted and walked out into the crisp air. 

The morning sun shone through the clouds creating beautiful rays of light that drifted back down to earth. The particles in the air glinted like sparkles and she could smell the garden down below in the breeze. She glanced around, stepping through the door and closing it behind her. She walked down the path, finding Solas sitting on the cobblestone floor and looking intently at the ivy that creeped up the wall beside him.

“It is good to see you, _lethallan_ ,” Solas said without looking up.

“And you.” Kara smiled, tiptoeing to his side and peeking over his shoulder. “What’chya doing?”

“I’m currently attempting to sketch… this little bumble bee,” he said, glancing up and down from his sketchpad to a bee that Kara hadn’t noticed before who was resting on a flower on the wall.

“Oh,” she said, sitting on the railing. “It’s like I always forget you can draw.”

He laughed at that. “I did paint the walls in the rotunda.”

“Yea! I mean, that’s just it, I know that, but it doesn’t ever seem to click in.”

“I guess it's not often I get the chance to draw with charcoal like this. I used to sketch all the time. I have quite a few journals beside my bedroll of plants that I would find in my travels.”

“Those sound fascinating.”

“It was quite enjoyable and cathartic.” 

“So, was it only ever plants or did you ever draw other things?” she asked.

“I would to portraits for money when the need arose. People seem to quite like being drawn.” 

“That’s very true. What a convenient source of income. I’ve always wanted someone to draw me but I’ve never had the money for it. Can’t expect art for free, you know.” Solas nodded, enraptured by his subject.

Standing before quietly squatting down beside him, Kara peered over him, looking at the paper. His sketch was almost photorealistic. It took the breath right from Kara’s lungs, her eyes turning to dinner plates and her jaw dropping. 

“Solas, that’s amazing!” She shout-whispered. 

“Thank you,” he said, giving her a grin that sent a bold down her spine. 

She blinked, standing and stepping back, startling the bee.

“Oh no! I scared it off!”

“Nonsense, I had completed it,” he said, tearing it out and handing it to her to examine.

“This really is incredible,” she repeated.

“If you like it so much, then it's yours,” he commanded. 

“What!?” she shouted. “No, I couldn't.”

“You can, and you will.” 

Kara stared at him a moment before looking back down at the sketch. “Truly, I-,” she paused, “thank you… But why? Isn't it important to you?”

He stood, “this,” he touched his fingers to her chin, pulling her gaze back up to him, “this look you have right now is why.”

Kara blushed, her eyes fluttering as she clutched the paper to her chest.

“I would give you the world if it would make you happy. You've been so sad lately. I wish it would give you this smile forever,” he sighed. 

Glee spiked through her, her heart racing, but the feeling quickly fled and was replaced by an emptiness. 

“Shouldn't you be saying that to Lavellan?” she asked, pulling away. 

Solas's eyes dropped, his grin holding a spark of sadness. “Yes, I apologize.”

“It's alright,” she forced a laugh, pulling herself together as much as she could. “I know what you meant. You're a very good friend. Lavellan is a lucky woman.”

“Indeed,” he agreed, accepting her excuse. “You're too kind.”

The two sat in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time before Kara finally stood. 

“Well, I should probably go,” she pushed out. “I promised Sera that we’d… bathe in- in Lavellan’s big bath tonight. I wouldn't want to keep her waiting.”

“Of course,” he gave her a lamentive smile and watched her go. 

Kara ran down the steps two at a time, blasting past a concerned Leliana and Dorian. She didn't slow down until she was out of the rotunda and finally took a breath. She started off towards the pub, assuming she might as well actually do what she had made up as an excuse. She doubted that Sera wouldn’t be up for a bath.

She found Sera in her room above the pub and didn't need to utter much more than the word “bath” before she had grabbed her wrist and basically dragged her back outside. 

“I'm glad you're always up for anything.”

“A’course!” Sera waved it off. “That's what friends are for, innit?”

“Thanks.” Kara squeezed Sera's hand. 

“I could tell from the look on your face that something was up.”

“Yea? Didn't realize I was so easy to read.”

“You're kind of an open book, actually,” can't a rather effeminate and sexy voice from their right. Dorian walked into the main hall them with his hands on his hips and a glint in his eye. 

“You too?” Kara asked.

“I would hope so,” he chuckled, settling in beside them as they walked. “You came running past like a bat out of hell, I could only hope one could deduce that something might be wrong from that.” 

“So what happened exactly, eh?” Sera questioned. 

Kara explained her interaction with Solas, showing them the picture. 

“It was just, embarrassing I guess, I dunno.”

“Damn! Droopy-ears can fucking _draw_.”

“I could see that being quite shocking, indeed.” Dorian rubbed his chin. 

“Seriously! What the shit!? How dare he!”

“You'll figure this all out sweetheart.” Dorian gave Kara a little kiss on her forehead

“Did you even look at it!?” 

Sera shoved the paper in Dorian's face. 

“ _YES_ dear, I _SEE_ it.”

Kara couldn't help but laugh. 

“Who keeps a talent like this secret!?”

“Sera, _dearest_ , he's the one who has been painting the bottom floor of the rotunda.”

“ _ **WHAT!?**_ ” she shouted, stopping in her tracks. 

“Did you not know that?” 

“Why would I?”

“He's been working on it almost every night?” Kara chimed in. 

“This might surprise you, but don't go visit tight-knickers that often.” 

Kara giggled. 

“I hate to interrupt, but why exactly are we going towards the Inquisitors rooms?” Dorian inquired. 

“We were going to take a bath in her big ass tub!” Sera excitedly yelled. 

“Oh! Well, I guess I'll join you then.”

“Uuuhhhhhhhh,” Kara blubbered, turning red. “I dunno about that!”

“What's the matter with you?” Sera asked, both raising an eyebrow at her strange behavior. 

“Well, um,” she stumbled, holding her hand in front of her, “while the two of you aren't attracted to the other gender, I most certainly am, and I'm not sure if I could handle… all of that!”

“But I'm attracted to girls,” Sera asked, “and so are you; but you were okay bathing with just me?”

“That's different! We're both girls!” she insisted. 

“Well, how about this, while you two bathe, I will have an attendant give me a massage behind the curtain instead. I won't see you both, you won't see me. Would that make you more comfortable?”

“Yes,” Kara sighed in relief. 

Dorian chuckled, “Let's go then.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and stepped through the door. 

“You're so strange,” Sera said as she followed them in, “you always talk about how you think Dorian is so hot and wonder ‘what he's hiding under all those pretty robes’, innit what you said?”

“SERA!” she shouted, shoving her. 

Her two friends burst into laughter as the door shut behind them. 

Later, Kara returned to her room, hey hair still slightly damp. While the warm, salted water had calmed her aching muscles, the company had calmed her nerves. Sera and Dorian really were good friends. 

Smiling softly and running her fingers through her hair, Kara say down on her bed. A crunching sound came from beneath her and she leaped back up to find a letter envelope lying on the bed. Curious, she picked it up gingerly opening it and pulling out a pile of papers. Kara's eyes grew wide and she could feel her breath catch in her throat. 

It was her. 

She flipped through the pages, each was a different sketch of her. One in the bar, another of her training, one of her reading. Each a different expression, laughing, smiling, concentrated, excited. She'd never seen herself like this, it was hard to explain all the complex emotions she was feeling. The last page was a letter addressed to her. 

 

_Kara,_

_It genuinely surprised me to hear that no one had ever drawn you before; or perhaps I should say that it surprised me that you had yet to grace someone with the privilege to have you pose for them. Especially since you have been one of my muses for quite some time._

_It hurt me to know that something you had desired for so long was so close to your fingertips without your knowledge so I hope this collection of art finds you well. While it is not all of the images I have depicted of you, for there are some I wish to keep for myself if it does not bother you, I hope that what I have left will bring you a little joy._

_You deserve it._

_Solas_

 

Just when she thought she might burst into tears there was a knock at the door. Kara took a moment to collect herself, shoving the envelope and it's contents under her pillow. 

“Come in!”

The door swung open slowly, Lavellan coming around with a meek look on her face. 

“Do you have a moment to spare? I need to speak with you.”

“Of course, what's up?”

“I've just come from Morrigan,” she explained and Kara's heart fell into her stomach, “she's, well, she's explained everything to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **“Drink plenty of wine”** \- women used to be advised to drink strong wine during their periods.


	36. Biting Tongues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP. It's been over a month, lol. Sorry guys, but I have an excuse, something came up... something wonderful... 
> 
> I'm Pregnant!
> 
> Seriously, I cannot even begin to explain how happy this has made me. My whole life I've been told that i might not be able to have kids and after almost 7 months of no results, a week after my birthday we finally go the positive test and since then it's been like a waking dream. 
> 
> I'm currently 9 weeks and we got our first ultrasound Friday and we were able to hear the heartbeat and i cried and everything is healthy and going good. I'll try to keep you guy's updated in the notes like this if you're interested at all. Also I promise I'll try not to let the updates get so behind again. I might have to replay the game just to keep my knowledge of everything up to date, lol. Whatever it takes, right? Well, enjoy the drama lovies! And wish me luck!

It had not been a conversation she had expected to have had so soon, nor one she’d ever really _wanted_ to have, but one she’d known was inevitable and, now that it was over, she felt drained. Even a night’s sleep hadn’t helped take the weight from her shoulders. 

The endless amounts of understanding that Lavellan was capable of was exhausting. She could tell that the elf did not like the idea of someone sacrificing themselves for her sake, yet was willing to accept the less desireable fact when no other option was truly presented. She held a leadership ability that Kara couldn't even hope to achieve and it made her feel even worse. She’d even promised Kara that she would do everything in her power to find an alternative, but they both seemed to know deep down that it was highly unlikely.

The whole day had gone by in a sort of blur. Eating, training, chores; she went through it all in a trance. She put her now clean sheets back onto her bed without really looking at them, her mind both racing and blank. Once she was sure that it was all together and her room was cleaned, she let herself fall onto the bed face first. That was it, she no longer had anything to distract her. With a groan she rolled over and her eyes fell on the stack of papers on the dresser across the room. The drawings. 

An involuntary smile formed on her lips and she sighed. Maybe she could see what Solas was up to. It might cheer her up, he usually did. With new resolve, Kara stood, gathering some books she’d been studying and setting out. 

It took a little longer than usual to find him, as he wasn’t in the rotunda but instead out by the barns where they usually trained, sitting in the grass with a few books of his own. He seemed to be taking notes on whatever it was that he was reading, which was perfect. They could study together in the yard. She crossed the grass quickly and called out to him.

“Hey!” she waved, “what’chya reading?” 

“Hmm?” Solas looked up at her and grinned. “Just some excerpts on the fade. There is truly little to be found, and what can be is appallingly inaccurate. I’m correcting some of the passages as well as adding some facts of my own.”

“You plan on sending them to the author?” she asked with a giggle.

“Perchance I shall,” he smirked at her sass. 

“I think you would be better off writing your own book on it. I’m sure that Varric could set you up with a publisher.”

“While I think you are correct, I am not the best with prose and should probably stick to my eminence.”

“And the world shall be lesser for it,” she commented, holding out her books. “You mind if I study with you?” 

“Not at all,” he answered, waving a hand for her to join him in the grass. 

She sat down next to him, spreading out her books and opening one up. “It’s strange to see you outside like this.”

“Is it?” He asked.

“Yes, typically you’re always holed up in that room of yours, reading scrolls and such.”

“Perhaps I wanted some fresh air,” he grinned, but did not look up from his papers. “Could that have crossed your mind?”

“Oh yes, because the weather is so permissible at the moment,” she joked, motioning towards the darkly clouded sky.

Solas looked up then with a scowl and sighed. “It was sunny earlier.”

“It was, you must have been quite involved in your books to have not noticed the shift.” She looked back at the sky. “It looks like it might rain soon.”

“Indeed,” he agreed, “but I think we still have some time.”

Kara smiled as Solas returned to his books, writing in the margins before scratching more notes on his parchment. 

“So what book is that exactly?” she asked.

“Oh, a tale of some explorer adventurer who found himself within the fade by chance. He seems to have been quite shaken by the event - his descriptions are quite a bit darker than what is true of the place.”

“You would know, I imagine that you've been more than any other person ever, dead or alive.”

“You flatter me,” he let out a quick breath of embarrassment. “But despite the truthfulness of that, I can understand why one might find the place frightening. I only wish he hadn’t written about it as if it were fact. It would only deter those who might desire to follow in his footsteps.”

“I think that if someone wanted to follow in his footsteps something like danger wouldn't really deter them,” she commented without really thinking on it.

“I do not disagree. Some people are always chasing trouble, and for others, trouble is always chasing them. And there are some, a rare lucky few, for whom trouble seems to have forgotten. While, once in awhile, some from the former group may be blessed with such peace after trouble has had it's fun, it's not entirely common. But still something they might endlessly hope for, even if they do so until the day they die.”

“Wow,” Kara stared in awe. “That was quite deep and insightful.”

“You say that as if I am not typically as such.” 

“If I knew any better I'd think you were talking about us. Trouble seems to chase me and you chase it.”

“You do get into your fair share of trouble.” He chuckled.

“Well, hopefully, with all this training I'll be able to run from it just a little faster.”

“If it's the last thing I do, I will make sure that you are one of those blessed few…”

Kara sat still, a little shocked at the honest, blatant nature of his statement. Her cheeks warmed with blush.

“And you said you weren’t good with prose,” she teased, attempting to hide how much the statement had actually struck her.

“The spoken word is quite far from the written.”

“There you go again,” she poked him lightly. “Maybe you just need someone to follow you around and write down everything you say.”

“I believe I would find that quite abhorrent.”

“I don’t disbelieve that. I think it would only take a day or so before you shot them out of a window or something.”

The two laughed at the image and returned to their books. It wasn't long before Kara felt a raindrop hit her nose and she looked up to see that the clouds had become even darker since. Glancing at Solas, she could tell he was too engrossed to have noticed the impending rain and with a small and heartfelt grin she held up her hand, creating a little barrier over the two of them and holding the now incoming rain at bay. He didn't seem to notice, but his intense concentration sent a wave of pride and happiness through Kara and she looked back down at her books.

The two sat in silence together as the rain poured down around them, the yard clearing of people as they waited for the rain to pass; soon they were the only two left. Quite some time had passed before the silence was broken as Solas asked a seemingly sudden and unprompted question.

“If you were to be forced to make the choice between saving your love and saving everyone else, what then would you do?”

“What?” Kara asked, raising her head, a little startled and confused.

“If something forced you to make such a decision what might you choose in such an instance?”

It was obvious from the strain in his face that whatever Solas had been contemplating before speaking up had taken a good deal of toll on him. She could only assume he was referencing to Lavellan and his turmoil within himself that she knew he was surely going through. Whether the two should be together or not. She knew that at some point his decision would become clear and he would leave her, but she never expected him to come to her about the subject. She wondered if he was asking in reference to what she might do after he was to do so.

“There is a vital difference between she and I,” she answered, misunderstanding. “When it comes to being forced to make a choice between saving her love and saving everyone else, she would have the strength to choose to save everyone else, whereas I would always choose to save-” she cut her sentence short before giving herself away. “To save my love,” she corrected, looking at her hands. “That is my weakness.”

“I would not call compassion weak.”

“Compassion or not, I know, deep within myself, that I would damn an entire peoples for someone I cared about, someone I loved. If that’s not selfishness than I can’t imagine what is.”

“It is not inherently sinful to submit to one’s own selfishness.”

She let out a humourless laugh. “I guess you would know, wouldn't you?” she asked, but immediately regretted it.

“And what might you be referring to?” he asked, defensively.

“Nothing, I'm sorry,” she started, her voice getting away from her and beginning to ramble. “I just meant that, because of, of,” she stumbled over her words, not wanting to say too much outside of the fade.

“You speak of something that it is not your place to speak of.” His voice was harsh and cold.

“I just want to help, to change things if I can, I'm sure I can if I just try hard enough.”

“You cannot change anything without understanding.” He gathered his books and stood, looking down at Kara with an angry expression.

It struck something within her, her sadness shifting to defensiveness. “I understand more than you think,” she retorted, following suit, holding his gaze and standing her ground.

“That is more true than you let on, is it not?” He asked, his eyes slits. “Just how much have you kept hidden? How much must you hold over our heads before it fulfils you? Do the others know?” he spat. “Does _he_ know?” 

Kara gasped at the obvious blow towards her strained relationship with Iron Bull. “Perhaps you are right. Perhands I _should_ refrain from keeping secrets. Perhaps I should just start telling everyone _everything_ I know. That would be the honest thing right? Because keeping secrets is _harmful_ and those who we _love_ shouldn’t be kept in the dark, _should they._ ”

From the look on Solas’s face she knew that he had understood that her statement was a more poignant jab than even he had expected, and he opened his mouth to respond. But before he could speak Kara pulled her still raised hand down to her side, balling it to a fist and thereby dropping their protection from the rain. The sudden cold downpour startled Solas and he gasped, giving her a shocked look as she stepped back from him.

“Goodnight Solas,” she shot at him, walking quickly away before he could see that the wetness forming on her face was not from the rain.

She had been wrong. She was far from cheered up, if anything she now felt lower than she had ever felt in her whole life. When she reached her room she threw herself upon her bed, not caring if she got her freshly clean sheets wet and dirty, curling up into a ball and sobbing. 

He didn't want her help. He didn't want to change anything. She hated herself for trying. 

The rest of her thoughts were jumbled and hateful nonsense. She let them out as quickly as they came, not truly meaning any of them, and cried herself to sleep.

She did not have a nightmare that night, instead she found herself in the oasis again, alone with her thoughts which, to her, seemed worse than a nightmare. She pulled her legs to her chest and sighed, pressing her face into her knees. It wasn’t long before footsteps interrupted her self loathing.

“What do you want?” she shot at him.

“I came to apologize,” the soft voice behind her cooed.

The words surprised her but she didn't let her guard down, instead she remained silent, turning from him so only her back would face him.

“My words earlier were not expressly meant for you but for myself as well. The things you said are not far from how I feel; though I detest to admit it.”

She didn't want to forgive him so quickly, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. With a sigh she let her knees down and crossed her legs, though she didn't turn to look at him yet.

“I understand.”

“I assumed you would. You are an understanding girl, a quality that I wish I possessed in such quantities as you do.”

The flattery was working, though reluctantly.

“I regret my words.”

“Then why did you say them?” she asked, turning to him finally, her eyes blazing; though he did not flinch at them, instead he seemed to accept them as worthy punishment.

“Because while I may hold myself above others at times, I am only mortal.”

“Is that so?” Kara chuckled at the statement and when he gave her an inquisitorial look she ignored it. “Solas, you have to understand, not everything you think to be true, is. And when you have things that are eating at you, you don’t have to face them alone. I’m your friend, and you’ve been there for me in times like this, so let me be there for you too.” When Solas didn’t speak she added, “You don't have to force yourself to be alone; to face all of this alone.”

“An enemy can attack, but only an ally can betray you. Betrayal is always worse.”

She recognized the phrase as one he had said to the inquisitor at some point, and she instantly realized what all of this was about. 

That moment, in the game, had been a hint at something greater. While she didn’t quite understand at the time what he was referring to, later she'd realize just how much self hatred he was harbouring towards himself for ‘betraying’ Lavellan, the woman he loved, the leader he trusted. 

She understood then.

“It isn't your fault,” Kara said, standing and walking towards him.

“What?” he asked, looking at her with a look that screamed for comfort, for understanding.

“It wasn’t your fault she was marked.”

His eyes widened, but instead of combatting the statement he pushed on. “Everything was due to my weakness, and when she finds out…”

“She will forgive you, she always will,” she said softly, taking his hand.

“How do you know…”

_Because I did…_ she thought, but couldn’t say, _and we are the same._

Instead she looked up at him and simply said, “Just trust me, okay?” She grinned at him, squeezing his hand in comfort. “And please, don’t forget that it’s not all your fault. You had no idea and you can’t be faulted for a moment of weakness. And that you don't have to do this alone. Please don't hesitate to come to me when you’re like this. It hurts me to see you like this.”

He nodded and smiled back at her. The strange juxtaposition of their roles in this moment tickled her and she couldn't help but let out a giggle, to which Solas did as well.

When she awoke the next morning the exhaustion of the previous days seemed to have lifted and she felt a little renewed, hopeful. The woes ahead of her seeming to have drifted away, unimportant, for at least now.


	37. The Needs of the Few Outweigh the Demands of the Qun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, its been FOREVER. But here's an update. Hopefully, I won't take so long to do so again...   
> Being pregnant seems to be more exhausting than I'd have ever thought but boy is it worth it. I cannot wait until my little girl is finally here. Everything is going perfectly and both the baby and I are healthy so fingers crossed.
> 
> Anyway! Heres an update, don’t be too hard on me for the long break. It's only because you guys are here that I update at all. You are all so awesome. Thanks for sticking around.

The morning passed in a sort of blur, the events of the previous day and night having taken quite a toll on Kara, though she was relieved that it had all ended well it was still a bit heavy and the weight seemed to be more real than she’d have imagined. She’d had breakfast and chatted with Sera, though she couldn't recall what about, and now found herself wandering the grounds. It wasn't until she walked close to the training area that she was pulled from her funk, overhearing a passing conversation

"I'm glad you came by, I got a letter from my contacts in the Ben-Hassrath. Already verified it with Red." 

Kara almost tripped, Bull’s powerful voice stopping her in her tracks.

"What did the letter say?" she heard the Inquisitor ask in response.

"The ben-hassrath have been reading my reports. They don't like Corypheus or his Venatori. And they _really_ don't like red lyrium. They're ready to work with us; with you, boss. The Qunari and the Inquisition, joining forces."

Kara quickly ducked behind a tree, leaning against it and listening intently.

"That could be a powerful alliance," Lavellan stated, her voice optimistic.

"My people have never made a full-blown alliance with a foreign power before. This would be a big step. They found a massive red lyrium shipping operation out on the coast."

"They wanted us to hit it together. Talked about bringing in one of their dreadnaughts,” Krem interjected. “Always wanted to see one of those big warships in action." 

Kara peaked around the tree just in time to see Bull hit Krem with his shield, knocking him back and almost knocking him over.

"Did you see that? Go get some water,” he huffed, watching as the young man skulked off before turning back to Lavellan. ”They're worried about tipping off the smugglers, so no army. My chargers, you, maybe some backup."

"You don't seem entirely happy about this?" Her hands caught her hips as she gave him a smile with an inquisitive raised brow.

"No, I'm good. It's, uh... I'm used to them being _over there_. It's been a while." He rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"I thought the Qunari wanted to extend their reach to the whole world?" 

"Yea. Just didn't think I'd see it.” The usually confident and self-assured Iron Bull seemed very uncomfortable with the current conversation. 

Kara hadn’t talked much with Bull about the Qun but she always assumed he was just good about keeping his stringent beliefs to himself, but his reactions were making her begin to wonder if perhaps it was something else.

“Look,” he continued, “the Qun answers a lot of questions. It's a good life for a lot of people, but it's a big change, and a lot of folks here wouldn't do so well under that kind of life. I guess it's not like we're converting. This is just us joining forces against corypheus. On that front, I think we're good." 

"I think the inquisition could use some help from the Qunari," Lavellan responded confidently.

"Good,” Bull smiled, shedding his nervous look. “I'll pass on word to Cullen and Red We can set up the meeting whenever you're ready." 

“Wait!” Kara shouted, leaping out from her hiding spot.

The two jumped at her sudden appearance causing Bull to let out a hearty laugh. 

“Some assassin you are!” He quipped, slapping at the Inquisitor’s shoulder. “You jumped half your height just now!”

“I did nothing of the sort!” She shot back, her voice hard but her face giving away her base playful nature. “And besides, I’m not an assassin, I'm a rogue.”

“I want to come as well,” Kara shouted a little louder than she had intended. 

The two turned to her, surprised. Lavellan said nothing but instead looked to Iron Bull to assess his reaction to the outburst.

“Well, I guess you have proved yourself after the last battle. If I denied you this what kind of warrior would I be.” He smiled but held up a hand before pressing on. “Though it all comes down to what the boss wants.”

Kara lit up, turning to the inquisitor.

“I see no harm in an extra set of hands. You’re welcome to join us.”

“Thank you so much! I promise to be an invaluable ally.” 

“I expect nothing less,” she replied as she walked back towards the castle. “Get yourselves prepared, we will leave as soon as everyone is ready.”

The two nodded and turned to each other.

“I’m a little surprised,” Bull quipped, “after how last time went that you would want to fight again.”

“It takes practice. Plus, I trust you all to have my back. Not to mention I'm getting a little stir crazy.”

“I agree. I like going out, it means I get to see that dwarf.”

“The red-headed one? Scout Harding?” Kara asked with a grin.

“Is that her name? I like her, she’s got spunk.”

“Plus, that red hair isn’t hurting anything,” Kara joked, making a move to go to her room and gather her things.

“You like redheads too!?” Bull asked chasing after her.

. . .

"I don’t see any tattoos but you're carrying a staff, are you from a chantry circle?" Gatt asked suddenly.

"No,” Solas responded with a little venom, “and I would prefer not to discuss it."

The tension became palpable.

"Have I done something to offend you?" Gatt asked, pressing the issue.

"You joined the Qun,” he spat back.

"After they rescued me from slavery," the elf defended, obviously beginning to take the conversation personally. 

"And put you into to something worse.” Solas stopped, his hand gripping his staff just a little tighter. “A slave may always struggle for freedom, but you among the Qun have been taught not to think."

"Solas,” Iron Bull interrupted, “not the time." 

Solas nodded and the group continued on, succeeding the conversation though still obviously being upset over the concept.

Kara picked up her pace, reaching out and lightly touching his arm. He turned to her, his face still holding some distaste.

“When we get back, we should talk.”

“Talk?” He questioned.

"Can you make out any of your mercenaries down here?" Gatt’s voice carried from in front of them.

"Not from here. Probably a better view once we take the Vint's camp,” Bull replied.

“Yes,” Kara said, looking ahead of them. “I told you that you could come to me, remember? So when we get back, please do.”

Solas’s eyes widened at this and Kara smiled. Shocked into a sense of silence, Solas just watched as she ran ahead to Bull and pulled at his sleeve as well.

"Are you worried?" she asked him.

"They're my men,” he sighed, “I've been with some of them for years.”

“They can handle it,” she said encouragingly. “You’ve trained them so well.”

Bull smiled proudly but didn't reply.

"Get ready, we're close,” Gatt called out.

"We're clear, Gatt,” Bull responded.

"Right, signaling the dreadnaught."

Gatt stepped towards the fire and pulled out his flare, lighting the fuse and sending the red flame shooting into the sky. The air was still as it rose, the calm before the storm very real.

“Chargers already sent theirs up, see 'em down there?" Bull pointed towards another camp further down towards the beach.

"I knew you gave them the easier job,” Gatt teased.

Bull didn't respond to him, instead smirking. He might deny it but he cared about them like they were his own, despite their ability. 

"There's the dreadnaught,” Bull pointed towards the sea as a great ship emerged from the fog. “Ah, that brings back memories," he sighed nostalgically.

Bull laughed as it approached the other ships, dwarfed in comparison. Everyone seemed to settle in to watch their inevitable victory, but Kara was not comforted by its appearance. She instead gripped her staff a little tighter, her brows furrowing as she watched it attack. It took only two shots from their cannons for them do go down, but Kara wasn't looking at its easy dismissal of the battle at hand. Instead, she was looking to the shoreline.

“Nice one,” he cheered before turning to look at the beach. “Crap.”

Everyone turned with him to where Kara was already looking, quickly seeing the ship that had landed and the men who were quickly approaching the Chargers.

“There are quite a few of them..." Lavellan said under her breath and breaking the silence as the realization began creeping into them all.

“Yeah..." Bull responded.

"Your men need to hold that position Bull," Gatt insisted without hesitation.

Bull turned to him, chest puffed. "They do that, they're dead."

"And if they don't, the Venatori retake it and the dreadnaught is dead,” he spat at him, holding his ground. “You'd be throwing away an alliance between the Inquisition and the Qunari! You'd be declaring yourself Tal-Vashoth! With all you've given the Inquisition, half the ben-hassrath think you've betrayed us already! I stood up for you Hissrad! I told them you would Never become Tal-vashoth!"

"They're my men," he shot back, the pain of this decision thick in his voice.

"I know, but you need to do whats right, hissrad, for this alliance, and for the Qun." 

Iron Bull closed his eyes for a moment before turning to the Inquisitor, his alliance with the inquisition obvious, and giving her the ultimate choice.

Lavellan stood in the silence a moment, the weight of her decision weighing on her. Seeing this, Kara reached out to her, grasping her attention and giving a nod and sealing her confidence. She knew what decision the elf would make, she had made it herself.

"Call the retreat." 

"Don't!" Gatt called out, but Bull had already pressed the horn to his lips and blew.

"They're falling back," Kara sighed with relief as she watched the chargers retreating into safety. 

"All these years, hissrad, and you throw away all that you are,” the elf raged quietly, are hands rustling his hair. “For what? For this? for _them_?" 

"His name is Iron Bull," Lavellan said stepping forward, her voice laced with her commanding way.

“ _The_ Iron Bull,” Kara corrected, sharing a knowing smile with the brute.

"I suppose it is,” Gatt yielded, walking away.

The group turned back to the scene before them. The ships turned on the great beast that was the dreadnaught and the men on the shore took their positions.

"No way they'll get out of range,” Iron Bull said cheerlessly. “Won't be long now." 

"Bull, when the dreadnaught sinks..." The Inquisitor began.

"Sinks?” He chuckled humorlessly, “Qunari dreadnaughts don't sink." 

He did not explain, instead letting the resounding explosion as the ship took fire do that for him. The shockwave hit them strongly and Kara felt herself falling back only to have Bull catch her. She looked up to thank them but he was still looking out at the flaming wreckage of the ship, his expression grim, silencing her.

"Come on, let's get back to my boys." 

The group followed as he walked back down the path, all in silence, all in a row. No one spoke again until they were close to the gates of Skyhold where the mood began to lighten as talk of dinner arose, but the core if the group did not join in.

As the group dispersed Kara followed Iron Bull and the inquisitor as they made their way to the training grounds, a dejected looking Gatt waiting for them.

"Inquisitor, it's my duty to inform you that there will be no alliance between our peoples. Nor will you be receiving any more Ben-hassrath reports from your Tal-vashoth ally." 

"You under orders to kill me, Gatt?" He asked of his former ally.

"No, the Ben-hassrath have already lost one good man. They'd rather not lose two." And with that, he left.

"So much for that,” Bull joked, but Kara wondered how much it actually bothered him.

"The loss of the ben hassrath information will hurt,” Lavellan pressed, “Can we smoke out some of your old contacts?" 

"They'll pull their people soon enough, but we might be able to identify the agents who replace them.”

Krem sauntered over then, shield in hand.

“You're late,” Bull teased.

"Sorry Chief, still sore from fighting off all those Vints.” He turned to Lavellan, “Good to see you, Inquisitor." 

"How did the chargers come out of the fight?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"Just fine,” he said reassuringly. “Thanks to you and the chief, we had plenty of time to fall back. Chiefs even breaking open a cask of chasing sack mead for the chargers tonight." 

"Dammit, Krem that's the kind of thing you don't have to mention to the inquisitor!"

“Sorry chief," he called out as the Qunari rammed him with his own shield, but Krem held his ground deflecting it swiftly.

"Ah forget it, you're doing fine. Get to the pub, I’ll meet you there, you traitor.”

He smiled and nodded before heading off. Kara waited until everyone had left and Iron Bull was alone. She watched him strike the dummies a few times, his heart no longer in the act, before stopping and looking up at the sky. He was a strong man, but Kara could see that this had weighed on him, and understandably so. She couldn't just sit by and watch this thou, and before she knew it, her feet were taking her over to him.

“Bull,” she called out and he turned to her, his smile returning.

“Hey,” he chuckled, his joking persona thrown back up. “You look like hell. You should take a bath. I’m sure your muscles could use the soak.”

“Are you alright?” she asked, ignoring his push for other conversation. “After today I mean?”

“Of course!” He huffed, brushing off his obvious lie. “A battle is a battle, and there’s no battle that I don't enjoy.”

“I wasn't talking about the fight Bull, I know you enjoyed that.”

“Oh?”

“I was talking about the whole, you no longer being a part of the Qun. I know how you feel about Tal-Vashoth.”

“Ah,” he scoffed, turning to, once again, halfheartedly hit the dummy. “Sometimes the decisions you make aren't the easiest.”

“I understand that,” Kara responded with a humourless laugh, taking a step closer and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “But in the end, I think you made the right decision. The Chargers are your men, you’ve trained them and they would die on your orders, but that doesn't mean that those orders should ever be necessary. You would have regretted it.” 

Bull remained silent for a moment before finally speaking. “They are always what’s most important, but in the end, it wasn’t my decision. Boss made the final call.” 

Kara opened her mouth to speak but a sudden stiffening on Bull stopped her.

“Though she turned to you before giving it, why is that?” He asked.

Kara retracted her hand, her voice catching in her throat.

Bull turned to her then, his size more apparent now than it had ever been before. “And how would you know what decision would be best, that I would regret it?”

“Because I know you Bull, I-I know you,” but her excuse fell flat.

“You are **_The Oracle_**. She turned to you for advice and you gave it to her. They were _your_ orders.” He insisted, his chest expanding and his eyes flaring. “What did you know.”

Kara picked at her fingers, unable to look him in the eyes; but he wouldn't take silence as an answer. He gripped her arm harshly and shook her, bringing her gaze back up to his face.

“What. Did. You. Know.”

Kara could see the intimidating man that his enemies must face on the battlefield, only now it was turned toward her and she hated to admit how much it frightened her. When she finally found her voice it was but a squeak.

“If you had let the Chargers die you would have regretted it. It changes you, Bull. You don't forgive yourself. You’re never quite the same. I knew you couldn't do it, I couldn't let you do it!” Her words began to fall from her mouth uncontrollably, but Bull’s demanding tone silenced her.

“And what about warning me beforehand so that they would not have been in danger so I would not have had to betray my people? Had that crossed your mind?”

Kara stared at him in stunned silence before answering, “Y-yes but-”

“Yes but what?” He yelled.

“Yes, but if you stay with the Qun then later-”

“Later!” He huffed, dropping her arm and causing her to stumble to the ground. “Later! Something would change later, _of course it would._ And you are the all-knowing oracle who decides what is best for everyone else!”

Kara could feel her eyes beginning to prick in the corners, but she held herself together. Tears would do her no good here. “I just wanted what was best-”

“It was not your decision to make!” he spat back, his voice low but more pointed than before when he had been yelling. He threw down his shield beside Kara, making her flinch as it dug into the ground. “The men are waiting for me at the pub,” he said, turning to leave. “Good thing too, I need it.”

Kara didn't turn to watch him leave, instead waiting until she could no longer hear his footsteps to stand. She was unable to hold back her tears any longer. They streamed down her face as she sprinted back to her room and threw herself on her bed. 

What had she done? Had she ruined everything? She had only wanted what she had thought would be best for Bull and the Inquisition. She only _ever_ did what she thought was best. But he had been so upset. He was right, she had taken away his agency; taken away his ability to choose his own path.

Iron Bull was not known for his forgiving nature, could he forgive her? _Would_ he forgive her? Did she even deserve it? Was she just destined to be alone? With Iron Bull angry with her and Solas being involved with Lavellan it seemed she was doomed to loneliness. Besides which, she didn’t have much time left, to begin with, perhaps this was best. No one to hurt when she disappeared.

Perhaps it was best she die alone.


	38. A Deep Torture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's another update! Something juicy and rewarding for all the waiting you guys have had to do. I hope it was worth it.

Kara opened her eyes and looked towards the window to find that it was night. It was an odd feeling, waking up in the darkness, but one she was beginning to get used to. After her fight with Bull, she had tried to give him some space, hoping that perhaps he would either come around or perhaps be open to talking about it some more so that she could explain her point of view better. After all, _she_ was the oracle; _she_ was the one who knew how everything would happen and their outcomes, so her decisions were the most well informed. His anger was misplaced and childish. 

But this hadn’t proven the case. She had forgotten just how bullheaded Bull could be and now a week had passed without much more than a glare between the two of them. After a few days, she couldn't handle the tension any longer and the guilt that washed over her each time, despite her being so sure she was in the right, and she began to hole up in her room instead.

Once it became apparent that she was missing, a few of her friends came to see if she was alright, but she turned them away, and rather angrily. After a few lashed out conversations to Dorian and Sera she assumed word must have gotten around that she didn't want to be spoken to and she was eventually left alone. She hadn’t really admitted it to herself but her strange sleep patterns were also an attempt at isolation, being able to stealthily avoid even Solas, who she didn't want to think about at present. There was only one person of whom she could tolerate at present. 

Occasionally Cole would come and sit in the room with her, his silent presence welcomed. He would bring her meals so that she wouldn't have to interact with others, saying something along the lines of “sometimes quarantined meditation can prove to be the most helpful to a situation. The absence of a presence can sometimes speak louder than the words of the insistence of merit.”

She hadn’t quite understood, but Cole tended to know what he was talking about and kept her questions to herself, instead, using the time for introspection. The more time alone she seemed to have, the darker her thoughts became. She had at first spent most of her time going over her conversation with Bull and how it could have gone better; how she could have proven her point more soundly, but it eventually drifted from there into to her things like her own encroaching mortality. Or could she even call it that?

Was it true that she was going to die? Or was it more like just never having existed in the first place? Was that so different from dying? She had never really held any strong religious beliefs when back in the real world. They had all seemed so fanciful and more wish-fulfillment than reality, but here religions were true. Could she put any faith in them, being not truly of their world? Could she hope for their ideas of an afterlife allowing her entry or would they ignore her presence like a line of code that was not meant to be included, yet not detrimental to the whole of the world, only to be deleted to keep the order.

And then other thoughts more on her current situation would plague her such as, how long would it take? Would it be quick or would she slowly fade from existence and turn into nothing? Would she truly be nothing or would it be painful? If the interactions with Lavellan were any inclination than it seemed as though it leaned more towards pain than not, which she didn’t like. And what should she do in the meantime? Did any of it matter?

Without really meaning for it, her thoughts shifted to Solas. With his image in her mind, she felt a jab of unhappiness in her heart and groaned. She ached for him even now and she knew it and it disgusted her. Even though she knew that he was in love with Lavellan, though she knew that he would eventually leave even her, though she knew that, even if he did choose her, that she wouldn’t be long for this world and would leave him as well, she still found herself pining over the thought of being with him as though it were a real possibility. She was being selfish and she knew that she needed to stop, and in a moment of unusual strength she felt herself make the resolve solid.

The feeling almost took her breath away for a moment, shocking her. Had it really been so easy to give up the chase? She knew that it was the best course of action, to let him and Lavellan drift along their romantic path until it's inevitable end and not attempt to intervene any longer, but she hadn't expected it to be such an easy choice to make. And now that she had a wave of relief washed over her causing her to be exhausted despite having woken up only moments before. 

The relaxing feeling didn't last long though, as only minutes would pass before a knock would echo from her door and irritation would find its way back in. With a grimace, she responded, though she didn't open her eyes.

“Who is it?” She asked, flatly.

“It’s me,” the baritone voice of Iron Bull rang out, causing her to sit up bolt straight, a flash of panic running down her spine. “May I come in?”

“Sure!” She answered a little too loudly. “Come in, come in.”

Kara cleared her throat and attempted to look casual, though not very successfully, coming across more disheveled than calm; but Bull didn't seem to notice. His face held a strange softness it did not usually have and the uncomfortable nature of it was apparent.

“I wanted to talk to you in private,” Bull explained while closing the door behind him.

“About the fight?” she asked, scooching to the edge of her bed in order to let her legs dangle off.

“Somewhat,” he crossed the room, stopping so he was standing before her, but still seeming to want to keep some distance between the two of them.

“I understand. I’m sorry that I upset you, but I truthfully intended to give you the best outcome that I could, you realize that right?” Kara attempted to explain once more.

“I do, but you must understand that you intended to give me the best outcome _from your point of view_. Though we have never truly spoken on the subject, I can piece together that you, along with many others here though perhaps not quite as vehemently, do not agree with the ways of the Qun. Am I correct?”

Kara blinked, taken off guard by this line of questioning. He was right of course, but she hadn’t thought about it like that.

“And because of that,” he continued, her bewildered expression answer enough, “you chose how you did. But unlike you, and the others, I lived under the Qun. I may not have chosen that life for myself originally, but every day that I did not leave it was a day that I chose to stay within it. It was my choice, and that day on the cliffs you took that choice from me.” Bull paused then to let Kara speak, giving her the time it took her to figure out exactly what she wanted to say.

“I-I’m sorry Bull, I hadn’t quite thought of it like that.”

“I assumed as much, that is, after I was done being angry.”

“Yea,” she chuckled and looked down at her hands, embarrassed.

“After some thought, I came to the conclusion that it might be more than just prejudice behind your decisions and, while by no means do I mean to extract anything from you that you might not want to tell me about the future, I was curious if the decision led to something… more prominent than just my remaining or leaving the Qun.”

Once again shocked at Bull’s empathy, she knew he was right. She did know that this decision, much later in time would become a hindrance to Bull when time came to choose sides. Though he was also right that she didn't exactly want to disclose why that was, so instead she nodded.

“Hmm,” he copied her nod, “Good. I’m glad that’s settled then.”

“What?” She asked, looking up at him. Settled? Just like that?

“You know that Elven redhead in the kitchen, the one who makes the buns?” he asked before she could really regain herself.

“Yea what about her?”

“I heard she’s available,” he said with a flirtatious tone. “You, uh, want me to see if she’d be interested in a little _fun_?”

“Seriously?” she asked, dropping her head and tightening her firsts on her lap.

“If you don’t want to that’s fine. Just thought I’d ask after our fun little discovery on shared interests the other day.”

“That's not, ugh!” she growled, pushing out her jaw and biting her cheek.

“Something is bothering you,” he stated, moving closer now.

“I get that we’ve resolved this issue but can’t you tell I’m not really in the playful mood?”

“I can see that now, but I assumed that it was because of our argument and now that it has passed that your mood would as well.” Bull sat down beside Kara on her bed, his hand inches from her leg.

“Well, our fight isn't the only thing that’s bothering me.”

“Tell me.”

Kara stayed silent.

“Do you not trust me?” he pushed.

“It’s not that, it’s just personal.” Kara turned her head from him and he didn’t like that.

Bull grabbed her chin and twisted her face to force her to look at him. “I think I know what might cheer you up,” he said, his voice deep pregnant with meaning.

. . .

It had been a week since the mission and Solas had not seen Kara since. Their conversation ringing in his mind each waking second, he had intended to bring it up with her the next time he had seen her, not wanting to seem too forward in case he was wrong; but with her sudden disappearance, this became impossible. Not to mention whenever the subject of her was brought up to the others he was met with aggression for which he could not explain. No, it was apparent, he would have to go to her. 

It had taken all day to gather himself up and decide to finally just go to her room to talk and now it was dark out and he felt silly as he crossed the grounds to find her. Why should he feel so strangely about this, it was a simple question of which he was probably just misunderstanding the situation to begin with. He would ask her and clear this whole silly mess up.

Could it be more than he thought? She had told him to talk to her about things, yes, but that conversation had happened when they had met in the fade and, as he recalled, she did not have any memories of said meetings. Or had she just said it as an extension of friendship? It was very easily a misunderstanding but the idea that she could have retained some memory of their fleeting and stolen moments lingered with him and it struck some deep chord within him, but why?

Solas paused, stopping just a few steps from Kara’s room, lost in his own thoughts. What had that feeling been just then? The idea that she could recall their trysts was something positive, which confused him. Should he not feel betrayed and lied to? It would mean that all this time she was lying to him about it and manipulating him and their interactions, but for some reason, this fact didn’t bother him in the slightest. In fact, it made him feel rather giddy at the prospect of having a secret place in which he could meet with her with the full knowledge that no one could ever corrupt it or interrupt them.

The thought escaped him then as he took a few steps forward and heard muffled voices from within Kara’s room and his positive mood fell away. Against his better judgment, Solas stepped closer and eavesdropped, unable to make out what was being said, but very distinctly being able to make out who’s voice it was she was conversing with. The Iron Bull.

A feeling of disgust and anger overwhelmed him then, but he quickly quashed it, being very confused and concerned at the uncontrolled emotions. Why should it bother him who she spoke to, even if it _was_ later than would allow polite company? Though he was attempting to speak with her at this hour as well so it didn't really say much for that. Slightly ashamed of himself and his volatile reactions, Solas considered returning at a later time, or perhaps tomorrow, just as he heard Kara’s voice raise and this time he could make out the words.

“STOP it, Bull! I said NO!”

Electricity shot through him and his hand was on the handle in seconds, pushing the door open as another round of shouting rang out.

“Get OFF me!”

Solas slammed the door open to see Kara laid back on her bed with the towering Bull over-stretched upon her, one hand holding down her wrist while the other held her face. He had entered just in time to witness Kara land a well-placed punch to his chest, though it did little with their size difference. In fact, he seemed to laugh it off.

“It will calm you.”

“It will do NO SUCH THING,” she screamed back. 

It was only then that the two noticed that they were no longer alone and looked up to see an enraged Solas strutting towards them, his hands in fists at his side.

“Solas!” Kara gasped.

“You could knock,” Bull chuckled, obviously not seeing the gravity of his entrance as any real threat.

Soals ignored his comment, raising a hand and sending a gust of wind their way, effectively throwing Bull from the bed and back into the opposite wall.

Kara let out a scream as Bull flew from her, exclaiming, “What the fuck!?” before stopping.

“You had better explain yourself quickly you-” Bull began, but Solas cut him off, his voice low and stern.

“Are you so insensitive that you wouldn’t understand how what you are doing is not only morally irreprehensible in general but that it might be an especially poor course of action when considering the subject of your advances and what she has still quite recently been recovering from, you oblivious, incorrigible _beast_?” While his face radiated rage, his voice was level and the combination was quite intimidating. “Or must I spell it out word for word?”

Bull was silent at that, his defiant look dropping and being replaced with a childlike guilt as he turned to look at Kara, only now registering his own actions; the look of fear on her face like a dagger.

Before he could think to retort Solas crossed the room, gently but quickly scooping Kara into his arms and turning to exit, slamming the door behind him with another bout of wind and leaving the Qunari to his own thoughts. Kara didn't speak as Solas carried her, instead just taking the moment in and pressing her face into his chest, and Solas did the same, remaining silent as they entered the Rotunda.

Silently, Solas set Kara down on his lofty chair and paced the room a moment, rubbing his eyes with an irritated look on his face as he attempted to calm himself. After a few uncomfortable seconds of silence, he turned to her and spoke.

“I’m going to assume, from your reaction, that what I interrupted wasn’t something I misinterpreted and was in fact unpleasant?”

She nodded.

“Were the two of you fighting over something?” 

She shook her head.

“Are you going to speak or am I going to have to drag it out of you?” he asked, his tone irritable.

“Not really, well, yeah actually, I guess.”

“Well, which is it?” he demanded.

She shrunk back and Solas immediately regretted his tone.

“I apologize, I’m just trying to understand what was going on.” 

“He was trying to cheer me up with sex and it really wasn't what I wanted or can even understand why he might think that?” she sighed. “Well, I guess I can. It would cheer _him_ up. But he wasn't really reading the room very well. I don't think he meant anything bad by it. He definitely wouldn't have pushed it much further. He probably feels really bad now.”

“Do you love him?” Solas asked quite suddenly, shocking both of them.

“What?” Kara stuttered out, blushing and looking down at her hands.

“Do you love him,” he asked again, mostly curious but there was something else that kept him from dismissing the question, something pulling at him; a need to hear the answer.

“I… I don’t know. Maybe. I think I could if I let myself.”

“But you haven’t?” He questioned. “Why is that?”

“Well,” her blush returned and she fidgeted with her fingers, “I kinda like someone else, actually.”

The words sent a rush of relief over Solas that he didn't quite understand. It confused him and the lack of self-understanding upset him. In all his years he had never felt so conflicted or unaware of his own stance and the feeling made him feel juvenile. Something he hadn't felt in some time and for some reason gave him a sense of shame.

There was a knock at the door then and the two looked up to see Bull slowly enter, his head hanging in shame. Solas didn't speak as he entered, giving him a look of distrust, but Kara did speak.

“Bull,” she sighed his name sadly, feeling a little guilty for his state.

Iron Bull looked from Solas to Kara before asking, “Can we talk?”

“Sure.” She stood.

“I was wrong for pushing myself on you like that,” he pushed out, his tone remorseful.

“I assumed as much,” Kara sighed, “It’s okay. I'm not mad.”

“Come back with me?” 

Kara nodded, turning to Solas with a smile. “Thank you,” she almost whispered before skirting off towards Bull and disappearing out the door. 

Solas didn't feel upset at her departure, something about her answer having assuaged him slightly and he once more felt ashamed of the strange conglomeration of emotions he felt. With a hand over his face, Solas let himself fall back onto his desk, sitting at its edge and letting out a groan. He became startled as a set of hands fell upon his shoulders and pressed into his tense muscles, working into the now forming knots. 

“ _Vhenan_ ,” he chuckled breathlessly as he turned to see the Inquisitor on her knees on the desk behind him. “You startled me.”

“I apologize. You just looked so tense.”

“Yes, well…”

“It was very kind of you to help her.”

“You heard all that?” he asked, a twinge of fear passing through him.

“Well, a bit of it. I was making sure that no one else was in the rotunda and overheard the latter bits. Nothing much else.”

“Ah,” he sighed, relaxing.

“And I found that everyone has indeed turned in for the night, so we happen to be completely alone as of this moment,” she whispered into his ear.

While the suggestion was welcoming, something about it irked Solas and he shrugged out of her grasp, standing and walking over to the latter that led to his bed. “I’m sorry, _ma vhenan _, but I think I might retire for the night as well.”__

__Her face showed no inclination of sadness at the rejection. “Of course. There’s always tomorrow.” She crossed the room to him, giving him a sweet kiss on the lips, her hand resting gracefully on his face. “Rest.”_ _

__Solas nodded and she left._ _

__He climbed up and into his bed, turning to look at the painted walls that surrounded him and contemplating his emotions once more only to feel a pit forming in his stomach. The answer was quite apparent, he had just rejected it until now. He knew of whom Kara spoke of when she said that she _liked someone else_ and he was a fool to admit otherwise at this point. While he had never gotten around to the initial question of if she really did remember their moments in the fade together, the fact remained that he did, and she had admitted it to him before. And now he found he must admit it to himself._ _

__Despite all his attempts to prove to the world and himself otherwise, Solas was hopelessly in love with Kara and he could no longer deny it. Now he just needed to figure out what that would entail for the future._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me or is that angry, defensiveness just really sexy for some reason... I'm really proud of that long insult I wrote for Solas... it just kinda flowed out and honestly, I had to take a break after writing it, lol. I feel like a high schooler again. (๑.๑)


	39. A Truth Revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been forever!   
> My baby is here and she's absolutely incredible. If your at all interested I've posted pictures of her on my tumblr, Crilbyte. She's perfect... But damn do babies take up a lot of time lol
> 
> Anyway, things are really starting to heat up!

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, a slight breeze pushing the occasional cloud or two over it every now and again, keeping it from being too hot. 

The courtyard was full on this pleasant day, the small Skyhold market a bustling with commerce and over by the barn The Iron Bull sat and watched on as Sera and Kara dueled. In fact they had acquired quite a crowd. 

The two leaped like acrobats, Sera shooting her bow with deft accuracy only for Kara to throw her grappling chain and swiftly dodge, both smiling all the while. It was quite a sight. 

Solas approached the makeshift arena with a slight grin, placing a hand on The Iron Bull's shoulder to announce his presence. The two had silently made up in the past few days and all was behind them. 

“You come to watch the fight?” Bull asked, waving an arm towards the two, proudly, as a wave of alchemy flame spread and disappeared just as quickly. The crowd cheered appropriately. “Look at her. I would kill for her. I would die for her. Either way, what bliss, ” he sighed. 

Solas nodded in agreement, letting a loving look linger on his face a moment before answering. “As entertaining as it seems, I'm afraid I have other commitments.” He turned then, holding out an arm as Dorian approached behind them. “In fact, I was hoping you could inform Kara that I cannot tutor her today and that Dorian will be taking my place. It's regrettable, but necessary. I imagine she'll take it best coming from you.”

Iron Bull puffed up his chest. While true, he'd added the last bit as flattery to ensure that they're wouldn't be a discussion on the matter. It seemed to work. 

“Of course! I'll be sure to tell her as soon as they're done.” He then turned to Dorian. “You gonna watch the end of the fight while you wait?” he asked, patting the seat next to him. 

“Might as well,” he sighed, falling onto the wooden bench beside the towering Qunari. 

After a while the two ladies called it a draw and shook hands, the crowd dispersing after a few last cheers. 

“You're really getting pretty kick arse at the whole alchemy thing, aren't ya?” Sera shouted, giving Kara a noogie. 

“Stop!” she cried, playfully pushing her friend away. “I've been studying.”

“Speaking of studying, I think you should talk to Solas today,” Dorian interrupted, walking up to the two. 

“Dorian?” Kara asked, “where's Solas?”

“That's what I'm talking about. He's busy studying, has been for a week.”

“Studying?” she hooked her arms in front of her. “Studying what? What could be so important that it'd so him from our lessons?”

“He's studying dreamwalkers. Rare few who can enter the fade almost physically while sleeping.”

Kara didn't say anything to that. Instead, with wide eyes, she let her arms slowly fall. Their eye contact pregnant with meaning and understanding. 

“Why's he care about that?” Sera asked in her usual loud cadence, breaking the tension. 

“It's not my place to say,” Dorian answered without looking away from Kara. “But you need to talk with him.”

She nodded, “so does that mean no magic lessons today?”

“That’s why he's here,” Bull interjected, settling down into a closer seat. “Solas said to tell you, Dorian’s taking over your lessons today.”

“Oh,” Kara sighed, looking down with a furrowed brow.

“Well, don't look so disappointed. I'm sorry your boyfriend couldn't be here,” Dorian teased, getting a more than satisfying response. 

“He's not my-!” Kara blushed and quickly tossed aside her daggers and moved to pick up her staff. “Let's just do this, okay!?”

Sera fell into a fit of laughter. “Boyfriend! Boyfriend! Hahaha!”

. . .

 

Dorian had proved to be a tough and strict teacher. It really took Kara by surprise, in all honesty. She had assumed that his playfully sassy nature would translate to a good time, but he was a tevinter at heart all right. When he'd finally let her go for the night it was getting dark and she was exhausted. She knew she needed to talk to Solas before the day was out or she'd never do it, but she did at least shower and change first. 

With butterflies in her stomach, Kara crossed the stone bridge to the rotunda. She fiddled with her fingers and endlessly considered just turning back. She didn't though. With a deep breath she entered the first door, her nerves really setting in and making her head hurt, even feeling nauseous, but she pushed past it, waking through the second door with conviction as one last wave hit her, stopping her voice before she could announce her entry 

But it wasn't because of the nerves. 

Across the room, in his usual chair, sat Solas and on his desk was the Inquisitor, perched to look over his shoulder to see what he was reading. He quickly shut the book in response, a slightly irritated look on his face. 

“Please, _Vhenan_ ,” he snapped, “do not read over my shoulder like that. It is quite unnerving.”

It didn't seem to bother her though as she let out a little giggle and began to apologize before seeing that Kara had entered the room. 

“Oh! Kara! How pleasant it is to see you.”

Solas looked up then, his face giving away a glint of hopefulness before regaining itself. 

“You've finished training with Dorian?” he asked. 

Kara nodded, avoiding opening her mouth for fear of vomiting. How was Lavellan able to hold herself together so well? Did she not feel the waves hitting her as well? 

“Well, I'll let you two talk,” she said softly and excused herself from the room. As she left Kara caught a glimpse of sweat on her brow. It made her feel a little better about herself. 

After a few deep breaths, the feeling fading with every step away Lavellan took, Kara felt good enough to finally answer. 

“Yes, he was… harsh, to say the least.”

“I'd hoped as much of a tevinter mage, but I'm sure you didn't just come to tell me that.” 

“Yeah, I actually came because I wanted to ask you about something.”

“I had wanted to ask you something as well.” Solas put his book down and leaned forward, Looking concerned. “Although, are you feeling well? You look quite flushed.”

Kara quickly waved it off. “It's fine.”

“Are you quite sure?” he asked, standing now and waking towards her. “I've noticed that, when sharing each others presence, you and the inquisitor seem to become almost immediately stricken with some sort of illness.”

Kara made an attempt to pull away but his fingers touched her cheek and she found herself pressing further into the palm of his hand and closing her eyes. 

“I'm fine, really. We're not really sure what it is. Morrigan has been looking into it, but-” She cut herself off and Solas could feel her stiffen, a self berading look spattering her face. “It's nothing. I'm fine.”

“Good,” he said, stepping away and going to gather up some of his books. “I was afraid that you both might be sick. I am glad to be corrected.”

“Solas,” Kara pinched at her hem, “are you going somewhere? I thought you had a question for me.”

“Hmm? Oh, please don't worry yourself of it. I forgot I was to meet with someone tonight. We can talk on it another time.”

Kara nodded and watched, longingly, as Solas swept from the room with purpose. He took long strides across the stone floor, quickly finding himself in the Skyhold gardens where, under the gazebo, stood the Witch of the Wilds. 

“If it isn't our Elvhen expert.” Solas watched as she came out of the shadows, her son close behind. 

“Lady Morrigan.”

“And what brings one such as yourself to my little corner of our stronghold?” 

“I need to confirm something with you. It's about the Inquisitor and miss Kara Donnelly.”

“Ah yes. I expected this conversation to come at some point.” She turned to her son and gave him a reassuring smile. “Go and tend to the flowers, Kieran. I need to speak with our friend in private.”

Obediently, he nodded, running off with a childish gait to the opposite end of the garden and knelt before a pot of posies. Once the boy had settled in, Morrigan turned her attention back to Solas. 

“You've seen the signs,” she stated. It wasn't a question. 

“I have. The two aren't exactly similar but Kara regularly seems to know the reasons that Lavellan does things that even she herself does not understand and as of late, Lavellan has been acting strangely.” Solas rubbed his head in a dejected manner. “I catch her in mental loops or completely frozen as though she is a statue. 

“And when the two share a room they become physically stricken as though each others presence alone is a disease. They flush and act as though they are in pain, their minds clouded.” 

Solas had begun to pace, each sentence making him both more frantic and more relaxed. He was finally saying out loud his worries. “Is this due to Kara's strange past?” he asked, finally turning back to Morrigan. 

“You know of that as well? She has told you?” she asked, avoiding answering him for the moment. 

“Not in the truest of terms. At night she seems to travel, involuntarily, into the fade. I stumbled upon her by chance one night and now we have begun to meet there regularly.” Solas moved to lean back against one of the pillars surrounding them. “She has led me to believe she holds no memory of these meetings, and it once wracked me with guilt, but as of recently I have wondered at the truth of it. 

“She tells me things in those moments. Things that seem more fantasy than reality. Things about her home and how different it is from here.”

“You know more than I'd thought,” Morrigan crossed her arms. 

“So it's true then?”

“What you've come to think ‘tis in fact true, though not its entirety.”

“So does it all stem from her mysterious origins?” he inquired. “It's as though the two are connected in some strange spiritual way, but I cannot seem to find an explanation for why.”

“We know the reason,” she stated, holding her strong gaze. 

“And will you tell me?” he asked. 

He was afraid he sounded insincere, but of everything that he had come there for, he did genuinely want only to help the woman he loved. Morrigan saw it in him though, his true intentions were clear in his grief over it all and she dropped her defensive stance. 

“You are almost entirely correct; off by only the slightest,” she assured him and his eyes widened in shock. “‘Tis true the two share a connection and their connection is distressing them both. Kara comes from a world where everything that we know, everything that we call home, is fantasy.

“We are but a game for escaping their reality. A hand in which the player takes on the role of the Inquisitor.”

Solas stood in awe of this new information. “What are you saying?”

“The Inquisitor is who she is because Kara made her that way. She but a character they can play as. She could have been anyone and anything. She is only as she is because Kara commanded it to be so. Every decision, every conversation, every interaction; it was always Kara. 

“All of Lavellan is Kara, but not all of Kara is Lavellan.”

Solas held his hands out in front of him as if to shield himself from this new information. “So what you are saying is that Kara and Lavellan are…”

“Yes. One and the same.”

. . .

It was so clear to him now. 

Morrigan had explained further after he had taken a moment to come to terms with this new influx of information and when they had finally reached an end it was well into the night. Morrigan admitted that she had not told him everything, that it was not her place and that he needed to talk to Kara himself; to which he agreed and left for the night. 

It finally all made sense. All his confusion and emotional turmoil was justified. They were in fact the same person. As he crossed the empty halls of the stronghold he knew that it was far too late for him to go and talk to Kara in her room. After the training session he knew Dorian would have put her through she was most assuredly fast asleep; but if fate served him well this night then he could still speak to her. This could not wait. He could not wait any longer. 

As he entered the rotunda, Solas quickly ascended the ladder to his bed and sat, going into a meditative state more easily than ever before. It was as if a weight had been lifted. 

He would confront her on this tonight. 

It wasn't long before the familiar feeling of entering the fade washed over him and in the distance he could see her, sitting on the rocks of the oasis waiting for him. 

When their eyes met hers lit up like stars and she stood, excited to see him. He took a few steps forward, the words ready in his lips, but he found he could no longer say them. Instead he was suddenly being filled with something; a feeling. It felt as though his chest would burst open at any moment and as he closed the distance to Kara he found himself slowly speeding up as though he couldn't get to her fast enough.

Something came over him in that moment and just then his entire plans for the night had changed entirely…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man! What's gonna happen!? What's gonna happen?!
> 
> I mean... _I_ know what's gonna happen... But do the rest of you?


	40. Stolen Scent of the Fade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for being so patient. I hope it holds up to your expectations! Don't wanna keep you waiting, so without further ado, enjoy...

Kara idly swept her hand over the soft mossy surface of the rock she sat upon, her mind wandering from thought to thought without any real meaning until it landed on the previous day’s happenings. Solas had cancelled their training and it was so unlike him. Then the frustration filled her; just when she had finally gained the courage to talk to him about everything he blew her off! For a “Meeting”. A meeting with who!? Lavellan had been right there, so it wasn't with her, obviously. Why would he lie like that just to stop talking to her? It had to have been important, she assumed. 

She hoped.

Honestly, it seemed as though the two of them were drifting apart lately. They had once been so close and it seemed like since she had decided not to pursue the idea of him any longer, that their entire relationship had begun to erode. She hadn't wanted that. In fact it was the _opposite_ that she had been going for. What had she done wrong, where had she screwed up? She just wanted to be as close to Solas as she could allow herself to be for as long as she had left, but it seemed as though even that was too much to ask anymore. Or did she do something to upset him? He wasn't one to talk about his feelings, that was for sure.

Just then, as if her thoughts had called him into existence, Kara could feel his presence. She turned to see him standing a few yards away, just having entered the fade, with a strange look upon his face. Without thinking, she smiled and stood. Just seeing him made her so happy. Perhaps she was wrong. Maybe he wasn't mad at her. She opened her mouth to greet him when she realized that he was coming at her much faster than she’d expected, almost running. Her brow furrowed and she began to ask if he was okay, but the words never made it out.

He quickly was upon her, closer than she was comfortable with, and before she knew it he had wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him. The sudden embrace caught her off guard and she sputtered as his hand found the back of her head and pulled her lips to his. The kiss was hard and fast and she found herself drowning in it. All thought of anything before this moment was gone. Her hands grasped at his tunic as she let herself be pulled in, little moans escaping her lips that only made Solas’s hands grasp her tighter. 

_This can't be real_ , she thought; but thinking didn't last long. Solas had swept her feet out from under her and laid her gently onto the mossy ground beneath them, kissing down from her chin to her neck, effectively stealing her breath. It took a lot of effort, but she managed to push out a few words.

“Wait, Solas, I don't understand,” she gasped.

“I have held myself back for too long it seems,” he explained between kisses, pulling back and looking her directly in the eyes, “and now I can no longer.”

It dawned upon her - that yearning feeling that constantly burned away at her core ate away at him, too; yearning, burning. The insatiable fire that his spark craves from her kindling. It was hunger. A hunger for him that was fulfilled when she spent sweet seconds with Solas and the hunger he had for her very presence. The hunger that the dread wolf starved for in the same way she starved for him. The fire they made when they were together demanded more and, Kara began to realize, more would come.

That was all the explanation that she needed. 

Solas pulled her close once more and she let herself be dragged under, drowning in his hot breath. Each time his lips touched her skin he left a little flame burning behind. His fingertips trailing across her skin leaving scars.

“Kara,” Solas breathed, sending a shiver racing down her spine, “Kara,” he repeated it over and over until he reached her shoulder. He stopped a moment and then kissed up her neck then chin, ending at her lips. She stared at him; their eyes holding each other for a long moment.

“Kara,” he whispered once more upon her lips. 

Kara pulled him to her and kissed him hard. Solas pulled his hands up to her head, running his fingers into her hair and pulling her closer to him.

“Solas,” she sighed as he brushed his lips across hers, his breath hot on her lips. _This man,_ she thought to herself, _will be the end of me._

Breaking the kiss for only a moment, Solas ripped his shirt from his frame, revealing his perfect, gleaming chest and sending Kara's blush down her neck. She ran her hands down his chest to his stomach and just as she hit his waistline he stopped her.

“Solas?” she looked up at him sheepishly.

“Please, if you’ll forgive me to indulge my lesser desires,” he asked, his voice low.

Kara nodded and Solas pressed his face back into her neck, her words taken from her. He graised his tongue over her skin and bit her softly, pulling the most intoxicating moans from between Kara’s lips. He trailed down to her chest and with deft hands unbuckled her gossamer dress, causing it to fall away from her and exposing her pale skin. He ran his lips across the rise of her breasts and flicked his tongue at her nipple.

Kara arched her back and drew in a gasp. Her hands flew up and gripped Solas’s head as he kissed in between her breasts, massaged them. His right hand trailed down her side and her hip until he reached her matching laced panties. He snuck his hand underneath them and touched his index finger to her and watched her wriggle beneath him.

Her moans were like mead, they clouded his judgment. Solas lowered his hand and pushed two of his fingers into her. 

“Ah!” Kara pulled in a gasp of air, “Solas!” She moaned out as he pressed his fingers further into her.

“Kara,” he breathed onto her breasts.

“Solas, please,” her hand disappeared between their bodies as her face grew determined.

“What is it that you want?” he asked, his voice like honey.

She blushed deeper, casting her eyes away, but Solas wouldn’t allow it. He reached up and grasped her chin lightly. 

“Tell me what you want.”

“ _Ma,_ ” she sighed back, “ _ar nuvena ma._ ”

Solas looked up at her and smiled a coy smile. “Your wish is my command.” Solas sat back and pulled her knees up. He trailed his fingers down her thighs, taking in every inch of her before positioning himself and pressing the tip to her warmth, pausing. He leaned down, pulling Kara into another deep and intoxicating kiss and pressed into her fully. Like tossing alcohol into a fireplace.

Kara moaned loudly onto his lips, pushing her hips into his and arching her back. The intensity of her reaction made a flame ignite inside Solas and he began to thrust in and out of her with great intensity, breaking the kiss. Heavy, animalistic gasps slipped through the brief breaks betwixt their lips - a dire desire that drove the elf’s hips and fueled her flame. The rapid acceleration of their combination slowed and, in its place, a steady burn began in Solas’s precise pace. 

“Oh god, Solas!” she gasped, wrapping her arms around his neck. Solas buried his face into her breasts, smothering, kissing, biting as much of her as he could at once. Ravenous.

“Kara, sweet maiden who came from the fade,” he spoke softly into her chest.

“Always so formal,” she spoke between breaths.

“I’m sorry,” Solas pulled his face to hers and smouldered, “ _ma’ vhenan_ ,” he kissed her lovingly.

Kara could feel herself falling to cinders and pieces in his arms. He had called her the name she’d always desperately wanted to be called, all while his voice called to her like forbidden fruit. As she threw her arms around his neck she knew she would never recover from this, and she wasn't sure she ever truly wanted to. She had to let the fire burn and take with it everything she knew. Kara had to trust the flames that licked at her heartstrings not to sever them.

Every thrust pushed her further from herself, her mind clouding as her desire formed a smokescreen around her judgement and overwhelmed her senses. She could feel Solas’s grip on her hips growing tighter and she knew he was also teaching his limit. Without a second thought, she hooked her ankles together behind him, pulling him deeper into her. 

“Please,” she begged. Solas looked at her and with a look full of meaning she said, “inside,” and that was all he needed.

The fire was raging, consuming them both, the two’s moans rising in pitch until reaching their peak. Kara tightened around Solas, dragging him down with her into orgasm. She pressed her face into his chest and moaned loudly as he dug his fingers into her skin, his own face buried in her hair. The heat was insufferable, their breaths were stolen, and, together, they felt nothing but the hot steel that pumped through their bodies - that sickening pleasure of unity.

When it was over, the fire subsiding, Solas fell beside her and she laid her head on his chest, the couple just breathing together. They didn't speak for quite a while, instead, revelling in the afterglow, a fiery sunset over a tide of calm, soothing return to reality. Solas twirled a strand off Kara’s hair between his fingers and she sighed contentedly. She felt herself just over the moon. Dreamlike, even.

Without warning, Kara pinched Solas hard on the side, causing him to cry out. 

“And why, might I ask, did you do that!?”

Kara’s face drained of any colour it once had. “Wait, you're real?” she asked. 

Solas paused a moment before bursting into a fit of laughter. 

“Why are you laughing!?” she demanded, balling up a fist. 

“My dear,” he cooed, taking her face in one hand, “of course I'm real. What would have made you think any different?”

“Because, I mean, once before, well…” she regained done of the pink in her cheeks and turned away. “Never mind!”

“Oh, that's right.” Solas places a thoughtful hand on his chin. “I'd forgotten about that. But yes. This time it is in fact me. I'm no fade illusion.”

Her face turned a shade reminiscent of a tomato. “Y-you knew about that!?”

“I happened to catch a glimpse, yes. But please don't worry yourself, I did not see much.”

“Really?” she asked.

“Yes, I was pulled from my meditation rather quickly after discovering you here. The passion in which you were involved was a bit too much for me at the time. It destroyed my concentration and I quickly found myself back in my cabin.

“Oh,” she managed to say, embarrassed beyond belief.

Solas laughed at her expression. And it was hard for Kara to keep from laughing with him. This level of happiness in Solas was rare and she was finding it to be quite contagious.

“Wait a minute!” she shouted then, pushing herself up and into a sitting position. “If this is real then why are you here!?” she shouted.

“I can explain,” he began.

“Please tell me this isn't some flight of fancy, I genuinely don't think I could take that. Especially now with everything that I’ve been going through.”

“Please,” Solas sat up and rested a comforting hand on Kara’s. “Let me explain.”

Kara took a deep breath and gave a curt nod.

“I do apologize for assaulting you the way I did. I should not have approached such a delicate subject in that manner, but when I saw you I found myself… unable to hold back.” Solas looked down at his hand, disappointment on his face. 

“I don't understand,” Kara furrowed her brow. 

“I talked to Morrigan,” he explained and Kara’s face drained once more. “She told me about you and the world you’re from.”

“She did?”

He nodded. “And about you and the Inquisitor.”

“Oh,” she seemed as though she were walking on eggshells. “So you know-”

“That you are the same person,” he said, finishing her sentence. “Or, more so, that you are the Inquisitor. Yes.”

“Oh,” she sighed. She must not have told him everything. She wondered just how much he _did_ know. Surely nothing about her fate, it seemed. She imagined that he would be much more upset otherwise. She quickly decided she would leave it at that until she had a better grip on what he knew. Best not to suggest more than she needed. “So what does this mean?” she asked.

Solas gave her a puzzled look.

“For you and the Inquisitor.” she looked up at him from under her eyelashes, scared of the answer. “And for us.”

“It means change,” he sighed. “I will have to have a talk with Lavellan. If she knows as you do then I am sure she will understand.”

“How can you be sure?” Kara asked, placing a hand on his chest.

“She may be what she is because of you, but she is still somewhat herself. She is understanding, and she must understand this.”

“But it's not the path you were meant to go down. This changes so much,” Kara began to ramble but Solas placed a soft hand on her cheek.

“Every path is the right path. Just as everything could have been anything else,” he explained. “I am 

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

“You are Lavellan, but Lavellan is _not_ you. You are your own person, full of life and personality. Lavellan is a vessel for you to become one with this world and, lately, that has become quite clear to me. I was with the inquisitor for my own reasons but you fulfill more of my mental and emotional needs which resulted in a conflict which, inevitably, would meet its friction. I have chosen not to fight the current on it. Let it happen. If the river breaks a few people's hearts, so mote it be. But I like where the river is taking me and I want to follow it with you.

“It is akin to being with the person who wrote the love letters to you. The inquisitor has features that I love but one should never be content with just segments and portions of the whole affection.”

Kara was confused. It must have been apparent because she made Solas chuckle.

“When you entered this world as the Inquisitor, you chose me of all who are here. You loved me. You are the author and Lavellan is the love letters.”

“Oh,” Kara blushed slightly. His flattery was getting to her. 

“You are also the only person alive in this world who knows my secret,” he cooed under his breath and looking at her softly.

“You mean, about Fen’Harel?” She asked.

“I would ask if you could love me in spite of that, but you seem to hold no ill will towards my particular ailment.”

“Ailment?” she questioned. “I would say it's far from that. You tried to do what you thought was best and it seems as though you’ve been punishing yourself for it ever since.”

“Then could it be that you love me _because_ of it?” he asked. “That you’re only interested in me for my godly prowess?”

Kara looked up at him, offended for just a moment before she recognized the grin on his lips and playfully smacked his chest, the two sharing a laugh.

“I still can't believe you just attacked me like that,” Kara giggled.

“Foolish girl, you fell in love with a beast,” Solas teased and pulled Kara down to rest her head on his chest when the two noticed something odd between them; something hard.

“What is this?” Solas asked as she sat back up.

He reached for her neck to find a leather strip around it, tied to the middle was what looked to be a broken stone.

Kara’s eyes widened. “Oh,” she felt the dread seeping in, “why would this show up on me now, unless…”

“Ah,” Solas nodded in understanding. “It seems you have some conversing to do as well. I do not envy you. I believe mine will be much easier.”

“You don't think…?”

“The fade shows us a true reflection of ourselves, not just what we want to see. While you can manipulate it around you there are times when it will show the truth.”

Solas leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, attempting to give her a chaste kiss but failing miserably halfway through. When the two came apart, catching their breath, Solas let out a low laugh and touched his forehead to hers. 

“I will see you in the morning.”

“Oh! Solas! I wanted to tell you yesterday, but things came up. I remember-”

“I know,” he smiled as the world rippled around them.

“Morrigan?” she asked.

His nod was the last thing she saw before her eyes fluttered open and she found herself alone in her room. She stared up at the ceiling for what seemed like forever, birds chirping outside to signal the risen sun. Then it all hit her like a brick and she could not contain her giddiness. Kara writhed around the bed squealing and hugging herself before her hands came to rest, one on her lips and the other on her neck. She could still feel his lips on hers…

She could also feel the dragon’s tooth necklace pressed to her collarbone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOO BOY. It's been a while since I wrote anything steamy. Thanks to the people who looked over it and helped me edit, my friends Chad, Zach, and Fiyori! You helped me get over my anxiety for this chapter when there was so much build up to it. Also, all of you who are still reading. Thank you so much!
> 
> This story is officially the longest story I've ever written and I've got this drive to see it through. If it weren't for you guys I don't think this would have ever made it off the ground. So...
> 
>  
> 
> **Thanky You.**
> 
>  
> 
> And now, translations.
> 
>  
> 
> **Translations**
> 
>  
> 
>  _ma’ vhenan_ : My Heart.  
>  _Ma,_ : You.  
>  _ar nuvena ma._ : I want you.


	41. Stolen Scent of the Fade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for being so patient. I hope it holds up to your expectations! Don't wanna keep you waiting, so without further ado, enjoy...

Kara idly swept her hand over the soft mossy surface of the rock she sat upon, her mind wandering from thought to thought without any real meaning until it landed on the previous day’s happenings. Solas had cancelled their training and it was so unlike him. Then the frustration filled her; just when she had finally gained the courage to talk to him about everything he blew her off! For a “Meeting”. A meeting with who!? Lavellan had been right there, so it wasn't with her, obviously. Why would he lie like that just to stop talking to her? It had to have been important, she assumed. 

She hoped.

Honestly, it seemed as though the two of them were drifting apart lately. They had once been so close and it seemed like since she had decided not to pursue the idea of him any longer, that their entire relationship had begun to erode. She hadn't wanted that. In fact it was the _opposite_ that she had been going for. What had she done wrong, where had she screwed up? She just wanted to be as close to Solas as she could allow herself to be for as long as she had left, but it seemed as though even that was too much to ask anymore. Or did she do something to upset him? He wasn't one to talk about his feelings, that was for sure.

Just then, as if her thoughts had called him into existence, Kara could feel his presence. She turned to see him standing a few yards away, just having entered the fade, with a strange look upon his face. Without thinking, she smiled and stood. Just seeing him made her so happy. Perhaps she was wrong. Maybe he wasn't mad at her. She opened her mouth to greet him when she realized that he was coming at her much faster than she’d expected, almost running. Her brow furrowed and she began to ask if he was okay, but the words never made it out.

He quickly was upon her, closer than she was comfortable with, and before she knew it he had wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him. The sudden embrace caught her off guard and she sputtered as his hand found the back of her head and pulled her lips to his. The kiss was hard and fast and she found herself drowning in it. All thought of anything before this moment was gone. Her hands grasped at his tunic as she let herself be pulled in, little moans escaping her lips that only made Solas’s hands grasp her tighter. 

_This can't be real_ , she thought; but thinking didn't last long. Solas had swept her feet out from under her and laid her gently onto the mossy ground beneath them, kissing down from her chin to her neck, effectively stealing her breath. It took a lot of effort, but she managed to push out a few words.

“Wait, Solas, I don't understand,” she gasped.

“I have held myself back for too long it seems,” he explained between kisses, pulling back and looking her directly in the eyes, “and now I can no longer.”

It dawned upon her - that yearning feeling that constantly burned away at her core ate away at him, too; yearning, burning. The insatiable fire that his spark craves from her kindling. It was hunger. A hunger for him that was fulfilled when she spent sweet seconds with Solas and the hunger he had for her very presence. The hunger that the dread wolf starved for in the same way she starved for him. The fire they made when they were together demanded more and, Kara began to realize, more would come.

That was all the explanation that she needed. 

Solas pulled her close once more and she let herself be dragged under, drowning in his hot breath. Each time his lips touched her skin he left a little flame burning behind. His fingertips trailing across her skin leaving scars.

“Kara,” Solas breathed, sending a shiver racing down her spine, “Kara,” he repeated it over and over until he reached her shoulder. He stopped a moment and then kissed up her neck then chin, ending at her lips. She stared at him; their eyes holding each other for a long moment.

“Kara,” he whispered once more upon her lips. 

Kara pulled him to her and kissed him hard. Solas pulled his hands up to her head, running his fingers into her hair and pulling her closer to him.

“Solas,” she sighed as he brushed his lips across hers, his breath hot on her lips. _This man,_ she thought to herself, _will be the end of me._

Breaking the kiss for only a moment, Solas ripped his shirt from his frame, revealing his perfect, gleaming chest and sending Kara's blush down her neck. She ran her hands down his chest to his stomach and just as she hit his waistline he stopped her.

“Solas?” she looked up at him sheepishly.

“Please, if you’ll forgive me to indulge my lesser desires,” he asked, his voice low.

Kara nodded and Solas pressed his face back into her neck, her words taken from her. He graised his tongue over her skin and bit her softly, pulling the most intoxicating moans from between Kara’s lips. He trailed down to her chest and with deft hands unbuckled her gossamer dress, causing it to fall away from her and exposing her pale skin. He ran his lips across the rise of her breasts and flicked his tongue at her nipple.

Kara arched her back and drew in a gasp. Her hands flew up and gripped Solas’s head as he kissed in between her breasts, massaged them. His right hand trailed down her side and her hip until he reached her matching lace panties. He snuck his hand underneath them and touched his index finger to her and watched her wriggle beneath him.

Her moans were like mead, they clouded his judgment. Solas lowered his hand and pushed two of his fingers into her. 

“Ah!” Kara pulled in a gasp of air, “Solas!” She moaned out as he pressed his fingers further into her.

“Kara,” he breathed onto her breasts.

“Solas, please,” her hand disappeared between their bodies as her face grew determined.

“What is it that you want?” he asked, his voice like honey.

She blushed deeper, casting her eyes away, but Solas wouldn’t allow it. He reached up and grasped her chin lightly. 

“Tell me what you want.”

“ _Ma,_ ” she sighed back, “ _ar nuvena ma._ ”

Solas looked up at her and smiled a coy smile. “Your wish is my command.” Solas sat back and pulled her knees up. He trailed his fingers down her thighs, taking in every inch of her before positioning himself and pressing the tip to her warmth, pausing. He leaned down, pulling Kara into another deep and intoxicating kiss and pressed into her fully. Like tossing alcohol into a fireplace.

Kara moaned loudly onto his lips, pushing her hips into his and arching her back. The intensity of her reaction made a flame ignite inside Solas and he began to thrust in and out of her with great intensity, breaking the kiss. Heavy, animalistic gasps slipped through the brief breaks betwixt their lips - a dire desire that drove the elf’s hips and fueled her flame. The rapid acceleration of their combination slowed and, in its place, a steady burn began in Solas’s precise pace. 

“Oh god, Solas!” she gasped, wrapping her arms around his neck. Solas buried his face into her breasts, smothering, kissing, biting as much of her as he could at once. Ravenous.

“Kara, sweet maiden who came from the fade,” he spoke softly into her chest.

“Always so formal,” she spoke between breaths.

“I’m sorry,” Solas pulled his face to hers and smouldered, “ _ma’ vhenan_ ,” he kissed her lovingly.

Kara could feel herself falling to cinders and pieces in his arms. He had called her the name she’d always desperately wanted to be called, all while his voice called to her like forbidden fruit. As she threw her arms around his neck she knew she would never recover from this, and she wasn't sure she ever truly wanted to. She had to let the fire burn and take with it everything she knew. Kara had to trust the flames that licked at her heartstrings not to sever them.

Every thrust pushed her further from herself, her mind clouding as her desire formed a smokescreen around her judgement and overwhelmed her senses. She could feel Solas’s grip on her hips growing tighter and she knew he was also teaching his limit. Without a second thought, she hooked her ankles together behind him, pulling him deeper into her. 

“Please,” she begged. Solas looked at her and with a look full of meaning she said, “inside,” and that was all he needed.

The fire was raging, consuming them both, the two’s moans rising in pitch until reaching their peak. Kara tightened around Solas, dragging him down with her into orgasm. She pressed her face into his chest and moaned loudly as he dug his fingers into her skin, his own face buried in her hair. The heat was insufferable, their breaths were stolen, and, together, they felt nothing but the hot steel that pumped through their bodies - that sickening pleasure of unity.

When it was over, the fire subsiding, Solas fell beside her and she laid her head on his chest, the couple just breathing together. They didn't speak for quite a while, instead, revelling in the afterglow, a fiery sunset over a tide of calm, soothing return to reality. Solas twirled a strand off Kara’s hair between his fingers and she sighed contentedly. She felt herself just over the moon. Dreamlike, even.

Without warning, Kara pinched Solas hard on the side, causing him to cry out. 

“And why, might I ask, did you do that!?”

Kara’s face drained of any colour it once had. “Wait, you're real?” she asked. 

Solas paused a moment before bursting into a fit of laughter. 

“Why are you laughing!?” she demanded, balling up a fist. 

“My dear,” he cooed, taking her face in one hand, “of course I'm real. What would have made you think any different?”

“Because, I mean, once before, well…” she regained done of the pink in her cheeks and turned away. “Never mind!”

“Oh, that's right.” Solas places a thoughtful hand on his chin. “I'd forgotten about that. But yes. This time it is in fact me. I'm no fade illusion.”

Her face turned a shade reminiscent of a tomato. “Y-you knew about that!?”

“I happened to catch a glimpse, yes. But please don't worry yourself, I did not see much.”

“Really?” she asked.

“Yes, I was pulled from my meditation rather quickly after discovering you here. The passion in which you were involved was a bit too much for me at the time. It destroyed my concentration and I quickly found myself back in my cabin.

“Oh,” she managed to say, embarrassed beyond belief.

Solas laughed at her expression. And it was hard for Kara to keep from laughing with him. This level of happiness in Solas was rare and she was finding it to be quite contagious.

“Wait a minute!” she shouted then, pushing herself up and into a sitting position. “If this is real then why are you here!?” she shouted.

“I can explain,” he began.

“Please tell me this isn't some flight of fancy, I genuinely don't think I could take that. Especially now with everything that I’ve been going through.”

“Please,” Solas sat up and rested a comforting hand on Kara’s. “Let me explain.”

Kara took a deep breath and gave a curt nod.

“I do apologize for assaulting you the way I did. I should not have approached such a delicate subject in that manner, but when I saw you I found myself… unable to hold back.” Solas looked down at his hand, disappointment on his face. 

“I don't understand,” Kara furrowed her brow. 

“I talked to Morrigan,” he explained and Kara’s face drained once more. “She told me about you and the world you’re from.”

“She did?”

He nodded. “And about you and the Inquisitor.”

“Oh,” she seemed as though she were walking on eggshells. “So you know-”

“That you are the same person,” he said, finishing her sentence. “Or, more so, that you are the Inquisitor. Yes.”

“Oh,” she sighed. She must not have told him everything. She wondered just how much he _did_ know. Surely nothing about her fate, it seemed. She imagined that he would be much more upset otherwise. She quickly decided she would leave it at that until she had a better grip on what he knew. Best not to suggest more than she needed. “So what does this mean?” she asked.

Solas gave her a puzzled look.

“For you and the Inquisitor.” she looked up at him from under her eyelashes, scared of the answer. “And for us.”

“It means change,” he sighed. “I will have to have a talk with Lavellan. If she knows as you do then I am sure she will understand.”

“How can you be sure?” Kara asked, placing a hand on his chest.

“She may be what she is because of you, but she is still somewhat herself. She is understanding, and she must understand this.”

“But it's not the path you were meant to go down. This changes so much,” Kara began to ramble but Solas placed a soft hand on her cheek.

“Every path is the right path. Just as everything could have been anything else,” he explained. “I am 

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

“You are Lavellan, but Lavellan is _not_ you. You are your own person, full of life and personality. Lavellan is a vessel for you to become one with this world and, lately, that has become quite clear to me. I was with the inquisitor for my own reasons but you fulfill more of my mental and emotional needs which resulted in a conflict which, inevitably, would meet its friction. I have chosen not to fight the current on it. Let it happen. If the river breaks a few people's hearts, so mote it be. But I like where the river is taking me and I want to follow it with you.

“It is akin to being with the person who wrote the love letters to you. The inquisitor has features that I love but one should never be content with just segments and portions of the whole affection.”

Kara was confused. It must have been apparent because she made Solas chuckle.

“When you entered this world as the Inquisitor, you chose me of all who are here. You loved me. You are the author and Lavellan is the love letters.”

“Oh,” Kara blushed slightly. His flattery was getting to her. 

“You are also the only person alive in this world who knows my secret,” he cooed under his breath and looking at her softly.

“You mean, about Fen’Harel?” She asked.

“I would ask if you could love me in spite of that, but you seem to hold no ill will towards my particular ailment.”

“Ailment?” she questioned. “I would say it's far from that. You tried to do what you thought was best and it seems as though you’ve been punishing yourself for it ever since.”

“Then could it be that you love me _because_ of it?” he asked. “That you’re only interested in me for my godly prowess?”

Kara looked up at him, offended for just a moment before she recognized the grin on his lips and playfully smacked his chest, the two sharing a laugh.

“I still can't believe you just attacked me like that,” Kara giggled.

“Foolish girl, you fell in love with a beast,” Solas teased and pulled Kara down to rest her head on his chest when the two noticed something odd between them; something hard.

“What is this?” Solas asked as she sat back up.

He reached for her neck to find a leather strip around it, tied to the middle was what looked to be a broken stone.

Kara’s eyes widened. “Oh,” she felt the dread seeping in, “why would this show up on me now, unless…”

“Ah,” Solas nodded in understanding. “It seems you have some conversing to do as well. I do not envy you. I believe mine will be much easier.”

“You don't think…?”

“The fade shows us a true reflection of ourselves, not just what we want to see. While you can manipulate it around you there are times when it will show the truth.”

Solas leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, attempting to give her a chaste kiss but failing miserably halfway through. When the two came apart, catching their breath, Solas let out a low laugh and touched his forehead to hers. 

“I will see you in the morning.”

“Oh! Solas! I wanted to tell you yesterday, but things came up. I remember-”

“I know,” he smiled as the world rippled around them.

“Morrigan?” she asked.

His nod was the last thing she saw before her eyes fluttered open and she found herself alone in her room. She stared up at the ceiling for what seemed like forever, birds chirping outside to signal the risen sun. Then it all hit her like a brick and she could not contain her giddiness. Kara writhed around the bed squealing and hugging herself before her hands came to rest, one on her lips and the other on her neck. She could still feel his lips on hers…

She could also feel the dragon’s tooth necklace pressed to her collarbone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOO BOY. It's been a while since I wrote anything steamy. Thanks to the people who looked over it and helped me edit, my friends Chad, Zach, and Fiyori! You helped me get over my anxiety for this chapter when there was so much build up to it. Also, all of you who are still reading. Thank you so much!
> 
> This story is officially the longest story I've ever written and I've got this drive to see it through. If it weren't for you guys I don't think this would have ever made it off the ground. So...
> 
> **Thanky You.**  
> 
> And now, translations.
> 
>  
> 
>   
> **Translations**  
>  _ma’ vhenan_ : My Heart.  
>  _Ma,_ : You.  
>  _ar nuvena ma._ : I want you.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think! Comments and critiques are greatly appreciated! 
> 
> The more feedback and hits I get the more quickly I'll write!  
> (That's not a threat really. Having people be excited for your writing just makes you want to write more.)


End file.
